Heart of Darkness

Angelica didn’t listen to a word that Lord Rayven read for her last night even though she loved his voice. After he ground his hips against hers like that her mind had shut down and something she never felt before awakened in her. It kept her from thinking about anything else than what her body felt.

She looked at the empty bed beside her. Where did he go? And then she looked around his room. It was a mess after bringing all of her things and placing them just anywhere. Clearly, she would stay here from now on. It was real now and she became very nervous. She had only shared space with her brother, not with a full-grown man.

How would she bathe or change comfortably? She shook her head remembering that he would see all of her sooner or later and her heart skipped a beat. She was really a wife now. What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to act? She had prepared herself for the cold Rayven when she was getting married not this one.

Angelica took a deep breath to stop the panic. She didn’t have to know everything right? She could just let him do whatever needed to be done.

Lord Rayven finally came through the door. He seemed to be dressed to leave and his hair was still wet as if he had taken a bath.

His eyes were calm again as he looked at her. She realized that they somehow became darker every time he was angry or every time he kissed her.

“Good morning Angel,” he greeted casually.

Oh, Lord. She needed help to understand and handle this.

“Good morning,” she replied.

He walked to the dresser and picked up a comb from the drawer. She could see that he got a new mirror and he combed his hair looking at himself. She watched him in silence. Watched how the comb went through his dark wet hair, then studied his broad shoulders, his back, and his long legs. Curiosity always got the best out of her and now more than ever she was curious about the male body. His body and what it did to her. She was also curious and a little afraid of what else her body could feel.

Her mind got carried away and went back to when his whole body was exposed to her. This time her mind stayed there, letting herself remember all the details.

“Oh Lord,” she breathed forgetting for a moment that he was in the room.

He turned around, “what is wrong?”

“Nothing!” She shook her head with eyes wide.

No privacy. He could not only hear her heartbeat, he could hear everything. If she made any small movement or even took a breath, he would know.

“Where do you take a bath?” she asked him curiously. From what she knew Sarah never prepared him a bath or served him food. The food part she understood since he didn’t need to eat much but the bathing…

“I go to a bathing house,” he said.

“And your clothes? They are not among the washed ones.”

“I throw them and get new ones.”

“Every time?!” She was shocked.

Every day, for how many years she didn’t know, he threw clothes instead of washing them?

He nodded as if it wasn’t something big.

“My Lord! You can’t do that!” she scolded.

“Why not?”

“Because they can be washed. It is such a waste. There are people who don’t have anything to wear.”

He nodded slowly this time, “alright.” He held his hands as if surrendering.

Angelica didn’t realize she sounded angry and annoyed. She blamed it on her period again. She was in pain.

“I won’t throw them,” he assured her.

“Good.”

“I will have to go to work,” he said.

“It is not safe outside.”

“Don’t worry. I will take myself directly to the castle.”

She nodded.

He went to another drawer and pulled out a belt as he spoke. “Make sure to eat breakfast and lunch. I am going to ask Sarah and scold her if you don’t.”

“Why would you scold her?”

Angelica had already scared her. She would apologize today. That was not right no matter how angry she was.

“Because…” he began wrapping the belt around his waist, “scolding you doesn’t work.” ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀ​ꪶ​

“Don’t do that.”

“I won’t. If you eat,” he armed himself with two daggers before looking for a jacket.

“When will you come back?”

“In the evening,” he told her as he put his jacket on. Then he approached her and she wondered what he was going to do. He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. “Goodbye,” he said and vanished.

Angelica sat there frozen. Who was this man? He was showing her a new side every day.

Helping herself get ready, Angelica wore a simple dress without a corset. She was already dealing with a back and stomachache. Then she went to the kitchen where Sarah was preparing breakfast.

“Good morning, My Lady.” She smiled.

“Good morning,” Angelica replied walking inside. “Let me help you.”

“Oh no. Lord Rayven strictly forbade me to let you do any work.” She said.

That man! He really wanted to show her who ruled. If Sarah didn’t get in the middle of this she would make it very hard for him.

“I am sorry about yesterday when I yelled at you,” Angelica said.

Sarah waved with her hand, “Oh no, my lady. Don’t apologize. We all have bad days and you always treat me so kindly.”

“Let me help you then. Lord Rayven is not here. It will be our secret.” Angelica smiled to herself.

Angelica helped Sarah make breakfast and they ate together. Then they went to her new room to tidy up, rearrange a few things and make it look decent. She thought of getting rid of all the dark colors. There was too much black and brown but she decided to keep it that way. It represented Lord Rayven very well, dark and mysterious. Instead of removing his things, she added a touch of what represented her instead. Added some light colors and life here and there.

Angelica studied the room, feeling satisfied with the result. What would Lord Rayven think? She felt like his new self might not get angry but she couldn’t be sure.

Well, it didn’t matter. If he was going to make her stay in the same room, she would make it hers as well.

Leaving the room she went to the backyard to see how her chickens were doing. Simu was done building them their home and made sure they had something to eat.

“The house looks good,” she told Simu. “Maybe we should buy sheep as well.”

He looked horrified and she chuckled. When he realized that she was teasing him he smiled.

The day went by slowly. Angelica decided not to worry but she couldn’t help it. Sometimes in the middle of doing something she would wonder if Lord Rayven was alright and sometimes she would remember what happened last night.

She went to the room with the balcony and watched her home from afar. She was glad it stayed the same way. One day when William had a family of his home, he could live where he grew up.

As she watched the house, she saw Lord Rayven riding up the hill on a white horse. She had never seen him on a white horse. He had a black and a brown one.

He rode through the gates that opened by themselves. So he could do that too? And then they closed before he got down and clapped the horse adjusting its hair.

He turned around and looked up as if he knew exactly where she was. Well, he did know it seemed. He waved for her to come down.

Angelica made her way down to meet him where he waited for her with the white horse. He didn’t take it to the stall.

“Did you buy a new horse?” she asked.

“Yes. Is she beautiful?”

Angelica stroked its hair. It was soft and smooth. “She is very beautiful.” She also looked strong.

“She is yours,” he said.

Angelica looked at him surprised. “Mine?”

“Yes. I found out that you know how to ride and you like animals.”

Angelica nodded. How did he find out? Did William tell him? She had against her father’s will learned how to ride but her father had refused to buy her a horse.

“Do you like her?” He asked.

“I do. Thank you,” she said. She couldn’t believe this beautiful horse was hers. She longed to go for a ride, feel the sun on her skin and the wind against her hair. But going out now wasn’t safe.

As if knowing what she was thinking he cupped her cheek. “You won’t be locked in here forever, Angelica. You and I will go out and ride side by side one day.”

One day. Angelica really hoped to see that day but God save her if disappointment and more pain awaited.

“My Lord, you should give her a name..” She said.