Chapter 183 - Forgiven
Chapter 183 – Forgiven
[ NOTE: The second half of the last chapter has been rewritten and updated. If the version you read yesterday didn't mention the kiss under the plum tree, please swipe down to refresh. Due to plot changes, the old version won't flow correctly into this chapter.
I know I've done late edits like this a few times in the past already … and I sincerely apologize if this is disruptive to your reading experience. Please trust me that I'm trying my best to make sure this doesn't keep happening! Thank you so much for your patience and understanding <3 ]
————–
Burying my face into his hair, I felt his slight tremble. "Qing-er," he said after a long silence. "You are still young, and there are still hundreds of years ahead of you. You might believe what you say at the moment … but with time, you'll come to understand. Memories fade, and nothing in our lives is truly irreplaceable."
I shook my head. "Tell that to yourself," I argued. "What have you been doing for the past two hundred and fifty years? Have you found someone to replace me after all this time?"
He quieted then, and I tightened my arms around him a little. "You are the one that refuses to understand, Bai Ye," I continued. "You don't understand why you mean so much to me, because you don't understand who I am. You think that as the sword spirit, I still hate you, and as Yun Qing-er, I'm too naive to realize that my feelings for you are only an infatuation that can't stand the test of time. But you don't understand that I'm not either of them. I am both, and that is why I know exactly what I want in this life."
Pulling away from him, I looked into his eyes. Even though he couldn't see me, I wanted to show him that I was serious, and I knew he could feel it. "I've always wondered when and how I fell in love with you," I said softly. "For all these years, you've always held a special place in my heart, even before I was old enough to understand what that feeling was. I had thought that maybe this was love at first sight … but when I found out about all your secrets, I realized that I was wrong. It was because of the sword spirit inside me. She may have forgotten those painful days from the past, but she didn't forget you. For the hundreds of years that you've been waiting for her to come back, she's been waiting as well. Not for revenge, but for a chance to love you again without a tragic ending."
The look on his face turned blank. I raised my hand, cupping his cheek. "I might be young in this life, and I might be inexperienced, but I know my heart doesn't lie to me. Five years might be a short time for you, but it was enough for me to learn what love is like. You showed it to me, with all your care, your sacrifice, and the joy you bring me … How would I ever be able to accept anyone else, after experiencing what it's like to be loved by you? How could I ever be able to make such unforgettable memories fade?"
Running my fingers softly down his cheeks, I let out a small sigh. "Do you understand now? Even if you somehow manage to push me away, I will never be able to live that life you want me to. If you truly wish to make me happy, then fight this with me. Regardless of the result, at least we would've tried, and at least we wouldn't be left with memories of spending our last days together in endless arguments like this."
Another long silence, and I knew that he finally listened this time. "I …" he said at length. "I'm sorry …"
"I can't tell if your apologies are sincere," I grumbled. Inching forward, I closed the distance between us again. "Prove it to me, Bai Ye. Show me that you mean what you say."
His hand that was still resting over my waist twitched. Then it clenched into a fist, as if he was fighting against himself. I waited. I waited some more, until finally, it glided up behind my neck, and he pulled me in, sealing our lips together.
It wasn't a peck anymore. His tongue met mine, slowly but surely following my rhythm, returning my caress with the same warmth I gave him. Ecstatic, I let out a tiny sigh, and I delved deeper into his mouth, savoring him, reminding him of how much I missed him, how much I needed him. His other arm circled me. My fingers slid into his hair. Then—
He suddenly pushed away as another wave of coughing overtook him.
"Bai Ye!" I gasped, releasing him hastily. Did I … get him too excited? I stared at him with round eyes, and for a moment, I wasn't sure if I should be feeling relieved or remorseful. Fortunately, the burst subsided soon enough, and no blood stained his sleeve this time. "B-Bai Ye …" I stammered, "are you alright?"
He lifted his head. He was smiling. For the first time in the past two days, that smile didn't end at the corner of his lips. "Was that sincere enough?" he asked. Reaching up to me with a slight fumble, he brushed his fingers over my cheeks. "I'm risking my life to show you how sorry I am, Qing-er … Will you forgive me now?"
I looked at him in wonder. Suddenly, my eyes grew misty. "You ARE a fool," I mumbled, and I touched my lips to his forehead. "No more talking about risking your life. Then you'll be forgiven."
His smile widened. Draping his arms loosely over me, he gathered me in a light embrace.. I buried my face into his shoulders, and before I closed my eyes, I saw the afternoon's golden gleam peeking through the window, dazzling in a thousand rays.