Book 59: Chapter 1: If Its’ Wrong, It’s Wrong
Book 59: Chapter 1: If Its’ Wrong, It’s Wrong
Kou Zhong made a ‘hold on’ signal toward Xu Ziling, who was about to proceed to the lower level. He moved to the window, looked down, and said in a low voice, “Something’s not right!”
Xu Ziling flashed to the other side of the window, it was only then did he notice that Kou Zhong was carrying a bundle on his back, bulging full of things. Astonished, he said, “You look like you are about to travel far instead of going into the palace.”
Kou Zhong reached behind to pat the cloth bundle on his back, he spoke cheerfully, “Ling Shao, you may not know this, but this bag of treasure was handed to me by Song ErGe before we left, telling me something like ‘the night is long, the dreams many’, so that tonight we will launch the first artillery shell[1]. You understand!”
Xu Ziling was shocked; he said, “Song ErGe is not joking, is he? Unexpectedly you are going to have the firework party tonight?”
Kou Zhong said, “I am more and more convinced of the planning is on men, the accomplishment is on Heaven [man proposes god disposes] – principle, besides, entering the treasure mountain, how could one return empty-handed? Tonight, we are going to play his granny’s game. Fortunately, even if we don’t succeed, we won’t die for a good cause, at most we are just wasting a night, pack and quit, and steal away. Hee …! I’m just joking, please remember that if we are found, we will run away from the city wall, and come back from under the city.”
Xu Ziling thought that since it was Song Shidao’s wise decision, what else could he say? ‘Launching the first artillery shell’, this saying was a play on words, which fully applicable to the present situation; he asked in a low voice, “Stop talking nonsense, what’s not right?”
Kou Zhong replied, “When I came last time, there were nearly ten vicious dogs that like you, their senses are spiritedly acute, rushing out from nowhere, but this time they vanish without a trace. Don’t you think something’s not right?”
Xu Ziling did not have time to bother about him making jokes about his senses, he said, “Why don’t you toss a stone to find out what’s ahead [idiom: to test the waters]?”
Kou Zhong said, “Someone is coming! Drat!”
Yin Zuwen appeared under the two boys’ eyelids, walking towards the small building. At the same time, they heard the sound of the door opening at the exit of the tunnel.
The two boys you looked at me I gazed at you, their scalp went numb; how could there be such a coincidence? Momentarily there was no room to advance or to retreat, they had no choice but to use the unchanging to respond to the ten-thousand changes.
They squatted down low, fearing that Yin Zuwen would sense something unusual, while focusing their power into both ears, paying full attention to the movements on the lower level.
They heard the sound Yin Zuwen kneeling down, followed by Li Yuan’s voice laughing and saying, “You may rise! Tonight Zhen is temporarily not the emperor, so we can dispose of tight regulations; otherwise how can I enjoy myself to the full?”
Yuwen Shang’s voice said, “What brilliant arrangement do you have?”
The sound of the exit being covered-up came from downstairs.
Yin Zuwen spoke flatteringly, “Tonight, we invite Qing Guniang from Shang Lin Yuan to perform singing and dancing, I guarantee that Huangshang will have a new experience.”
Li Yuan asked, “How is she compared to Ji Qian?”
Yin Zuwen replied respectfully, “Qing Guniang’s appearance and art are definitely not inferior to Ji Qian, and she has just arrived in Chang’an, I am certain that Huangshang has never seen her. This woman is also like Ji Qian, who sells her art but does not sell her body. Whether it will be a success or not, it will depend on Huangshang’s technique. Ha!”
Li Yuan let out a long laughter in delight, obviously because he was going to enjoy the delight of ‘sweet, fair, and graceful wise and virtuous woman that the gentleman seeks’, and was very excited. He laughed and said, “Zhen is a bit impatient to wait!”
And then they heard the sound of the three men’s footsteps going farther and farther away. The two boys you looked at me, I looked at you, momentarily they were speechless.
Kou Zhong put the exit back so that everything returned to its original state. Taking out the Night Pearl, he laughed and said, “Li Yuan can forget about having a good dream tonight. The sound of the fireworks will definitely be a blot on the landscape [idiom: dampening the spirits], it will be hard to enjoy himself to the full.”
Shaking his head, Xu Ziling said, “Bai Qing’er has deep knowledge of men’s revolting behavior that the more difficult it is to obtain, the more precious the women will be. Therefore, she will resort to wanting-to-accept-but-still-resisting seducing methods, to turn Li Yuan’s spirit and soul upside down and is unable to extricate himself. She can’t possibly that quick to have real ecstasy with him.”
Kou Zhong reached out to put his hands on his shoulders and steered him eastward, saying, “After all, you, Ling Shao have more experience with women than I do, no wonder so many beauties are taking a fancy to you, ending up they are emotionally close and unwilling to leave. Ha! Suddenly I have full confidence in tonight, I wonder if you have the same premonition?”
Xu Ziling spoke heavily, “I’m wondering whether the other end of the exit is guarded? How could I be in the leisurely mood of having a premonition of something that might or might not happen in the future?”
Kou Zhong spoke cheerfully, “Ling Shao can rest assured. This tunnel is like Li Yuan’s lifeline to pursue happiness. In order to keep it secret, those who know this secret tunnel must be less than a few, Wei Gonggong ought to be one of those people privy to this secret. In my opinion, there should be no one guarding the exits of Taiji Palace and the Yu Yuan Da Yu Chi [lit. Big Fish Pond of the Imperial Garden]. In order to conceal Li Yuan’s tracks, Wei Gonggong should be putting on an act inside the imperial study room, waiting respectfully for Li Yuan’s holy self’s return. Therefore, this is called Heaven helps me; do you agree?”
Xu Ziling nodded and said, “I can’t think of anything to rebut your words, but tonight, there must be no failure, the task entrusted to us is too big.”
Under the illumination of the weak rays of light of the Night Pearl, the secret tunnel extended deep inside, the smell of the burning wind lanterns still lingered in the air, reminding them that the Li Tang Master had just passed by.
Kou Zhong sighed and said, “Life is really hard to see. Last time we came to steal incomparably famous paintings, this time it is to burn fireworks. Who can think of it?”
Xu Ziling’s tiger-body trembled, he halted his steps.
Kou Zhong was about to ask, Xu Ziling shouted in low voice, “Quickly follow me!”
Kou Zhong was shocked; putting the Night Pearl away, he flew forward, close behind him.
When they were passing by the real passage’s entrance near the fake exit by the south wall, they faintly saw the lantern light on the other end, and they heard voices.
In the blink of an eye, the two boys flew to the end, Xu Ziling soared upwards, Kou Zhong followed blindly, one after another they stuck themselves to the ceiling by creating sucking force on their hands.
This moment the footsteps came near, the lantern light hit the living-wall exit and reflected to the opposite wall, creating a halo of light, which became clearer and brighter as the men were coming closer and closer.
The two boys closed up everything that would show any sign of life, including the faint ringing of their heartbeat and pulse, but in their heart they did not stop groaning. As long as the other side raised the wind lantern in their direction, there would be nowhere to hide. The only thing they could do was to immediately make their move to subdue the incoming men.
The short time of several breaths felt like an endless period of several years.
From the living-wall entrance, four big men dressed in casual imperial guard clothes turned into the passage where they were. Only one of them cast a glance in their direction. Fortunately, he did not raise the lantern, naturally they did not notice the slightest abnormality, so they continued their patrol, advancing towards the Guo Zhang Fu’s [state father-in-law] exit.
After the imperial guards had gone far away, the two boys fell back to the ground. In the dark, you looked at me I gazed at you, they felt there was no room to advance or to retreat.
Kou Zhong spoke in low voice, “Such a long distance, how could you generate reaction?”
Opening up his hand, the light reappeared from the pearl in the hollow of his palm.
Staring fixedly at the pearl in his palm, Xu Ziling spoke indifferently, “Sensing is sensing, how am I supposed to explain it? Ay! But my cultivation has not yet reached the perfect state, it was only now that I knew that there are guards at the Taiji Palace exit, otherwise, the only thing we should do is just retreating the same way we came in. When those previous four big brothers come back, that would be the tragic moment our disaster will arrive, because the lantern light won’t be blocked by themselves like it was just now, but can shine directly to the corner where we are hiding.”
Kou Zhong spoke heavily, “Why don’t we take a gamble by trying his granny’s so-called fake exit leading toward the Imperial City?”
Xu Ziling said, “Do you have any confidence that you won’t activate the trap of the exit?”
Kou Zhong smiled and said, “With Ling Shao helping me, is there anything we can’t possibly accomplish?”
No longer hesitating, the two boys flashed toward the ‘fake exit’. Kou Zhong reached out to press the mechanism to open it, while Xu Ziling pressed his hand against his back, true qi started to accumulate.
Kou Zhong spoke in low voice, “This tunnel that can lead both to the imperial city and outside the palace must have been built by Yang Jian to guard against his subordinates rebelling. Even if the imperial city is occupied, he would still have the ability to meet a contingency by counterattacking from the underground with wonder troops. Therefore, the tunnel’s exit must be a place in the imperial city that no one could think about. The answer to this riddle will be revealed immediately.”
Entering straight, Kou Zhong felt the light was brightening ahead, his spirit [or attention] extended to both ends of the tunnel, separately sensing the men guarding the Taiji Palace exit and the previous four imperial guards moving farther and farther away. It was some kind of mysterious situation that he was unable to describe.
He was so moved that he almost shed tears, because he finally shared his best brother Xu Ziling’s spiritual realm. It was an incomparably moving heaven and earth that he had never imagined before, brimming with shocking power.
At the same time, he clearly, without any doubt, without the slightest error, grasped the mystery of the mechanism operating the hatch door.
‘Kacha!’
A series of some kind of trap links was unlocked by Kou Zhong’s internal power. Kou Zhong’s expression tranquil, he opened the mechanism; utterly fearless, he pushed it upward, and the square lid moved up, revealing a completely dark space outside.
Smiling, he said, “Ling Shao, after you! I sense that there is no trace of life outside.”
The hatch was closed. The two boys repeated their old striking-the-ox-on-the-other-side-of-the-mountain skill to re-lock the lid and reconnect the mechanism. On the surface, nothing appeared unusual.
Under the illumination of the Night Pearl, all around were row after row of weapon racks standing in great numbers, full with all kinds and sorts of weapons, giving them the illusion of being inside an armory with no end in sight.
Kou Zhong laughed aloud and said, “This must be the armory located in the southwest corner of the imperial city under the Right Long Wu Army’s headquarters. Yang Guang, that fellow thought everything meticulously, he did not have to worry about not having weapons when necessary, and he had control over this command post with extremely strong defensive power; it was akin to having control over the southwest corner of the imperial city, with the full advancing-able-to-attack, retreating-able-to-defend effectiveness.”
Xu Ziling spoke in astonishment, “You have indeed spent a lot of effort, at least you know where this place is.”
Kou Zhong spoke excitedly, “Xiaodi is the commander-in-chief with long experience in battle and disposition of troops, moreover, I also learned the importance of the geographical situation from Li kid. The imperial city has the Left and Right Long Wu Army and the Left and Right Shen Wu Army in charge, the four imperial guard units are separately stationed in the command posts at the four corners of the imperial city.”
But then, as if remembering something, he spoke dejectedly, “Ay! Brother, but this is also the most heavily guarded place in the imperial city. After leaving the armory, we are definitely unable to move a single step. Even if we succeeded, sneaking from the southwest corner of the imperial city to the northeast corner of the imperial city – is the farthest route, and the outer wall of the East Palace must be heavily guarded. This trip is not going to be as easy as the last trip.”
Xu Ziling’s gaze fell on the floor that has turned back to a large bluestone square brick; muttering to himself irresolutely, he said, “Oh, Kaisuo Dashi [grand master unlocker], please give me some pointers. What is exactly the mechanism of this hatch? If it is activated, what will be the consequences?”
Looking up, Kou Zhong made a guess, “Maybe a piece of ten-thousand jin huge boulder will drop from the sky, not only re-sealing the entrance, but also pulverizing our two small heads.”
Xu Ziling spoke crossly, “If that is the case, the imperial guards who entered the armory would have long discovered it, and the tunnel would have become a public secret.”
Kou Zhong knew that they could not do things half-heartedly like this; using his brains, he said, “Lu Shifu’s book on mechanism listed more than dozen types of alarm methods. The type before our eyes is perhaps what he called ‘knocking bell along incline plane’ mechanism; if the mechanism is activated, it might release an iron ball sliding down the ramp and strike something like a bronze bell at the end, sounding a warning. As for the real situation, only Li Yuan knows.”
Xu Ziling said, “If that is the case, this armory must be locked from the outside. I hope this time you don’t make miscalculation, otherwise we would have to stay here until Li Yuan finishes playing and returns back to the palace, and then leave without success.”
Kou Zhong spoke spiritedly, “Don’t worry! We, two dragons match harmoniously, unequalled in the world, how could we be stumped by a lock? Come on!”
Raising the Night Pearl high, he took the lead, turning to the left and rounding to the right around the maze-like weapons racks, until they finally came to a big iron gate. As Xu Ziling expected, it was locked from the outside.
Kou Zhong put all his hopes on Xu Ziling’s senses, he asked, “Anybody guarding outside? This big his granny’s iron gate blocked my hearing as well.”
Shaking his head, Xu Ziling replied, “I don’t know!”
Kou Zhong blurted out, “Unexpectedly, in such an urgent and important moment, your senses are not working properly? What do we do?”
Xu Ziling spoke nonchalantly, “I am not an immortal, naturally my senses have limitations.”
Kou Zhong reached out to touch the iron gate, he spoke with determination, “We’ll just take a gamble then, let’s see if Li kid is indeed the kid ordained by heaven.”
Xu Ziling reached out with both hands to grab both sides of his shoulders, and sent in his true qi.
Kou Zhong sighed and said, “Here we go again! I have not had a chance to tell you, I don’t know whether you have made more progress, or whether I have enough heat control [maturity], now when our true qi merges, not only Xiaodi’s energy doubles, my spiritual power is also lumped together with what I receive from you, LaoGe. His Niang’s! Outside is so quiet like a ghost domain; what kind of place is this?”
And then his countenance changed, he said, “My Niang! This time we are done for! The lock on the door is called ‘Two Deities Locking Five Generals’. There are three horizontal iron doors, both ends are locked dead with vertical iron pillars, even immortals will have their hands bound and are unable to do anything about it, much less us, who are not immortals?”
Knitting his brows, Xu Ziling said, “This does not make sense, if Yang Jian designed this tunnel to guard against a possible rebellion in the imperial city, there is no justification for a large number of men and horses to get out of the tunnel, but they cannot go outside. Quickly use your brains.”
Reminded by him, Kou Zhong hurriedly smiled apologetically and said, “You are still more all right. Let me, Xiao Dashi [little great master] who has obtained Lu Miaozi’s handed-down techniques, try to crack Yang Jian’s mechanism. Ay! Tonight’s luck seems to be a little blocked, I hope it will be bitter first and sweet later!”
Xu Ziling swept his gaze over the dozen or so weapon racks lining up the wall on this side, next to the iron gate, he suddenly understood that to explore the wall, they must be removed first. He sighed and said, “Probably it’s not a living wall but another tunnel. By the time we find the truth, it’s going to be daybreak!”
Touched by a sudden inspiration, Kou Zhong said, “I have a unique secret method that will save us time and our true qi!”
Xu Ziling grabbed his shoulders for the second time, sending in his true qi, but asked doubtfully, “Is our matching-harmoniously true qi really that formidable?”
Closing his eyes, Kou Zhong muttered as if he was talking in his sleep, “The next time is more formidable than the previous one. The structure of the living wall is different, but of course it can’t hide from our discerning eyes. Niang said that the human body is a treasure house, and we are precisely using this treasure house to do what a capable person actually cannot, hence we only need to remove one weapon rack, and it should do it!”
Kou Zhong pressed both hands on the section of the wall exposed after the weapon rack was moved away, applied his strength and pushed forward, yet it was absolutely still.
Frowning, Xu Ziling said, “This doesn’t seem to be a living wall?”
Smiling wryly, Kou Zhong said, “I am sure it is a living wall, only I don’t know what ghost thing blocking it outside. I don’t dare to use too much force, because I am afraid that something might be pushed and falls, and creates ‘Peng! Peng! Bang! Bang!’ noise, and then it will be terrible through and through.”
Xu Ziling also pressed his hands on the wall, he said, “Let me apply my power to suck the ghost thing on the other side, you push. Now!”
Kou Zhong applied the amassed power in his entire body and sent it out to push the wall.
The wall responded to the push by separating and moving outward. From behind the wall came the sharp squeaky noise of some objects rubbing against the floor, which was shaking to the core, but they had no other choice but to take this risk.
When the living wall showed a gap enough for a person to pass through, Kou Zhong stepped sideways and stuck his head out to look around, he called out, “His Niang’s! What ghost place do you think is outside? It turned out to be an armor room, full of cabinets; the thing blocking living wall is precisely a big wardrobe full of armor and military uniforms, no wonder it’s so heavy. I’m going out to find the way!”
Xu Ziling moved back the weapon rack to its original position first, before flashing to the wardrobe room. He pushed up the living wall, and pushed the cabinet. Kou Zhong returned to him and spoke excitedly, “This time it’s a success! Leading to the outside is only an ordinary wooden door, and it is not locked.”
He had not finished speaking, they heard ‘Creak!’ the door to the room was opened, followed by the light from a lantern; luckily the two boys were on the other side of the room, behind nearly thirty rows of wardrobes, otherwise they would not have anywhere to hide in an instant. However, if the people coming in walked over this side to fetch something, their hiding place would still fall through and stand exposed.
They heard the incoming person said, “His granny’s! Everybody else is playing finger-guessing game and drinking, amidst dishes with generous amounts of meat and fish, but we have to go outside to guard the city gate, enduring the wind and withstanding the cold.”
Another man laughed and cursed, “Looking at how drunk you are, I am afraid you will even forget the password for tonight.”
The two men coming in were walking in their direction while talking and laughing at the same time. Kou Zhong hurriedly put away the Night Pearl, he lightly patted Xu Ziling, and together they leaped up silently and landed on the top of a wardrobe and crouched down.
The men arrived, the light followed, and then they heard the sound of the wardrobe under them being opened. The imperial guard who was accused of being drunk laughed and said, “What’s so strange about forgetting it? It seems to be ‘Heaven Bless Chang’an’, right?”
After a good while, the two imperial guards put on the armor and left, and the room returned to darkness and silence.
Kou Zhong and Xu Ziling returned to the floor. The former laughed and said, “Do you remember? Don’t forget.”
Xu Ziling said, “How can there be wine to drink and dishes with generous amounts of meat and fish in the imperial guards’ place? What time is it now?”
Kou Zhong spoke cheerfully, “This is called rewarding the three armies, eating and drinking in shifts. Brother, how about picking up some convenience? A large number of expeditionary troops are receiving rewards in the imperial city, precisely a good time for us to fish in troubled waters. His granny’s! From Yangzhou we mingled around to Chang’an, we are still mingling around endlessly; it seems to be our fate?”
With quick hands, quick feet, the two boys changed into imperial guard uniform and armors, put on military caps, and simply stuffed their cloth shoes into the leather boots. When they came to the main door leading to the outside, Kou Zhong pushed the door and stuck his head out to look around. When he pulled it back, he said, “We are finally returning to the human world! Outside is a long corridor, heading left and right, two sides; shall we go right or left?”
Xu Ziling reached out to put his hands on his shoulders, and then simply pushed the door and walked outside, saying with laugh, “When we are mingling around, the most important thing is to know how to put on airs. Besides, we are genuine goods and fair prices imperial guards, it’s just that we are loaned outside to Furong Ye. What his Niang’s are you afraid of?”
His guts trembling, his heart startled, Kou Zhong said, “Ahead seems to be the main hall of the imperial guard station.” While he was talking, he moved the cloth bundle so that it was now carried under his arm, so it would not be too conspicuous.
The clamoring noise of joyous shouts and roars of laughter from the men playing finger-guessing game and other drinking games was rushing forth from the end of the corridor like a tidal wave.
A shot moment later, the two boys found themselves in a brightly lit and noisy main hall. Hundreds of Tang troops were eating, drinking and be merry, playing finger-guessing game and fighting over the wine, as much as they liked, abandoning all restraint – over several dozens of banquet tables, more chaotic and lively than the Six-Happiness and Ming Tang Wo. No one had any interest in casting them a single glance.
Kou Zhong laughed aloud and said, “Tonight is so invigorating!”
Putting his arm around Xu Ziling’s shoulders, they walked towards the imperial guard station’s exit ostentatiously.
[1] Launching the first artillery shell: the saying was originally a military term, basically it refers to the first to speak at a discussion forum or to take the lead in action on a certain occasion. (zdic.net)