Chapter 646 - It's Never Not Funny... More Substitutions
A few people heard the sudden exclamations so Natasha pushed all of us back inside our home. She never looked so panicked and embarrassed, and the rest of us had a mix of reactions. However, Tatiana’s face had never been more colorful.
Tatiana’s ‘stoic’ expression was slowly falling apart, “P-P-Pfft! Did you really break Ibarra’s dick?! What happened?”
Natasha pouted as she glared at Tatiana, “This is not a laughing matter! Don’t laugh! Didn’t you hear what I said! It was an accident!”
‘It’s never not funny…’
“I did hear it, funnier hearing it the second time…”
“Argh! Tatiana~!” .
I tried my best to keep a straight face, forcefully avoiding looking at Tatiana’s expression, “That’s got to fucking hurt. When and where did this happen? Is he still in the hospital now?”
Kaley interjected with a straight face as she glared at Tatiana and me, “You two’s sense of humor is so dark… Injuring his penis is serious, okay? Did you bring him the moment it happened? You gotta bring him in as soon as possible. What ‘did’ happen? Did you two? You know?”
Natasha nodded a few times embarrassedly, “Y-Yeah… We’re at the house and I invited him into my room and– He was a little awkward at first so I gotta take the reins you know… I started kissing him… and kissing him… and I made him touch me… you know… that stuff–”
Tatiana interjected, “What position did you break his cock in half? Is it big at least?”
Cynthia and Rin started to pull Tatiana away from us then Cynthia said, “You~ You come over here! You’re not helping!”
Tatiana just pushed on, “I’m just having a little fun here! C’mon, Natasha broke Ibarra’s dick! Isn’t that fucking funny! Hah!”
Rin added, “Little?! You’re having too much fun! They’re– Your team is gonna be down one man, is that supposed to be funny? What if something happens!”
Tatiana did one last hurrah, “He’s not down, it’s probably bent!”
“Tatiana!” Kaley exclaimed while shaking her head while I was overexerting myself from trying not to reveal a smirk.
I waved everyone off, “It is a valid question though, the first one. Who else knows?”
Natasha shrunk down once more, “Everyone inside the house knows… Artem, Katya, Marina, Igor, Bogdan, the rest… Ibarra woke everyone up when he screamed and Mikhail carried him to our pickup. After that, we drove to the hospital and he had emergency surgery… The urologist said he’s fine now but he needs to stay there for three days…”
Tatiana broke free from the two, “Three days?! That’s so lucky! I’m stuck here for a month at least!”
I shook my head, “That’s just healing and for assessment after the surgery… It’s much worse…” 𝗇𝐎𝑽𝖊𝐿𝑛𝔢xt.𝒸𝑜𝔪
Natasha looked so guilty, “R-Really?”
Tatiana asked, “How?”
Kaley added as she turned to Tatiana, “You wouldn’t like the recovery process… Especially if it happens to you…”
Cynthia grew curious, “What? He’s not supposed to do it with someone?”
Rin almost chuckled but covered her mouth, “Tatiana wouldn’t survive that…”
Tatiana snorted, “Well, I don’t have a dick to break so…”
‘IT’S NEVER NOT FUNNY!’
“Tatiana! You! It’s really ha– difficult, you know?” Kaley was the one holding things together.
I nodded as I turned to Natasha, “Yep. No intercourse for a month at least. He broke his dick, not his ribs and his arm. He’ll be able to move as normal but intercourse is out of the question.”
Natasha nodded guiltily, “That’s right… That’s what the doctor said too… At least no intercourse for a month and for it to fully heal would take more… He needs follow-ups and more imaging studies in the future just to make sure he’s healed properly…”
Tatiana interjected, “Damn. You still haven’t answered it though… You’re on top, aren’t ya?”
Natasha exploded, “OF COURSE, I AM! I– I WENT A LITTLE TOO HARD, OKAY?!”
“Hah! A little?! I knew it! Don’t ride anyone else you sleep with like you do with Mr. Stud here, okay? Test the waters first before–”
“Hngh~ Dammit! I fucked up! He’s a really sweet guy and I b-broke his d-dick on the first night we’ve been together… He won’t even speak to me as he kept asking the doctor if it’ll still… you know… work… e-even if the doctor said many times that it will… You guys think it will? Is he mad at me?”
Kaley nodded, “Of course, it will. Maybe he’s mad? He just needs to take it easy and no joking like this when you meet with him, okay? And… u-umm…”
Everyone turned to Kaley as she trailed, “And what?”
Kaley turned a shade of red before muttering, “I’ll never forgive you if you broke his too, okay?! There! I said it! If there’s someone that’s bound to break it from riding it too much, it should be me!”
‘Wut…’
“Not you too~! Please! It really is an accident!”
“I know! I just had to say it in the open! If you join us sometime, you’re not allowed to ride him!”
“W-What?! B-But I like being on top–”
“Out of the question!”
Tatiana interjected as she chuckled, “Eh~ He could take it…”
“Agree…” Cynthia nodded a few times.
“We still need to be careful…” Rin had a tinge of worry on her face.
“I’m not joining later! W-Well… i-it d-depends if he still wanted to talk to me but…”
“A month is too long, right? C’mon, just say it!”
“Y-Yeah… b-but I’ll visit him when you know… he wants me to…”
I almost bonked all of their heads, “You guys should stop… Ibarra’s injured and you’re talking about who gets to ride me later? I’ll have to bring in Lois or someone else available. Okay, avoid talking about Ibarra in public but do visit him and take care of him if he still wants you to. It’s gonna be really embarrassing for him but you know… he really does like you.”
“R-Really? You don’t m-mind?”
“I have no say in that, you figure out what you want to do. We have our own arrangement here, albeit complicated. I think I kinda know what Ibarra wanted to talk to me about earlier… If he brings it up, figure it out with him too. Just know what each other wants and proceed to what you decided on.”
“S-Sure… I’ll try to check on him l-later then… He’s still sleeping when I left the hospital… He might w-wake up s-soon…”
Tatiana started losing it, “No morning wood then?”
As soon as Tatiana said that, I lost all composure but we were almost beaten up by Kaley and Natasha. Cynthia and Rin wanted to laugh too because, in any universe, it really was never not funny unless it happened to you.
After a short while, Natasha joined us for breakfast but she did prepare a take-out meal for Ibarra. She placed them neatly on a container before hastily leaving for the hospital. I gave her the day-off too and surprisingly enough, her substitution for today was Gemma.
She was recommended by the soldier Artem brought once and for the next few days, she will be substituting for Natasha.
Gemma was the person we took in before and locked up for a bit but she was now one of the civilians turned fighters. We had a short history because her past group tried to take everything from us but we mercilessly took them down, making her kill their leader and serial instigator. She was with another kid named Joseph when they came with us but he stuck to farm work and other miscellaneous jobs while Gemma got several certifications.
With that said, she also passed the psych evaluation Marisha put her through and she was now living among normal people without much judgment.
We picked her up from the DDR Camp and she was clad with a kevlar vest, a proper helmet, and a standard belt with her sidearm and the rest of her equipment. It included a radio, a knife, a pistol magazine, a flashlight, a small medkit, a large pouch for various items or used mags, and one extra magazine for her AR. She was obviously carrying a basic AR with iron sights plus a normal 1911.
I greeted her with a faint smile as soon as she came up to us, “Long time, no talk. Doing okay?”
“Yeah. It’s been a while. Where are we going?”
“Supplies.”
“But which kind?”
“Construction but we’ll be going first before the trucks. We’ll clear two whole blocks before sending them in. If we’re lucky, we could snag a few delivery trucks there too so taking them home will be easier.”
“I see, who I’m gonna ride with?”
Artem called from their vehicle, “You ride with us, I hope you don’t go too hard.”
Katya’s voice resounded from the inside, “ARTEM!”
Gemma gave a look of puzzlement, “What?”
Artem chuckled softly, “Not important, we’ll tell you if you do good. Ah– no, no… I think we just signed an NDA. Hop on!”
It didn’t take long before we were driving on the road but this time, I was driving instead of Ibarra. We passed by a few checkpoints on the way and the soldiers guarding said checkpoints let us through when they saw us coming. We also met with a few roaming groups that were assigned to clearing jobs but we drove further than them.
The place we were about to hit was a block or two of several outlets that used to sell construction materials and equipment. It was scouted long ago but the reason we decided to hit it now was that an unfinished construction project was right next to it and it had a lot more materials laying around and equipment just waiting to be taken.
The project was supposed to be a medium-sized condominium of sorts and it was just bare skeleton looking from the outside.
As soon as we arrived, I let Jared and Lois stay in our vehicle while I brought Kaley with me to circle around with Mikhail and Cynthia.
“Head for the locks first and secure the enclosure. We’ll clear the outlets before we enter that place. Lois, fly the drones overhead and compare the inside from what we received.”
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