Death… and me

The three of them looked on the opposite side, and they felt that it was an unfathomable mystery.

Ji Mo moved the corners of his mouth. He nearly laughed. [Dammit! This is the first time I'm seeing an ambush with buttocks.]

A burst of wind blew from the south. And, faint whispers come through along with the wind.

"…Why haven't they come…"

"…don't worry… they must've stopped over on the way…"

"…attention… what is over there?"

"…fu*k me… it's a rabbit…"

"…Fu*k your mother's pu*sy…"

…

The corners of Chu Yang's mouth twitched.

Both the third grade Martial Emperors suddenly stood up. It seemed that they had sensed something. They suspiciously looked around. Then, they shook their heads and smiled as if they were mocking themselves. Then, they went over to the either sides of the division to examine the ambush's set up.

They had a very attentive appearance.

Chu Yang, Gu Du Xing, and Ji Mo became even more confused. [We are here… behind your buttocks. Why do you keep inspecting your front?]

They only heard one of the Martial Emperors asking in a sinking voice, "Have you checked the poisonous zone? It hasn't lost its effectiveness, has it?"

A King Level Expert behind a tree replied in a low voice, "Elder, please don't worry. I have already checked it three times. I have even added twice as much poison in that area. So, this is a sure-fire. There's no issue."

"Um, you must ensure that it doesn't get discovered in advance. Only surrounding them won't be sufficient. These fellows are very vigilant. They will slip away if they sense any sign of trouble. We must ensure that it's done properly this time," this Martial Emperor nodded and reminded.

"Yes."

The two people wobbled their heads, and returned to their original spots.

Chu Yang quietly lay low in the underbrush. He was motionless. So, it was obvious that Gu Du Xing and Ji Mo would also follow suit.

Suddenly, two black-robed men stood up from their ambush spots. They came forth and made a signal.

A Martial Emperor knitted his brows. Then, he shouted in a low voice, "What are you two doing?"

"Eh… going to take a piss."

The Martial Emperor exposed a look of disgust on his face. He waved his hand, and said in a bad mood, "Move away a little further."

The two ninth grade Revered Martial Artists repeatedly nodded and complied. They then walked backwards. Their feet landed on dead leaves, and issued crunching sounds as they moved more than three-hundred feet away. They then stopped at the path that had been camouflaged under forest trees.

One of them said, "Dammit, it has been half-a-month here, and we haven't seen a shadow yet."

The other man sighed as he untied his belt, "Wait, it's good that they haven't come. After all, who in that damned group would be easy to deal with?"

"Yes, that's true." That previous one opened his zip, and took out his 'chap'. He closed his eyes, held his breath, and was ready to shoot.

Sound of Pitter-Patter came…

Second Master Ji got angry!

He had lain down in the underbrush. So, he couldn't move. But, these two guys had unexpectedly walked towards his direction. Then, they had stopped there. Ji Mo had opened the slits of his eyes, and he could clearly see four legs dressed in black right before him.

Then, an arrow of water had fallen right upon the left side of his face along with smell of urine and steam. Its force was also quite acute.

The warm liquid was splashed drop by drop along with a strong steaming heat. And, it got splashed on the Second Master Ji's cheek.

Second Master Ji blew his top!

Then, another arrow of water fell on the right cheek of Second Master Ji along with the smell of urine…

Second Master Ji couldn't tolerate it anymore! He had been feeling nauseated before. But, the first stream of water was at least glistening white. But, this one was like a yellow river. It looked like the piss of a sick man. Moreover, its smell was even stronger…

Ji Mo felt grief and indignation at the moment. [The three of us are lying in the same place. But, why did both of you have to piss on me alone? Are you trying to bully me or something?]

He got even madder. He finally couldn't take it anymore. So, he stood up with a whooshing sound.

These two Revered martial Artists had closed their eyes, and were taking a piss of satisfaction. They peed to their heart's content for some time. They cleared out the stock that they had held back for a very long time. And, they felt indescribably comfortable as a result. How could they think that they had been showering a living person while urinating?

This was very shocking for them. So, they opened their eyes. Then, their pearl-like eyes popped out of their sockets. And, they became very nervous. The arrows of water had been shot with full strength and urgency until now. However, they had suddenly lost strength. So, the urine went into the crotch of their trousers with dripping sounds. And then, the stream lost its fuel…

They were about to scream. But, the infuriated Second Master Ji had already clutched their throats. A very slight cracking sound was heard, and the napes of their necks were strangely crooked to one side. Second Master Ji's frantic vigour had burst into their meridians, and had sealed the movement of the lower halves of their bodies.

Therefore, the bodies of these two men only shivered twice as they died a violent death.

His hands were still upwards until this moment. And, it seemed as if he had clutched birds in his hands. However, pitter-patter sounds were heard before he could change the position of his hands… The streams which had been interrupted because of their owners getting a fright a while ago… had again ejected since the owners had lost consciousness. So, they continued to spray out…

None of it went waste. All of it got sprayed on Second Master Ji's trouser…

Second Master Ji tilted his head and crooked his eyes. He clenched his teeth in hatred. But, he didn't dare to make a sound.

A voice came from a distant place, "What's going on?" This person had heard the sound of activity from this side.

Second Master Ji was stunned. [How should I reply?]

Suddenly, a low and deep voice angrily answered, "This bastard pissed on my pants." It was the voice of the dead Revered Martial Artist who had earlier spoken first.

Ji Mo was flabbergasted by this. So, he turned his head, but he only saw Chu Yang opening and closing his mouth. It was Chu Yang who had spoken this!

It was a rare sight to see King of Hell Chu imitating the voice of that person so perfectly.

Ji Mo came to realization. So, he hastily and vaguely mumbled to himself, "I wasn't being careless… I didn't do it intentionally… what are you mad about…"

Chu Yang retorted, "Not being careless? Both my trouser legs got wet…"

Ji Mo nearly felt hurt inside. [It's me whose fu*king pants got wet dammit.]

A loud noise came from that side as some people laughed in a low voice. They were taking joy in other's misfortune. That Martial Emperor didn't know whether to laugh or cry as he scolded them. Then, no one uttered a voice anymore.

But, the other people became restless. They then heard a person saying in a low voice, "Why did the guy pee on the other's trousers?" this voice was full of artificial intrigue.

Another person muttered while deeply thinking, "I guess that the urine got diverted."

"But, why would the urine get diverted?" It seemed as if that man was even more amazed than before. In fact, it was as if he simply couldn't comprehend this.

"There can be a couple of reasons behind it…" the other person's pondering voice said.

"What reason?" the amazed voice continued to interrogate in detail.

"Well, one of the reason could be… that he suddenly recalled 'something' before going to sleep last night. But, he clearly doesn't have the right place for doing that here… So, he must've held it in out of distress. An abnormality can easily appear if you hold in for too long… Um, then… he probably must've drunk a lot of water in the morning. And thus, his urine got deviated!"– said the seriously pondering voice.

"Oh, I see! That's such a shame! But, what is the second reason?"

"The second reason is hard to explain… Well you see… some people have to use a bizarre way of peeing when they don't get those means for a very long time. So, they hold their pike in their hands, and charge and breakthrough the enemy lines. They then use various means to wipe out their inner demons… And, they easily become prone to getting tired and weak after wiping out their inner demons. Um, such period of weakness can basically make the urine to deviate…"

"It is such a penetrating insight ah. Still, shame… such a shame!"

"You're flattering me…"

Laughter rose up from everywhere with a bang. No one dared to laugh loudly, but everyone was suddenly in somewhat of an uproar. Many people were silently laughing while rolling on the ground. Their whole bodies were shaking and convulsing as a result.

Chu Yang, Gu Du Xing, and Ji Mo were also amazed by this… [This is a group of fu*king talented people!]

[It seems like these guys have been restraining themselves very hard. Someone else is taking a piss over there, and this guy is telling philosophies while giving a long analysis. In fact, it seems as if he's teaching a very important lesson…]

Chu Yang stood up. Ji Mo gently let go of the two corpses.

Then, Chu Yang went forward while issuing whooshing sounds. He mumbled to himself and complained in a low voice, "Fu*k! Look at my trousers. It's wet and cold now. What did I do to deserve this? How fortunate that you guys are still laughing and feeling happy…"

More sounds of laughter were heard as soon as he said this. A few people even turned their heads. "It's obviously because you two have a shitty karma…"

These people had turned their heads, but they only saw the black clothes of Chu Yang and Ji Mo. They didn't see their faces. After all, the faces of both the men were masked in the shade of trees…

Someone even ridiculed them, "Do you two feel such deep emotions towards each other that you take a piss while standing so close to each other…"

Everyone started laughing after he said this.

Chu Yang approached this fellow at the extreme edge with a smile. He was walking and speaking along the way. However, he was imitating the voice so perfectly that no one could discover that it was an imitation. Therefore, nobody paid attention that he had slightly diverted from his direction.

"Damn it. I am telling you that I'm never peeing with him from next time…" Chu Yang softly laughed. He showed that he was somewhat regretting, somewhat humiliated, and somewhat angry. But, he had taken out his sword. He then silently moved toward the nearest guy who was present thirty feet away, and pierced through his ribs. He pierced his heart, and pierced his lungs. And, that man's body got firmly nailed to the ground as a result.

This person hadn't kept his guard up. After all, who would've thought that his own comrade would plot an evil scheme against him? This man had been taking joy in others misfortune and laughing a moment ago. But, his ribs were aching right now. He was about to shout in pain when blood suddenly gushed into his lungs…

Then, a strong and fierce vitality broke into the meridians of his body. And, it gained control over his central nervous system. Then, his eyes silently stuck out… And, his breath seized to exist.

Chu Yang grinned with annoyance. He then walked while smiling and cussing, "Look at you guys… someone got urinated on his trousers and you guys are laughing instead of getting angry at the one who did it?"

He was laughing out loud while speaking. Then, he calmed his smile and pretended to be somewhat resentful. He had secretly drawn out his sword from the body of the guy he had just killed. Then, he stuck it behind his thigh.

Then, he shook his head, and sighed as he angrily walked towards another person who was behind a rock. He was talking relaxed steps, and each step was landing heavily on the ground. Therefore, it looked like he was walking in his own base camp.

Ji Mo followed behind him. He felt his heart pounding wildly.

[Oh my god, I've truly experienced what is called 'invisible kill' amidst this chatter today. The toughest thing is being genuinely relaxed before and after killing. He doesn't make any effort. He doesn't expose any traces of his murderous aura!]

The man behind the rock was having an intense stomach-ache from all the laughing. He was also the one who had laughed the most.

Chu Yang angrily scolded, "This isn't a fu*king joke. You look like a damn seal while laughing. Is it that much fun to be laughing at me, huh? I will teach you a lesson today!"

Then, he brazenly and swiftly pounced on this man with an intense 'whoosh' sound of the rushing wind.

….