Dreaming With My Dragon Lover

The Third Lord stayed where he was, savouring the poignant smile of the man before him. Although he could see that the smile Qiuchen forced was not sincere, or that he had been using it in a perfunctory manner since he had entered the Rong Mansion, the delight of possessing him still overshadowed the slight discontentment. Perhaps it was the late autumn chill that made him think that Qiuchen was thinner than ever, wearing only a thin moon white silk robe, looking like a fairy by the autumn waters in the opera "Goddess of the Luo"[1], stepping on the waves and about to fly away.

Perhaps even a fairy was not as perfect as he was. That beauty that transcended the earthly world, that aloofness that was untainted by the mundanity, how was it not like a celestial fairy? What was more, no matter how beautiful a fairy was, she was still only a woman, while he, after all, was a man.

Without costume or make-up, his handsome face looked more translucent and his skin naturally smooth. A full forehead and straight nose, without a hint of angularity, outlined a gentle profile. A slightly furrowed brow and upturned thin lips, without eye shadow or blush, removed the feminine appearance of the stage and what remained was a clean and pretty boy.

Most beautiful of all were his eyes, which used to take countless different forms on stage - fluttering, soulful, full of emotion, full of desire, or if he raised an eyebrow and threw a teasing glance, the audience, no matter how different, was bound to fall for one of his looks. How else could he have been adored by so many people? After only six months on stage, he was hailed as the number one Dan[2] actor in the Imperial Capital by opera lovers like never before. As everyone knew, in the capital, there was absolutely no shortage of first-class troupes or beautiful young Dan actors, all of whom had good looks and skills. The stage with its gongs and drums was, to put it bluntly, just a glamorous battlefield.. The only difference was that the competition on this battlefield was about appearance and voice.

The Third Lord had seen, supported and been intimate to all the famous Dan actors either with stunning looks or stunning voices. However, no one had ever been able to combine a beautiful appearance and a beautiful voice as well as Qiuchen. It was no surprise that he was named as the first in the "Flowers of the Opera Stage" by the Empress Dowager Cixi herself.

Thinking of this, he couldn't wait to run up behind him and pull that delicate body into his arms.

"Come inside, it's not like you have to practice singing now; stay in bed with me a little longer. Sit by the water just in your thin silk robe...if you catch a cold, that will make my heart ache."

Rong Qiuchen instinctively struggled, but felt unable to free himself from the confining embrace. Unable to avoid it, he could only try to tilt his head to the side and stare at the fish in the pond, holding back the bitterness in his eyes.

"My lord, why do you keep so many fish in such a small pond? They are so crowded against each other that it is difficult for them to even turn around. Aren't fish supposed to be free?"

Yuan Ge seemed to feel the pain in Qiuchen's words. The once dazzling flower of the stage was imprisoned in the Rong Mansion, in the secluded Yi Qiu Hall, as a boy-attendant serving pens and ink, or to put it more bluntly, as an "exclusive catamite". Cut off from the possibility of creating art and beauty, he was like those fish imprisoned in the Dragon Pond, surviving only by begging for food.

However, no matter what he felt in his heart, Yuan Ge could only hear the voice that did not belong to him speak intimate words to Rong Qiuchen, caressing his cheek and neck, nibbling on his ear and whispering, "Little beauty, you are freezing cold, why do you still worry about the fish? Let's go back to bed and warm you up."

Pushing the hand away, Qiuchen stared at him insistently, as if he had to have an answer.

"Do you know how many koi I had put in this Dragon Pond? Seven thousand! All you have to do is to scatter a bit of fish food and they will come and grab it, waiting and begging with their mouths open. It's such a great feeling. And if you want to fish, you don't even need to bait a fishing rod. It's a sight to behold in the entire capital. If it amuses my darling Rong Qing, I'll have someone put another seven thousand fish down, so you'll be able to catch them with your bare hands, okay? But don't always feed them here, they won't behave so eagerly if they are well fed."

Qiuchen laughed self-deprecatingly. What the Third Lord liked most was to have all beautiful things appear sordid in front of him. The famous actors on the stage were too far away, and the Rong Qiuchen he liked had to be a "slut" with no pretensions and stripped bare beside him for his sole enjoyment. He wanted to see him performing in bed, to leave his soul behind, to submit obsequiously to his will, to gratify his every whim.

Perhaps the too-fake laughter revealed what was on his mind. At that moment he heard the voice of the Third Lord say, "Lord Longyang weeps for fish[3] to cement the favour of the King of Wei, but my Rong Qing is for what, to grieve at the koi so early in the morning?" He was so impressed with his own clever analogy that he could not help but burst out into a string of laughter.

The laughter made Qiuchen feel even sadder. Lord Longyang, the favourite male lover of the King of Wei during the Warring States period, had wept for fish and pitied himself, causing the king to vow never to give favour to other beauties. He was a smart man who knew how to consolidate his position. But what he, Rong Qiuchen, wanted was not favour or promotion. However, as a lowly actor, there were things he had no right to ask for but accept, otherwise he would be ruined and crushed like an egg against a stone.

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[1] The Goddess of the Luo is a figure in an ancient Chinese poem created by Cao Zhi, a writer living in the state of Wei during the Three Kingdoms period (c. 220-280 CE). In his tale, Cao Zhi is returning from the capital to his own land when he stops at the Luo River for a rest, where he sees a vision of the goddess so powerful that he instantly falls in love with her. Cao sees a nymph of peerless beauty "as elegant as a startled swan and supple as a swimming dragon". Though he's swept away by her ethereal beauty, it's a love that isn't meant to be.

[2] Dan is the general name for female roles in Chinese opera, often referring to leading roles. Traditionally, all dan roles were played by men, but this practice is no longer common in any Chinese opera genre today.

[3] The story of Lord Longyang took place sometime between 276 and 243 BCE, and is the second account of a male same-sex relationship in Chinese historical records. Lord Longyang and the King of Wei are in a fishing boat together when Longyang begins to cry. After the king pressures him to say why he is crying, Longyang reveals that he is afraid that the king will be tempted by other, more beautiful men, and lose interest in him. The king then forbids anyone to mention other beauties in his presence under penalty of death. As a result of his status as a favourite of the king, Lord Longyang was given a small fief and a feudal title.