Chapter 1238 - I am Chu Kuangren.
Chapter 1238: I am Chu Kuangren.
Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
What the little kid said was not wrong at all.
However…. was this something that a child who was not even one and a half years old could speak of?
“Oh~~~~” Chu Yang covered his forehead and retreated in total defeat against the little kid.
Who had never seen a one-year-old child before? Which one of them was not messed up with their poop and pee everywhere? Even when they addressed their grandmother [pronounced as ‘Nai Nai’ in Chinese], they would call them ‘Ai Ai’ and their mother [pronounced as ‘Ma Ma’ in Chinese] would be called ‘Man Man’…
They would often wear a diaper. With some carelessness, they would pee on your body. When they were unhappy, they would poop on your pants…
At this age, whoever could clearly and fluently address their relatives and seniors correctly, they would already be considered a surprise and above everyone’s expectations.
However, this son of Chu Yang, he was obviously much more developed and was worlds apart from the stereotypical image of a one-year-old child!
He was so mature to the stage that he could discuss with Chu Yang about life, dreams or even the matters of wooing a woman…
Chu Yang felt that these were definitely possible.
He also felt that in front of his monstrous son, he could even discuss the fate of this world, the state of development in the Nine Heavens… They all seemed to be possible.
It was usually Chu Yang who gave surprises to others. This time around, he was stunned by his own one-year-old son during their first meeting. Now he was dizzy and confused from the shock.
Right now, this little kid was just in his arms. Yet the little kid was addressing him in a mature and old tone: Old Chu, do you understand?
Chu Yang was in a dilemma and he said, “I don’t understand… How do you expect me to understand this? Son, you are only one year and two months old…”
Tie Yang lifted up his tiny face and said, “Old Chu, in this world, there is a kind of people known as genius!”
This time, Chu Yang rapidly nodded his head, like a chicken pecking on the rice grains.
It seemed like this son of his, it would be a sin not to call him a genius. However… the son was so much of a genius that he was almost monster-like.
“Son, could it be that you are the rebirth of an old man?” Chu Yang suddenly looked at this little child with scrutiny and thought of his own experiences in rebirth. He started to feel weird and asked cautiously.
“With your kind of brain, you also know about rebirth?” Tie Yang snorted and added, “If an old man possessed my body, that is not considered a rebirth… it is the possession of my body! A newly born child can never be possessed, you know that? The moment that is done, both of their souls would be destroyed totally! Do you know that?”
Chu Yang scratched his head and asked, “Then what exactly is going on with you?”
Tie Yang heaved a deep sigh and replied slowly, “Old Chu, I can only say that… it was a very wonderful thing that happened to me. Hmm, when I was in the process of reincarnation, my luck was really good. My true spirit was not destroyed and certain things did not disappear with the reincarnation process. However, the matter of me being your son is a fact… over this, you can be reassured. Otherwise, I would not dare to expose myself like this in front of you…”
“Why is it that you would dare to expose yourself only if I were your father?” Chu Yang was very puzzled.
The little kid replied gravely, “Old Chu, that is because you would be able to accept it.”
“What did you call me?” Chu Yang’s eyebrows lifted up.
“Old Chu… To be addressed as Old by me, that is already an achievement.” The little kid looked at Chu Yang with a ‘You should feel honored for me to address you as Old’ kind of look. At the same time, his look was that of an approving, commending and acknowledging kind of expression.
“You little son of a b*tch! Call me father!” Minister Chu was addressed as Old Chuee times continuously and now he finally reacted to it. He was furious and shouted angrily. He thought in his mind, ‘You little bastard, you really think you can ignore all laws and regulations?’
‘Old Chu? Do you even deserve to call me Old Chu?!’
‘And I’m even supposed to be honored?’
The little kid twisted his face in agony and said, “It is your authority to scold or hit me, I cannot deprive you of your only enjoyment as a father. However, you cannot call me a little bastard. I am your son, if I become a little bastard… Then aren’t you a…”
“Then I would really slap your ass hard!” Before the sentence could finish, Chu Yang had already flipped the kid over furiously and gave a tight slap to the fat and tender little buttock!
Smack!
“I would stop saying that!” The little kid was really able to read the current situation as he quickly shut his mouth. A wise man knows better than to fight when the odds are against him.
“Let’s see if you still dare to call me Old Chu?” Chu Yang was all majestic-looking and full of murderous intentions, totally showing off his dignity as a father. However, he felt a little heartache when he saw the five fingerprints on the kid’s buttocks, red and tender. He kept consoling himself that this little bastard was monster-like and could definitely take the beating!
“You’re in trouble.” After being slapped, the little guy did not cry, but instead gave a gloating look to Chu Yang and said, “The slap must have left handprints on my buttocks, right?
The little guy gave another gloating look to Chu Yang and said, “Let’s see who would suffer more later!”
Chu Yang panicked and hurriedly stepped back. “Ancestor… You are not my son, you are my dear ancestor.”
The little face of Tie Yang was full of evil smiles. “Not just this! If it’s only like this, then wouldn’t it be letting you off too easily? You wanted to build up a relationship… I can totally destroy all the chances that you would ever have. Even if you managed to build up a little of it from your sweet-talking, with me around, that would turn into dust easily!”
“With me around, you can forget about getting together with your beauty! All because of this slap!” said the little guy fiercely.
“My dear ancestor…” Chu Yang wanted to cry, but had no tears.
Chu Yang thought in his mind, ‘F*ck, other fathers could just scold or beat their child as they wanted. Yet, my own child is so different that he is actually threatening me…’
‘Is there still a natural order of things?’
“Do you surrender?” The little guy looked at his own father playfully.
“I surrender,” Chu Yang replied depressingly.
“Do you think that with a restless and non-convincing word of surrender, it would be sufficient to make the palm print disappear?” The little guy was being pushy, now that he thought he was right. “You wish!”
“What should I do exactly so that you would stop pursuing this matter?” Chu Yang lowered his voice and asked while gritting his teeth.
“Two conditions. As long as you promise me those two, I will not just listen to you, but also address you as my father from now onwards. Furthermore, I would be responsible for helping you to woo my mother, who is your wife!” The little guy extended two fair and tender fingers and dangled it in front of Chu Yang.
Looking at the two fingers dangling in front, Minister Chu’s had mixed feelings in his mind, as if he had just toppled five different seasoning bottles. The various tastes of sour, sweet, bitter and spicy all rushed up together. Chu Yang felt like crying all of a sudden.
If his brothers were to know that he had surrendered to a one-year-old kid… Gu Duxing, Dong Wushang and Mo Tianji would probably just laugh until they sustain an internal injury. However, Ji Mo, Luo Kedi and the others would be sure to laugh so hard until they pass out!
Especially Rui Butong, he would definitely laugh until his cultivation was expanded! A few times even! That was without a doubt!
“What are the conditions?” Chu Yang’s mood was dry and heavy as he surrendered to the little guy.
He thought in his mind, ‘F*ck, I will punish you next time!’
‘I am already so experienced in life, I’m sure I will be able to take care of you little guy!’
“My first question, to pick a name for myself shouldn’t be an issue, right?” Tie Yang scorned. “Like right now, Tie Yang [The character’s name in Chinese characters has a similar name to that of a poplar tree] is such an awful name. No matter how strong or upright a poplar tree may be, isn’t it still just a tree? It is still a pile of firewood… My mother’s skill in picking a name is really terrible!”
Chu Yang’s palms were a little itchy again. He forcefully held back his urge to give the little guy a tight slap and swallowed his saliva, before saying, “That can be negotiated.”
“Although my mother gave me the name in memory of you, she should not have made my name a joke.” The little guy comfortably extended his legs. The fair and fat little leg, looking like several sections of the lotus roots, was extended out and the little guy used his big toe to touch Chu Yang’s chin. “A name is very important, it concerns the future and therefore, something more domineering will be better.”
“Something domineering?” Chu Yang was stunned. “Then how about Chu Batian [Batian in Chinese characters refer to being domineering of the Heavens]?”
“Tacky! Vulgar! Tacky beyond my tolerance!” The little guy was furious. “Then why not call Chu Chitian [Chitian in Chinese characters refers to eating the Heavens], what is Batian? I can even eat up the Heavens.”
“Then you shall be called Chu Chitian!” Chu Yang gave a final verdict.
“You are kidding right….” The little guy was totally speechless. “This is not the way, even if you are fawning over me…”
“This shall be it!” Chu Yang said without a doubt, “Your nickname will be called Gou Dan [Gou Dan in chinese characters literally refers to a dog’s bollocks!”
“I object!” The little guy kicked his feet.
“Objection is overruled!” Chu Yang snorted.
The little guy rolled his eyes and said, “But, my mother is called Tie Butian… I cannot have a name that is similar to hers… Furthermore, she nourishes the Heavens, I eat the Heavens… for our names to clash, that is unfilial of me.”
“Then you shall be called Chu Chidi [Chidi in Chinese characters refers to eating the Earth].” Chu Yang had already thought of this name in mind. He thought, ‘You little rascal, you actually know what is being unfilial.’ Chu Yang then added, “Chu Chishi [Chishi in Chinese characters refers to eating feces] is the most domineering! Definitely not a similar name to her!”
“Huhu…” The little guy really wanted to cry.
“Then, what would you like to be called?” Chu Yang asked modestly.
“I like to be crazy, then I shall be called Chu Kuang [Kuang in Chinese character refers to crazy]?” The little guy realized that Chu Yang was obviously not someone easy to deal with. Therefore, he adopted a negotiating tone.
“Chu Kuang…” Chu Yang said, “It’s lacking a little charm in rhyme.”
“Chu Kuangtu [Kuangtu in Chinese characters refers to a crazy person]?” The little guy was persistent and continued to discuss the same topic. “Otherwise, how about Chu Kuangren [Kuangren in Chinese characters refers to a crazy man]?”
Chu Yang fainted.
He thought in his mind, ‘What are all these messed up names?’
‘How did he think of all these?’
“Just these two, choose one out of the two.” The little guy did a slight comparison and said, “In this way, I shall be called Chu Kuangren. Regarding the change of name, once you had dealt with my mother, who is your wife, you will go and tell her. Just tell her that you had thought of this name. Make sure the name is changed.”
Quickly and easily, the name had already been decided!
A moment ago, it was still a decision between the two names. Now, even that decision making was gone.
Chu Yang as the father could only stare widely, his authority of even participating in the name selection was being deprived of.
At this moment, the choking with resentment was immense, until Chu Yang continuously panted. “I f*ck your mother… You little rascal… This is simply intolerable!”
The little guy snorted and tilted his head in disdain. “If you hadn’t done that… you wouldn’t have me now.”
Chu Yang was momentarily overwhelmed with anger and he babbled on furiously, “What do you know! That one, I was the one being f*cked…”
“You were f*cked?” The little guy was startled and looked at his father. Suddenly, he opened his mouth and began to laugh out loudly.
Who knew that a one-year-old child would use such a nerve-wracking expression with eyes of astonishment and also laughing out so frankly and boldly… What a scene!
Chu Yang’s face blackened.
Hurriedly, Chu Yang changed the topic. “Why must you be called Chu Kuangren?”
The little guy took a breath and used a deep and pretentious tone to reply slowly, “I’ve always been like the crazy man of Chu, singing satires on Confucian ideals. In my hand is a cane as green as jade, as I bid farewell to the Tower of Yellow Storks at daybreak…”