Chapter 66 - Thinking About 2007
Lacy did her best to divert Aaron's attention that day but was ultimately unsuccessful because he was too busy talking business with her father, Brann. Even on a major holiday his head was only filled with numbers.
If not for the fact that holiday tunes played in the background as they ate and the food was the kind that was traditionally served at Christmas dinner, you wouldn't even know this was a Christmas party.
People dressed in black, red, silver, and gold but nothing was overtly Christmassy. Rich people had the strangest standards, bouncing back and forth between excess and subtlety.
The kind of Christmas parties Keeley went to growing up consisted of eggnog and ridiculous headwear like elf hats and reindeer antlers, ugly sweaters and off-tune caroling. This was about as far from that as she could get.
She felt sorry for the caterers and hotel staff, sure that they would much rather be at home spending time with their families than dealing with all these snobby rich people.
Christmas was supposed to be about family! So why had fifty of the Hales' closest friends shown up today?!
"Keeley, where did you get your dress? It's so…unique."
She was the only one wearing floral today but it wasn't unacceptable to do so; she fit the dress code standards.
Most of the older generation wore red or black solids and the younger socialites tended to lean toward glittery silver or gold dresses.
"I'm not sure; Aaron bought it for me."
At that time, she didn't know Lacy was after her man or that this comment would stab her right through the bitter area. She was simply stating a fact.
Unfortunately, Lacy saw this as a challenge. "No wonder it's a bit different. Men will never understand fashion the way women do."
Keeley couldn't think of a response that wouldn't be incredibly rude. She wasn't good at manipulating her words yet since she had only been in the circle since June.
Smiling neutrally and eating another roll was the best solution.
The rest of the dinner went much the same way. She tried to fend off attacks from Lacy and her mother while catering to her own mother-in-law.
Aaron ignored her distress and continued to talk business the entire meal. It was the worst Christmas she had thus far and they would only get worse from there.
Thinking about past Christmases was depressing. Thinking about Aaron period was depressing. Try as she might to live her life properly, he still crept up on her when she least expected it.
She didn't have to worry about him anymore! Why bother thinking about things that were behind her?
Keeley's choices were entirely her own now. She could wear, eat, or do whatever she wanted. She didn't have to cater to his wishes so why couldn't she get him out of her head?
She really hoped the cliché 'time heals all wounds' that people rattle off when relationships go sour would work someday. She didn't want to spend her second chance at life thinking about how badly she screwed up the first.
It had been almost a year and things were so different now. She pulled the blanket over her head as if it could block out her thoughts along with the light.
Weren't holidays always supposed to be rough the first few years after a loss? Her situation wasn't normal but her reaction to it probably was based on that information. Hadn't Christmas been miserable the first few years after losing her mom and Kaleb?
Right now she wasn't mourning losing Aaron—she was mourning losing her entire life to him. She hoped the feelings went away soon. The memories certainly hadn't.
===
Keeley's melancholy didn't completely pass but after Christmas she felt a little better about her outlook on life because it was almost a new year.
New Year's was a time for self-reflection, goal-making, and thinking about the future.
Sure, most people gave up on going to the gym or eating healthier a month into their New Year's Resolutions but so what? It was still a chance to start fresh.
This would be her first year without Aaron in fourteen years. She would spend time with her newfound college friends like Valentina and Ryan, focus on her studies, and experience college the way she wanted to.
She couldn't wait.
Her first run-through of 2007 was consumed entirely by being Aaron's girlfriend.
If she wasn't with him, she was texting him. If she wasn't texting him, she was thinking about him or fantasizing about their happy future together. Some future that turned out to be.
Being a young girl in love could be a terrible thing if you gave your heart and soul to the wrong man. Aaron Hale was definitely the wrong man.
But since she didn't have plans with him this time around and her father had a company party, she took up Jeffrey's invitation to go to a party being held in Times Square so they would be able to see the ball drop at midnight.
Apparently his older brother had some friends back out at the last minute so there were enough tickets for Keeley and Lydia to tag along. Hanging out with friends would be a great way to ring in the New Year.
Keeley had never been to an informal New Year's Eve party before; when she was in high school she always just hung out with her dad watching a program on TV that had musical performances until the ball dropped. Once she was with Aaron, they went to black-tie events every time.
She wasn't quite sure what to wear so she texted Lydia a few different outfit ideas asking for help. Fashion had never exactly been Keeley's forte.
As Aaron's wife, she usually let other people tell her what looked good while they were shopping.
A text came in immediately. 'These are all too blah! We're going to a party in Times Square! Even casual dress needs to have a little more glamor than usual'
Keeley was helpless. 'But this is all I've got'
'Tell you what, why don't you come over to my place? We're about the same size and I have some options that should work better'
So she found herself taking the subway over to Queens.
As she sat, a song that didn't even exist yet got stuck in her head. It was super frustrating because she only knew the chorus and couldn't look up the words or listen to the actual song. It wouldn't be released until 2013.
With a sigh, she pulled out her iPod shuffle and skipped about thirty songs before she found one by the same artist. It would have to do.
There were a lot of annoying things like this since her rebirth: songs she couldn't listen to, movies and TV shows she couldn't watch, and places she couldn't go because they didn't exist yet.
Tomorrow would begin 2007 but she died in 2019; it would be a very long time before the timelines matched up.
Keeley wished she could forget her old life now that she had successfully written herself out of Aaron's world. It would be much easier to forge ahead in her new one if she wasn't bogged down by random memories of what she was missing out on.