Dysfunctional – An Assassin’s Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 135 - 134 - Preparations



Chapter 135 – 134 – Preparations

It was the 18th of January today, eight days after the Vampire Forbidden Zone had ceased functioning. So far, there was still no movement from the Vampires, Atticus confirmed that at this time, all six hundred and sixty-five minus the few that died were in Silvland. In the meantime, we had all but completed our preparations in fortifying the north side of the Rustlands, with several large crossbows mounted onto the top of the walls.

Oh, and we also had cannons…based on the gun I’d brought back from the infiltration mission, along with blueprints I’d sketched, the Rustlands had invented cannons. Though they weren’t like normal cannons, they didn’t use gunpowder, and were fired differently. Basically, you place your hand on the back of the cannon, run some Mana through it, and then pull a lever to fire it. The inside of the cannon was lined with strips of the parchment used in making Spell Cards, just like The Empire’s guns were.

Oh, in case you were wondering, we didn’t have guns, not yet anyway. That had been the initial plan when I first brought back the gun I stole, but when I came up with the idea to suggest making cannons using the same concept used by The Empire on their guns, I soon found out that labor was a problem.

The Empire had its pawns to do the grunt work, but the Rustlands didn’t have a large group of people that could perform that role to that extent. Even after all these months, we only had a couple dozen cannons that were ready for use. Simply put, we didn’t have the spare manpower to make both cannons and guns at the same time, and even while making one of those options, mass production was going to be a slow process.

After all, even with the blueprints and instructions I made, this was something that had never been made before in this world. If I had opted to go for guns instead of cannons, we’d have more individual units ready, but I picked cannons since I figured they’d be more effective in defending ourselves if we were to come under attack.

All that being said, the main purpose of the cannons right now was to serve as a distraction. Think about it, if and when the Vampires attack the Rustlands, their attention will be captured by the strange weapons atop the walls that they’d never seen before, and while they’re distracted, that’s when we’ll launch the ambush from all sides.

We currently had twenty Stored attacks of each Elemental Magic type except for Earth Magic. We planned on using Ekai and Instructor Tabbs’ tornadoes in tandem from the sides, Az’s spiky ice boulders from above, and my Lightning Novas also from above. The goal was simple, take out as many Vampires with the Stored attacks as possible, and then kill all the ones that remain.

The second part was the main challenge, how many of us were strong enough to hold our own against a Vampire? Moreover, how many of us were strong enough to hold our own against multiple Vampires? Those of us without large-scale attacks at our disposal would be at a disadvantage. Vi was super strong, but according to her report, she’d been on the ropes against Vampire Minions that hadn’t even been at full strength. She said that she would’ve consider them evenly matched if not for the speed of their regenerative abilities. That means that simply hurting or inflicting damage on a Vampire wasn’t enough unless you broke the core, and they could move their cores around their bodies.

All things considered, I was surprisingly calm these days. Not sure how to explain it, I guess I just sorta felt like since the odds are so heavily stacked against us, there’s no sense in panicking. Not everyone shared my viewpoint though. The civilians were highly uneasy, which was only made worse by the Bronztan citizens taking refuge here. Apparently, there had been a bunch of street brawls and stuff in the south end of the Rustlands, where all the non-combatants had been squeezed back. Tensions were rising, and it was only getting worse with every passing day.

As for the north end of the Rustlands, where the combatants were gathered, our numbers didn’t look bad on paper, in fact the total Adventurers from Bronztan and the Rustlands combined significantly outnumbered the Vampires, and that was without counting the student Adventurers that were also going to be involved, but going back to my previous concern…how many of us were actually a threat to the Vampires? That was why it was imperative that our ambush takes out as many of the Vampires as possible.

So, yeah, things weren’t looking too great, to say the least. It was the middle of the day right now, and I was by the north gate, helping out with the fortification efforts. Well, I was technically just looking around, but since I’m the one who mostly came up with the plan, you can’t say that I’m not pulling my own weight. Persia was with me too. It’s too bad there don’t seem to be many, or even any, skilled assassin’s in this world besides myself and Lagusa, though even if there were, it’d probably be too good to be true for all the Vampires to be taken out covertly. After all, assassinating them quietly would be tough without knowing exactly where their cores are.

Armies would have been handy too, but the majority of this world’s human population were non-combatant civilians. Wars were a rare occurrence in this world, after all, and when they did occur, they would be waged between Adventurers. The Valaque Empire is the only nation that currently has a passable army at its disposal. Even as expendable pawns with low level skills, numbers were valuable.

Oh, well, complaining about it isn’t going to fix it. All we could do was take all the measures we had at our disposal and hope that’d be enough. I had made sure that everyone who was going to be on the front lines fully understood the powers and weaknesses of the Vampires by asking the guild to hand out flyers that included all the pertinent information we knew.

Most of the Adventurers looked either nervous or eerily quiet, I could hardly blame them though, most of them were probably fully expecting to die sooner rather than later. And then there’s this idiot…

“Come on, just for a bit…wrap me up in your tentacles, I just want to know what it feels like!”

“Please go away…this is making me very uncomfortable.”

I should probably step in.

“Hey, pervert, maybe don’t sexually harass every person you come across?” I sighed, pulling her dog tail with a bit of force.

“H-huh, wha…!? Oh, it’s just you, Kuro, don’t scare me like that, you sandpaper-dildo-filled dickhole!”

“Your insults are as, uh, interesting as ever,” Remarked Persia with a laugh.

“You alright, Lusk? Not scarred for life, I hope?” I inquired, turning to the victim.

So, obviously the harasser was Selesa, because…who else? And the victim was Lusk Cotuid, the first year who I’d had that joint Quest with a while back, the guy with the blue-haired bowl cut, light green eyes, glasses and octopus Anima. He usually had a relatively composed expression on his face, but a hint of fear and alarm was in his eyes following Selesa’s…demands.

“Oh, don’t be dramatic, he’s fine! It’s not like I’m trying to molest him or anything, you know…I’m asking him to molest me, totally not the same thing!” Protested Selesa, trying to use logic, but very, uh…illogically.

“This is highly disturbing and unsettling…,” He responded uncomfortably.

“Actually, this is pretty normal behavior for her,” I corrected him with a sigh.

“Come on, just for a minute! It’s always been my dream to get tentacle-raped and-…ow!”

“Woah, okay, that’s enough out of you!” I swiftly interrupted her with a chop to the head, “For fucks’ sake, you never learn, do you?”

“You’ve dreamed about getting violated by tentacles…?” Persia inquired with a look of bemusement.

“Oh, fuck yeah, that’s why I gotta know what it feels like!”

“Dream, huh…are you sure you didn’t mean nightmare?”

“Of course not, nightmares are unpleasant!”

“…and this is supposed to be pleasant?”

“Well, I don’t know for sure, but…it could be! Hentai always made it look so…appealing…,” She remarked with a lustful expression, her mouth drooling slightly.

Persia had her distracted, and Lusk didn’t waste the opportunity, as he quickly disappeared into the crowd, rejoining some of his classmates. Most of the first-years, oh wait, I guess they were second-years now, along with some of the lower ranked Adventurers, would be stationed a couple of kilometers ahead of where the civilians were gathered, as the last line of defense in case the Vampires got past the front…but honestly speaking, if it came to that, it would mean our defeat. I guess they were all here because they were feeling nervous and restless hanging back at the south and waiting. Oh, looks like Selesa had noticed that her prey had gotten away.

“Hey, where’d he go…? Later, Kuro, Persia, I gotta find myself that tentacle boy!”

“…oh my God, you stupid, oversexed predator of a…,” I muttered to myself in exasperation, trailing off as she gleefully bounded away, her eyes peeled and searching for her target.

“She never changes, does she?”

“If anything, she might be even more perverted than before, if that’s even possible…”

The two of us continued wandering the area near the north gate, looking over the preparations. This was all pretty surreal, it was hard to believe that we were seriously about to go to war against the most powerful type of monsters to ever exist…allegedly at least, since Atticus had pointed out that only a handful of Vampires were as strong as were described in human history books. Well, the technicalities don’t matter much, they were still stronger than us on average by a lot.

“You know, if you stop and think about it, things have gotten really intense ever since the Goldway Quest about a year and a half ago…it’s all happened so fast that it never really hit me, but now that I’m looking back, things were really uneventful for a long time before then, it’s almost like the world is trying to make up for all that idleness,” Said Persia with a sigh.

“Yeah, you’re right…huh, now that you mention it, things were relatively peaceful in this world before I showed up…maybe I’m a bad luck charm or something,” I replied wistfully.

“No, I don’t think so…I mean, I’m sure the destruction of Goldway was planned well before you reincarnated here, and that attack was what triggered everything…well, except for the Vampire thing, but that probably just happened naturally. So, what I’m trying to say is…it’s not your fault!”

“Heh, I know, Kitty Cat, I was just kidding. No need to be so serious,” I grinned, ruffling her hair, “But I do appreciate you trying to cheer me up, you’re the best.”

“Hey, cut it out…,” She muttered, turning slightly red.

“Look who it is, it’s been a while since I saw you two!” A familiar voice suddenly exclaimed.

“Oh, no,” Groaned Persia, her tail swishing irritably.

“We literally see you in class five times a week, Birdbrain, so you really don’t have to go out of your way to greet us,” I responded with a frown.

“Come on, don’t be like that, after everything we’ve been though, too! Well, I didn’t stop you for nothing, I wanted your opinion on something…what do you think of this?” Inquired Gela with a smirk, holding up her right hand.

She was wearing a glove with sharp metal claws…no, it’d be more accurate to call them talons, they matched the shape and size of the talons on her left hand. I had to admit, that was a pretty smart addition, her swooping strikes were always easy to counter if you could match or exceed her speed since you knew she’d be striking only with her left hand.

“Objectively speaking, that’s a good choice, I guess. Your fighting style should be more balanced now, the lopsided nature of it which made your attacks predictable should be eliminated with this,” I answered informatively.

After all, if that advice could help her kill even one Vampire more than she might have otherwise, it was worth it.

“Huh? What do you mean by balanced?” She asked with a slightly confused look.

“He means that your moves will be harder to predict now that you won’t exclusively strike with your left hand, you dumb psychopath,” Replied Persia with a frown.

“Ohhh! Yeah, that’s right, tearing people up is gonna be a lot easier from now on!”

“Wait, if you didn’t realize something that basic, why did you get those in the first place?” Persia inquired with a puzzled look.

“Hm? Oh, I read about the fact that Vampires don’t die unless you break their core, so I figured I could tear them apart and rip out the core a lot easier if I had both hands to work with.”

“…I mean, you’re not wrong, but what’s with the way you think? You really are a psychopath.”

Yeah, Persia still didn’t like her at all…and I doubt that would ever change.

“You’re as hostile as ever, aren’t you? What, still mad about that kiss?” Inquired Gela tauntingly.

Wha-!? Of all the things to bring up…

“Wh-why don’t we get back to looking around, Persia? Yeah, let’s go!” I exclaimed, asking and then answering my own question without giving her a chance to reply, before taking her hand and pulling her along with me.

“Fine, but you need to relax…do you really think I was going to let her provoke me?” She sighed, maintaining an even tone of voice.

Well, she said that, but her expression showed clear signs of annoyance.

“N-no, of course not, but I’m sure it wouldn’t have been pleasant to hear her talk, right?” I replied as convincingly as I could.

“Fair enough, I guess.”

We spotted Rai and Key as we continued wandering the area, chatting with them briefly before getting back to it. If you’re wondering exactly why we’re walking around here….well, there’s no particular purpose, I suppose I could say that I wanted to see how the fortification efforts were going, but in reality, I was just aimlessly killing time.

“Hey, brat!”

That voice…this is gonna be annoying.

“Lapunder…need something, Mr Number One S-Rank?” I replied half-heartedly, as he approached me.

The first time we properly met, he’d been a lot stronger than me, I only got the better of him by catching him off-guard. But now, I was stronger than he was…he definitely knew that too, so I guess I should give him props for still being just as grouchy towards me as before instead of shrinking back in fear, but seriously man…he’s so annoying.

“You may be playing a major role in this upcoming battle, but don’t get cocky, punk! This is my chance…I’ll remind everyone exactly why I’m number one!”

With that…he left.

“He really approached me just to say that?”

“Well, you have kept getting stronger at a rapid and dramatic rate, I don’t really blame him for being frustrated about that,” Pointed out Persia.

Yeah, she had a good point. I had worked hard to get as strong as I am, but I can’t deny that luck had played a huge part as well…the Zombie Karma, and later the Vampire power boost, both were powers that you couldn’t just obtain through hard work or whatever. Though I’d say I did well to make those powers my own, I mean, could anyone else have survived being swarmed by hundreds of Zombies and then had the willpower to resist the consciousness of the most powerful Vampire in existence? I’ll leave it at that.

“Hey, maybe we should leave before we have any more unpleasant encounters,” I suggested with a tired sigh.

“Nah, I enjoy watching your heated encounters, and besides, I like how much better my social skills have gotten, I wanna keep working on that,” She replied with a smile.

“I don’t appreciate the first part of what you said, but as for the latter part…fine, we’ll stick around a bit longer.”

“Hehe, thanks for being such a supportive boyfriend!”

“Come on, don’t make a big deal out of it.”

We then passed by where the cannons were gathered, twenty-three of them in total. They were using Store and Extract spells to get the cannons to the top of the wall, along with the ammunition. Instead of regular cannonballs, I suggested using large metal balls with spikes all over as the ammo, and they took that suggestion. These should do more damage. Wind Magic users would be operating the cannons, their Mana triggered the fastest projectile speed.

The next person we ran into was…

“Hi, you two, I hope you’re doing well,” She greeted us with a polite smile.

“Oh, uh…hey, Lamasa. Yeah, we’re good, how about you?” I replied awkwardly.

So, yeah, after the shuffle Quest, she had been super mopey and depressed for months, and it seemed inevitable that she’d flunk out of the Adventurer Academy, but then she suddenly pulled herself together and became a lot more humble, and even downright friendly. It was super weird, but it was better than her former bitchy self…I think. I had no idea how to talk to her like this. After a few more awkward words exchanged, we parted ways, as I let out a sigh of relief.

“You know what, let’s leave now…that drained my energy,” Groaned Persia.

“Yeah, me too. Let’s go-,” I began, when I was interrupted by a sudden commotion from the front gate.

What was going on?

“Did something happen?” Asked Persia, getting on alert as her cat ears perked up.

“Why don’t we go find out,” I replied, walking towards the commotion.

A whole bunch of the Adventurers were crowding the entrance, but they were all talking at the same time so I couldn’t really make out what they were saying.

“Excuse me, what’s going on? Hello? Hey! Fine, if I can’t get your attention the easy way…,” I growled, as everyone I tried to talk to ignored me.

“Kuro, what are you doing-…?”

I entered Vampire Mode and fired a large bolt of lightning straight up into the air, grabbing everyone’s attention and quietening down the commotion.

“That’s better…now, someone mind telling me what’s going on?” I inquired with a raised eyebrow.

“A carriage-.”

“There’s people outside-.”

“Stop acting like you’re in charge, kid, I’m still number one here, got it!?”

“They came from the direction of Silvland.”

“One seems to be in bad condit-.”

“Okay, enough, everyone quiet!” I interrupted with a clap of my hands.

They were all talking over each other, and one of those was especially unhelpful. Forget this, I’ll see for myself. I flew up over the crowd and glided to the outside of the gates. A horse-drawn carriage was there, and a couple of people were inside it, the door was slightly open, and I could see that one of them was injured, a bloodsoaked cloth wrapped around their arm. Both of them were wearing cloaks with hoods to cover their faces.

There was another person driving the carriage, he was wearing leather armor so I’d guess he was an Adventurer. He had some injuries but nothing too severe. I swooped down onto the ground and returned to my normal state, before stepping towards the carriage and pushing the door fully open.

“Who are you and where did you come from?” I inquired bluntly.

One of them clicked their tongue irritably and turned their head away, averting their gaze…huh, what was that about? The other one, who had the injured arm, pulled back their hood and looked me in the eye pleadingly.

“Help us…please.”

Well, this was a surprise…it was Princess Agatha Silvland.

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