Chapter 146 - It Doesn't Matter
Gael drove around the city aimlessly for the past thirty minutes since he dropped off Angela. He didn't like the way their conversation ended earlier. Just when he thought he could handle the situation, he went and blew it up, feeling pathetic that he'd been showing his jealousy when he didn't have the right.ch
Eventually, he found himself driving towards Cho Corporation. He should have called Daniel before getting inside the building, but it wasn't as if he planned to visit him today.
The receptionist called the CEO's office, and he waited until he was allowed to pass by security before he rode the elevator that led to the top floor. When he landed, Daniel's office secretary greeted him. She smiled broadly and stood with poise. He wondered if Samantha was okay with her husband having a pretty lady around his office, though of course, he was sure that his friend was a faithful man.
He swept his gaze over her face, and then she turned around, leading him towards the CEO's office. She was attractive—but she was no Angela.
The secretary knocked first and announced his name. He heard Daniel's acknowledgment, and then he entered the office as soon as the door opened. It wasn't the first time he had been here, but it had been quite a while. The office looked different than the last time he came here. The pieces of furniture were the same but were rearranged—a classic mahogany desk to the right of the room and in front of it were two long leather sofas.
Daniel had his nose buried in a file when Gael sat on the sofa. He glanced up once and offered, "Want a drink? I have your favorite scotch."
"No, thanks," responded Gael. He wanted to, actually, but he refused. He hadn't drunk for months now, and he was trying not to slip.
"Right. I forgot you're abstaining." Daniel put down the file and circled his desk. He made two cups of black coffee and brought them to the coffee table, putting one each in front of them as he sat opposite Gael. "What brings you by? Taking a break from being her security detail?"
Scrubbing his face with his hands, Gael groaned. "I'm so fûcked."
Daniel scoffed, shaking his head. He took a sip of his coffee and leaned back, one arm resting against the top of the backrest. "You already were—the minute you got back here in Mayne. You already knew that, of course. But you still did. It's not like you didn't anticipate that already. Why are you complaining now?"
"You know I couldn't just let it be."
"You could have. But you didn't. The truth is—and I'm saying this objectively—whatever's going on with her, it's not really your fault—directly, I mean. She's not your problem. And yet you want her to be. So, yeah. You are fûcked."
Give it to Daniel to say it to his face. Gael knew that he could always count on his friend not to sugarcoat things. Wasn't that why he came here to see him in the first place? Though it was unplanned, he figured he needed a smack on the face.
Gael drank his coffee. It was bitter, just like how he liked it. Another upper that he needed. "He found her. The asshole found her," he said, not bothering to specify who he was talking about. He knew Daniel would get it.
"Have you told her you already knew about him?"
A sigh escaped Gael's lips as he shook his head. It was one of the lies that he kept from Angela.
"You know she'd hate you if you don't tell her," Daniel added.
"She'd hate it if she knew I knew. So it doesn't matter. I'm not staying anyway." Gael held his head as he looked down on his shoes, his hands brushing his nape in frustration.
It took Daniel a minute before he spoke again. "You know…before you told me 'everything'—the reason why you came back here—I thought you honestly just wanted to be with her."
"Nothing's changed. I do, still, want her. There's been a lot of times that I'd slip, and I couldn't help myself but be close to her. It all happens so naturally that I forget that I can't cross the line. And I fûcking want to cross the line… but…"
"But you can't," Daniel finished Gael's sentence. "So you'd rather what? You being around her...she'll only end up falling and getting used to having you around. What happens when all of this is over? You disappear. You'd really prefer letting her down again...hurt her again?"
Gael gritted his teeth. A groan rippled in his throat as he spat, "You think I don't know that? But it's better that way. When this is over, and I leave, then she'll hate me. Then...it'll be easier for her to forget and move on."
Daniel shook his head. He obviously disagreed with the other's methods, but it was still Gael's decision. "You need to tell her. It's bad enough that I'm keeping this from my wife." He loosened his tie as if it was choking him.
"Did she ask you? Do Sam and Angela talk often?" A look of worry crossed Gael's face. He was starting to sweat. It was a cold December, but he was sweating.
"Apart from work, I don't think so. Still… I don't like not being able to tell Samantha about things. But this isn't my business, so I'm staying out of it. But, man… whatever you do, you would still end up hurting her in the end."
Gael huffed. His heart rammed in his chest, and his knees bounced up and down. He hated that Daniel was right. "So it doesn't matter whether I tell her or not. In the end, it will still be the same."
Daniel sighed and changed the direction of their conversation. "Aren't you supposed to leave for Italy for Christmas?"
"Was. I don't think I can leave now. Not when this is happening. That Leos might pop up anytime. I can't...leave her right now."
"Well, you're welcome to spend the holidays with us if you decide to stay. We'll be having a few parties here and there."
Nodding, Gael expelled a long sigh. "Thanks. How are the kids?"
Daniel rubbed his hand down his face. "They're driving me nuts. Sianna's in a phase where she gets frustrated for not being able to speak her thoughts when she wants to say something. So she shouts and screams. It's understandable, though, but Ashton would scold his sister for being so loud, and then they end up fighting."
"It must be tough."
"Tell me about it. But I love it, man. The house is crazy, but there's no other place I'd rather be. It's my home." Daniel shrugged, a small smile plastered on his face when he looked at the shelf to his left and saw a photo of his family in a silver frame.
There was a pang in Gael's heart seeing his friend being content about his life now. He wondered if that time would ever come to him and he'd understand and share the same feeling that Daniel had. Staring at the family photo, he began to visualize what his life would be if he were to get married and settle down someday.
But there was no future there. He didn't allow himself to think of that one woman his heart yearned for. So when he closed his eyes, he couldn't imagine anything.
It was dark.