Chapter 334 A Horrifying Thought
Chapter 334 A Horrifying Thought
Finally, something good was happening. However, that made this situation a little hard for me. I mean, as tears were falling down her tears it was getting even troublesome for me to stop myself from breaking out into a grin.
When I realized what this could mean I forgot about all the pain I was feeling. Instead, all these new possibilities opened up in my brains and I started running simulations of the possible future.
With this, things would get a lot easier for me. Or well, more like I'd have one less thing to worry about. But to get that I had to act right now, and thus I did.
Ignoring all the pain and wounds, I sat up straight and faced Req. Her face was directly in front of me, this was the first time I'd seen her cry and at this moment she looked just like a normal girl.
'Well, it would be beneficial if her heart worked the same too.'
I leaned forward and hugged her, gently embracing her in my arms. Of course, this resulted in an extreme flash of pain due to the wound near my stomach but I paid no attention to it.
"It's alright, whatever happened was not your fault," I said while hugging her.
"N-No…it's always because of me. If only I could control myself more, I would be able to protect you. But I can't…even though I want to, my body…just goes into battle mode and then I don't care about anything other than fighting," she said while sobbing.
She wrapped her arms around me, holding me in her grip as she leaned her head on my chest.
"It is not your fault Req. Anyone would be in the same position if they went through what you did. It's not your fault that you are like this, so you don't need to feel guilty about it," I said while I rubbed her head like a dog.
"S-Still…" she said, gasping for air. "Even if that is true…I failed to protect you nonetheless. Nothing changes the fact that if I had been even a second late, you would have died. I…would have lost you."
"You are right. However, you were not late. You managed to save my life even if that was at the last second. It's thanks to you that I'm here and alive," I said.
"And I'm sure, you will protect me in the future as well. I…" a small smirk appeared on my face, "...trust you, Req."
I had no idea why I hadn't noticed it before. Perhaps because I never considered the possibility of something like this. I mean, I was always suspicious of people so I never thought about this but.
This girl Req, she was genuinely hurt because she couldn't protect me. She went through all that time living in a world painted with war and survived it without complaining, yet she was crying because she couldn't protect me.
This couldn't have been more perfect for me. Until now, whenever I planned a future move I always had to take into account the possibility that she might betray me or turn against me, therefore I always kept a backup plan in case that turned out to be true.
That was also the reason I didn't rely on her that much, but now that I had seen what her true feelings were. I could use her more efficiently.
Of course, there was the possibility that I was completely wrong and that she was faking all this just to win my trust, however, that was fine too.
If it was my trust that she wanted then I was ready to give it to her, if it was my affection she wanted I was ready to give it to her. This was a big gamble, but it was worth every single penny.
"Don't cry, Req," I said.
She sobbed but then leaned back. Her face was a mess of tears as she looked at me and then shifted her gaze toward the wound on my stomach.
"Will you forgive me for this time? I promise…I won't let you get harmed ever again," she said, her voice cracking due to all the crying.
To be honest, in the post-calamity world, there was nothing better I could ask for.
"Hah, of course, I forgive you. I never blamed you for it, to begin with. There shouldn't be a need for you to ask a question such as that," I said.
"Really?" she asked, looking directly at me. Her eyes were glittery with all the tears.
I didn't want to leave any doubt in her mind. I wanted to believe that I trusted her completely. Therefore what I was going to do next, I counted it as insurance.
"Of course," I said.
Then I leaned forward closer to her face, went ahead, and kissed her. As her lips met mine I was able to see a slightly surprised look on her face, although that didn't last very long and her eyes turned relaxed.
I originally planned to just kiss her on the lips and then back off, however just as I was planning to do that she held me in her arms tightly and pushed forward, sliding her tongue into my mouth.
To be honest, I was the fool for thinking that she'd let me back off. Hence for the next five minutes or so she kissed me passionately.
Perhaps this was her way of dealing with the pain she was feeling, or maybe she was just horny. In this case, I had no clue.
But I had achieved what I wanted, thus I paid it no mind. This kiss was the final move I needed to play. With that done I had won this game.
Her heart was now mine.
'And here I was thinking that I was changing,' I thought to myself. I was still a filthy excuse for a human being.
However, just then a horrifying thought occurred to me.
What if everything I did was because I genuinely didn't want to see Req crying, and the part about manipulating her to protect me was just an excuse I gave to none other than myself? What if I was not manipulating Req, but myself?
That was a scary thought, I didn't want to believe it at all. Therefore I discarded it immediately and decided not to think about this again.