Chapter 164 - Prove Yourself
Chapter 164 – Prove Yourself
I took the long route on my way back, letting the cold wind clear my head as I slowly trod the snow-laden paths.
The series of shocking news from the month before must've helped me build my resilience. After finding out that I was a dead person reincarnated with a different soul, it wasn't too hard anymore to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't even a "person". As unbelievable as everything Teng Yuan told me today was, I managed to take it almost calmly, and my mind even stayed clear enough to think all of it through—no wonder Bai Ye was so hesitant to give me Twin Stars at first; no wonder my soul had no past cycles of life; no wonder the sorrowful look in his eyes that he always tried to hide from me …
My questions had finally been answered. The visit today would have eased all my worries for the past month and brightened my day … if not for the revelation that I was the one who ended so many lives.
And was that really the reason why Bai Ye chose to tell me only part of the story in that crystal orb?
It didn't seem to be. If he was only concerned about those things Teng Yuan mentioned, he could've simply not told me anything at all. I already stopped using Twin Stars, and I had told him that I didn't need to know any more of its past. On the other hand, if he decided that I had the right to know about myself, then he should've told me what Teng Yuan just did and given me a chance to repent for what I had done before. I wasn't such a wimp that I couldn't face reality the way it was, and I wouldn't be so careless as to spread the secret to everyone else.
But instead, he chose to tell me a partial truth so misleading that, if not for Su Nian's surprise visit and what I accidentally learned at my village before, I would've been led into believing that everything was a result of his betrayal. Why? Why did he do something like this to intentionally hurt my feelings and make me doubt him?
I gritted my teeth. He still owed me an answer to that question, and I wouldn't let him get out of this easily when he comes out of his retreat. I'd make him explain, apologize, and make it up to me for being so idiotic. But for now, I had more important things to do—and my own atonements to make.
~ ~
I woke up the next morning to the first ray of sun. Azure Dragon Palace was far to the south, and I wanted to make sure there would be enough time to get my answers.
As one of the few sects focusing on visions and soul power, Azure Dragon Palace barely looked like a cultivation place at all. In order to keep the surroundings quiet and pure for meditation, the whole area was built like a beautiful garden tucked in a lush valley, decorated with countless ponds and waterfalls. Small buildings dotted the meadows, and the front gate was a huge arch of oak grove, still dense with leaves under the warm southern sun.
I approached the gate and rang the large bell hanging between the first pair of trees. "Mount Hua disciple Yun Qing-er," I called, knowing that there must be a water mirror somewhere nearby, "seeking Master Luo Ji."
Luo Ji was the master that held the lesson I attended at Jade Temple. It was the only name I knew of at Azure Dragon Palace. Even though I was quite certain he wouldn't remember me, it was the only way I could think of to get someone's attention.
I let out a sigh of relief when I saw a disciple appearing from behind a tree and coming to receive me at the gate. "I'm here with a question on afterlives," I said after exchanging a bow in greeting. "Related to … souls that can't enter the cycle of rebirths for certain reasons, and—"
"Follow me, please." The disciple smiled and stretched out an arm, gesturing for me to walk with him. I was slightly surprised that he didn't need to hear my reason for the visit, but I followed him immediately. Rounding a few houses on the way, he led me through the meadow and into a pavilion by the water.
"Azure Dragon Palace welcomes all daoist friends," the disciple smiled again and said when I stared blankly into the empty room, "and we do our best to answer all their questions, with only one condition: our visitors need to prove themselves worthy of our attention."
I blinked. "There is … a test?" I asked. I had heard of such rules at certain sects before, though they usually came in the form of competitions or challenges, and I hadn't expected to see one at a sect that didn't focus on swords. "I haven't trained on visions or any similar art," I admitted a bit hesitantly. "I can only fight with a sword …"
"The ability to kill is not what we seek." The disciple shook his head. "You come for an answer, so we will only ask that you have the courage to face what you will learn, and that you will do the right thing with the power of this knowledge."
The way he phrased this wasn't straightforward at all. "H-How can I show these?" I asked in confusion. "If I don't know what the answer is … how can I prove that I can face it and do the right thing with it?"
The disciple gestured for me to sit down. Raising his hand, he uttered a spell under his breath, and a twirl of golden light rose from his palm. "This is a vision that will show you the deepest fear in your heart," he said. "Look into the light whenever you are ready. We will be watching over you, and Master Luo Ji will decide if he is willing to speak with you based on your response."
The golden light levitated from his hand, drifting towards me. The way the spiritual power circled in the shape of a sphere reminded me of that crystal Bai Ye gave me, and I winced. The deepest fear in my heart … I wouldn't be surprised at all if it turned out to be related to Twin Stars. But that was what I was here for, and what they were asking was only fair—if I wanted to make things right, then showing that I had the determination to face the consequences was the least I could do.
I took a deep breath, and I looked into the light.