Atelier Tanaka

Book 6: Chapter 6 (4)

Aufschnaiter Family

The airship continued on its steady pace, paying no mind to the panicked thoughts racing through my mind.

Our journey to the Penny Empire began three days prior.

The Penny Empire was drawing closer with each day that passed and we had already entered into the Pussy Republic. Once we pass through here, we’ll arrive back in the Penny Empire. First, however, we should be able to see the territory of Baron Tanaka.

I asked the captain about our route just to be sure.

My thoughts were still consumed by what I did to my girlfriend, but the thought of seeing my home provided a momentary relief.

“….”

After learning about the pendant’s owner I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. My guilty conscience won’t let me rest.

The sky pirates that attacked us on the way to Academy City belonged to the Aufschnaiter family. Maybe it was just the captain that was a member, but no matter the case, I have to assume my low LUC is responsible. I should’ve been more concerned with my LUC stat before it got this bad.

Honestly, those with high LUC and every other stat low may have a better life than I do.

Based on recent events, I’d have to assume as much.

“…what am I going to do?”

I sat alone in my cabin and wondered how to proceed.

This isn’t just my problem either.

This will affect the JC and our relationship.

And it’s not just us. The JC isn’t the only living member of the Aufschnaiter family that I know. Of course, I’m talking about none other than my acting Knight Commander, Gon-chan. I’ve left him to help manage Dragon City while I’m gone.

This mistake could pose a threat to the smooth operation of Dragon City.

“….”

I don’t see any other choice.

I can’t let things stay like this.

I have to be honest.

I can’t keep such a big secret from two people that are so close to me. I could still have over a million hairs on my head, but I’d be bald by the end of the week if I kept it hidden. I’ve already noticed how quickly the rate of my hair loss has increased.

Every morning, I wake up and I’m greeted by several new hairs on my sheets.

“…I just have to do it.”

I’ll tell them everything. I won’t keep it a secret anymore.

After it’s all out, I’ll go on a long trip with Goggoru-chan.

A trip with no set destination in mind.

That will be the only choice left to me.

It was as I was thinking this that –

“O-Oi! Ossan!”

“Eh!?”

Her words were followed by a knock on my door. No matter how many years pass, I’ll never forget that voice. The voice of my first, beloved girlfriend. It’s depressing to think it will only last a few more days.

I hoped to at least have sex with her before she realized her mistake.

“Aufschnaiter-san? What do you need?”

I considered hiding from her, but I decided against it.

I turned the doorknob and stood eye-to-eye with the girl I was afraid to face.

“There’s something down on the ground that looks like a crashed airship!”

“….”

Oi, oi, oi, this can’t be happening.

I wanted to use the rest of the trip to prepare my mind. I already knew what she was talking about without even seeing the wreckage. My girlfriend’s late brother’s airship that had been shot out of the sky by one of my fireballs.

“It’s hard to make anything out from up here, but it looks like it happened recently. I thought it might be a good idea to let the captain know.”

“Right, thank you for coming down here to let me know.”

“Ah, no, i-it’s not a big deal. I just thought you should know about something like this, Ossan….”

She spoke casually while gesturing with her hands and avoiding making eye contact with me.

The embarrassment the JC shows when being praised is cute.

However, with the thoughts weighing heavy on my mind, I can’t bring myself to fully enjoy it.

“It was good of you to do that, but it wasn’t necessary this time.”

“Eh, it wasn’t? Is it common….?”

I just wanted to have sex at least once.

We could’ve spent the entire trip back together. Sweet days spent with my new girlfriend. I think this is called the ‘honeymoon’ phase. I was so close to finally being able to collect on the debt of my lost youth.

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

“Eh?”

However, this cruel world could never allow this.

It has to be done.

I have to face it head on.

I’ve come to expect this of the world and almost fooled myself into thinking it could be different this time.

“There’s something I need to tell you. Aufschnaiter-san, I should have told you earlier, and I’m sorry that I didn’t, but I need you to stay calm and listen to me until I finish.”

“W-Why are you getting so serious…?”

The  JC’s casual facade faded as her face tensed up.

This will probably be the last time we can talk. I need to savour these last moments. I’m ready. I knew this was my fate; as it is the fate of all busamen. I’m ready to face my virgin destiny and I have nobody to blame but myself.

I’ll proudly accept it. Allow myself to grieve, and finally, reflect and grow from it.

Goodbye sex.

“It concerns your family.”

“My family?”

“That’s right.”

Hearing the word ‘family’ caused another change in my girlfriend’s expression. The Aufschnaiter name still means so much to her. This made me acutely aware of what I had unknowingly done to her.

I’ll tell her everything.

I’ll confess the sin that shall sentence me to virgin hell.

“The airship you saw was one I destroyed on the way to Academy City.”

“Eh? S-So you did that, Ossan?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, but what does that have to do with my family?”

The JC tilted her head as she questioned me.

But the JC is a curious girl and she wasn’t finished yet.

“Ah, I think I know what happened. I remember other noblemen and the captain talking back at the landing port. The sky pirates have grown in numbers and confidence recently.”

“That is true.”

“Oooh, you really are amazing, Ossan! How did you take down an airship on your own!? It must have been with that huge flare lance you used back in Academy City! Or was it some other type of magic!?”

My girlfriend got excited when she thought about the types of magic I might know that could be capable of taking out an airship.

I’ll let that excitement live on for at least a few moments.

“It was something similar.”

Still, what does any of this have to do with my family?”

I guess my stiff expression was enough to tell her this wasn’t anything to get excited about. The JC is such a good girl. Now that she’s no longer closed off to me, she wears her emotions on her sleeve. She’ll make a good wife for some lucky man in the future. I hoped that it would be my ‘juice’ that would make her stomach swell.

“The man that captained that ship was your lost brother.”

“…eh?”

“Your beloved brother, Rock, was aboard that ship when it crashed and he is no longer with us.”

I didn’t even give her time to process.

I needed to get it out as quickly as possible.

“I…killed him.”

“Wha–!?”

The JC froze in place.

***

For such a complicated matter, it didn’t take long to explain.

I was attacked, I responded, and this led to Rock’s death. I simply stated the facts. The entire fight lasted only a few minutes. His airship plummeted to the ground and I left it there without a second thought.

The JC remained silent as I explained myself.

She never said a word.

Her face was an emotionless mask.

“…w-what the hell…. How is this….”

“I’m so sorry.”

Now isn’t the time to tell her about Gon-chan. She has enough to process as it is without learning of another surviving member of her family. According to the JC, this Rock was the person she looked up to the most.

“This can’t…be happening….”

“….”

The inconsolable look on the JC’s face broke my heart.

She became a top student at Academy City after dreaming of following in her brother’s footsteps. She thought she lost everyone she loved before falling into a rut. Even so, she never lost her passion. She always worked to better herself, but also closed herself off from the world. Now that she’s finally starting to open up again, I’ll be the reason she becomes  NEET once more.

There’s only one choice left for me.

As the one responsible for the death of her brother, someone that she had deep respect for, I must set her on the right path.

A path that leads to a brighter future.

One that makes her happy.

“….”

“….”

No, no, no, I have no place in her future.

Our relationship was over the moment I decided to be honest.

Still, I feel the need to keep going.

“I killed your brother, Aufschnaiter-san.”

“….”

I can’t tell what she’s thinking. I think this would be easier if she’d just yell at me or hit me. Even if she broke down in tears, this would be easier.

But she’s just silently standing there, barely moving at all.

Edita Sensei, save me.

“Then, my brother, Rock ni-san is….”

“The situation your family faced was unimaginable. Those that survived it were left with nothing and it’s understandable why he would turn to piracy. That being said, there is no one to blame for his death but me. I chose to attack the ship without ever giving them a chance to surrender. I could have spoken to him and learned of his circumstances and maybe offered him a second chance. I won’t hide anything from you. I want you to know everything.”

I hit her head-on with the truth once more.

Tears filled the JC’s eyes as they slowly started streaming down her cheek.

“I can say that your brother was a skilled captain and fought bravely to the end. We’re on one of the most advanced airships owned by a powerful nobleman of the Penny Empire. This incredible ship is captained by a skilled pilot that couldn’t stop commenting on the talent shown by the sky pirate captain as he attacked us.”

My mouth started moving on its own and I started embellishing some of the facts. This was mainly due to my many years working as a salaryman. It was embellished but not a lie. The captain of this ship would have been chosen by Richard directly. The captain should be a good judge of ability and there would be no reason for him to lie.

“T-Then…then, Rock ni-san is….”

“I’ll say it again: I killed him.”

None of that matters now.

People don’t come back from the dead.

“Your brother’s blood is on my hands.”

“….”

“Do you hate me? I wouldn’t blame you.”

I have to do it.

We might not have a future together, but I can give her something that allows her to go on.

“If you want to hate me, I won’t try to change your mind. Direct all of your anger, frustration, sadness and whatever else you’re feeling at me. I’ll take it all. Because I am the strongest alchemist who surpasses even your brother.”

The short-lived relationship we had of boyfriend and girlfriend is gone.

I’ve become more of a mentor to the protagonist, but I’m hated by her.

A relationship like that is impossible.

A relationship of any kind is impossible.

The moment she leaves will be the last time I ever see her.

But I’ll accept that. I have no choice.

I’m the only one to blame.

“Then, t-the reason you got close to me….”

“No, please, don’t misunderstand that. The Aufschnaiter family is amazing but your family name had nothing to with any of this.”

“….”

I was desperately trying to salvage whatever I could from our relationship. I hoped that this wouldn’t be the end of everything and decided to give the JC a straightforward explanation. Understandably, the JC felt betrayed and began questioning every other aspect of our relationship. I don’t see that train of thought leading to anywhere good for me.

I can’t try and convince her that all of this wasn’t part of some plan to trick her into marrying me. Even now, I’m fighting against the part of me that wants to look at her exposed thighs beneath the hem of her skirt.

“….”

I can’t think of anything else to say.

And she won’t say anything either.

A few more moments of silence passed before her expression changed.

There was a brief look of disgust, followed by anger. Before she turned away, I thought I saw a hint of regret. She ran down the hall and left me standing, speechless in my doorway.

“….”

I couldn’t even chase after her. It wasn’t my palace. The pain I felt in my chest was indescribable. It was worse than any physical pain I’d ever felt. I doubled over with my hands on my knees. I don’t know how to describe it, but it feels like there is no greater sin than being human.

“…that’s it.”

My short-lived romance is over.

The first time I’ve been in love since I was born.

I never expected it to last only a few days.

Nor did I expect it to leave such a bad taste in my mouth.

“It’s been a while since I’ve had a drink.”

Luckily, this ship is fully stocked with high quality liquor. I’ve already got Richard’s permission too. I’ll tell him that Drill-chan drank the entire ship dry and let myself go. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Rather, my only idea.

I let my body move on autopilot and I poured myself a drink without even realizing it.

This would’ve been so much easier if she rejected me because of my ugly face.

***