Chapter 42 - The Night Is Still Young
Chapter 42 – The Night Is Still Young
We stayed in that embrace for a long while, panting into each other's shoulders. His hands idly traced along my back, and mine did the same, lacing through his hair from time to time and twirling the silky strands around my fingers. I wished I could wrap myself around him just like that.
"Qing-er," he spoke first when our breaths steadied at length, "if you keep this up every day, you'll drain my life before my time is due."
I loosened my hold on him just enough for a soft kiss. "You still have hundreds of years ahead," I said. "I'll have to work harder than this to drain all of it."
He laughed. Keeping me in his arms, he rolled onto his back carefully and rested my head against his shoulder, gently stroking my cheek. Our bodies were sticky from sweat, but neither of us mentioned a bath or cleansing. It was the taste and smell of our love, and I wasn't ready to let go of it yet.
"Do you remember the last time you came to me in the dead of the night?" he asked.
Of course I did. It was during my first winter at Mount Hua, on a night with howling snow and lightning that lit up the sky like it was day. I had never seen such weather before in my life, and I thought the world was going to end. The only safe place in my mind was by Bai Ye's side, so I ran through the deafening thunder and the heavy blankets of snow to his door, half-frozen by the time he carried me inside and tucked me into his own bed. The soothing scent of cedar slowly lulled me to sleep, and he sat watching over me all night.
He had been like a father to me then. Always protective, always indulging my silly, childish needs.
I ran my fingers casually over his chest. His heartbeat was strong and familiar beneath those scars. "It might be less embarrassing if I don't remember," I said. "For a thirteen-year-old, I was a bit too easily scared."
He brought my hand over to his lips and dropped a light kiss on my knuckles. "You've grown up, Qing-er."
He didn't say the rest of the words, but I heard them: grown up enough that I had found the courage to not only brave a thundersnow, but also face my heart's true desire; grown up enough that when I came to sleep in this bed once again, I was in his arms.
The thought piqued my curiosity. I had always admired him since the day we met, and those feelings only started to turn romantic as I aged. But as someone who had lived many times longer than me, when did he start to feel the same for me? When did he start to think of me as a woman to love instead of a girl to nurture?
I lifted my head and rested my chin on his chest so that I could see his eyes. "Will you tell me something?" I ventured. "When did you start to realize I'm no longer a child?"
He arched an eyebrow. "You mean when did I start to want you?"
My heart skipped a beat. I didn't want him to think I was insinuating that he had filthy thoughts for me when I was a little girl, but his brutal bluntness brought the subject straight to the surface. The Bai Ye in my earlier dream seemed to have blended in with his image right in front of me.
He chuckled at my nervousness. "I'll admit it with no shame, Qing-er. It was when your farewells changed."
His tone eased me—at least he didn't take offense at my question—though the answer was baffling. "Farewells?" I asked.
"Every time before I left Mount Hua for a trip, you used to keep asking me how far I was going and if I could come back sooner. When I returned, you were always so excited that you would drop everything you were doing and run out the door to greet me, and you wouldn't leave my side for days."
Ah, those embarrassing memories again. "I wasn't always like that when I was young …" I mumbled sheepishly. "My parents said that I became easily anxious ever since the deadly fever I caught when I was six. It was almost like I had changed into a different person."
He was quiet for a moment. Then he continued, "As you grew older, you asked less and less about how long my trips would be. Before I left, you would tell me instead to take care, and sometimes you would pack a helpful potion or two for me depending on my destination. When I returned, you stopped showing your excitement outwardly, but I could see the relief in your eyes every time you saw me safe and sound."
I stared at him. Those were such trivial things that I never even noticed myself, yet he had remembered all these details over the years.
He rubbed the pad of his thumb slowly over my cheek. "It's easy for anyone to say they love you, Qing-er, but it's through little things like these that you know they truly care. Remember this."
I nodded. Though after thinking for a moment, I realized his words didn't sound quite right. "Why do I need to remember this?" I asked. "You've already proven to me enough that you care. More than enough."
He smiled. "Then remember it so that you won't be fooled by other men and leave me," he coaxed.
I propped myself up to seek his lips. "You underestimate yourself, Bai Ye, and you underestimate me. No one and no enchantment will ever make me leave you."
I knew it was the type of promise that everyone would make in their youth, only to be broken when the time came. But I meant every word, and when I felt the flutters intensifying inside me when our lips touched, I believed every word as well.
"Bai Ye," I whispered as the kiss deepened, "the night is still young."