A MAZE OF GREED

"Good morning, dear! Are you ready to go to the shop?" Mrs Payne watched Ruth locking her door.

Startled by her voice, Ruth fumbled with the key and dropped it on the ground. "Y-Yes. Erm.. g-good morning!"

"Ruth, are you unwell?" Mrs Payne asked in a worried voice.

She had noticed that something was not right with Ruth. Since she had returned from Thea's home, she locked herself in her room. She only went to the shop in the morning and returned in the evening. But didn't talk with anyone.

She didn't smile nor paid attention to her surroundings. Whenever Mrs Payne tried to talk with her, she avoided the topic and looked lost.

Even now after getting ready to leave for work, she looked awful. Her long toffee brown hair had lost its shine as if she hadn't wash them these days. Her face looked pale with bags under her eyes.

She was barely a moving body without its soul. And this state of hers worried Mrs Payne to great lengths. She wanted to know if something happened to her or she had a fight with Thea but Ruth's lips were sealed tightly.

"I am fine, Mrs Payne."

"You don't look like one. Ruth, dear, if you have any problem then you know that you can share it with me. I am like a mother figure to you." Mrs Payne stared at her with concerned eyes.

Ruth took a shaky breath then tried to put up a fake smile that didn't reach her eyes. "I am just tired, that's all. Now I am getting late. See you in the evening. Take care!"

She didn't give Mrs Payne a chance to say more and hurried to get out of there. Unable to help, she peeked at Florence's door that was shut. It had been a week after those unexpected events. And during this time, Ruth had not seen Florence even once.

She was not sure about what she felt for Florence was a pity or concern, especially after their fight. But as a kind soul, she hoped that the other woman was fine.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't realise that she was in front of Mr Cooper's shop already. Her heart didn't want to go inside and face Thea. But her mind knew better than that.

Overpowering her erratic heart, her mind won the battle and after a minute of encouraging silence, she opened the door.

"Good morning, Ruth!"

"Good morning!" Ruth gave a small smile to her coworker and greeted all of them except one.

Placing her bag on her workstation, Ruth glanced at Thea who was lost in her world of thoughts.

"Good morning, Thea" Ruth tried to gain her attention with hesitance.

Thea looked at Ruth dumbfoundedly. "What?"

"I said good morning." Ruth repeated.

"Oh, yes. Good morning." she mumbled. Ruth felt her heart sank at Thea's behaviour.

For the past week, their friendship became strained. They didn't talk much. Ruth wanted to know what happened after Thea went following Rees but didn't dare to ask. She thought that Thea needed some time and she would tell her everything eventually. But she had no idea that the wait would be this long.

"Umm... Are you... are you okay, Thea? Can we talk-"

"Ruth. I don't want to talk right now. I hope you... understand." Thea's words came monotonously.

Ruth bit the inside of her cheek to control her tears. This tension between them was unbearable for her. She felt as if Thea was avoiding her and somewhere blamed her for whatever happened between her and Rees.

And after all this time, Ruth also started to think the same. She started blaming herself for if she had not mentioned Rees's strange behaviour to Thea then she might have shrugged it off. If she had tried to do something to clear the misunderstandings between them then this day would not have risen.

If only she had not fought with Rees that day then...

The possibilities of if's were huge but the time was gone now. Now Ruth was left with nothing but that unfathomable pit of guilt and pain.

"I am sorry, Thea. I truly am. I hope... I hope that one day... you will be able to forgive me and then we can start afresh. You, me and... Rees. I hope!" Ruth mumbled in a low voice as a tear dropped on her hand.

She instantly hid her face away from her coworkers while they were busy with their works and chattering.

Wiping her eyes she busied herself in the work, unaware of the fact that even she didn't mean her words to get heard by anyone, Thea had already heard them clearly.

The humdrum days felt better than the torturous nights. At least her work and the world made sure to keep Ruth busy and that helped to take her mind away from the things, temporarily. But as soon as she opened the door of her room, the harsh reality hit straight in the face.

That cold feeling of aloneness bit her every cell till she either wailed in pain or turned numb when it grew unbearable. Ruth couldn't believe that a single day turned her world upside down and before she knew it, she had lost every person that she started to consider as hers.

*

*

*

***A little girl of eight years came running to find her mother in the kitchen. Her pretty face was soaked in hot tears.

"Ruth, what happened? Why are you crying my darling?" The woman was surprised to see her little angel with red eyes, hugging her waist.

"Mother, they are bad. They all are bad." She cried burying her face in her mother's dress.

Bertha Moore pulled a little away from her daughter then made her sit. She gave her some water. While Ruth chugged it down, her mother ran her fingers through Ruth's hair with a fond smile on her face.

"Now tell me. Who are the bad people?"

Ruth hiccuped. "They all are. All the kids." She pointed her finger to where the children from their neighbourhood were playing.

Bertha was confused. "Why?"

"Because they don't want me to play with them. I don't like them, mother. I will make new friends when I will grow. But I don't want to play with them." Ruth complained as fresh tears gathered in her hazel eyes.

"Hmm... come with me." Bertha held Ruth's hand and took her outside their small house where the other kids were playing.

The kids stopped running and laughing when they saw the mother and daughter.

Bertha called the kids and asked them. "Is it true that you don't want Ruth to play with you?"

"Yes. We don't want her to play with us." A boy replied.

Turning her face to her daughter she asked, "Did you asked them about the reason?"

Ruth bit the insides of her cheek then shook her head in negation.

"Then ask now."

Hesitantly Ruth asked, "Why d-don't you want to play with me?" Her hazel eyes stared at the kid's faces in curiosity.

"Because you are a slow runner. It is very easy to catch you but then you cry and don't take your turn." Another girl replied.

"But-but, mother, I don't take my turn because they all cheat. They all run faster than me and catch me in no time. They are bad! You all are BAD!" She screamed at the other kids.

Smiling at her daughter's reasoning, Bertha took her hands in hers. "Ruth, don't say that. They are your friends. Now listen to me carefully. If they are at fault then you also are. They are your friends and you should have to trust them. You should have asked them about the reason.

But you didn't. Darling, everyone has their reasons for their actions. Some might feel right to you and some might not. But your understanding of right and wrong is not bound on others.

If you think that someone is wrong then instead of blaming them and calling them bad, first try to understand the reasons for their actions.

Always remember this Ruth, the most difficult yet crucial part of any relationship is trusting that person. Even if you get into a fight with that person don't give up on them easily. Understood?"

"yes, mother." Ruth gave a toothy grin to her mother who ruffled her hair and returned her smile.

Turning to face the kids, Ruth apologised for her behaviour. "I am sorry to call you bad. You all are my friends. I know that I am a slow runner but I will try to run faster and if I get caught then I will take my turn."

"We are also sorry Ruth. We will run slower when we chase you."***

Her mother's absence ate her up more than ever. Ruth missed her mother's kind words, her praises, her touch, her smell, everything. All her heart craved for was to run into her mother's safe arms. But her ill-fated luck didn't allow her.

Suddenly a thought crossed her mind.

'Why didn't I think about that before?'

It had been three years that she had went to visit her mother's grave. Respecting Bertha Moore's request, she was buried in her hometown where she used to live with Ruth.

After her mother's demise, Ruth came to Vincardine on her request and settled here. She kept visiting her mother's grave for some years but then she got engaged in the battle of life and couldn't get enough time and money to visit her mother.

But now that she had a job with a decent income, she decided to ask Mr Cooper for a short leave and go to visit her mother's grave. Maybe her mother's blessings would guide her through the future.