Chapter 279 - I WISH I HAD THAT SOMEONE IN MY LIFE!
Ruth had started reading more about the witches and witchcraft. She did not know if that was the right direction, but she had to try every possibility. Her mood swings had gone worse from bad.
The only people who were able to talk with her without her getting irritated or mad were Elsie and Thea. Everyone was surprised at her strange behaviour.
Mrs Payne tried her best to ask her about it, but the look she received made her feel more guilty. Edwin avoided Ruth even though his heart longed for her and, to know why she was upset these days. However, he thought it was best if he maintained some distance from her.
They were already on a backfoot and, he did not want to make the matter more complicated than it already was. Theodora was constantly keeping eye on Ruth. She was looking for an opportunity, where she could get Ruth under her thumb.
Every time, Ruth sat alone, the last cries of that duck ringed in her ears. She did not know what she did with Henry. But he had not told anything to anyone and was acting normal; as if nothing had happened.
At least that was a relief!
The date of Thea and Rees's wedding was nearing fast. Everyone was busy in the preparations though Ruth thought they had done enough. She was looking forward to that day and was excited about it.
The more Ruth read about the witches and their powers, she found her drowning in their world more. After a lot of practice, she had learned a thing or two in a very short time.
That success did not only made her aware of her powers but also helped in boosting her confidence. Ruth had spent all her life in poverty and misery. The situation turned sore after her mother's death. The world had never let her breathe in peace, even for once.
And now that she had found a way to control some things that others could not make her will stronger. She praised herself after every success and practised hard when failed. She wished she could talk with Mrs Payne about it, for she was sure she knew more than she let out.
Ruth's steps halted when she saw Edwin walking from the opposite side with Lester. Her heart started beating in nervousness. Broadening her shoulders, she tamed her breathing and resumed walking at a slower pace.
Her eyes waited to meet the Cerulean blue ones. The distance between them shortened but with every step, disappointment started crawling her heart.
"Good afternoon, Miss Ruth!" Lester greeted her, but without a smile, which was so unnatural of him.
"G-good afternoon, Lord Lester!"
Although Ruth was speaking with Lester, her eyes were still waiting for Edwin's. That short interaction ended, and she had to go on so did the two men. But Edwin did not even spare her a single look.
How could he still be mad at her when obviously he was the one at fault? How could he think that he could lure her with expensive gifts and use her like other women? Was that peck on the cheek, that care he showed, the soft caresses of his fingers on her face, the way his eyes gazed at her with unknown emotions just a play?
Ruth's heart dropped at that thought. She turned around to see his retreating back with a tight chest. She waited for him to turn around even for a moment, but he did not. He disappeared around the corner, leaving no hope for her.
Ruth walked away from there as fast as she could. But she did not know that he stopped. He stopped for her. He watched her walking away with the same emotions on her face. His chest was also tight, and he was too hurt.
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It was two days prior to the wedding date, and Thea and Ruth were at Thea's home. Elsie gave Ruth a half-day off from the work, and she immediately reached Thea's home.
After dinner, the two women asked to go for a night stroll. The neighbourhood was safer and, they were strolling on the road in front of the Green's home, so Thea's parents did not mind.
"It is a pleasant night, is not it?" Ruth smiled, looking above at the stars filled sky.
"Hmm"
Ruth furrowed her brows at her friend's lack of enthusiasm.
"Thea, are you okay?"
"Yes... I am fine." Thea answered absentmindedly.
"There is something wrong with you. Tell me."
After a pause, Thea sighed. "Two days later, I am going to marry Rees." She told as if it was a piece of new information for Ruth.
"Correction. Not Rees, but also a man you love!" Ruth smiled.
"Yes. You are right!" Thea smiled too.
"Then I do not see any problem in it. Is not what you always wanted?"
"Of course, it is exactly what I always wanted. But..."
"But?"
"You can not understand pre wedding anxiousness of a bride." Thea shook her head.
Ruth thought about it for a minute then said, "Then explain."
"You know Ruth... it is... it is very complicated."
"Then simplify it." Ruth shrugged innocently.
Thea thought for a minute about how to explain it.
"Okay, I will try. Think about the time when you moved in Vincardine. Although you might have heard many things- most of them good- about it, you must have felt nervous. The new land, new people, new beginning of life and the fact that you can not leave it and move on is... terrifying." Thea shuddered visibly and closed her eyes shut momentarily.
"You knew it was good for you to live in Vincardine yet you might have been scared... scared of what if something goes wrong? What if it does not turn out the way you want it to be? What if-"
"Thea!" Ruth stopped walking and held her friend's shoulders.
"Breath!" She commanded, and Thea obliged.
"Now I have a fair idea of what you must be feeling. It is natural to think that Thea. But look at the bright side. When I moved in Vincardine, I had no one to look up to for seek support from. But you have that anchor for your ship Thea. You have Rees!" Ruth's words were so genuine that Thea's heart swelled with love for her friend.
"Rees loves you so much! I have never seen any man so madly in love with someone, of course he can not beat Mr Payne though."
They both laughed at that.
"Trust me Thea. It is all going to be worth it. Do not worry too much. You have that man waiting for, rocking on his balls."
"Ruth!" Thea looked at her in shock at her suggestive words.
"What? I was referring to balls of his heels. What did you thought naughty girl?"
They both burst out laughing. Five minutes later, as the laughter died, Thea again turned to face Ruth.
"Are you happy that I am getting married?"
"Of course I am! What kind of question is this? My two best friends are marrying each other! What could be better than that?" Ruth rolled her eyes at her friend's stupid question.
"Then when are you planing to make me happy the same way?"
Ruth was taken aback by her question. Avoiding looking at her, she searched for a way to escape this topic of conversation.
"Do not try to avoid this topic Ruth!" Thea warned.
Knowing that she had no way of escaping, Ruth sighed in defeat.
"Thea... I... I never had my father with me. Apart from Mr Payne, I did not have any father figure in my life to look after me or care for me. And you know that my experiences with men are equal to the gold jwellery I have- that is none! Tell me, how I am suppose to know who is the right man for me? How I am suppose to... trust him?"
Thea had never thought in that perspective. She thought Ruth was just too shy, and the responsibility of Mrs Payne made her run away from the topic of marriage.
"To know that you have to give a chance to someone."
Ruth looked down at the road. "I wish I had that someone in my life."
Thea bumped her shoulder in Ruth's playfully. "So no one has caught your eyes, Miss Moore?"
Ruth blushed, but a face made its way in her mind.
"Or maybe you are just ignorant of his existence in your life." Thea said knowingly.
"What do you mean?" Ruth narrowed her eyes at her.
"I mean, I love you, okay. Do not get me wrong. But Ruth you sometimes act too naive and dumb to see the obvious. You always have your guards up, and I understand why. But know that it makes you unapproachable.
How is a man going to get in your notice if you do not allow him in the first place?"
"I do not know what you are talking about." Ruth tried dismissing the topic because a certain someone and her last encounter with him kept bugging her mind.
"I do not want to criticise you Ruth. But I really think you need to open your heart and mind as well. Feeling is a delicate thing. It should be handled with care. If broken, there is no way of mending it again."
Thea's words left Ruth rethinking her actions. Every moment she had spent with the blue-eyed monster ran in front of her eyes.. And for some reason, her heart yelled at her to run back in 'the great manor'.