Am I A God?

“Hey, Matcha, you wanted to buy a Mobile Legends skin, didn’t you? I’ll give you the hundred dollars you need.”

Zhao Yao was testing the waters. He needed to gauge the true depth of the cat’s despair.

Matcha ambled forward, then collapsed onto Zhao Yao’s hand.

“What’s the point?” he responded lifelessly, “I’ll get owned anyway. People will just say that all I have are skins, not skills.”

“Well, at least you’ll look awesome. A good skin can strengthen your hero’s powers too.”

“Forget it,” Matcha lamented, “Useless cats like me have no place in the game. I’m just an easy target for raising the enemy’s kill count.”

“Hmm,” Zhao Yao thought, “This is more serious than I expected.”

There was a glint in his eye.

“I’ll have no choice but to unleash my ultimate skill if this continues tomorrow.”

Unfortunately, before the next day could come, Zhao Yao was faced with another problem.

It took the form of snores that thundered through the house in the dead of night. They were so loud that the floors started shaking.

ZzzzZzz…hngrRRr…hmphNGork…

Zhao Yao refused to get up. He was dog tired. He threw the blanket over his head and dug deeper into the sheets, willing himself to fall back asleep.

It took 30 minutes for him to give up.

He shuffled into the living room, cursing, “Christ, who’s snoring like that?! How can anyone be so utterly inconsiderate?”

Hideous dark circles had appeared under his partially opened eyes.

When he entered the living room, he spotted Elizabeth, Roly Poly, and Dust Ball crowding around a sleeping Rice Cake. The Scottish fold was blissfully oblivious. She remained fast asleep, snoring like a rhino with a congested nose.

Zhao Yao’s eyes flew open in alarm when he realized that the three cats were not just watching her.

They were taking action.

Elizabeth’s eyes glowed red as she compelled Rice Cake to hit herself in the head multiple times. This stopped the snoring for just a moment before it commenced again with gusto.

This prompted Roly Poly to step up. He leaped forward, then sat on Rice Cake’s face.

The three waited with bated breath to see if it worked.

“Is it over?”

Just as they heaved a collective sigh of relief, an even more terrible sound was heard.

Roly Poly’s butt started vibrating, followed by the rest of his body. When he opened his mouth, what sounded like the loud revving of an engine filled the air.

“That’s it, I’ve had enough!” Dust Ball cried.

She lunged towards the unsuspecting Rice Cake, mouth wide open, revealing a row of sharp teeth. It seemed like she intended to bite the Scottish fold’s head off.

“Stop!” Zhao Yao activated Timefreeze to prevent a bloody tragedy from unfolding.

“Have you all forgotten this fella is capable of creating earthquakes?” he chided, “If we hurt her, the building might just collapse. We could’ve killed tons of people, including ourselves.”

He took a look at Rice Cake, who was still sound asleep.

“Thank God she sleeps like a log. I don’t think she’ll be too happy if we wake her,” he thought.

“What are we supposed to do? She gets noisier by the day. I doubt we’ll be getting any sleep tonight,” Elizabeth said, brows furrowed.

“I’ll think of something,” Zhao Yao responded.

He cradled Rice Cake in his arms, then started stroking her from nose to tail. This did nothing to lower the intensity of her snores.

He laughed awkwardly as Elizabeth, Roly Poly, and Dust Ball glared at him.

“Hmm…she has been sleeping for longer hours and snoring more and more loudly,” he mused, “The earthquakes…are they created through vibrations in the air? Are they formed by a stronger version of the tremors we feel now?”

He took another look at Rice Cake. The pieces in his mind suddenly clicked together. He nodded.

“Her meows and growls have always been much louder than a normal cat’s. Maybe generating earthquakes is just a by-product of her power. Her true ability is to cause powerful vibrations. The vibrations and snores could have been amplified because they created a resonance with Elizabeth’s Celestial Beats. And maybe she’s resting more because it helps her to use these vibrations as a form of therapy for her disease.”

Zhao Yao shook his head rapidly as his thoughts started spiraling deeper. He had to deal with the matter at hand first.

“If she continues snoring like that, the cats are going to kill her,” he thought.

Zhao Yao stared at the cat he was holding.

“To think I thought she was abandoned because of her osteodystrophy. Turns out it’s this monstrous snoring all along.”

He turned to Dust Ball.

“I guess we’ll have to coax her into the extradimensional belly. C’mon, open it up. I’ll wake her,” he instructed.

Zhao Yao then flicked Rice Cake’s forehead gently. He wanted to wake her but was afraid that anything too sudden or painful would frighten her and ignite an earthquake in response.

His worry turned out to be unfounded because Rice Cake remained in a deep slumber.

“Why are you being so gentle! She’s a cat, not your dick,” Dust Ball complained, “Move.”

She jumped forward, landing right in front of Rice Cake. She raised one forepaw and smashed it against the Scottish fold’s face repeatedly.

“You piece of s**t!” she cried, “Why can’t you just sleep quietly like a normal cat?! You better wake up right now!”

Zhao Yao tensed when he witnessed Dust Ball’s outburst. His eyes darted to Rice Ball, who continued sleeping, her face now marred by the angry cat’s dirty paw prints.

“Let me go!” Dust Ball hissed, “I’ll kick her until she wakes up! Don’t get in my way!”

Zhao Yao held Dust Ball by the scruff of her neck. She persisted in kicking and punching the air like a crazy drunk.

“Have you secretly eaten catmint?”

“What are you talking about? Of course I have not!” Dust Ball responded.

The mere mention of catmint, however, had caused her to twitch and drool slightly.

“I’ve not secretly eaten any! I’m perfectly sober and I’m ready to teach this idiot who’s boss!”

Zhao Yao knew he had to subdue the hysterical cat. He put one finger to his temple and activated Elizabeth’s power to control her. She fell limp.

He then looked up to find that Rice Cake had disappeared.

“Has she awoken?” he wondered.

This was immediately proven unlikely because he could still pick up a steady wave of snores. He moved his gaze across the room, following the direction the sounds were coming from.

Eventually, he was met with the sight of Roly Poly dumping Rice Cake into the rubbish bin. The fat cat then tied the ends of the black plastic bag together, sealing it shut.

“Goddammit, Roly Poly, I’m going to kill you.”

Once he sensed the murderous aura Zhao Yao was emitting, he immediately fell to the ground in surrender.

“It wasn’t me! It wasn’t me!” Roly Poly repeated, shaking in fear.

Elizabeth, who had been sitting at a distance, pursed her lips. The red glow in her eyes started fading.

“It’s not like we really threw her away,” she muttered.

“Alright guys, that’s enough,” Zhao Yao said, scooping both Elizabeth and Roly Poly in his arms.

He compelled Dust Ball to walk towards the furthest corner of the living room.

“I’ll come up with a solution. Just stop meddling, please. If we piss Rice Cake off, she might set off another earthquake,” he warned.