Chapter 81
Chapter 81
Gutting the Heart (1)
Outside the window, the night was heavy with evening mist; the night watchman struck his clapper.
“The weather is dry, be careful with fire and candles; the weather is dry, be careful with fire and candles…”
The moon slipped behind the clouds; candlelight masked Cui Wang’s face, and Zheng Wan was unable to clearly discern it at the moment. She could only see that under his straight nose, a pair of thin lips were tightly pursed.
It is said that people with thin lips were the most inconstant in love, but what Zheng Wan could recall was mostly the temperature of those lips—they were ice cold, and had to be rubbed for a long time before attaining a little bit of heat.
“Zheng Wan, you can go now.”
Cui Wang suddenly lost interest in listening to her arguments, feeling that everything was meaningless. A wind rose from his sleeves, and the door to the study creaked open.
“Please.”
“No, I won’t leave.”
Suddenly, Zheng Wan had a feeling that if she left now, she would never be able to set foot in the State Preceptor’s residence again.
She took a few quick steps, hugged Cui Wang, wrapping her arms tightly around him, shook her head and said:
“Cui Wang, I’m not leaving.”
She looked up, her face already full of tears, “Cui Wang, don’t chase me out, I won’t go. I am true to you, believe me…
“My feelings for you are genuinely sincere.”
Zheng Wan murmured.
“Sincere?”
Cui Wang stood rooted in place. He only felt that this mortal night was nothing different; it was still cold when it should be cold, but it was still too filthy after all. “Where do these sincere feelings come from?”
“……You saved me from falling into the water in front of Lisi Springs, and you played the accompaniment for me on the marble boat. At that time, you were not the State Preceptor, but I already admired you. Later, you became the State Preceptor,” Zheng Wan paused. “I was happy that you are the State Preceptor, because the person I like is the one I was about to please. But I also hate that you are the State Preceptor, because from then on, my feelings of adoration for you had to be mixed with exploitation and ingratiation.
“But in the transient realm, you insisted on taking me down the cliff in spite of how dangerous it was, and also saved me from the wolves…… You were so good to me, how could I not be moved, and not fall for you?”
Zheng Wan lowered her voice, “At that time, I was sincere.”
“So, when I was exhausted from killing the wolves, you were also sincere when you lunged towards me?”
Cui Wang asked indifferently.
“Yes! Of course!”
There was an eagerness in her eyes that she herself wasn’t aware of, as if she were a child trying to prove herself to a respected adult. “At that time, I just wanted to catch you. Cui Wang, I even broke my arms, and it hurt so much.”
“Zheng Wan, stop lying.”
Cui Wang peeled off her fingers one by one, but Zheng Wan grabbed him and quickly latched on. She shook her head, tears flowing uncontrollably, “Cui Wang, believe me, I’m not lying.
“I really only wanted to save you at that time,” she said obstinately.
“Then, when that teleportation formation launched towards me, and you suffered the pain of a multitude of arrows through your body on my behalf, was that also to save me?
“Say it to this.”
With a wave of the sleeve, a familiar jade-green plant fell to the ground, growing the instant it met the wind. In a short while, it had grown to a person’s height, stretching and extending until a vermilion fruit had grown right at the top.
“Say it!”
Zheng Wan was stunned, momentarily unable to speak.
She had thought that this was a divine object, and since she had not seen Cui Wang use it again after using it back then, she thought he didn’t have it anymore. She never thought that he would still have one more, and was even using it on her at this critical juncture.
“Granny Jin, Granny Jin, hurry, help me.”
Granny Jin came out slowly; upon seeing this, she only said:
“This child’s state of mind is turbulent. With the power of my soul, it might be possible to keep it from him.”
“Say it.”
Just as Zheng Wan opened her mouth to reply, she saw Cui Wang lift his sleeve and flick out a purple thunderbolt. That thunderbolt suddenly shot out, scorching the jade-green plant black, instantly turning the vermilion fruit into ashes.
“Cui Wang! I haven’t answered yet.”
“I will answer for you.”
Cui Wang said slowly, “You made a gamble with your life so as to take advantage of the moment when I let my guard down, and plant a gu in my body. Truly, such a good scheme, and what decisive resolve.”
There was a huge quake in Zheng Wan’s heart; he actually knew?!
When did he know?
She raised her head; tears streamed down her face, and her vision was blurry with tears, “Cui Wang, Cui Wang…… it’s just that I love you so much, I did everything I could and also risked my life just so I could make you like me, if only a little. I don’t want to share you with anyone……
“……Cui Wang, believe me……” Zheng Wan stood on tiptoe, wrapped her hands around his neck and pressed her face to his. She used her lips to touch his lips, cheeks, and eyes. “Cui Wang, I adore you, love you, respect you, I cannot live without you……”
Tears wet the lapels of Cui Wang’s robes; he could feel the dampness where they were pressed against each other.
Her tears kept rolling down, wetting the corners of his lips, his cheeks, then finally sliding beneath his lapels. She kissed him in a chaotic, unruly manner, her entire body trembling slightly, desperate and fearful, like a desperate elk in front of a hunter, trying to impress him with the last little thing.