A MAZE OF GREED

"That is what I also want Mrs Payne. But maybe I am not deserving of that happiness." Ruth said sadly.

Mrs Payne felt a tug at her heart hearing how Ruth underestimated herself.

"No, Ruth. Do not say that, please! You are the most beautiful and caring woman I have ever seen. And the man who will hold your hand for the lifetime will be the luckiest man alive. Trust me!"

But Ruth was not convinced. She shook her head, biting back her tears.

"But how and when I can find such a man, Mrs Payne. Who would marry an orphan like me?"

"I do not know when you will find such a man. Sometimes, the person is around you, but you do not recognize them easily. And other times, the person comes unannounced and disguised in such a way, that you do not even look at them in that way.

In either case, it depends on your heart for whom it wants to beat and bleed. Trust that beating thing in your chest, my child. It will guide you on the right path. But also keep your guards up and do not trust blindly. Trust is like a sheet of paper.

Clear and white when you invest in someone. However once crumbled, it can not be regained again. Always remember that!"

How much Ruth had missed those words of wisdom from Mr Payne! Even now, when he was gone, his wife was filling his place.

"Mrs Payne..." Ruth choked on her words as tears gathered in her eyes.

"Tell me Ruth. What kind of man do you want as your life partner?"

The sudden change of Mrs Payne's mood took Ruth by surprise.

"Why are you asking that suddenly?"

"Maybe I can find someone like that now, as we are living here. I have already watched some good-looking men. Even Henry is quite good option." Mrs Payne said with a dreamy look in her eyes.

Ruth's eyes widened at that. "What? Henry? Mrs Payne, I can not even consider him as my friend let alone think of him in a romantic way!"

"Is not that a good enough reason for considering him?"

Ruth pursed her lips disapprovingly, which sent a loud and clear message to the old lady.

"Fine then! Tell me description of your dream boy, and I will look for just that." Mrs Payne gave up on Henry's option.

Ruth shrugged her shoulders, her face turned a light shade of pink.

"I do not know." She said in a low voice.

The old lady frowned deeply. "Ruth! At your age women even have two children and here you are saying, you do not know what kind of man you would like to marry?!"

Forgetting the tears, Ruth relaxed with this sudden change of the direction of their conversation. She smiled sheepishly in response.

"Okay. Close your eyes."

"What?"

"I said close your eyes!"

Ruth did what she was demanded by Mrs Payne.

"Now think of the man you want as your life partner. His hair, eyes, nose, face, smile, height, occupation, nature, habits... anything." Mrs Payne watched in curiosity and excitement as Ruth tried drawing the image of her dream boy.

For the first couple of minutes, all she could see was minuscule dots and irregular shapes that a person normally sees, after closing their eyes.

She tunnelled down her thoughts and focused on her goal. Slowly an image started appearing in front of her eyes. It was blurry though.

She started describing whatever she could see one by one.

"He... he is a tall man. Maybe muscular. His hair... they are not very long. They are unruly. Shadows... I see shadows covering most part of his face. But he has a sharp jawline and... and high cheekbones."

Slowly the image started getting clearer, and she started describing the details too.

"He... he has very beautiful eyes. Eyes that are more like unfathomable oceans- blue water hiding a whole new mysterious world under it. The intensity in them... it takes my breath away. I... I feel like whenever they look at me, they try to delve deeper and deeper into my soul and that... that is intimidating both in a good and a bad way.

He does not smile often. But when he does... a cute dimple forms on his right cheek. And his eyes twinkle like a small kid."

That brought a smile to Ruth's face. She was too lost in her own world, unaware of the fact that Mrs Payne was listening to her every word carefully.

"Something about him pulls me towards him but then there is an invisible barrier around him. Something that warns me against him. And then I wonder if he has many faces and I do not know which one is real."

Ruth's breathing turned irregular, her brows furrowed as her pupils moved side to side behind her closed lids.

"Ruth? Ruth!"

Her eyes flew open wide as she gasped loudly.

"Are you alright, my dear?" Mrs Payne asked in worry.

After a couple of breaths, she nodded slowly. "Y-yes."

For the next five minutes, none of them said anything. Then Mrs Payne broke the silence.

"Why my mind comes up with only one face after hearing your desription?"

Ruth looked puzzled at her.

"Who?" She asked slowly.

"Mr Edwin Berrycloth!"

Ruth choked on her own spit and started coughing. But this time, Mrs Payne did not move to help her or soothe her. She only stared at her gauging the change in her expressions.

Controlling herself, Ruth pulled a neutral face as if she was not affected by that.

"No, Mrs Payne. I can never think of him in that way." She said, not meeting her eyes.

"Ohh... that is sad. Then maybe you can think in that way about Lord Edwin O'Dell?"

If Ruth was shocked before then now, she was aghast, with wide eyes and her face pale.

Her lips moved, but no sound came through them.

"You must be wondering how I know, right?"

She nodded.

"I knew it after ten minutes in his company. But I must say that you kids tried your best to hide his identity, but these eyes are more experienced than your age. Nothing can hide from them."

Ruth looked down in embarrassment. "I... I am sorry Mrs Payne."

"Do you like him? It was him you saw when you closed your eyes, was not he?"

The tone Mrs Payne used left no room for denial. Helplessly Ruth nodded again, still not able to look at her, but then added quickly.

"But he is not the kind of person I would like to spend my life with. He is in fact exact opposite of that, Mrs Payne! He is rude, selfish, egotistic, ruthless, cunning and... and a womanizer! No sane woman would dare to fall in his trap."

Mrs Payne's face did not give away anything. She only studied Ruth for a long minute, then said, "It is late now. We should sleep. Good night!"

Ruth sat there stunned. She did not understand what happened just now and why Mrs Payne ended their conversation abruptly. Did Ruth mess up? Or was Mrs Payne misunderstanding her words?

Whatever it was, Ruth decided to go into the small balcony to get some fresh air. Or maybe a short walk would help clear her mind. The sleep was nowhere to be seen anyway.

Locking the door of the room behind, she stepped down the building and reached the vast lawn that spread all over the property.

She saw the moon smiling at her from above, and the breeze was pleasant against her skin and mind. Suddenly her mood elevated, and she passed her conversation with Mrs Payne behind.

She walked mindlessly as no one was there to question her. The guards were stationed at their respective positions. But this side of the property had loose security as there were servant quarters.

Her steps halted, and the smile on her face froze momentarily; when she heard some sound from her side. Curiously she turned to look in the dark to see nothing.

Maybe it was indeed nothing. Thinking of that, she resumed walking. Soon she reached a familiar stone path guarded by birch trees to both sides. She had been there with Thea when they were searching for Rees.

That day seemed like an old memory, but the parts of it were still very much refreshed in her mind.

Goosebumps rosed on her skin, remembering those parts. She contemplated going to see that old building again, but something in her mind refrained her from doing so. Dropping that idea, she decided to walk around it as she liked the vibes of that place even though she heard rings of warning in her head.

The grass was watered this afternoon only, and its smell clouded her senses. A thought came to her mind, and now that no one was there to see her, she removed her slippers and put her bare feet on the luscious green still wet grass.

She giggled at the ticklish feeling on the bottom of her feet. When she got used to that feeling, she sighed in bliss and closed her eyes.

God! It felt so good! And she thought this was what she needed after every stressful day.

But her happiness was only short-lived as when she opened her eyes with a wide smile, she froze in her spot.