Damn Reincarnation

She opened her eyes. Despite having slept for only a brief period, she couldn’t shake off the drowsiness. She lay still for a few moments, hoping to drift back into slumber, but her efforts were in vain. Once awake, she found it hard to return to the land of dreams.

In the end, Sienna let out a deep sigh of frustration as she opened her eyes. Anise had cast divine magic to stabilize her mind before she had fallen asleep, and Sienna had even resorted to a sleeping spell. But in this place, so close to the gates of hell, such methods seemed futile.

The Castle of the Demon King of Incarceration exuded a palpable aura of Dark Power that surrounded them. Noir Giabella and her army of Night Demons relentlessly attacked the heroes in their dreams, attempting to penetrate their minds. Despite their failed attempts, each attack eroded the divine power and dispersed the magic that protected the heroes and polluted their minds.

Sienna had always believed that wizards had a predisposition towards being sensitive psychopaths, even if others denied it. The recent events had given her a lot to worry about, and the constant stress had taken a toll on her. So it was no surprise that she suffered from insomnia and found it difficult to get a good night’s sleep.

“Are you having trouble falling asleep?” asked Vermouth.

“Yeah,” Sienna answered while rubbing her eyes. She turned her head and found Vermouth sitting in front of the bonfire. His golden eyes were calm before the swaying flames, and Sienna waved her fingers while receiving his gaze.

“You should sleep, even if you have to force it,” said Vermouth.

With a Saint and an Archwizard among their ranks, the party didn’t urgently require rest. Even if they managed to get only the bare minimum of sleep, they could rely on their reserves of magic and divine power to supplement their energy.

“I’ll manage for now. No need to worry,” Sienna replied with a grin. Just because they weren’t in desperate need of rest didn’t mean it was unnecessary. Using magic and divine power to counteract mental and physical fatigue was only a temporary solution. Prolonged sleep deprivation could have long-term consequences, including a reduced life expectancy.

“Are you pushing yourself too hard?” Vermouth asked with a note of concern in his voice. Sienna didn’t respond immediately, instead fixing her gaze on Vermouth’s face beyond the flickering flames of the bonfire.

The light from the fire illuminated Vermouth’s pale skin and gray hair, casting an orange hue upon him. Only his eyes remained a striking shade of gold. Even after traveling together for sixteen years, Sienna still felt a sense of unease when she met his gaze.

“Who among us isn’t pushing ourselves? Vermouth, you’re overdoing it too, don’t you think so?” said Sienna with a nonchalant smile.

Vermouth Lionheart had remained unchanged since the day they had first met. Sienna, Anise, Molon, and Hamel had all undergone some transformation during their journey, but Vermouth seemed to have remained the same. At least, that was what Sienna thought. 𝘭𝒾𝑏𝓇𝘦𝒶𝘥.𝘤𝘰𝑚

Right from the start, Vermouth had been perfect and transcendent. Sienna couldn’t deny that he had grown even more perfect and transcendent over time, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t perfect to begin with.

Then and now, he was mysterious and heroic. It was as if he was a human, or rather, an existence who was born this way.

“I’m fine, so there’s no need to worry about me,” answered Vermouth.

Sienna couldn’t fathom what was going on inside the mind of the great Hero, and she knew the others would agree. Vermouth Lionheart never revealed his true feelings and thoughts. Nevertheless, none of them had ever doubted Vermouth’s true intentions. Similar to everyone else, Vermouth was completely sincere about killing the Demon Kings and saving the world.

Vermouth was a perfect and transcendent being, a mysterious and enigmatic warrior, which was why the world called him the Hero. Even after spending sixteen years with him, Sienna and the others still saw Vermouth as the Hero.

Vermouth became the core and support for everyone in the group, and even Hamel, who often grumbled, acknowledged this fact. Without Vermouth, they would never have made it this far. They would have failed to defeat even the first Demon King, the Demon King of Carnage, let alone three of them.

‘It’s far….’

Even though only a bonfire separated the two of them, Sienna couldn’t help but feel a great distance from Vermouth. They fought, talked, ate, and drank together, and in the small moments of their daily lives, she felt close to Vermouth. He was a warrior and the Hero, but also her comrade and friend.

However, at moments like these, when Vermouth stared at her with such serene eyes, Vermouth felt so far away. Perhaps it was only possible she had absolute trust in his words because of how distant he felt sometimes.

Sienna shook her head, trying to dispel the throbbing pain in her head. She glanced around at her companions, finding Molon sprawled out on the ground and Anise curled up in a ball, sound asleep.

She could not see Hamel.

“Is it for us? Or is it for Hamel?” asked Sienna, unknowingly giving a wry smile.

Vermouth did not answer immediately but instead gave a shrug. “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Vermouth, I think you’re particularly soft when it comes to Hamel. You’ve always been,” said Sienna.

“It’s unfair of you to make it sound like I’m the only one. Aren’t we all particularly soft when it comes to Hamel?” responded Vermouth with an awkward smile.

They were in the depths of hell, a place where they had to always remain on guard. Even the smallest of sounds had to be taken seriously and sensitively. Even though Sienna and Vermouth were talking in hushed tones, despite their conversation, Anise and Molon weren’t being disturbed from their sleep. Moreover, Sienna could not hear any sound coming from beyond the darkness.

It was all thanks to Vermouth’s magic.

“I know I’ve already said it a dozen times, but I’m going to say it again. Vermouth, when we finally leave this forsaken place and return to the continent….”

“You want to study my magic, don’t you? Although to be honest, I’m not a fan of the idea,” responded Vermouth.

“Why not? The world will be at peace by then, and it’s not like I will do anything bad by researching your magic. It’s all for the sake of developing magic…,” Sienna said.

“Isn’t your curiosity a bigger factor?” asked Vermouth.

“Satisfying my curiosity and getting answers is equivalent to the development of magic.” It was an arrogant thing to say, but Sienna meant it from the bottom of her heart. She raised herself up with a smile without any sign of embarrassment. “There’s some time left until I take the watch, right? I’ll go see Hamel, just in case.”

“Sienna, if you’d like, we don’t have to switch,” said Vermouth.

“What are you talking about?” asked Sienna.

“I’m saying you should have a bit more courage,” Vermouth responded with a faint smile.

Sienna simply blinked with confusion, not immediately understanding his words. She was the next person on duty, but… they didn’t need to switch? Was Vermouth suggesting that he would take two shifts in a row? Why?

‘Courage?’

The moment she came to understand, Sienna became wide-eyed, and her jaw dropped. Although the throbbing headache was gone, she felt her cheeks flushing with heat.

“W-w-what are you saying!?” Sienna hissed fiercely.

“Did I say something weird?” Vermouth said with a nonchalant expression while tilting his head.

Sienna waved her arms for no reason before slapping herself on her cheeks. “Y-you’re saying something so weird… out of the blue! W-what do you mean by courage…?”

“Your reaction seems even more strange to me. Can you still be so embarrassed after having feelings for sixteen years?” asked Vermouth.

“It’s… not… sixteen years…!”

“That can’t be true.” Vermouth didn’t have a teasing expression. He looked as calm as ever, which drove Sienna even more crazy.

She tore at her sinless hair, groped her memories, and counted the years. “Strictly… speaking…. About fifteen and a half years….”

“If you’re still so embarrassed about it, it’ll be hard for you to take courage. Do you need help?” asked Vermouth.

“Don’t do… something so useless…! I-I’ll take care of it myself. And… and, you know, it’s not like we can afford to worry about those things right now, right?” said Sienna, desperately trying to maintain a calm expression. But it wasn’t just an excuse. Regardless of how long she had been harboring her feelings or how great they were, their current priority was to kill the Demon Kings to save the world. It was only right… to put aside her feelings until later.

“Someday, then,” Vermouth said with a faint smile. He stared at Sienna while continuing. “…On a day when everything will be finished, a day where we can enjoy the future we often laughed and talked about.”

They frequently discussed their aspirations for the future. Molon yearned to become a king, while Anise dreamt of a tranquil and freeing journey. Although Hamel was usually reluctant to speak, he had occasionally brought up the idea of teaching swordsmanship to war orphans.

Sienna had her own aspirations for the future. She longed for a simple life, to get married, have children, and grow old and become a grandmother. While she acknowledged that this kind of life wasn’t the only way to live an ordinary life, it was what she desired. During their conversations about their future plans, Vermouth would occasionally grace them with a rare smile.

It wasn’t an unfamiliar smile.

“…Hmph, you don’t know how a human heart might change, Vermouth. Even if I…. Right now, uh, well…. Hamel…. Right. Even though that’s how it is, you don’t know how it might change in the future, right? When we return to the continent….”

Unfortunately, Sienna could not continue her words. She could not possibly imagine herself loving any man other than Hamel. Even if it were just words, she didn’t want to say something she didn’t believe in. It felt as if she would be committing a crime by voicing it.

In the end, she pouted without continuing her words. Vermouth gave a smile and chuckled at her reaction.

“I don’t want to become the subject of your magic research, but I would not mind…. Right, I wouldn’t mind officiating at Hamel and your wedding. If I can, that is,” said Vermouth.

“D-d-don’t say such crazy things. Wedding!? As I said, you never know how things will turn out! I-I’m going, Vermouth. I can’t bear listening to this nonsense. This isn’t like you!” stuttered Sienna before jerking around. It felt as if her face would explode from all the heat.

Sienna was taken aback by Vermouth’s unexpected remark. Her emotions fluctuated even more, knowing that Vermouth wasn’t one to normally joke around.

But contrary to her emotions, delusions were freely developing in her head. She had already imagined something like this several times, a shameful fantasy she could never tell anyone about.

‘You shameful bitch,’ Sienna chided herself.

But in fact, there was one existence who already knew about her shameful delusions. Her delusions had only taken shape in detail when she was attacked by Noir Giabella…. She had dreamed because of the damned wench.

Sienna didn’t want a simple wedding. After all, it was a once-in-a-lifetime event.

If she were to have a wedding, she wanted a big wedding that would go down in history, a wedding that everyone on the continent would know about. It was only befitting that the wedding of two Heroes, those who saved the world, would be grand.

They would hold the wedding at the largest and most splendid castle on the continent. Regardless of who it belonged to, whether it was a king or an emperor, they would gladly empty the castle at Sienna’s request. The event would be grander and more glamorous than any coronation but also magnificent and beautiful.

All the kings of the continent would be required to attend the wedding as guests. What if they didn’t? Then they would be subject to the petty anger of the Archwizard, the defeater of the Demon Kings. Any highly regarded noble would also need to attend and offer the riches they accumulated while the Heroes saved the world.

…Vermouth would officiate. Could Molon host it? No, it would be too heavy a burden for the idiot. Then… Anise?

‘No. That would be too cruel.’

She could just leave it to any king. She wanted Anise’s blessing, but now she knew she couldn’t ask for it. What if they held a joint wedding? She was sure it would surprise everyone, but who cared? They had saved the world. They could do anything they wanted.

‘Hamel must have saved the world in his previous life.’

No, perhaps he could enjoy the luxury because he would save the world in this life. It was quite a delightful sight to imagine.

‘…You would look extremely awkward in your tuxedo, and Anise and I will be in pure white dresses at your sides. When Vermouth calls us, the three of us will enter together. That idiot Molon will burst into tears when he sees us walk in.’

This was even better. Both of them would be holding a bouquet, and in the end, they could throw one to Vermouth and Molon each.

‘I don’t think either of them would be married by then. For some reason, I think Vermouth will be single for the rest of his life, and Molon…. Well….’

On second thought, she could imagine Molon getting married very quickly.

‘Then would I be worse than Molon? I… I guess I can’t help it. If I lose to Molon, I’ll be teased for the rest of my life…. I-I should try harder and get married faster than Molon….’

Was it possible that she was currently under attack from Noir Giabella? Unless the whorish queen was attacking her mind, how could she be entertaining such shameful thoughts? Otherwise, there was no way she would be sinking so deep into these crazy imaginations, was there?

“…Hmm.”

But that was impossible. She knew that she couldn’t be dreaming when she saw Hamel in the distance. She knew that the delusions floating in her mind and the emotions causing her heart to race couldn’t be caused by Noir’s hypnosis. They were sincere.

It wasn’t difficult to admit to her own feelings. As Vermouth had said, she had been harboring these feelings for sixteen… or rather, fifteen and a half years. She had cleared up the confusion and acknowledged her own feelings about ten years ago, or nine years and a few months to be exact.

However, she was still embarrassed, and her heart still fluttered, just because that’s who Sienna was as a person. She had accepted her feelings long ago, but she still couldn’t express them directly. Indeed, she would need to properly confirm her feelings with Hamel, but before it ever came to that, she hoped that the stupid, idiotic moron would notice it first.

Rather than having to convey her feelings with a red face, she hoped Hamel would be the first to confess with a bouquet… or even a single wildflower.

Sienna had been inducing Hamel to fall in love with her until now. The problem was that he was an incredibly dense, stupid, idiotic moron.

So she switched things up. Every once in a while, when it was inevitable and necessary, Sienna revealed a tiny portion of her feelings to Hamel, just enough that no one but Hamel would notice. It was perfect for Sienna to look back on.

‘…..’

Vermouth and Anise had noticed, but that was only because both of them were more quick-witted than necessary. Unfortunately, Hamel, on the other hand, seemed to be even denser than Molon when it came to these things.

“Why are you sitting there like that?” Sienna cleared her face before speaking to Hamel. Was her face still red? But wouldn’t it be better flushed to appeal to the idiot? No, she didn’t like it. She didn’t want to show her flushed face to him, even if it might appeal to him. It was embarrassing, and she wanted to maintain her composure.

“And why aren’t you sleeping?” Hamel said after raising his head and looking back at Sienna. He was sitting on the ground. Sienna smirked without meaning to.

This is just how it was.

Her emotions had aged for fifteen years, but she was still embarrassed, and her heart fluttered when she saw Hamel.

“I’m on watch after Vermouth, stupid,” said Sienna.

“There’s more than an hour left,” responded Hamel.

“It’s only polite to wake up earlier and get ready,” said Sienna.

“As if. At least put a little effort into your lie. It’s obvious. You can’t fall asleep, can you?” Hamel said with a smile while wiping the sweat off his forehead. Instead of answering, Sienna snorted. As Hamel said, it was quite obvious and quite a common occurrence. “Sleep, even if you have to force it. It’s been a while since you slept properly, right? You’re going to hurt yourself.”

“Would you mind not worrying about me? Speak for yourself. Who’s worried about who?” retorted Sienna while clearing her face. She was sincere and meant every word.

But instead of answering, Hamel shrugged. His scarred upper body was soaked with sweat, and sprawled around him were the many weapons he liked to use.

This was also an obvious, everyday occurrence. Hamel did not allow his body to rest, even at dawn when everyone else was asleep. He trained himself and wielded his weapons like an obsession.

“It’s not like this is the first time you’ve seen me,” said Hamel.

“Did you already forget what we talked about earlier? Your body is a wreck, so take a break,” responded Sienna.

“I become dull if I rest. I need to keep adjusting it so it’ll move well when needed,” responded Hamel.

“Don’t say something so stupid. Do you want to get beaten up by Anise again? Or I can just beat you up right now myself,” said Sienna.

“I didn’tt overdo it.” Hamel raised himself, dusted his hands, then picked up the towel at his feet. “I’m just figuring out how far I can push myself and how much I can move.”

“…It’s really serious if you have to figure that out,” answered Sienna.

“Who in the world would want to die?” said Hamel with a laugh while wiping himself down with rough movements. “All I’m doing is to make sure I don’t die.”

“…Just—”

“Yeah, no, I’m not going back, and I’m not going to wait by myself either. I’m going to come with you guys no matter what. If you’re really that worried about me, protect me so that I don’t die.” Hamel shot back before Sienna could speak. Sienna opened her mouth a few times, then frowned before hitting Hamel’s chest.

“Bastard.” She made sure to use quite a bit of force, seeing how annoying he was. However, Hamel appeared unfazed and gave a smile in response.

“…No matter how much I think about it, it’s weird how soft Vermouth is when it comes to you. Why did he let an injured moron train?” said Sienna.

“Because he knows me well,” responded Hamel.

“Same as before. If Vermouth pushed you, then….”

“It’s the same as you,” commented Hamel. He kicked a large sword off the ground, then snatched it out of the air before placing it over his shoulder. “Sienna, in the end, you couldn’t push me either. It’s the same with Vermouth. He knows I’m not going to listen, regardless of whether he pushes me or not. If so, it’s better for him to keep an eye on me, right?”

“…You have a talent for sugarcoating your words. You’re basically saying that you’re a stubborn moron who runs wild without any regard for your life,” said Sienna.

“See? You know me well, Sienna,” said Hamel.

“Every time you act like that, I feel like an idiot for worrying about you,” said Sienna.

“Then don’t worry about me.” Hamel grinned, then pushed his thumb against his chest. “I won’t die.”

It was a funny thing to say. Anyone in the world could say that they wouldn’t die, and there were countless people who would die after spouting such words. Could Hamel be an unconditional exception?

Sienna just couldn’t bring herself to believe it, but she had no choice. There were no other acceptable outcomes. Everyone, including Sienna, had survived until now by dedicating themselves to keeping each other from dying.

“…Moron,” Sienna murmured in a small voice before giving a deep sigh. “I’m going to be careful on my own, and I won’t overdo it. So, Hamel, you have to do the same. Be careful, don’t push yourself, and… if you don’t want to kill me, you have to protect me. Because I’ll protect you, too.”

“It’s not just us too. Everyone’s the same, aren’t they? I think, if any of us ends up dying… wouldn’t it end up being Molon? That bastard’s always rushing in without thinking.” Hamel’s words were insincere, and he laughed playfully. He had already come to a conclusion to his question a long time ago. If any one of them had to die, then….

“As long as you survive, there’s always a next time, Hamel,” Sienna said before smiling for him to see. It felt as if he had been caught red-handed. After blinking a few times, Hamel swung his sword with a smile.

‘I don’t want to have this conversation.’

Sienna sat down while thinking so. This was a familiar situation. Whenever Hamel trained himself with his weapons, Sienna could usually be found seated somewhere nearby. At times like these, there wasn’t a big need for conversation, and today was the same. Sienna watched Hamel wield his sword without saying a word.

“…Childish brat.” But she had to say what she had to say.

“What?” asked Hamel.

“You’re doing that on purpose for me to see. You’re only using your bare body without any mana. Are you protesting to me that your body is fine? Is that it?” continued Sienna.

“No, I’m just training my body. This is what’s wrong with wizards. They’re obsessed with mana. Mana this, mana that. It’s not a good thing to train only mana, you know? You need to train your body as well if you want to…,” explained Hamel.

“I get it, so take it easy. Everyone knows you train at night, but if you really do get hurt, Anise won’t leave you in one piece when she wakes up,” said Sienna.

Hamel’s expression stiffened at her words as if he were genuinely concerned about being the recipient of Anise’s violence. Sienna giggled as Hamel sneakily released his mana.

“…What did you talk about with Vermouth?” asked Hamel while clearing his throat as if he were embarrassed by Sienna’s giggle.

“What else would we talk about? Badmouthing you,” responded Sienna.

“You already do that every day,” responded Hamel.

“Right, well…. We just talked about the usual,” said Sienna.

“Ah, I see. Talking about what we would be doing later?” asked Hamel.

Sienna smiled. Maybe they did know each other too well. “Yeah. But now… we can start to take it more seriously. There are only two Demon Kings left.”

“But it’ll be harder to kill the remaining two than the three we got already,” said Hamel.

“You’ve been so stubborn until now, so why are you acting so weak? Hamel, are you really planning to teach orphans how to use the sword? You want to build an orphanage after yourself or something?” asked Sienna.

“I’ve been thinking about it, but what if I build an academy instead of an orphanage? I’ll gather orphans from all over the country and teach them this and that,” answered Hamel.

“Ah, yes. You’ll name it after yourself and call it the Hamel Academy, won’t you? If you build an academy, there will be lines of people who will want to join, not just orphans,” said Sienna.

“You don’t think they would kill their parents just to—”

“Don’t be an idiot.” Sienna cut off his words while straightening her face. “…I think an academy will be nice.”

Apart from his nonsensical comment, Sienna empathized with his plan. Regardless of what he wanted, it was nice to plan the future after saving the world from its terrible fate.

“I’m going to continue my magic research, so…. Right. Hamel, if you build an academy, I’ll grace you with my presence as the professor of magic,” said Sienna.

“But Aroth already has the magic academy. They have the towers, too,” commented Hamel.

“Ha! The wizards of Aroth are old men who want to be served on a silver platter even though they’re inferior to me. I guarantee that I’ll be better than all the heads of the magic towers and the professors combined when it comes to developing magic and passing it on to future generations,” said Sienna confidently.

The future was a topic of discussion for them, but it was never a fixed notion. Every time they talked about it, the vision they had would shift and transform, sometimes only slightly and sometimes drastically. This was because their dreams and aspirations evolved over time. 𝑙𝒾𝒷𝘳𝑒𝑎𝒹.𝑐𝑜𝓂

“That’s why I’ll help you. Such a future…. I think it’s pretty good,” muttered Sienna with a faint smile.

As if embarrassed, Hamel turned his head completely while swinging his sword.

“I can’t imagine you being the headmaster of an academy,” commented Sienna.

“On second thought, I don’t think I’ll build it. I’ll just go somewhere airy and peaceful and farm,” responded Hamel.

“Embarrassed, are you?” Sienna giggled while hugging her knees.

Their visions changed every time they talked, but some things remained the same.

Sienna hoped for a happy life, and since some time ago, Hamel was always by her side in the future she drew.

That was how it had to be.

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