Chapter 238 - Forgive Me
Chapter 238 – Forgive Me
Lina's eyes snapped open in shock. Her heart felt like it was racing a thousand miles per hour. She was shaky with disbelief. Impossible.
"No."
Was Lina destined to die by self-sacrifice in every life? She could still feel the cold blade on her throat. She was frightened. She couldn't feel the deep cut, but she still remembered the pain of choking on her own blood.
Then, Lina felt the presence beside her. Her head snapped to the side in shock, tears welting. Immediately, she threw herself onto him, hugging him tightly. She held onto him for dear life, her breathing erratic and fearful. If not her, then him. She knew it was only with her death that everything would repeat.
Even though she was the one who bled to death, her heart bled for him. How did Kaden feel witnessing everything? How did he react to his lover taking her own life before his very eyes? How did he feel to hold her cold body? She could not imagine the pain. She could not envision the feeling of his heart being ripped to pieces.
"Well, this is a pleasant surprise," Kaden murmured, his hand stroking her spine.
Kaden wrapped his other arm around her. He brought her into his lap. She was trembling like a little lamb learning to walk. Whimpering in his shoulders, he knew exactly what she had dreamt about. With a kiss to the side of her head, he could only hold her until she calmed down.
Kaden wasn't great with tears. He was especially terrible with comforting people. Even his woman. He was not the type to whisper sweet nothings. He could only hold her until she calmed down. Until she realized he was right here. In flesh. In blood.
"Kaden…" Lina hoarsely whispered, clinging to him like she was terrified he'd disappear if she blinked.
"I'm right here, dove. Right here with you and nowhere else."
"They're so horrible… t-they—"
"I know, dove."
"They tried to take you from me—"
"I know, dove."
"And I know they're my parents. I hate them so much."
"I know, dove."
Kaden loved her in the best way he could. He kissed the top of her head. He squeezed her tighter. He slowly lowered them onto the bed, her on top of him, and his back on the mattress. She refused to let him go. Hooking her legs around him, she hugged him like a teddy bear.
Kaden did not mind. She weighed nothing in his arms. Pressing her face into the crook of his neck, he felt the wetness of her unstoppable tears.
"I dreamt of the life I had before my first in the mortal realm," Lina shakily said.
"I can tell."
"Why did you dive into the whirlpool?"
"I thought you were dead."
Lina's breath hitched.
"Right after you slit your own throat, mayhem fell over the skies. Did you know it took one hundred men to hold me down? I nearly shattered the Heaven Realm at the sight of your death."
Lina shook in his arms. He was the God of War. She would not have been surprised if he had torn the entire world apart to find her.
"By the time I reached the well, I was certain you were no more. When a deity dies, their soul floats to the human world, to be crafted again and remade until they can once again ascend to heaven. So, I decided to undergo the Three Trials in the hope of finding you."
"I ran to you," Lina said, pulling back, her tears finally drying.
"I thought you were a figment of my imagination. I did not think a dead woman could walk again, especially with a knife to the throat," Kaden hoarsely told her. "And now, look at where our foolishness has gotten us."
"It is not foolish, it's love."
"Exactly."
Kaden caressed her hair. She was staring at him with eyes glistening with the ghost of her past. It haunted her. He had grown to adapt. He had a millennium to do it. But she only had twenty-one years.
"It is best for you to forget, dove," Kaden softly said. "This pain you carry will ruin you."
"No—"
Kaden pulled her head closer to his. "Yes."
"No, I must remember, I—"
Kaden pressed his lips to her forehead. She froze. Her eyes grew large. Then, her lids became heavy. And immediately, she collapsed onto his chest. Knocked out cold.
Kaden swallowed hard. He decided on the spot. He did not have time to ponder the choices. He only knew the memory of her life in heaven would shatter her. She was still a human girl, with the soul of a goddess. Her brain would not be able to handle it. It never would. He'd know.
Kaden personally experienced the madness of her second life. When she remembered their first life in the Kingdom of Ritan, she was frightened. When she recalled her memories of Heaven, she lost her sanity. The people around her resembled the faces she saw in the sky. She could never cope with the fact that those she loved were the cause of her demise. Even though they were innocent humans, she'd scream at them and banish them from her sight.
In her mind, everyone was her enemy. Everyone was out to get her. On the spot, her sanity snapped. She was a crazy woman, kicking and screeching at everyone in her path. It'd take grown men to restrain her and she'd still fight them.
It wasn't long before she was admitted into a mental hospital, where her rationality further deteriorated.
"You would not be able to handle it," Kaden whispered. His chest was tight from the realization. Needles spread across his body. He knew this was a betrayal of her trust. He'd never live it down if she remembered.
So, Kaden kissed her forehead again. She was limp in his arms, as still as a corpse. But he knew she was alive. Just sleeping. That was all.
"I know you won't, dove of mine. You'll have to forgive me for this. It is for your own good," Kaden reassured her unconscious self.
Kaden had witnessed her pull her hair out in terror. She was never the same after regaining all her memories. He could not have the same monstrosity happen again. So he did what he thought was the best for her.
Kaden wiped away the moments of tonight. When the sun rose, she would be the same woman she was yesterday.. Or so, that was what he thought.