Chapter 33 - Storms
Chapter 33 – Storms
Chapter 33: Storms
The New Year has come, but nothing has changed.
I am still obsessed with writing. When I couldn’t think of anything, I read <Fugitive>. While I was waiting for the backlash of mistaking Alan and I as lovers, I immersed myself in the mysterious atmosphere of the book, felt the printed letters with my fingertips and put my cheeks on it.
I cried a lot while reading it again. The sad feelings that arose in the process made me more desperate.
It’s a good thing that I could busy myself with writing so I could send it to the academy.
My incident with the prince and my painful thoughts about Alan were slowly fading away. It was still a cold season outside, but spring was also coming gently, just as the new year had changed that I couldn’t realise. With a different complexion. It was comforting even though it was a natural fact.
Alan Leopold hasn’t come to my dream since that dawn. Is it natural that it happens once every few years?
But I was thankful nonetheless. Now, when it is clear that he has come to hate me— him not appearing in my dream was helping me. I didn’t know if Alan would appear in my dream tonight, but if he did, he would despise me and make me cry—how could I hope for him to hug me? And the next morning when I woke up like that, I wouldn’t be able to hold a pen in my hand.
It’s never going to get all right, but I hoped he wouldn’t come to my dream until I become a little more dull.
Anyway, everything was quite smooth. It’s rare these days for me to go out, let alone go to the coffee shop three times a week, but the stalker was also not appearing in my daily life.
Even though Greg had come to our house a few times while I did not go out, there was never a blood-soaked note between the pieces of meat in the box.
Did something happen to the stalker? Or, did he finally get away from me? If it was really like that, there would have been nothing more pleasant than that.
The only worry I have is that Tobias’s letter has never arrived. He would have had more than enough to have arrived in the Principality, settled down and wrote to me by now. Is it because he is busy adjusting? Or is it still on a ship? Or is it lost?
Whatever it was, I had to wait patiently. If there is no reply from me for a long time, Toby is someone who will send me a friendly letter again and again.
The point is, there’s nothing that would break my concentration in any way right now. So, it was the perfect time to write my novel.
“Lady, your friend has come.”
“……Ah.”
I was surprised by Julia’s voice and took in a breath. I can’t believe I was concentrating enough to hold my breath.
I closed my notebook and went down to the first floor, I could see Viola and my mother talking.
“Viola!”
It was fortunate that her face looked better than when I had seen her before.
“Then go upstairs. Let me pick up the tea.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
My mother and Viola, who finished the conversation, looked at me at the same time. Both of them looked like they had a lot to say for some reason.
“…….”
Ah, look at my mind.
I suddenly realized that I didn’t tell the story of Jacob to Viola. I can’t believe I forgot like this.….
I held Viola’s hand and thought all the way up the stairs. It wouldn’t have been too late. When I go into my room, I will talk about Jacob right away.
“Melissa.”
But when Viola, who was holding my hand, looked straight into my eyes, I quickly noticed that there was no need for that.
“I’m getting married.”
To me, who had forgotten to even answer, she continued to speak with a sad smile.
“With Jacob.”
“Viola, actually…”
“I heard you met him.”
“…….”
It was not a tone of blaming at all. Rather, it was surprisingly calm. I clenched my delicate fingertips a little harder and waited for what would follow.
“He said he had the courage to come to me thinking that you had already conveyed your words.”
“Sorry, I should’ve told you right away. Suddenly, the Prin—”
“Don’t apologize, Mel.”
We sat side by side on the bed.
“I got a lot of help from you. You took the time to meet him. I almost couldn’t even hear his sincerity because I was hiding in fear.”
Viola raised her bloodless lips and smiled. It was a tired face, but it was a comfortable smile without any adornment.
“…….”
Obviously, I wanted Jacob to have a chance to convey his sincerity to Viola. Had I not been summoned to the royal palace out of the blue, I would have visited the Graham’s mansion on that day.
But it didn’t mean I was set on the two to be in love with each other again. I just hoped that the end of the two beautiful lovers would not be the worst.
Trapping herself in the room— Viola had said she no more believes in love. Her heartache was so great that she had completely abolished her food and drinks, so her resentment must have been great. However, it was my judgment at the time that the last time with Jacob she wanted could not be in that form.
Moreover, if it’s marriage…….
If my only friend had come to ask for an opinion on this marriage, I would have stopped her without any hesitation.
The second question was whether or not to believe him that he did not even try to make a child, let alone knowing the existence of the child. Rather, the fact that viola, who just became an adult, has to raise a three-year-old child as her own son…….
That’s a ridiculous and harsh thing to do.
But the important thing was that she didn’t come to ask me for advice. Viola, who was still small in stature, was now pitifully thin, but only her eyes were strong.
I couldn’t help but realize how firm her resolve was.
“Viola.”
So, I guess it’s already too late to change her mind with my few words of worry or nagging.
“Are you sure you’re okay? Did you forgive him for everything?”
“Melissa, I thought a lot.”
“…….”
“No matter what the past was, I knew his sincerity toward me remained unchanged. Me too… I don’t want to deny the time and feelings I had for him.”
I tried to say anything, but I was choked by the determined gaze.
“There will be no one in my life who will love me this much again…….”
“…….”
I thought for a moment about what to say. Whatever choice Viola makes, it’s up to her. that I can neither take responsibility nor replace. But
“Viola, just in case…….”
I only really hope for her happiness. Although it is not a marriage full of unhappiness and wounds forced by the eyes of society.
“That wasn’t the only option, was it? Not your doctor…….”
(T/N: she’s asking if she is pregnant)
Viola with a faint smile shook her head weakly.
“It’s my decision. There was also the will of my family, but I……I love Jacob.”
“I’m glad to hear that…….”
Viola added to me, who still looked gloomy. As if she was trying to make me feel relieved.
“I’ve heard all the past stories. He was just a little unlucky……. Life is originally full of trials, Mel.”
“…….”
“As you live your life, you will come across a number of harsher winds and waves than this, but…… If you can overcome it with someone you love, that’s really…….”
Viola’s voice became a little lower and firmer than I remembered. Viola was more determined than anyone else when it comes to confident things. I’ve always envied her for that.
“Then the child…….”
“I’m going to raise him.”
I was just staring helplessly at Viola’s eyes which were gently getting wet.
“I’m scared too, Mel. Everything… I’m afraid…… Because it’s his child.”
“…….”
“So… I’ll try to love him. Now I’m going to be the mother of that child.….”
So congratulate me, okay? Viola whispered, burying her head on my shoulder.
I hugged her dry shoulders with trembling hands.
* * *
It was my first time visiting Piccom. My friend’s wedding was held just a week after she visited my house.
It was an excruciatingly cold day. It was brief, but it snowed.
The two, who became a couple with a sacred declaration, went down the stairs of the cathedral with excited steps. The guests standing next to me applauded or threw petals and watched them.
Viola, wearing a white wedding dress and a wreath woven with flowers, was trembling. She was smiling, but the tip of her nose was red. Her hand on Jacob’s reliable arm looked exceptionally small.
“Melissa.”
My mother once again poked my side with her elbow. It was because it’s rude to cry like that at the wedding of a close friend. I didn’t even know why I was crying so much.
“Are you still crying?”
After the wedding and before returning to the capital, Viola, whose eyes were dyed red, approached with a clear face, pretending to be calm. We shared a friendly hug.
“I’ve lived in Florin all my life. Piccom doesn’t have mom and dad…….”
She soothed me, saying she would go play often, but I was not young enough to not know how far away a married woman was from freedom here in Sourne. It would have been the same with Viola.
When I returned to the capital, I felt strangely alone. It’s not like I don’t have a family.
We knew for sure that one day we would get married and end up parting our ways. So I thought it would be fine.… But I didn’t know that day would come so soon.
As I followed my mother into the house full of the winter breeze, Mrs Kerney and Julia took turns hugging me.
I didn’t want to believe that our girl days were over. My eyelids were heavy and painful. Am I still crying?
“It’s okay, Melissa.”
Mrs. Kearney, the gentle madam, said a friendly word on behalf of my mother.
“Your friend will live well. You can visit her whenever you miss me. As long as it’s alive.”
“…..That’s right, madam.”
I replied, wiping my tears with my sleeves. As Viola said, this will also be one of many storms in life. I suddenly thought that becoming an adult would be a process of getting used to the constantly rushing currents of life.
Since then, there have been many days when I shed tears for no reason. Even though I’m not alone, I feel like I’m completely alone.
I tried to focus more on writing my novel. I also have to move on. After making up my mind like that, I wasn’t as lonely as I thought. I was deeply immersed in that artificial and cozy peace.
Unfortunately, my simple daily life did not last long.