Chapter 82 - It's Better Not to Drink Alone
The impact of what she just did fully hit Keeley as she sat through an upper level epigenetics course after Aaron dropped her off.
She spent the night at her ex-husband's ridiculously large multimillion dollar apartment. She was wearing his shirt. Worst of all, she had been nice to him even after he seriously pissed her off.
She accepted his help out of desperation but she definitely should have pushed harder about having him take her home once she felt better. Keeley's head hadn't been in the right place; she let her guard down because she didn't feel well.
Alright, she could admit it: the small part of her that used to desperately wish for Aaron's affection felt validated when he took care of her. In her fevered state, she wanted to enjoy that feeling a little longer.
Keeley was a pretty healthy person; she never caught anything more serious than a cold during the years she spent as Aaron's girlfriend.
It wasn't until they had been married for a little over two years and that near fatal ectopic pregnancy occurred that she had any serious health problems. When that happened, he distanced himself from her shortly after she came home from the hospital.
What was the difference? Why would he be so caring and considerate to an old classmate but hadn't shown even a fraction of that care to his wife who not only lost their first child but also the ability to have any more?
It was absolutely devastating; recovering from the surgery with a husband who was always at work and left her in the care of home nurses was bad enough.
The lack of emotional support during that time truly spelled the death of their marriage. He hadn't been there for her, physically or emotionally.
She had to deal with the fact that she would never be a mother all by herself. The grief consumed her, just as it had when she lost her mother and Kaleb. Not only was most of her family gone, she wouldn't be able to have a new family of her own.
For months she lived in a half-dead state and where was Aaron during all that time? At work.
When he was at home, he didn't say much to her. She wondered if he didn't know how to deal with his own grief but at the very least he should have realized his wife needed him.
Keeley always expected to have kids someday but once she finally recovered enough from her depression to consider adoption, Aaron wouldn't even hear her out on the matter. They argued about it a lot—well, Keeley argued. He stood there and refused to acknowledge her, as if she was air.
Later on, when Lacy started sneaking around with him, Keeley realized why he didn't actually mourn the loss of their child or care that there wouldn't be any more to come.
There was a woman waiting for him who could give him what he wanted. In the end, he got his offspring.
After he married Lacy, her child took the place of Keeley's lost baby as the heir to his empire. She assumed this was why Aaron finally filed for divorce with his useless, broken, unwanted wife in the first place. They had already been estranged for years; he was just waiting for the right moment.
She couldn't ever forgive him for abandoning her during the biggest crisis she experienced since losing her family members, let alone everything that came afterward.
So why? Why did he have to take care of her when she was sick and make her feel like he cared?
Tears filled her eyes and she brushed them away impatiently. Crying in class would not do. What was the professor even saying? She should have been paying better attention.
Pushing conflicting thoughts of Aaron out of her head, she sharpened her focus so she could take at least some notes during this lecture. Unfortunately her concentration problems lasted throughout the rest of the day.
"Hey, are you feeling any better?" Erica asked sympathetically as they slowly and painstakingly entered individual pieces of data concerning the rats into the computer program that would analyze it.
"Yeah, I slept it off after puking my guts out for a few hours. Thanks for covering for me," Keeley said gratefully.
"You would've done the same."
They went quiet after that, focusing on their job. Double, triple, and even quadruple checking the data was essential. If even one piece was wrong, all of the research would be worthless. Now was not the time to be thinking about other things.
Since it was a relatively simple, repetitive task Keeley struggled to keep her thoughts solely on the data. They kept wandering back to her conflicted feelings.
Talking to Aaron like he wasn't the person who destroyed her life had been a mistake. She had to stay on her guard at all times when dealing with him.
He hated her or, perhaps even worse, was completely apathetic to her before. No matter how he acted now, what he did to her would not change.
Wondering what things would have been life if he had been so considerate when they were husband and wife was a pointless exercise. All it did was serve to depress and confuse her.
The past was dead. Aaron wasn't someone to be trusted. It was that simple.
She told herself that over and over but her mood was still rotten by the end of her shift. She bid Erica goodbye and immediately texted her roommates. Keeley really needed a drink and it was better not to drink alone.
'Sorry, I have to cram for a test'
'I'm at rehearsal but otherwise I'd love to'
Of course both of them would be busy. She sighed. There was only one more person she could think of who might be available on short notice. She may as well call him.
"Well if it isn't Keeley Hall, the doctoral student who never has time to hang out anymore," Ryan drawled. "What can I do for you?"
"Are you free right now?"
"I wouldn't have answered the phone if I wasn't."
"Great; I need a drinking buddy. Meet me at the pub on 24th Street in twenty minutes." She hung up the phone before he could respond, knowing he would come.