Chapter 845: Dao Battle 2
Chapter 845: Dao Battle 2
The entire atmosphere seemed to freeze for a split second when Misery made his formal challenge to AP_Berzerker, but this soon changed when thunder sounded out and the clear sky of the arena’s realm became clouded.Bolts of lightning struck down at random spots of the stage, causing the entire place to look like Armageddon was coming. Despite this, none of the core members tore their eyes away from the stage.
Neither Misery nor AP moved their eyes away from the other.
As such, the thunderous scenario only formed a backdrop to the situational intensity.
Even worse, the AI had some bad news for them.
｢Umbra Arena Area Announcement
The Goddess of Alcohol and Wine, Sienna, has been alerted by the duel between two Children of the Dao! As such, she has sent an incarnation down to investigate and mediate the conflict!｣
｢Boundless System-wide Announcement
An Incarnation of a God is entering the realm!
Pay heed and tread carefully, lest one may find themselves at fault!｣
A hole was torn open in the sky, from which a golden white light descended majestically. A being filled with glory and beauty manifested herself from this light, weaving her form from raw Divine Energy. The light then exploded and revealed a glowing Goddess who floated in midair majestically.
She was truly beautiful, with soft yet pale skin that glowed with slight redness, a slender frame with an hourglass shape that promoted her womanly assets and two purple eyes as well as long, braided purple hair that reached her butt.
She wore a fancy robe with a few frills and openings that displayed important areas of skin. Her eyes were like the stars, hiding the truth of the world, and her soft purple lips tempted one to taste them regardless of consequence.
Sienna opened her eyes and gazed down at the core members of Umbra, expecting to see shocked, lustful and worshipping glances from the mortal scum. However, her expression fell when she saw that they only glanced at her in passing and were neither awed nor moved.
In a bad mood, she scanned over these disrespectful mortals and her heart shook. More than half of them radiated subtle Divinity (=Divine Classes) and their power was actually quite respectable. The rest radiated Aetheric power (=Legendary Classes), and there was no one with Worldly class power (=Epic Classes or below).
‘What a group of monsters!’ Sienna roared in her heart, unable to accept that a random group she beamed down onto could be this special.
She then focused on the two Dao Children who had led her here and saw that they were facing off against each other in a ring. Not only that, but they too radiated a sense of Divinity!
Wow!
However, Sienna quickly shook away her shock and decided to get down to what she came down here for. She lowered her altitude until she hovered over the arena floor, standing between Misery and AP.
“Greetings, mortals. I am the Goddess of Alcohol and Wine, Sienna. I have sensed a dispute between you two about the domain of Alcohol and have descended to mediate the conflict.”
She spoke lightly and with a slight tone of superiority, her nose raised to the sky.
Misery and AP broke off their stare off to size her up and down.
“Nice tits, bitch.”
“Good hips too. I bet her ass can take two dicks at once.”
They both passed nonchalant comments before resuming their practice of sending death glares at each other, completely ignoring the Goddess. Siena went red to the ears, furious to the point that she could barely breathe, which had the effect of making her ‘nice tits’ bounce hard.
Just as she was about to roar her displeasure, she noticed that AP smirked. “I accept your challenge, Nicholas Spencley.”
Sienna’s expression changed greatly, and she wanted to stop them, but it was too late. Once AP accepted the challenge, there was no longer anything she could do to interfere or prevent this, and the best she could do was serve as a judge for the match.
The AI acknowledged their bout and drafted an event for it.
｢Umbra Arena Area Announcement
A Duel Quest has been created! This event is limited to a select few parties and can only be resolved through direct participation!｣
｢Dao Battle – Duel Quest
Description: Two qualified Dao Children under the same Dao with different sub-Daos have clashed! One challenged the other to a battle of ideals, and the other accepted, as such, both parties must duke it out to win!
Limitation 1: This event is limited in participation to only two people (GS Misery & AP_Berzerker), and no proxies or replacements can be selected, no matter the reason.
Limitation 2: Both parties are not allowed to use any class, titles, abilities or consumables to enhance their performance nor are they allowed to use the same to hinder their opponent.
Provision 1: Techniques of a nature similar to the Dao in question may be used freely, the same holds true for all types of bloodline abilities with this restriction.
Provision 2: All Alcohol consumed during this event will be refunded in full, whether it originated from a player’s inventory or from the presiding judge.
May the rightful heir to the Dao win!
Rewards: Grandmaster Upgrade Token for Brewing Tradeskill, Lifetime supply of all Legendary and below alcohol, ‘Alcohol’s Inheritor’ Special Title.
Penalties: 10 year ban on drinking, Permanent inability to learn the Brewing Tradeskill and ‘Despised by Alcohol’ Special Title.｣
When they saw the terms of the duel, the expressions of the two changed severely. Looking at it like this, one literally could not afford to lose, or they would have their interest thoroughly crippled by the game.
Sienna could only sigh at this point. There was a reason she had rushed down here to stop them, and this was it. Whatever beef they had, resolving it through her would have been far better than permanently cutting one’s path to the future while leaving the other intact.
However, these two fellows were clearly impatient to have a go at each other and prove who was right, so Sienna could not do much to stop them. Rather, she settled in her place as judge and watched the proceedings calmly.
A table and two comfortable dinner chairs manifested before AP and Misery, almost like magic. Understanding something, the two used this chance to sit down and settle themselves before continuing to glare the other down.
The core members by the side were also watching seriously, wondering how this dramatic battle would end. Would Misery bestow his namesake upon his opponent, or would AP_Berzerker make Misery go berserk due to forced abstinance?
“As the judge of your duel, I hereby declare that the battle may begin!” Sienna announced grandly, waving her hand as a bucket of booze appeared on the table on either parties side, along with disposable cups.
“The first bucket!” Sienna declared right after doing this.
The eyes of Misery and AP lit up with excitement as they grabbed the buckets. They both fetched some booze with their disposable cups, then sniffed it deeply, savoring it right before downing the brew easily.
“Sigh, finally a good drink to quench my thirst and wet my throat.” Misery praised with satisfaction.
“Haha, not bad, not bad. I really was thirsty from arguing just now.” AP_Berzerker also stated with squinted eyes.
Seeing that they had almost said the same thing, the two humphed and then glared at the other person. Almost out of spite, they attempted to down their drink faster than the other, before they went on to fetch the next one.
Ironically, with both of their stats equalized during the match, their speed was the same, thus they continued to fetch and then drink, fetch and then drink, right until the first bucket of booze on both ends was left with less than a quarter.
Yet, apart from having slightly rosy cheeks, neither man was even slightly out of his wits. This shocked Sienna greatly, making her wonder how these two could withstand it. This bucket of brew was one of her own personal recipes, God’s Ambrosia!
This was the recipe she had crafted that had earned her the recognition of her fellow Gods, and even the respect of the former Gods of Brewing before they perished in the old era.
(Author’s Note: To clarify, she is not a Tradeskill God, not a Combat God, but a Concept God. Concept Gods are natural-born gods who embody a concept/attribute.)
It was something that was only used in the Divine Realm to celebrate great victories and used for important events. Even then, it would be drunk sparingly because even the toughest Gods would find themselves intoxicated like a common mortal after a few sips.
She put a bucket there to test these two fellows and see the depth of their abilities, but this was too much! She could partly understand why the Dao of Alcohol reacted so strongly when they decided to duel.
These two were great talents!
It would be a travesty for either one to fail and lose their qualification!
Thinking like this, Sienna’s face became hard as she was no longer interested in their competition, but began to think of ways to salvage this situation by the side. Meanwhile, Misery and AP pulled up their buckets and drank the remaining quarter with ease, burping loudly.
“Well, how do you do it, Drunk Bastard?” AP asked Misery with a red face.
“Do what, you mangy cur?” Misery responded with an equally red face.
“You know what I mean! How do you have the space in your goddamn stomach for all that booze. Are you pissing it out as we drink?!” AP bellowed while hooking a finger at Misery.
“Hmph, how laughable! The pot calling the kettle black! We both consumed the same amount of booze just now, so why am I the one being questioned?!” Misery shot back with a look of dissatisfaction.
AP simply snorted arrogantly. “That’s because I know how I am doing it and know that you can’t replicate my method!”
Misery sneered. “Dumbass, isn’t it just using our Tier 4 Body of Godliness to control our bodies to digest the alcohol properly?”
AP was surprised. “You’re also using that one? Huh, I guess great minds really do think alike.”
Misery rolled his eyes dramatically. “Using our bloodlines for this at such an early stage would be overkill. Come on, let’s continue to drink!”
Saying that, their buckets were automatically refilled and they began from the top once more, casually and unhurriedly fetching the booze and then drinking it. Since they weren’t worried about the liquid content filling their bellies and suppressing how much they could drink, they were inclined to savor the taste of this Divine brew from top to bottom.
“Hot damn, this stuff is good. It’s like kissing a Latina who is a hot little pepper, quite the experience.” AP commented as he drank more.
“Latinas, huh? You have good taste. Personally, I prefer Caucasian girls, but I’ve been with Asians, Africans and even Slavic beauties on account of my time in the army.” Misery praised as he nodded.
“Wow, Slavic beauties? Now that is something I have yet to try! Gist me Brother.” AP exclaimed with surprise.
“Of course, brother. Now, one time in Saint Petersburg, I was tasked to infiltrate the mansion of a Russian Oligarch. This was at the beginning of World War 3, when everyone was still scouting each other out, so I wasn’t given any kill orders.”
“Anyway, this Oligarch naturally had a Russian supermodel as his wife. Thing is, he hardly ever touched her from my observations! Instead, he enjoyed himself by raping the maids in his service, all girls between 12 and 15 years old. The supermodel was simply a trophy wife meant to confuse the public.”
Misery spat in disgust. “The freak had a deflowering fetish, so the moment he ruined one young girl, he would give her some money and throw her out. Since most of all of them were from poor backgrounds, they never reported him because of fear and, of course, because the money he gave them was too good.”
AP banged the table in rage. “Rubbish! Those girls should have ended his career!”
Misery shook his head. “Easier said than done. Even if they knew about social media and used it to out him, which we both know would be super effective, the fact of the matter was that they had no will to.”
“Those from different cultures and different backgrounds than us have different ways of thinking, so diverse and strange that they might as well be a different species from us.” Misery explained slowly.
“To us, it’s simple. Use a smart method to report his heeds and even seek the help of others abused to make your own voice louder. Even without evidence, his empire would quickly crumble with enough push. His own enemies would not let this chance up to devour his wealth and it is unlikely that they would be harmed at all after.”
Misery smiled bitterly. “To them, too, it’s simple. Isn’t a matter of losing virginity? It’s not like it’s edible. Later in life, they would have to give it away anyway, so why not get value out of it and put food on the table? Besides, why report him when he gave enough money to make them small millionaires of their own?”
“Not only were they able to feed their family, send their little siblings to school and prevent their aged parents from working dangerous factory jobs, they could now experience the life of glamour by buying bags, clothes and entering the social world.”
“With the experience of giving away their virginity while young, sex would have none or little to no romantic value for them. Rather, they all began treating it as something used to make money. So they would either find their way back to the oligarch or others like him in order to stabilize their flow of income.” Misery concluded.
AP smiled bitterly as well, sighing. “I know what you mean. I have experienced a similar mentality to this when I was sent to the Dominican Republic to intercept a Superhuman Experimental Facility.”
“I happened to meet a woman there who had gone through the stages you just explained. She saw me as a rich white man, a moneybag, so you can be sure she gave me the time of my life. Despite having my Werewolf gene, I was seriously on the verge of death from her prowess.”
AP looked up as he sipped his drink. “I certainly knew what she wanted, so I not only gave her a green card, but I took her back to the Central Country as a Thrall for my clan in Supernatural. She is now far happier with her lot than ever, but I couldn’t help but feel sad. A Thrall is not a very benevolent position, but it seems to be far better than what she dealt with before.”
Misery nodded. “Such a mentality… I won’t dare to pass judgment on right or wrong. I just wish things could be different.”
AP sighed as well. “So do I, brother… so do I.”
“Right, so, about that supermodel?” AP shook off his melancholy and asked with interest.
Misery smiled and drunk a full cup before continuing. “After scooping that Oligarch out for a week, I decided to gather information through seducing his obviously unhappy and dissatisfied wife.”
Misery raised an eyebrow and made an expression of ‘hot damn’. “Brother, I don’t think it was me who seduced her that day, but the other way round. I tried to scare her, but she laughed in my face, and I could see her eyes light up when she saw my looks.”
Misery shuddered. “I had gone from predator to prey, and she told me, straightforwardly, in a deep Slavic accent, that she was going to satisfy her years of suffering on me.”
“After that was a battle more brutal than the Cold War. It was as if she was taking revenge for Stalin and Lenin. Brother, she rode me with the fury of Communism seeking revenge on its aggressors.” Misery revealed with a look of fear.
AP was enraptured, and he downed another cup out of nervousness. “How was it, did you win?”
Misery smiled suddenly. “Of course! At the end of the day, she was a normal human without Control nor a bloodline. She had some skill and was powered by the spirits of defeated Commies, but aren’t I also powered by the spirits of Washington, Roosevelt and Kennedy? How could I lose?”
AP roared with laughter. “My man!!!”
Misery also laughed and the two clinked buckets as they downed the remaining half within with ease, smashing the bucket on the table and calling for another. The bucket automatically refilled and the two continued.
At some point, while they were chatting, they called over the other core members and began drinking with everybody, turning the atmosphere lively. Sienna, seeing this, had her eyes light up.
She sneakily judged that the duel had been called off since other people had interfered, but Misery and AP did not see the system messages because they were already very intoxicated.
Kiran and Sublime sat on either side of Misery, the troublesome nephew trying to remain conscious so as not to embarrass his uncle, while the evil loli had long passed that stage, cutely snoring on the table.
With AP were Nightwalker and Shadowheart, who were enthusiastically keeping up with the two. The four especially chatted about many things, and then listened to Boyd and Uno recount some tales of Umbra in the early days when their Guildmaster had still been adventuring with them.
After that, they listened to a sermon from Rambunctious Buttlover on the beauty of Booty and how to grade and distinguish booty. Many fellows felt like their souls had been cleansed and their understanding of the world increased, while the girls were simply speechless.
Nevertheless, they at least learned the grading system and graded themselves accurately, realizing that none of them were below par.
Those like Elle, Slim Fatty, Bella, Loving Aunt, Lucia and Keira who were at the A grade or above quickly found rapport with each other and began teasing themselves. They also bullied those at the B-grade and below, but only out of goodwill.
All in all, the arena was filled with laughter, joy and good booze.
What more could one ask for?