Chapter 31 - Let This Be The End
Shen Li immediately realised that he has troubled everyone even though his motives were good and he sincerely wanted to pay his respects to Yu Dong his original wife, his actions were a bit hasty and he made everyone wait for him “I am really sorry about this I wanted to come home as soon as possible but the town is really far and aunt Wang’s ox cart is already off duty. So I couldn’t go to the town and purchase these in the end I have to ask around the village that is why it took a little more time than I expected it to .”
Yu Dong shook her head and picked up the pot in which she had cooked the stir fried pork and brought it to the table “Its fine. I do understand your feelings if I were you I too would be in a hurry to pay my respect to my husband if he passed away and I had no idea about it -it’s my bad that I couldn’t tell you or anyone else about this matter.”
Shen Li didn’t know how to tell Yu Dong that he wasn’t in a hurry to pay his respect to his wife’s soul. It was just his duty as her husband , a responsibility he was itching to finish as soon as possible so that he could get rid of his title as ‘ Yu Dong ‘s husband ‘ , before he didn’t knew about it so it was alright that he didn’t prayed for his wife but now that he knew he couldn’t turn a blind eye to it.
As Yu Dong’s first husband it was his duty as well as his responsibility to follow the customs and do what was expected of him – that was it nothing more . He wasn’t in fact even upset that his wife was no more because he had her . And if this was some sort of refund from God for making his life full of sufferings then Shen Li wasn’t even upset with Yu Dong ‘s death , to momentarily becoming a widower was the right price in his eyes for getting such a gentle wife in return .
He smiled ruefully and said “I will take these incense sticks and joss paper in my room you can call the others for dinner. I will wash my hands and come to the dining table after that.”
Yu Dong didn’t say anything she thought that Shen Li was feeling melancholic because he just found out his wife was no more. Even though the previous Yu Dong wasn’t a really good person, she was still Shen Li’s wife whom he had been married for so many years. It was inevident that he might feel a bit upset about loosing his wife at such a young age. Therefore she served him an extra portion of the fried pork when Shen Li returned to the dining table.
Since Chen Mi could move around without feeling uncomfortable everyone once again started eating at the dining table. Yu Mai who was hungry like a starving ghost eat with relish, he didn’t even looked up from his bone and kept chomping on thick, fatty piece of pork until his mouth was glistening with oil. It has been months since last time he ate meat was when his parents were still alive to dote on him. Yu Mai was slow but he wasn’t stupid, he knew that his parents were no longer around to dote on him anymore.
Now the only family he had was his sister, his brother in laws and his little nephew he didn’t want to accept that bad Yu family as his own – his cousins bullied him and his aunt and uncle in law were baised .
Therefore, Yu Mai was really happy that his sister was doting on him just like his parents did. Chen Mi was busy feeding little bun. Since they didn’t have any milk today either Yu Dong had to once again purchase the goat milk from aunt Wang. The three goats that his wife brought were cheap because they were sick therefore they couldn’t give any milk currently and even they did Chen Mi would be too scared to feed little bun the milk from a sick goat even if it was boil. Therefore he was really glad that Yu Dong suggested that they should made for the three goats to recover completely before they start feeding little bun there milk.
Ye Liu was the only one who wasn’t busy stuffing his face or playing with a little baby therefore he noticed the small interactions that were happening between Yu Dong and Shen Li. Even though Yu Dong wasn’t saying anything and Shen Li wasn’t talking either, Ye Liu still felt that the two of them whether close than before. Ye Liu was happy that Yu Dong was finally treating elder brother Shen nicely, he still felt a pang of annoyance seeing that Yu Dong was only paying attention to elder brother Shen and not anyone else.
Though Ye Liu was annoyed he didn’t know that he was actually feeling jealous of Shen Li. But even if he knew he was too kind full to beg for Yu Dong’s attention .
Thus , the dinner ended just like that – everyone was in different mood . Yu Mai and Chen Mi were happy while Ye Liu was feeling both upset and jolly – he was happy that Yu Dong was treating them right but he was also feeling annoyed that she wasn’t treating him with special care . Didn’t he stayed with her just as much as Elder brother Shen did ? He too was married to her for two years dang it ! And he too suffered under her – he needed extra portion served too !
Shen Li who was standing in the back yard with a complicated mood didn’t know that he was being envied – all his attention was on the moon and the incense that was burning in a corner . The cicadas crooked and chirped – creating an atmosphere full of serenity but Shen Li wasn’t able to enjoy it .
He took out some joss papers and burnt them as his offerings before bowing in front of the moon . He couldn’t make a memorial tablet as Yu Dong ‘s body was still alive with a soul , if he made a memorial tablet who knows what others would think maybe they will think that he was cursing her -or something .
Not to forget , having a memorial tablet made when the person was still kicking and alive with a different soul – seemed like bringing bad luck on the person .
Shen Li didn’t want to bring bad luck to the current Yu Dong , the one who was treating him like he was human too . Who wasn’t looking at him with scorn or disgust but as a partner who was worthy of her respect , care and attention .
” Its been awhile , huh ?” he whispered so softly that even the whispering of the cicadas and the rustling leaves drowned his voice . However , Shen Li had a feeling that Yu Dong wherever she was listening to him , thus he straightened up and looked at the swirl of incense smoke that was rising and falling before disintegrating in thin wisps ” I promised mother in law that I would take care of you , and believe me when I say that I tried . I really tried Yu Dong – You used me like I was some sort of loose man your mother brought to please you and I let you stomp on my pride and dignity until nothing was left . I let you use my body as you pleased , until I couldn’t help but feel disgusted by its very own existence- by your lust . But I did what your mother wanted me to , I took care of you – even when you beat me , hit me until I bled , starved me – I took care of you . I have cleaned your bile , your vomit full of the stench of alcohol- held you up when you were drunk until you longer recognised your own husbands , watched you flirt and touch other mers , without batting an eye . But I’m tried – I can no longer take care of you , I can’t stay as your widower my entire life . Because let’s be honest you never treated me as your husband either – Yu Dong , I feel something for the kind soul who replaced you – I can’t just continue living as your widower and not move on .. I’m sorry for being selfish , but I can’t do it . So let this be the end alright ?”