Chapter 406
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Chapter 406: 406
I was about to reach for the lights but Kaley stopped me. She was holding my arm tight and she just wanted me to be right next to her. I tried to talk to her but she was just crying nonstop. Having nothing else to do, I just hugged her tight as she cried in my arms. I didnāt even know the reason why she was crying but seeing her like this left me confused and broken.
I always wanted to see her different expressions from pulling out a bad joke in a bad time or from making her something delicious, but, this was not one of the looks I wanted to see her in. Tears started to well in my eyes because she was crying with a painful expression and I didnāt know what triggered that.
āHeyā¦ Kaleyā¦ Iām here, okay?ā
Kaleyās face was buried in my chest and I could feel her tears falling on my skin as she was tightly hugging me. She was still not responding so I waited for her until she was able to talk to me. Good communication was always the best go-to but there were times when silence was the answer.
āDid something happen when she talked to her mom? Noā¦ wellā¦ maybeā¦ Our relationship with each other really got a bit open with other people though we never do it without each otherās presence. Hmm, is that even the reason why she started crying? Well, I think it started when she asked me whether itās fine with me just being with her. It could be that or thereās another reason I donāt know yet.ā I thought to myself.
I grabbed the edge of the blanket we were covered in and I tried to wipe the side of her face where I could reach. Even so, tears were still continuing to fall from her eyes but she was more silent compared to earlier.
Time continued to pass until she asked me to listen to her as we sat upright, face to face.
āI just had a little talk with mom earlierā¦ as always, she managed to figure out that our little circle grew with Cynthiaā¦ā
āHmm, I figured that she would know eventually but I donāt think that wouldā¦ you knowā¦ warrant thisā¦ right? Did she say anything else?ā
āNoā¦ just the usual reminders butā¦ I would sometimes get to thinking about usā¦ no- I- I would sometimes get to thinking aboutā¦ what you think of meā¦ā
Kaley looked at me before looking down on the pillows above our laps.
āWhat? What do you mean? You already know what my feelings for you are, right?ā
āā¦ā
āKaley?ā
āItās justā¦ justā¦ sometimes Iā¦ sometimes I think that I just drag you along with meā¦ even when Iām the one who used to yell at others to stay away from youā¦ itās a little hypocriticalā¦ thereās also an instance that I think that Iāmā¦ Iāmā¦ not good enoughā¦ you knowā¦ for youā¦ Iāve just been thinking about itā¦ a lotā¦ā
āKaley, to be completely honest, Iām a little confused about what youāre saying. Sure, sometimes I would get surprised especially the first time we did it with them but I didnāt say no at that time and those other times, right? I couldnāt speak for every person but I fantasized about it happening to me at least once. Like we said to your mom before, weāre all consenting a.d.u.l.ts and itās not like as most open relationsh.i.p.s even are. The thing Iām confused about is you thinking that youāre not good enough for me. If I must tell you, I still couldnāt believe youāre with me. That never changes.ā
Kaley seemed like she was still not telling me things clouding over her head. Marisha informed me of this before and I was starting to scratch on the surface. However, Kaley was starting to be unresponsive as she started to look down and bite on her lip.
āAlso, Iāve already put two and two together.ā I tried to get her attention.
Kaley looked at me with a questioning gaze.
āI know that you heard me and your mom talking when they arrived here. That time when you escaped and hid in the bathroom? It took me a while but I figured it out! You know what I said and I meant every word of it. If youāre still having doubts about me, the only thing I could do right now is to write a 10-page essay explaining everything inside my head. It could be more pages since thereās more going inside my head than what Iām saying right now. You have no idea whatās still inside that hasnāt come out.ā
Kaley smiled faintly and a tear fell on the side of her cheek. She wiped it with her hands and then she smiled brightly. We just looked at each other for a moment before she took a long deep breath.
āIām sorryā¦ I never really had something likeā¦ like thisā¦ like youā¦ā Kaley responded to me but her expression turned different once again.
I looked at her, confused once more.
āIāve been in a few relationsh.i.p.s you knowā¦ after I thought that you didnāt like meā¦ However, being a bitā¦ for a lack of a better sounding wordā¦ partially h-h-hypers.e.x.u.a.lā¦ it didnāt help build a strong relationship with whomever I was with. Itās a different set of experiences but with the same hurtful outcome. Some would like it and assume Iām like aā¦ you knowā¦ and some would get off-putted by it. The look and even the words they would give or say to me because of how I am would really hurt meā¦ a lotā¦ā
Tears started to well up in her eyes once more but she closed her eyes for a moment to breathe. She held my hand before she opened her eyes. Our eyes never left each other and I suddenly felt stupid in thinking that she never had monsters of her own. I caught a little glimpse of it before but I never saw the whole thing until now. It was different for everyone but the issue was that they exist even for people that look like they donāt.
Kaley continued to speak while I continued to listen.
āI would even get told or forced to do some things that are too much for me because theyāre assuming that Iām down for anything and they would get f.u.c.k.i.n.g mad when I say no. Sometimes I would just get confused or would mix up what I want because of my past experiences with people. If I started a new one, Iām afraid of what they may say or think about me so I would sometimes act that we like the same thingā¦ā
I was silent not because I didnāt bother to say anything but because there was nothing to say and silence was the right answer this time again. The grip Kaley had on my hand got tighter as tears escaped from her eyes once more. However, when she saw me just looking at her, she had the wrong idea and got fl.u.s.tered.
āSky- umā¦ with you I- Iā¦ I didnātā¦ I-ā I cut her off.
I just faintly smiled and said, āEven if you did or didnāt, I understand. Iām sorry for thinking that Iām the only one that has problems. Also, Iām sorry for not noticing what you have for me. If you think about it, if I noticed your signs before, you wouldnāt experience that.ā
Kaley got up to my face and exploded, āYou donāt know that and itās not your fault! Why would you even put the blame on yourself especially the āyouā from before?! Itās stupid! Itās not our fault, itās theirs! For the record, I never pretended when I was with you! I COULDNāT AND I WOULD NEVER!!! I LOVE YOU, YOU DOOFUS!!!ā
āI LOVE YOU TOO, MISS PARTIALLY HYPERS-ā
āAHHHHHHH~!!! DONāT CALL ME THAT!!!ā
āAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WHY?! YOU ALREADY SAID IT YOURSELF!!!ā
āHNGH~ Please donāt call me that when Tatiana, Rin, and Cynthia are here, especially Tatiana. She might call me that every time weāre all hereā¦ itās true itās still embarrassing for meā¦ I have control of it after having talks with mom but it gets hard when Iām really stressed, had a drink, orā¦ā Kaley was red in the face as she trailed, looking at me.
āOr what?ā I obliviously asked.
Kaley didnāt answer me verbally but the kiss she gave me after shaking her head in amus.e.m.e.nt was enough of an answer. We had to do something we did earlier even if we already spent hours earlier. However, doing it after having a serious talk felt something vastly different. The emotions we were feeling were intense and it was the most amazing night we had, by far.
Tears fell on Kaleyās face once again but it was a different emotion that triggered it. We never let go of each other when we decided to rest for the night.
āGoodnight, you doofus.ā
āHeh, goodnight miss par- Ow! Kaley!ā
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