Chapter 448 - READY TO WAIT FOR THE WHOLE LIFE
Edwin and Ruth were having a long pending conversation in the woods of Vincardine and away from the others. The night was beautiful, but Ruth had so much on her mind than admiring it.
Edwin was slowly giving her the knowledge of what she needed to know. But when she did not ask anything for a long minute, he asked. "You do not have anything more to ask?"
Ruth bit the inside of her cheek. "Actually... this all is very confusing and very new for me. I do not even know the basics and what should I ask you.
So... I will trust your better judgement. You can tell me what you think is necessary for me to know."
Edwin understood her state. Living a whole life in one belief only for a moment that would break it completely was not easy to deal with.
Edwin tried thinking of an appropriate beginning, but when nothing satisfied him, he decided to say whatever came to his mind.
"Ruth being a werewolf is not a curse or ominous as they tell in the folktales. We are not a myth. We are just living hiding our identity amongst humans. Now the answer to this why is very long.
But just for you to know, the later humans are not so accepting. They think we are monsters, barbaric, cruel and bloodthirsty."
"Are you claiming otherwise? Because what I saw last night only affirms the claims made in those folktales." she held his gaze confidently.
Edwin expected to see her shivering in fear or cringing at the mention of the previous night. Contrary to that, she was calm. She was confidently asking him for information and was patiently listening to him.
"I am not claiming anything here Ruth. I believe in proving through actions. Although all those claims are partial truths." Edwin said in a steady voice.
"Partial truths?"
Edwin nodded his head. "Yes. Some of us might be like they say. But you have to understand that our other half is an animal. That animal is wild, short-tempered, dominating and a warrior.
We do not choose him, in fact, he chooses us as per the wish of the Moon Goddess. Nothing in our world happens without her wish."
"Everything? Like the God?" Ruth asked curiously. For some reason, she was very fascinated by this Moon Goddess.
"Yes. She is like a God for us. We are born by her wish, we live by her rules and we die by her plans." Edwin told, smiling at her curiosity.
Ruth frowned. "Does that... does that mean you fall in love by her wish too? Like we say God has sent you in my life. Do you say that about your Moon Goddess?"
Edwin was silent at first as he tried to understand what was running in her head.
"Yes. A mate- lover in your language- is decided by the Moon Goddess for every werewolf. We cross each other's paths according to her wish." He had promised to be truthful after all.
Now more alert, she asked, "Is that... is that why you..."
"No. Don't go that way Ruth." Edwin warned as he understood what she was going to say next.
"Yes, you coming into my life was her plan. She has chosen you as my mate. But she has nothing to do with what I feel for you."
He wished he could walk to her and hold her close while pouring his heart out. But he knew how his touch affected her, how her body responded to him. He did not want to influence or distract her.
Not this time!
"It was you who made me fall in love with you, Ruth. It was your morals, your pride, your braveness, your thoughts that attracted me towards you more than the mate bond.
It was your smile, the way you speak, the way you frown, the way you look at me that made me want to be with you, watch you and admire you for all my life.
It was your touch, your loving gaze, your scent that drives me crazy in your love and needs. It was not planned Ruth, please trust me! My love for you is as pure and unplanned as yours for me."
Ruth's ears heard his words, but her eyes searched for the authenticity of them in his cerulean blue eyes that sparkled under the moonlight as if they had a layer of moisture in them.
"Did you... did you know since the beginning about this... mate thing?" She asked, gulping down the lump that had formed in her throat.
Edwin shook his head. "No, I did not. At first, you were like a puzzle that I wanted to solve. But the more I studied you, tried to solve you, I unintentionally kept digging deeper and deeper.
Something about you always had me obediently ready for your thoughts. When I began questioning myself why you of all the women... I had no asnwer. Call it destiny or a mere coincidence, but to prove peoples' assumptions wrong, I checked the Black book.
And that was when I got to know why you. Because you are my mate, Ruth! Our destinies are intertwined with each other, and it is in your hands if you want to separate them or live to cherish them."
Ruth was confused. She did not understand how this mate thing worked or what was a mate bond. She did not understand how a God-like entity decided her fate.
"B-Black book?" She picked up that word as it rang some bell in her head.
"Is it that big old book kept in the glass shelf in the library?"
Edwin paused. How did she know? And how much she knew?
"Yes." He slowly said, gauging her reactions. He did not miss the sudden interest sparked in her eyes, her face brightened considerably.
She was very much intrigued, he concluded.
"What is that book and how is it related to us?" Came her next question.
"That is a book on the werewolf history and thus history of the O'Dell family. That book has all the knowledge about us, our past, our present and... our future." He told cautiously, to not reveal much.
She was not yet ready for that part.
She made an 'o' in amusement. She knew that book was important.
"So... does it mean that... that I... I cannot leave you?" She asked hesitantly.
Her question stabbed Edwin's heart, yet he knew he had to answer it truthfully.
He shook his head. "You can if you want."
Ruth tried to pick on the emotions in him, but all she received was a flat tone. The Edwin O'Dell was back again, putting his mask of indifference.
"Do you want that?" She asked, gazing at him intently.
Edwin smiled, scoffing softly. "You are asking if I want to ripped my heart out of my chest, and move on in my life, like a heartless monster."
Ruth bit the insides of her cheek as she felt utterly confused and helpless with all she had received from him- the information, the revelations, the emotions!
"If I am so important for you then why did not you tell me this before?" Tears betrayed her strong will as they clouded her vision.
"Would you have agreed for this peaceful conversation then? Would you have given me a chance to explain? You would have run away from me the moment you saw my real form."
Brutal... but true!
She stayed silent as they both knew the answers to that.
"Ruth"
She was startled hearing his voice coming from so near. And when she looked up, he was already looking down at her with his mesmerising eyes. The moonlight fell on his face creating impressive shadows.
"I do not have any proof of my love. My honesty and loyalty towards you are the only things I can present in my case. I have done many wrong things. I have made you uncomfortable at many times, scared you, stalked you for more than a week, watched you when you had no idea of it and... I have hidden many things from you."
Stalked you? And then it dawned upon her. She recalled the time when she felt someone was following her for days. It was him! It was Edwin!
It seemed long ago. Was he... was he in love with her for that long?
"I have not given you any reason to... stay with me. I am not going to tell you that I would die if you leave me and how it will destroy me even though it is true. I do not want you to stay for the sake of pity or the obligation of being my mate."
Edwin slowly lifted his hand but paused momentarily midair to see if she push it back. But when she did not, he cupped her face in his large palm.
"I know you are not done with your questions and trust me, I am not tired of giving you answers. But I also do not want to overwhelm you as I know it is too much to take in at once.
We should go slow. Learn, analyse, think, absorb and then go for more knowledge. It will help you in easy understanding."
He told as if he was her teacher.
Perhaps he was in this sense!
"I am not asking you to chose just now or tommorrow or in a week. Take your all time that you need. Be sure and then only give me your decision. Because... because I am ready to wait for my lifetime if it means I would get to spend at least one moment of love with you!"
Ruth's eyes stung even more as she kept looking at the man who was perfect in every sense and yet was incomplete, broken and dark.
"But remember..."
His voice turned serious, making her hold her breath in anticipation of what would be his next words.