Demon Queen Rebirth: I Reincarnated as a Living Armor?!

Chapter 459: Ervas Thoughts

—–

The last fight was intense, but I believe that we managed to pull out a victory thanks to Veronica, mostly.

I was still quite too cautious and ended giving them too much time.

I was quite foolish, I have to admit it.

I should be rasher, perhaps…

Or not?

I don’t know, but it seemed that because I was overly cautious that I was also not killed by the explosion of the Familiar Spirit of Hekaton.

If I went completely all out, I might have killed them quickly… but Veronica wouldn’t have been able to reach me and tell me about the bomb.

Hmm, it was indeed a close call.

But now things should be fine, and I also ate part of the two.

Mason and Lucas… Well, those two were quite something.

Thinking about them barely brings me anything that I should care for.

I do remember that Lucas was a timid man, but goodhearted.

And Mason… well, the last moments of his life was him blaming me about everything going bad in Future Kritias. I believe that he was insane, maybe.

Wait, am I insane? Perhaps.

Well, between me and I, I think I am a bit saner, hopefully.

I really don’t believe that I am the culprit behind everything going wrong in the future Kritias.

I suppose Mason was too brainwashed even until now, I can’t believe he actually wanted to join us while having such a mentality.

I guess being about to die made his inner self come out… Well, that’s that.

And about Lucas… I had intended to keep his soul, perhaps give him a new body or something, but he used his powers to slow us down, and ultimately we just ate him too.

It was sad because we were not able to completely replicate the cheat ability he had, which was undoubtedly overpowered.

Nonetheless, we managed to add some of its effects into our already existing powers, and due to that, Gaia, who had received a new body, seemed to shine brighter than before after that, perhaps she will become a God Spirit?

I don’t really know… Though, she is already something called “Mythical Life Spirit Queen”, and she even has a Status, she seems to have become something in between living beings and spirits, similarly, to Shade.

I remember Kireina saying something about some of her wives being half-spirits, perhaps this could be a good term to call Gaia and Shade now, half-spirits.

Nonetheless, things seem to be calming down for the moment, everyone is about to go to sleep as well, and so I plan to do so as well.

My mind has been developing rather greatly now. I believe I am capable of harboring more bright emotions, which is good.

I have been lately able to smile honestly and without forcing it, although it ends being a very mild smile…

It makes me sad deep down to think that I might not be able to show those I love a sincere smile.

It often makes me doubt if I am even anymore the person I used to be.

After all, there is Veronica who is more like I used to be now.

So what am I then?

I had wondered that many times before, but after so long, I had concluded that I was simply a new person, me.

I am simply put, Ervas. Although it might sound foolish, melodramatic, and unnecessary, I needed this thought to come to my mind and make fill me with the resolve to not live by what I used to be but live as I am now, and to protect what I am now and those I love now.

However, this doesn’t mean that those I left behind in my previous life will be ignored and be given responsibility for Veronica only.

I plan to take complete responsibility for all my wrongdoings, and the terrible mistakes I committed as Anastacia.

It pains my heart every time I think about my fallen people, and every night I pray for their safety to the Dark Gods.

I don’t know why I exactly pray to the Dark Gods, but I believe they might be on our side, or so I hope.

Although I might seem cold outside, I consider myself a weak person, and my will is rather weak too.

Because I come out as silent and cold, it might seem as if I were filled with resolve and intelligence, but at times I believe I am very stupid as well.

I wish I could be a better leader, but with Veronica at my side, things are not so bad.

She’s the light that reveals a path in my life, despite us being once the same person, I believe she has become someone even greater than our past self, while I have diverged into my own version.

We are different and perhaps we even represent and hold power over different things, but we walk through the same path, and we hold similar beliefs.

I believe she loves me, and so I love her as well.

We have become something similar to a brother and a sister, and I like this relationship a lot.

It makes me feel welcomed by my former self who is still alive at my side.

I had never considered what it would feel like conversing and forming a family bond with my own self before, but it is indeed something beautiful which I don’t ever want to forget.

It always fills me with the courage to think that she will be at my side even in the most perilous of situations, she is someone that I can rely on, alongside all those I love as well.

Thanks to them are that I get over m insecurities, fears, and weaknesses, and brace myself with resolve, confronting the challenges ahead of our path with all the courage I can muster.

But even then, I often feel doubts about my own power and hold back, becoming overly cautious.

This is a nature I cannot change so easily, but I am trying to improve as much as I can for the moment.

However, it is not as if such nature hasn’t proven to be useful…

Nonetheless, for now, I will evolve.

—–