Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Looking around, not only was Sebastian looking at me curiously, but everyone else either had their head tilted to the side or had this particular look where their eyes were opened wide—making their eyebrows rise at the same time—as they were in full attention. In any case, I would be speaking out of my ass right now but with Nature’s Butthole over there, I guess I won’t be too far off the subject.

I started as I took a short breath, “If we have some time, we should start exploring those other levels or at least a short radius around this area. You see, cave systems usually don’t work that way unless there’s a mudslide of sorts or something similar.”

JP interjected, “A mudslide inside a cave?”

I shrugged my shoulders, “Call it a cave collapsing unto itself, it doesn’t matter, but it did follow a hole, tunnel, or a cave, sure, that led to that huge turd popping out like that. Twice. And yeah, we’re not even sure that that’s a cave… you know, initially. I thought it was at first but aside from calling it Nature’s Butthole, Nature’s Garbage Chute could also fit perfectly well…”

“Because?”

I looked at everyone else puzzledly but weirdly at JP, “You do know— I mean, you fucking know how buttholes and garbage chutes work, right?”

“…” he looked like he was this close to punching my throat.

“In simpler terms, they’re an exit channel. And yeah, before you fucking freaks mention anal, there! I did it all for you, sheesh… Remember what I said about them possibly hiding inside a cave or a cave system instead of a home? This could be proof or evidence of it but since mudslides and the like only travel downwards, the place we’re looking for could be a few levels up or further up this steep path.”

Isaac interjected, “So, we’re close?”

I turned to Sebastian, “How long does it take to climb this mountain?”

“Hmm~ We did so before but it took us three— no, about four days in total. The Madam was with us, bless her heart, but if I was alone or with my colleagues, I’d say we’d reach the peak in two to three days. Nice view, I might add…”

Hearing that, there was a mix of reactions because, with the time we had left before departure, we should’ve at least spent some of the days we were here to reach the peak. And even though we could probably do it right now, we weren’t equipped to do such a thing, and watching out for traps and the like while looking out for an indented area or another cave entrance would most definitely slow us down.

On the other hand, I thought Sebastian would look disappointed from this failed(?) run but he didn’t look disappointed at all.

He looked like he was deep in thought for a few seconds before he turned to us with a smile:

“My lords, it’s still a little early but I think that this is a good stopping point. I believe we’ve done all that we can and doing more would be more wandering at areas that looked the same.”

“Are you sure, Sebastian? We still have a few more hours.”

“I do, my lord. I’ve ticked out more checkboxes from the list of things I have to do to accomplish my goals than I could imagine in these few days with you all. If I was alone, it would’ve taken me months to reach this point, and even though— Hmm~ You know what? I shouldn’t talk about my affairs at this time. But what I am about to promise on your last day—tomorrow, is a day of pampering for all the hard work you’ve done. Take it as a spa day of sorts.”

‘This guy really~ has a lot of secrets, doesn’t he?’

I joked, “Then what’s the plan for the afternoon?”

“Ah— I apologize but I do have other responsibilities to consider and since I was allowed to come here due to an emergency, I would have to catch up to those I’ve left before rushing. And oh! I apologize once again my lord but I guess our spar and the friendly match with my… my brothers with your disciples would also be postponed… Again, apologies…”

I was a tad disappointed, “Really? Oh man, sure… I understand. Will you still lift weights with us later though?”

“Ah— I’m afraid that too will be a negatory on my part… Again, I—”

I waved him off, “Don’t apologize. It’s cool, no worries.”

“So, shall we head back?”

“Yeah, lead the way.”

With that said, we eventually made our way back to Jesus and his crew without any incident, and Nancy instantly ran up to us with a basket of food she ordered Jesus to get from Lisa after driving back alone. They thought we’d take longer so Jesus brought more than the basket prepared for us though they already had eaten their share while watching the rest of the corpses turn to cinders.

Tatiana accepted the basket as I turned to Nancy:

“You could’ve just gone home, you know?”

“W-Why? Someone’s gotta take care of them! *points at Jesus and his crew* Do you have any idea how messy their interiors were?! Disgusting!”

Meg snapped, “Hey! Do you have any idea how can I easily wrap my hands around your neck and squeeze?!”

Jesus got in between the two, “Relax~ Relax~ Chill, alright? Nancy did do a good job while we made sure she didn’t wander around—”lightsnovel

Meg rolled her eyes, “Easy for you to say since you’re not the one who watched her! I had to tie her to my ankle and she kept pulling at it like a fish!”

“I-I did not! I-I just found something cool over there and you wouldn’t follow…”

“I’m not doing that again with you! You said it was close and we were already inside the woods! I thought you were gonna pee but you kept going and brought freakin’ mushrooms back!”

“B-But you liked them!”

“I-I did— but that’s not the point!”

“BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

In any case, it didn’t take long before everyone else took their seat as we drove back but let me just say that it was real~~~ awkward when Seb handed over the gift for his “friend”, Alexa. Not only did Alexa turn to me right before accepting the gift with a weird expression, but some of the cadets who didn’t know what was going on definitely knew what was going on right after that interaction.

Granted Megan couldn’t care less about the situation but Alexa couldn’t even look at us in the eye when I drove back only with my “inner circle” of “friends”.

But any normal guy would, they looked at me with reverie, hate, admiration, jealousy, and whatever the fuck was between those examples. I didn’t even bother passing it off like it was nothing or like it was an achievement because that would just open a can of worms I tend to avoid.

I was in a weird situation where I was kinda suffering from success though I’d rather have this topic only mentioned in the “safe zone” as Cynthia coined before because there were different connotations—good and bad—that come out of it.

With that said, the drive back to Sal’s estate was without any incident though everyone was itching to get into the shower.

I forgot to mention the face Nancy made when she got a whiff of us once we were all huddled up in my Raptor, and even if it was only for a few moments, we felt embarrassed because everyone wasn’t only stinky from the sweat but also the forbidden particles that got onto us from taking care of the corpses.

But yeah, showering with a bunch of women in a cramped space would be trouble—even if it was in a good way—but this time, I would love to take my time soaking in a tub alone or just with Kaley by my side.

There was just this awful way the smell of shit and whatever the fuck it was stuck in our skin that a simple bar of soap and water couldn’t easily fix. 

Though funnily enough, everyone else from our “group” had their priorities in order so Kaley and I had the bathroom to ourselves as everyone else did their own thing from the other vacant rooms.

Kaley and I were just soaking in the tub with this fragrant bath bomb she tossed in while music was playing on my phone:

“Hey…”

lightsnοvεl “Hmm?”

“Alexa told me she’d try things out with Seb again…”

“For real? That’s good—”

“Hold that thought. She mentioned it when I told them you wanted to just bathe with me but the thing is that she still wants to you know… do things with us. And get this… she said she wanted no sex with Seb for a good while first as we were still doing things with her…”

“But is Seb okay with that?”

“I don’t know… She’s gonna tell him later…”

“Kaley…”

“Hmm?”

“I do like to gossip a bit but I wanna relax now, don’t you?”

“Ah— I was really caught off-guard from what she said but at least it’s better now because they’re talking— Ah, I did it again… Sorry…”

“Don’t be, I still love hearing your voice though… Can we talk about something else? Like how useless all that makeup is to you because you already look good without them?”

“Pfft… Doofus… I do put a little at a time, okay? But sure, we can talk about something else but how about we do ‘this’ too?”

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