Death… and me

Tan Tan kept speaking in amazement in the following few days. In fact, he wanted to retain the same 'shocked' expression on his face… regardless of whether he was walking or eating.

He would often gasp and yell out these two words, "Whoa! Master!"

Every time Meng Chao Ran heard these two words, 'Whoa, Master', he got struck by a splitting headache.

But, he was forced to endure this. He felt as if each day was as long as a year. Initially, he had heaved a sigh of relief after they had crossed the road stretching alongside the Ice Mirror Mountain. However, Tan Tan still continued to cause a ruckus. He kept shouting and wrangling all along.

Meng Chao Ran's misery was beyond description.

Even the Divine Chi Gathering Fish in Tan Tan's bosom flipped over inside the fish bowl, and revealed its white belly over the water surface; even the fish couldn't endure such non-stop barrage of narcissism and shamelessness…

They heard sounds of a battle taking place close-by just as they were walking out of the Ice Mirror Mountain. Meng Chao Ran was an experienced man. So, he put his hand on Tan Tan's mouth to shut him up. Then, they quietly moved towards the source of the sound.

They went around the mountain wall. Then, they saw that a young girl was fighting fiercely with a strange three-headed giant snake. The young woman held a long and gleaming sword in her right hand; she held a short translucent saber in her left hand. She was fighting rather fiercely. In fact, she even crashed head-on into the three-headed giant snake.

However, the fight was already nearing its end by the time Meng Chao Ran and Tan Tan had arrived.

"A Three-Headed-Blackboned-Snake!" Meng Chao Ran recognized the snake in just a glimpse. It was one of the different kinds of the spirit beast species found at the Cang Lan Battlefront. This snake was just a Third Grade Spirit Beast, but the 'essence cores' found inside its three heads were considered as a rare medicine.

The young maiden seemed to be very experienced if one were to judge by the way she was dealing with the Three-Headed-Blackboned-Snake. After all, there were cuts and bruises all over its body.

Tan Tan was awe-struck upon watching the young woman fight. His mouth had unknowingly curved into the shape of the letter 'O'. He wasn't just pretending to be shocked this time… He was genuinely stunned. [This young lady looks almost my age, ah… How is she so powerful?]

Tan Tan was unaware that he too could handle this Three-Headed-Blackboned-Snake without much difficulty at his present level; it certainly wouldn't endanger his life in any manner.

"Master, this girl is very beautiful!" Tan Tan turned around with an astonished expression on his face. He looked at his master and said, "I like how strong she is! And, just look at her big chest and that big round butt!"

Meng Chao Ran was left speechless upon hearing this…

Indeed, this young lady had nothing else to show off about her beauty apart from her big chest and buttocks. Even Meng Chao Ran felt that her looks were only average.

However, Tan Tan was right about one thing — she was very powerful. Even a sturdy warrior would find it difficult to implement her moves after watching her fight so dauntlessly… Moreover, she was doing it without blinking an eye!

The girl spoke while spitting as she fought with the beast, "…Evil beast! Why haven't you knelt down in front of me yet? You should have voluntarily laid down your heads by now…you abominable beast…so vile and repulsive!"

"This beauty is quite violent!" Meng Chao Ran murmured to himself.

Meng Chao Ran turned around since he got no reply from his disciple. He then saw that Tan Tan was staring at this young woman blankly; even his mouth was wide open. In fact, Tan Tan seemed to be totally lost in his thoughts.

[Poor Tan Tan fell in love at the first sight…]

"Don't tell me…!" Meng Chao Ran was astonished.

This happened much faster than the time taken to describe – the Three-Headed-Blackboned-Snake knew that it would be difficult for it to escape today. So, it hissed loudly and slapped its tail on the ground. This vicious whip was aimed at the young girl in the hope of taking her down in a suicidal attack.

"Ah!" The young maiden cried out in fear. She cursed out loud, "Damn it! You stinky snake! You Rascal! I tell you, you have successfully angered me now…"

Bam! The girl and the snake slammed against each other. Simultaneously, the Three- Headed-Blackboned-Snake opened all its mouths wide in order to bite her.

"This is not good!" Meng Chao Ran couldn't finish the line; nor was he able to hold on to Tan Tan. Tan Tan had already leaped out by now. He was evidently burning with anxiety, "Beauty! I am coming to save you, haha…"

Tan Tan had once heard from Chu Yang about 'a hero saving a beauty', [The beauty gets touched by the hero's valor when he saves her. Then, they both start liking each other. The beauty devotes her life to him. And then… the story of their amiable love shall be spoken for all eternity!]

Tan Tan had always dreamt about living such a nice dream. Today, he had finally come across such an opportunity. Moreover, he had fallen in love with this maiden upon the very first sight; then how could he not rush forward to play a hero's role?

However, the young girl obviously had the means to deal with the snake. The short saber departed from her hand as the snake leaped towards her. The saber pierced one of the snake's throats. Simultaneously, her long sword gashed its way into the snake's second mouth, and continued to pierce deeper until the handle of the sword had gone inside. The snake's blood splashed out everywhere as a result…

She was about to take out a short saber hidden in her bosom to kill the last head of the snake. But, this is when she heard Tan Tan yell…

Tan Tan's voice was quite loud and terrifying; it sounded like the sound of a gong, mixed with a male duck's quack and a female wolf's howling! The young maiden got startled upon hearing his voice, and was thrown into disarray. She slowed down a bit, and was unable to pull out her short saber in time. Consequently, she ended up getting entangled by the snake's body.

"Where did this b*****d come from? And, why is he shouting?" the young girl shouted. She used her one 'available' hand to shield herself from the last head of the snake since it was about to attack her.

The Three-Headed-Blackboned-Snake had received two fatal hits in a very short time. It could lose its life any time now. However, it got even more furious, and came hissing towards the young maiden in order to bite her. Its mouth had an awfully fishy smell.

And, Tan Tan arrived right at that moment!

'Saber Slash'!

'Shua'! He beheaded one of the snake's head with a slash of his saber. The head then fell to the ground.

"Go for this head; not that one!" The young maiden spat out blood as she thought, [Is this guy a fool? Can't he see that this head is the most dangerous one right now?]

"Oh!" Tan Tan replied. He roared loudly, and slashed with his saber again.

Saber light shot out as smooth as white silk!

Yet another snake head was chopped down, and fell to the ground.

"What the f*ck!" the young maiden went mad, and ended up cursing him in a manly slur. Strings of saliva spat out of her clenched teeth as she cursed again, "This one! You pig!"

"Well, there should be a sequence for stuff like this!" Tan Tan retorted angrily. "What is your name?"

Tan Tan thought, [This woman can't differentiate between good and bad… This handsome brother has come here to save you… And, you're abusing him in return… You're even calling him a pig?] He nearly thought of giving up on rescuing her…

Tan Tan was seeing a Three-Headed-Blackboned-Snake for the first time; so how would he know which of its heads were already dead? He had just seen that this young maiden was using one of her hands to block a snake head, while the remaining two heads seemed to be endangering her. Hence, he had decided to get rid of them first…

The young lady did all she could to support the remaining head of the snake. She heaved a sigh of relief. [This guy has chopped down the other two heads. So, he will chop down this last one too, right?]

However, she didn't see or hear any movements for quite some time. So, she turned her head angrily as she couldn't hold-on any longer. However, she saw that the boy was standing happily, and watching from the side. Moreover, he cheered loudly when he saw the girl turn towards him, "Come on girl! You can do it!"

[Nothing in this world could be more annoying than this!]

"Ugh…" The young maiden couldn't hold-on any longer, and fell unconscious.

She thought before she fell unconscious, [I didn't die from the bite of the Three-Headed-Blackboned-Snake; nor was I poisoned. I am dying out of anger because of this abominable scoundrel who messes things up. He causes nothing but trouble…]

[My surname won't be Xie… if I don't torture him to death in my next life…]

The young maiden started to weaken owing to her dizziness. Her hand slipped, and the snake's head advanced towards her.

Tan Tan suddenly realized, [F*ck me! So she was referring to 'this' head earlier…]

"Ahwooh!" He leaped forward in a hurry.

'Shua!'

Tan Tan's saber chopped the last head of the snake, and it fell off. He took the opportunity to kick the head away.

"Just hurry up, and save her already!" Meng Chao Ran shouted.

"Oh…right…right…" Tan Tan replied repeatedly. He pulled her body out of the snake's entanglement. The snake's body was as thick as a thigh, which caused Tan Tan to drool all over. He even said, "Geez, so fat…!" while taking her out.

However, it was hard to say whom he was referring to as 'fat'— the snake or the girl.

The young maiden regained her senses as the cool breeze blew against her face, "I didn't die?"

"You most certainly didn't! I saved you," a strange voice stated.

The young maiden turned her head and saw a 'shocked' face staring at her.

[Eh? It seems like that guy with crooked eyebrow from a while ago is not here anymore.]

The young maiden asked as she got up, "Where is that scoundrel I saw earlier?"

Tan Tan asked in an 'astonished' manner, "What scoundrel?"

"The b*****d who killed this snake!" The young maiden stomped her feet in anger as she looked around for him.

"There's no b*****d here!" Tan Tan replied in a 'shocked' tone.

The young maiden asked, "Did he leave?"

"No!" a 'shocked' Tan Tan answered.

The young lady asked, "Then where is he?" She had started feeling amiss by now, [Why are you giving me such a 'shocked' look over a normal conversation?]

"He is here!" Tan Tan still had the 'shocked' expression on his face. He said, "It is me!"

"Huh…" a strange voice came out of her throat as she stared at his face.

"What are you looking at?" Tan Tan asked with a 'shocked' expression.

"It's clearly not you…" The young maiden frowned.

"It is me!" Tan Tan said with a 'shocked' expression, "Young lady, I saved you… It really was me!"

The young girl almost collapsed. She barely managed to ask, "Why are you in shock if you saved me…?"

Tan Tan said in his usual 'shocked' tone, "Young Lady, don't you think that I look incredibly handsome?"

"What about the snake? Where is it?" The girl felt defeated. So, she changed the topic. In fact, she had even forgotten her rage owing to his puzzling facial expression.

"Over there!" Tan Tan said, "I helped you in venting your anger as well…"

"Ah, ah, ah…" The young woman finally saw the badly mutilated snake heads lying on the ground. They had been turned into minced meat. "You… you…"

"That's right… it's me!" Tan Tan mixed his 'shocked' expression with a complacent look. "This stinky snake dared to harm you… So, I smashed it! I smashed all three of its heads…"

"Oh God… heavens…" The girl stomped her feet in grief and anger. "Kill me… just kill me… What kind of a monster have I encountered today!"

"It's just a snake, Young Miss. You don't need to make so much fuss about it. It surely had three heads. But, it was just a snake. It's not like it was a dog," Tan Tan explained while still in 'shock'.

"I will kill you, ah…" The girl jumped at him with the ferocity of a tigress. She clutched his neck firmly with her hands, and shook him back and forth violently. She said, "You pig! You smashed the snake's heads… You smashed the snake's heads… after I spent all my strength into killing it?"

Tan Tan stuck his tongue out as he got choked. His 'shocked' expression instantly disappeared, "Gi… uh… ggg… ggg… uhh… gi… girl… I… I… I… what… wrong?"