Death… and me

Chapter 1220 - Chu Yang’s Heart



Chapter 1220: Chu Yang’s Heart

Chu Yang stood in silence under the mountain.

Heavy snow covered the whole sky. It was as if he was the only one left in the whole world.

He stood on the top of a mountain, looking at the top of another hill opposite him. He had already stood there for a whole night.

He stood unmoving, nobody knew what he was thinking.

Opposite him, was the Wind Thunder Platform.

The fifth fragment of the Nine Tribulations Sword was right here.

And this was right where Chu Yang died in grievance in his previous life.

Here, all my efforts were ruined. Time moved backward and everything started from the beginning.

Yet this was also where his most painful experience took place.

Here, he suffered the most painful betrayal in his life. Mo Tianji, his lifetime close friend, ambushed here to kill him for his sister. That was a perfect trap for him.

That was the first and last time Chu Yang had experienced for himself the might of Mo Tianji the Master of Calculation and Manipulation.

Only after his rebirth, did Chu Yang truly understand that Mo Tianji ambushed to kill him for his sister Mo Qingwu!

Qingwu.

Chu Yang stood in the middle of all this white snow, and he seemed to see Qingwu from the previous life again. She was dressed all in red, dancing in such heavy snow that covered heaven and earth.

Her eyes were melancholic and her face was beautiful.

“Chu Yang, in this life, I will only dance for you.”

That was the first time Qingwu danced for him.

With one dance, his heart already fell for her.

In this life, I will dance for you; in all lives, I will dance for you. Even if I’m injured one thousand times, my heart will not change; even if I die ten thousand times, I would not grieve.

I do not dance easily, but once I dance, I would suffer for a whole life because of it. That’s why my name is Mo Qingwu 1**. I don’t dance easily, but once I dance, it is the dance of a lifetime.

Chu Yang, should there be an afterlife, should I still meet you in the afterlife, I hope you can give me a proper look. I am prettier than swords.

Chu Yang stood deep in thoughts.

“Yes, you are prettier than swords. What sword can be prettier than you? Not even the Nine Tribulations Sword!” muttered Chu Yang.

In Chu Yang’s heart, there was a feeling: the Qingwu from the previous life will return one day, sooner or later! Or, the Qingwu right now would retrieve her memories about the previous life someday.

Chu Yang had had that feeling since Mo Qingwu started having that strange dream.

He was looking forward to Mo Qingwu’s return.

Because he had too many words that he could say to nobody else, not even Mo Qingwu right now. Only Qingwu from the previous life would be able to understand him, know him, and truly understand what he struggled and fought his whole life for.

And only Qingwu from the previous life would be able to forgive him.

Not until Qingwu from the previous life really said “I forgive you” to him, would Chu Yang be able to lighten his heart. Qingwu from this life was beautiful and lovely, she obeyed him all the time and loved him deeply. Sometimes, Chu Yang would also think: I’ve already made-up for the previous life.

Yet every time he faced his own heart directly, he’d know that he hadn’t!

He hadn’t made-up!

It was Qingwu of the previous life who was hurt. Even if he made one thousand times more of compensation to the Qingwu right now, what was hurt in the previous life would still be there.

It couldn’t be made to disappear!

This was a knot that only Chu Yang from the previous life and Qingwu from the previous life could untie.

Yet Chu Yang was also afraid of Mo Qingwu’s return.

Because he knew that he was no longer complete, no longer the Chu Yang of the previous life. He himself in this life had an undeniably smooth life that treated him well since a young age, despite having pains and sufferings.

All the way until now, when he rose to top ninth-grade Sword Emperor at the age of less than twenty. Though such an achievement was nothing as compared to the greats, it was already unprecedented in nine heavens continent.

He had always strived to be humble, but… with the reputation gained at a young age, and the continuously brilliant achievements, did he really not have a bit of complacency? That’d be untrue.

Besides, his romantic life was also in a mess.

At least, Wu Qianqian was lying in the Nine Tribulations Space right now. In terms of emotions, logic, morality or responsibility, he couldn’t abandon her. Furthermore, in his heart, he had never considered abandoning her. He wouldn’t bear to do it.

In the Lower Three Heavens, there was still a female emperor, who saved him at the expense of her chastity, bore and raised his child quietly.

If he betrayed even that, how could he even be considered a human?

Wu Qianqian or Tie Butian, they never thought about using their love to tie him down, or using any so-called conscience or responsibility to restrain him.

They contributed in silence and never even asked for returns.

Yet once Chu Yang himself knew about these things, he had to face them. As a man, some responsibilities had to be born even if he had to die.

Besides, there was still Zi Xieqing.

Chu Yang smiled bitterly.

Zi Xieqing never had any romantic entanglements with him. With her, he was always bullied, and never seemed to get it back on her. But he actually enjoyed that feeling… Well, not the feeling of being beaten, of course.

But the sense of safety and reliability that he somehow felt with her. This was a psychological reason, not because he himself was weak. Chu Yang believed that even if one day, his cultivation surpassed Zi Xieqing, this feeling would still not change.

This might be a kind of reliance a man had to a woman’s “motherliness”.

Chu Yang couldn’t tell when this feeling became an attachment and turned into an inexplicable romantic feeling. Chu Yang didn’t know, and he believed that Zi Xieqing herself was also confused.

Though they didn’t say anything explicitly, and there were no promises.

Yet that sentence “Should we meet again beyond the clouds, I pray you’ll pick up the falling flowers at the river south” said before Zi Xieqing left had already expressed her feelings clearly.

“Should we meet.”

Zi Xieqing’s expectation of a future reunion was exactly like these three words: she both hoped for it and disbelieved it.

Chu Yang’s heart was a mess.

If Mo Qingwu from the previous life really returned, how could he say to her: Qingwu, in the previous life, I’ve wronged you, I owe you, I want to make it up to you in this life; but in this life, I not only love you, but also fell in love with someone else?

How shameless would that be?

Even thinking about it, Chu Yang felt that his shamelessness was so extremely sinful!

Polygamy was an ordinary thing now: the whole continent accepted it, and even Wu Qianqian, Tie Butian and Zi Xieqing approved such things.

But Chu Yang himself still felt bad. After all, in the past life, though he wronged Qingwu, they only had each other in their hearts.

Under such circumstances, he had no way of giving up any of them in this life. For others, it might be alright, but for Mo Qingwu, it was absolutely unfair!

Should Qingwu from the previous life return, it would only take one sentence for her to make him so ashamed as to have no place to hide himself: Chu Yang, you said in this life you are going to make it up to me for your mistakes in the previous life; so this is how you’re going to make it up to me, by tearing your one heart into many pieces and giving me one piece?

Though with the character of either Qingwu from the previous life or Qingwu from this life, she wouldn’t say this. However, even if Qingwu didn’t say so, wouldn’t she think so to herself: Chu Yang, you said you’ll make it up for the last life’s regrets, you’ll make it up to your lover, yet is this how you make it up?

Chu Yang sighed in sorrow.

Could one person’s heart really love several people properly at once?

He came to the Wind Thunder Platform with great eagerness, yet when he really reached it, he actually stood staring for a whole night. Even he himself didn’t know what he had thought over that night.

At any rate, he didn’t know how he could sort out all that mess in his heart.

The Sword Spirit turned into a faint shadow, appearing in the heavy snow to accompany Chu Yang. For a long time, he didn’t disturb him. He understood Chu Yang’s feelings.

At this moment, any words of comfort would be too weak.

The place of life, the place of death.

How could he not be emotional?

After a long time, Chu Yang let out a long breath and finally realized that his lower body was already buried in heavy snow. He looked down and muttered, “This snow is really heavy. I don’t know if Qingwu’s heart would feel cold?”

The Sword Spirit said quietly, “Even if it’s cold, it can be warmed.”

Chu Yang nodded and breathed out softly. “I wish that I can warm it for her.”

Nodding, he buried this thought at the bottom of his heart. He said, “Let’s go. We’re going to Wind Thunder Platform.”

The Sword Spirit let out a strange laugh and drifted behind Chu Yang. Two shadows rose up lightly on top of the mountain and went off in the air toward the mountain in front of it.

The Nine Heavens; they rest on a sea of cloud, along with the Wind and Thunder Platform. In the distance, lies a sliver of sky.

In the Northwest of Nine Heavens, it’s the most desolate land! Its peak can touch the winds and thunders, reaching the same height as heaven!

Chu Yang finally arrived at Mount Wind and Thunder.

In ancient legends, this was the place where the god of wind and the god of thunder had their final battle. It was said that the two gods battled for months but no victor emerged. In the end, the two decided on peace, yet they broke the whole mountain into two.

In the middle was a precipice one hundred feet wide and thousands of feet long, on its two sides were straight cliffs that went right to the bottom!

This cliff was the first wonder of the Northwest of Nine Heavens, the Line of Heavens.

If one looked up from the bottom of the cliff, only when the weather was completely sunny could they see a narrow line of the sky! If anything was blocking in the middle, then it couldn’t be seen.

Yet, over tens of thousands of years, not even a single grass actually managed to grow on the two straight cliffs.

On one side, the violent winds roared; on the other, thunders were heard all day.

In the middle of the cliff, there was actually a straight stone column, rising from the bottom. It was ten thousand feet tall but had a radius of only thirty feet. It was round and smooth from bottom to the top.

This was the most impossible.

With such a distance and length, even if it was made of iron, it would probably be blown down by even a gentle breeze, not to mention stones. Yet, this stone column stood here for tens of thousands of years without moving!

At the top of the stone column, a stone platform extended from each side, connecting each of the two sides of the mountain cliffs. On the cliff of the Line of Heavens, a stone platform was created out of nothing.

It ranged more than one hundred square feet.

It was as if two giants were facing each other and preparing to fight, yet a very thin and petite person stood between the two, extended two hands and separated the two.

This stone platform divided the two cliffs, but also caused the violent, roaring, destructive winds on one side, and the vague sounds of thunder and flash of lightning on the other side, though there was no sound of wind.

This was the origin of the Wind Thunder Platform!

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