Chapter 404 - Fear Is Proof
“I see you figured it out. That’s right; it’s only natural to be. Someone like me has always been empty, after all. “
Sumire shook. “It’s quite alright.”
“Then may I ask, under what circumstances did you use to write those lyrics?”
She was silent for a few minutes before she extended her hand out, almost as though she was trying to capture the stars with her palm. Even though they were indoors, he felt this way.
“When I’m feeling insecure. Like when Yuhi and I were not together, I felt so useless at that time. All I could do was wait. Yet, it was because of that we were all pleased when we saw each other again. I hate it, you know? The feeling of being weak and powerless. Even though that place was my home, it was suffocating and stifling all the time. The only times I found light were when I was with or whenever I sang. That’s why the second I realized my strength, and I wanted to use it to change something. To change this net called time.”
Ah, so that’s it, that’s the reason why she has been able to remain strong this entire time, even though she broke down and cried after each stage. Atushi also noted how quickly she got back on her feet. No matter how painful it was.
She is an amazing person.
Atushi thought so before, but when she says things like this, he affirms those thoughts.
“But if something were to break that net? If something were to break that change, what would you do?” At this point, his tone must have sounded desperate since she reached over and patted his hair.
“When that time comes, I’ll rely on everyone else to give me the strength to fix it, to build something new. “
His eyes widened. “It’ll be alright; you can find what you’ve been looking for.”
Sumire stood up and walked towards the door, but right then, Yuhi woke up. “In a few minutes, Nagawa will arrive. Stay with him for a while until this dies down.”
“Yuh-no don’t.”
Yuhi laughed. “If that is how you feel, then how can I sit back? Besides, I won’t be doing this alone.”
It was then Atushi heard familiar voices outside and walked towards the window. From there, he could see the other guys in M5. It seems Yuhi is slowly changing. But what about Sumire?
Atushi watched as she leaned forward and kissed Yuhi. For a moment, everybody in the room is stunned. This?
“I will wait, so you have to come to fetch me. If you take too long, I will let San take me away.”
Yuhi laughed. “Now we can’t have that, can we?”
….
It was nightfall when the mess calmed down. There were still quite a few reporters outside, but when they realized Sumire was not around, they hurriedly left to search for her. Atushi recalled the sight from earlier off Nagawa Sano taking her away. Is it fine? That guy is the main reason why so many bad things have happened.
Since Sumire and Yuhi left earlier, Atushi remained outside leaning against the entrance in a daze.
He answered the reporter’s questions properly. Many tried to twist the situation about Sumire staying in a bar. But after he explained that this was his place, and Yuhi stayed there, they scrapped the idea of using it in the report.
“Isn’t it too cold to be smoking outside?” A familiar voice said.
Atushi looked over and spotted a woman with long purple-colored hair. He glanced over at the drink in her hands. “Is that for me?”
She sighed and passed it over. “Futaba is angry at you; when will you make up with her?”
Atushi laughed. “I didn’t think you would pry into our little lovers’ spat.”
Momoi Futaba was Sumire’s best friend and currently his girlfriend. They got into a fight when she heard that he would follow Sumire to Tokyo. Futaba told him that he would get in the way and that Sumire does not want this. He understood that very well, but he had to go.
Did they think it was wise enough to leave Sumire, who was suicidal, alone? Even though she is calmer now, he knew how emotionally unstable she is.
“We all know that you still like Sumire. She knew that too, and yet-“
He shook his head. “The feelings I have for Sumire are quite different now, unlike the past.”
That is right; unlike before, these feelings have changed. But even then, he never entertained the idea of them being a couple. Most people found that odd since there was a time where he could have successfully chased her.
Now that he thought about it, back then, his gaze fell towards Kiragi Asuka. This person gave him some advice.
Asuka noticed him staring. “What is it?”
“You told me recently, didn’t you, that ‘Fear is proof that your imagination is functioning. Frankly, I feel bad for anyone who can’t feel fear. Without imagination, you can never deduce which action to take next.’ “
__
She didn’t think he would bring this up. Still, she nodded, not understanding where he was coming from.
“From the very start, I may have just been afraid. When I first met Sumire. At first, I thought she was some stupid girl with no worries at all—someone who lived a carefree life. But somehow, along the way, I found myself becoming attached to her. The way she can stand up and take action for someone else, even at the risk of their own life.”
She, too, thought the same of Sumire and thus didn’t want to get involved with her.
She thought of Sumire as a fool. Someone who didn’t know she was pushing and stepping on others, and yet, slowly, that changed. She doesn’t know at what point it changed, but she was always watching the brunette hair girls back before she knew it.
Unconsciously the lilac hair girl found herself joining in the conversation, despite initially being too nervous.
“It’s not often that you see it. But beneath her weakness, she is a strong person.” she trails off. “Maybe that’s just what she wants us to see through. She can change who she is, depending on the situation.”
Atushi nodded. “Maybe she’s just good at reading people’s feelings and desires.”
‘But even that alone is not enough.”
“She knows how to talk to people. But if you always try to please people, you tend to forget to please yourself. So I worry her kindness will change. Circumstances change people. It could happen to her too.”