Death… and me

"She was only a daughter of the owner of a tea field. Although her family was extremely wealthy, they couldn't be compared with our Chu clan. In addition, she did not come from a martial family and was a very, very ordinary woman… So, my father was against my relationship with her and forced me to end our relationship. Instead, he arranged an allied marriage for me."

The elder smiled with pride, "I was the first direct heir of the clan then. But I only said one sentence: If you dare to do so, I'll rather die!"

"My father was so angry that he walked off with a flick on his sleeves. Then, I relegated my identity in the family, so that my second brother became the heir of the family. Seeing that I was so decisive, my father had no choice but to accept my decision."

The elder smiled calmly.

Chu Yang smacked his lips. While the elder looked indifferent when he said this, Chu Yang could completely imagine what a storm the elder had stirred up then!

"Next, I was able to immerse myself in happiness… I spent my time either practicing martial arts or be with her. Occasionally, I would bring her out into the martial society to relax ourselves… Finally, I met my three brothers."

"Together, we sought for treasures, fight and muck about the martial society. From teenagers, we gradually grew old…"

The elder smiled calmly, "My cultivation improved day by day. For whatever I did, I always stayed calm."

"I don't have time to be merciless, nor do I have the opportunity to cultivate through the path of heartlessness," the elder smiled slightly, "It was only after a long time did I realize that my method of cultivation had deviated from the traditional way of martial practices. Or I can even say that it had already run counter to all martial practices."

"Afterwards, my cultivation did not have any improvement for fifteen years! I was always distressed by this, and thought whether I needed to change my method of practice."

The elder smiled, his eyes full of recollection, "At that time, I first met Ning Tianya. I didn't know his identity then, and only thought that he was an old herbalist."

"When he saw me, he was sitting on the cliff. He asked me what happened to me. Having no one else to confide the troubles I had within me, and only thinking of him as an ordinary elder, I revealed my problems to him wholeheartedly."

The elder laughed, "After Ning Tianya finished listening to me, he said: Have you killed whoever you should kill?"

"At that time, I said: Why should I not kill those who should be killed?"

"He said: Since you can kill people, are you following the path of heartlessness or the path of sentiment? I said: If I don't kill the bad guys, I would be leaving them to harm the good ones. He smiled and said: If this is the case, you've been following the path of sentiment!"

Chu Yang was immersed in the elder's talk. He felt that his heart suddenly jerked when he heard this sentence.

"I didn't recover from my stupor even after he left for a long while. It was three years from then did I finally realize that there's no such thing as the path of sentiment or the path of heartlessness. What matters is the reason for one's cultivation, the reason behind him killing people, and whether he feels composed, happy or angry after killing them."

"If one follows the so-called path of heartlessness, it means he would kill people for the sake of it. He would attack his adversary once their words don't match. This way, day by day, a heart that is as cold as ice would be developed within them. For them, everything is considered from their point of safety. They deem martial capabilities above everything else and feel that strongmen are to be respected! Over time, an arrogant and self-centered personality would be cultivated in them, causing them to lose their own nature and heart."

"While people who take the path of sentiment also loot and kill people, their starting points are different. They wouldn't offend people who don't offend them. But if they were offended, they wouldn't feel guilty at all to kill those who offend them! This way, while similarly being self-centered, this self-centeredness encompassed more meanings."

"This is what differentiates the path of sentiment and that of heartlessness. Those who took the path of heartlessness are conceited, ruthless and have a thirst for blood, and these form their inner demons. But the inner demons have great benefits for the practitioners, as the inner demons would leave the people free from unnecessary obsessions so that they would concentrate on working towards their peak. This is why cultivating with the path of heartlessness is faster! But it has its own limits. Although I can't understand what's the limit with my current level of cultivation, I can feel that such heartlessness will limit one's cultivation! Because it doesn't fit the law of nature…"

"And for those who took the path of sentiment, no one has ever reached the peak. This is because… The path of sentiment requires one to always have a spiritual form of sustenance when he sinks into his emotions. Some people found themselves disoriented, collapsed or have their true feelings worn out halfway. When they forget about their past, they will stop progressing for the rest of their lives."

The elder smiled with pride, "The reason why they were not successful in cultivating with the path of sentiment is that their love and feelings aren't deep enough! Thus, when their spouses passed away, they could still think of their spouses temporarily. But, over time, they would forget about their spouses…"

"Time and oblivion are the most terrible things in the world…"

"If you cultivate by taking the path of sentiment, yet you forget about your sentiments… How would you be successful?"

Chu Yang suddenly realized: Taking the path of sentiment but forgetting about one's own past…

"Although my wife had passed away, I always feel that she is on my side. Her teacup, tea leaves, breath and gaze… are as always."

"So, while you may feel bitter or think that I'm suffering as I live here, in fact… I'm enjoying my life here. Because no one would be bothering us…"

"I have a calm mind. Although I don't focus much on practicing martial arts, my level of cultivation still improved by leaps and bounds."

The elder sighed with some tiredness, "This is my path of sentiment. It stems from deep love!"

"But you if you practice with the path of sentiment, you should have your own version of it."

…

Chu Yang had left the cottage for a very long time. But he lingered about the desolate forest outside the backyard for quite some while.

What the elder had said was his own path of sentiment. And it was said very vaguely. This had blurred Chu Yang's vision in the illusion, and he could not fathom what the elder meant about the path of sentiment

He seemed to feel that he realized something, but again he felt that he did not sense anything. It was obscure: It was obviously visible, but untouchable.

"The path of sentiment… the path of heartlessness…" the dead leaves rustled under Chu Yang's feet, as he deeply ruminated over the elder's words.

The sky turned dark and night fell.

The moon arose from the East and sank in the West… The sun appeared and brightened the Heaven and the Earth… and such cycle repeated over and over again…

When Chu Yang finally felt exhausted, he had already been in the forest for three days. He fell down onto the ground and only felt his legs were numbed, as if they were about to break from his own body.

It turned out that in these three days, he had been pondering and unconsciously walking around the forest in circles, and his feet had never rested for a moment. He did not know how many thousands or hundreds of miles he had already completed…

He could not use his own cultivation now, so he was literally just an ordinary person. It would be a wonder if he didn't feel any pain.

He still pondered on even though he sat down, and suddenly he asked, "Sword spirit, have you understood?"

The sword spirit smiled, "You have to comprehend this realm by yourself! I would be ruining your path of sentiment if I say it."

"I can't comprehend it for the time being," Chu Yang shook his head, "I thought of a lot, but I think that they're too troublesome, and they don't form my path of sentiment."

He gave a long sigh, "I finally understood the sentence which the elder said: We can't differentiate the path of sentiment and that of heartlessness without reaching a certain realm. I've probably not reached that realm as of now…"

The sword spirit did not say anything.

Chu Yang smiled and said, "I can't force myself to think about it. Perhaps it would come naturally when the right time comes. Now, I can only progress according to my own heart. Acting by my true heart and feeling would then form my true self. I can't allow my true nature to be changed by whatever person or for whatever reason! This would be it. I'll understand the elder's words in the future."

"But I must remember the elder's words. I can't suppress myself from now on. One isn't a true man if he can't laugh and cry, and don't have feelings and tears! How can I be locked by myself?"

As he said, he lay completely on the ground of dead leaves as if he had completely relaxed himself. He groaned, "My feet really hurt. I'm so exhausted…"

The sword spirit smiled bitterly: Still, you said you were kept in the dark… and said you did not comprehend a thing. You have experienced Chu Xiaoxin's life and witnessed his path of sentiment. Yet, you can still keep to your true self. This is actually the beginning of your path of sentiment! You have already stepped onto the path, but still, you said you don't know anything…

Adding on to what you have said, that "one isn't a true man if he can't laugh and cry, and don't have feelings and tears! How can I be locked by myself?", if you can really do it, you would have already let go of the bondage you have on yourself… You have gotten all the quintessence of the path of sentiment, and still, you said you want to comprehend them later?

I really don't know what you want to understand.

But the sword spirit did not say these out. This would be a great benefit to Chu Yang if he cultivated in ignorance! Wait till he finally understood this layer of truth, he would definitely have a completely new breakthrough.

The sword spirit really looked forward to what this King of Hell Chu, who was clever all his life but muddled for this one time, would comprehend when the time came…

Or, would it be out of everyone's expectations again?

…

In that cottage, the elder, who was standing in front of the portrait, smiled a little, sat down on the chair, and made a pot of tea, as though he was set at ease. He filled the five teacups with tea and softly said with a smile, "Brothers, please taste my tea. Do I have any improvement in making tea?"

The eyes of the portrait on the wall gazed deeply and affectionately at him. A light breeze came and the portrait moved a little. The clothes on the portrait also seemed to flutter in the breeze, as though she really pitied the loneliness of the man beneath her and was just about to step down to be with him…

…

Chu Xiongcheng and Chu Feiling stood silently outside the woods and looked at Chu Yang who was within the woods.

Both of them had already been standing here for three days.

Their faces looked weather-beaten.

Ever since Chu Yang began to have some inspirations, the duo had been standing here, not moving a bit. They were worried about him, but also afraid to disturb him.

Further away, Yang Ruolan hid herself behind a tree trunk and stood silently, looking at his son afar off. She was rankled by his son. She did not dare to get nearer to him, because… the maternal heart would always be easy to fritter away the ambitions of a hero.

If a son was always by his mother's side, his heart would not stay firm, as he would feel that he had a dependence.

So Yang Ruolan could only watch her son secretly here.

Finally, she saw Chu Yang stand up and walk towards his father and grandfather. Yang Ruolan pursed her lips and left hurriedly… She could not allow her son to know that she had come…

This would affect him in his practice for martial arts…

…

"Let's go home," Chu Feiling and Chu Xiongcheng said in unison as they looked at Chu Yang. They did not mention anything else.

"Alright!" Chu Yang felt some warmth in his heart.

When Chu Yang personally handed Chu Xiongcheng the small wooden sword, Chu Xiongcheng opened his mouth agape for a long time. He looked at Chu Yang in shock and was speechless for a long while.

"The killing order for the Chu clan: If there's one day when anyone passes this to you, that person will wield absolute power over the lives of every member within the Chu clan! This is an ancestral order. Remember, anyone may pass this to you!"

In Chu Xiongcheng's memory, the elder had said this coldly.

Chu Xiongcheng felt his head in a mess.

"Clan Master, two silver-plate law-enforcement officers came and asked for the eldest young master to report to the Law Enforcement Hall. We have some things to ask him," a Martial Artist had come to report to the clan master.

Chu Xiongcheng frowned.

Chu Yang's heart also shuddered: Is it about the matter that happened last time?

…