Heart of Darkness

Lord Rayven nodded. “What else do you need?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you done or should I wait some more?”

“I am ready,” she said.

She looked behind him at the bed and then at him.

No heart. Be still! But it didn’t listen.

Angelica cleared her throat as if trying to mute the sound of her wildly beating heart. She walked past him and went to bed. She curled under the blankets as if that would save her from this man. God, he was a demon. Nothing could save her from me. He had already told her she couldn’t run away from him. Not that she believed he was any danger to her. It wasn’t that kind of running away she was thinking of. It was just this new unfamiliar feeling he awakened in her.

Suddenly fire burned in the hearth and he came around the bed to his side. As usual, he took off his shirt and Angelica felt like he kept his trousers on only to not make her uncomfortable. She didn’t know about uncomfortable but she would surely feel cautious. Especially now when she wasn’t the most comfortable in her own body. Hopefully, he would sleep so she wouldn’t have to deny him or explain herself.

Angelica closed her eyes just to make this night go away. Last night he had surprised her, suddenly taking her from her room and straight to his bed. He hadn’t given her a chance to think and made her surrender before she knew. Thankfully he stopped before he discovered on his own that she was bleeding.

“Are you cold?” He asked her.

“No,” she said her eyes still closed.

She felt him stroke her arm. “Good night,” he said.

“Good night.”

Angelica felt like he was watching her so she couldn’t help but open her eyes after a while. She was right. He was staring at her with his head resting on his arm.

Angelica shut her eyes unable to endure his scrutiny.

“You are adorable,” he said and she could hear the smile in his voice.

“Don’t stare,” she said and turned the other way blushing. She has never been one to easily blush or shy away even when men stared at her directly in the eyes. She would usually stare back but the way he looked at her just made her feel weak.

Lord Rayven moved closer and wrapped his arms around her from behind pressing her back against his chest. Angelica’s stomach fluttered. She couldn’t understand why her body kept acting like this. Sometimes just warm and comfortable, other times excited and nervous in a way that frightened her.

Lord Rayven held her tightly against his body and soon she relaxed and melted into his arms. His warmth slowly made her fall asleep.

When she woke up in the morning, she felt a pain in her shoulder and neck. She had been sleeping in the same position the whole night and Lord Rayven’s arm was still wrapped around her.

She tried to remove his arm but he held her firmly. “Are you awake?” She asked but got no reply.

Was he like this while asleep? She carefully turned around with his arm still around her and found her face close to his. His eyes were closed but what surprised her was his face. She had never seen his face like this before. His scars were almost completely healed and his beauty peaked through. She had seen him in better conditions but this was the best she had seen him so far.

Unable to believe it she brought her fingers to his face and touched his skin. She could still feel a few scars under the tip of her fingers. It must be the latest ones that she could feel. The other ones were only diffuse and almost gone.

********

Rayven slowly left the darkness and quiet behind and felt himself swaying toward the light. His senses awakened and he could hear voices in the distance, breaths, heartbeats. He could smell all kinds of scents, his wife, food, the fresh breeze outside and he could feel the soft and warm body of a woman in his arms. He could feel her gentle touch on his face. A face that felt unfamiliar to him. It had healed which meant the itching would begin soon.

Rayven didn’t want her to see his healed face. She would only be disappointed later when he scarred himself again. Releasing her from his hold, he sat up. His sudden change of position startled her. He looked outside the window and found an excuse for his behavior.

“I must be late,” he said and hurried out of bed.

Angelica sat up and looked at him confused. Rayven hated acting this way but he really didn’t want her to see his face. Assuming what he looked like before the scars and knowing what she could have if he only stopped scarring himself were two different things.

He got dressed quickly while trying to keep that side of his face hidden from her. He could already feel the itching starting slowly. It was only a matter of time before he looked like his old self. After he put his shoes on, he paused. He should stop this or he would confuse her even more and push her away.

Turning around he looked at her. “I’ll be back in the evening. Make sure to eat and rest,” he told her.

She nodded. ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀ​ꪶ​

Rayven left the room feeling disappointed with himself. He went to wash his face and when he looked himself in the mirror his heart skipped a beat. He was seeing more and more of Demos. This was almost what he used to look like. He washed his face several times as if that would help but nothing changed.

Before he could think of doing something stupid he decided to keep himself occupied. He teleported to Lucrezia’s cave to get back his book. He had to wait for a while before she appeared.

“You really can’t stay away from me for too long,” she said.

She was dressed like the human females which only meant that she was spending time with them. Did she find a human male?

“No, I didn’t. ” She replied to his unspoken question.

“I just came to get back my book,” he said.

She held her hand out and the book materialized into her hand. She tossed him the book and he caught it. “There you go.”

“The boy, William wants to meet you,” he told her.

She nodded thoughtfully as she sat down on her throne.

“Why did you meet him before? What do you want from him?” He asked.

“Don’t worry. I mean the child no harm.”

No harm? Did harm have the same meaning to her as it did to him?

“Don’t confuse him. He already has a hard time.”

She just stared at him.

“Do you know Constantine?”

Why was he even asking? She wasn’t going to help him. She was a punisher and her job was just that.

“Yes.”

“I am going to meet him,” he said.

“You should discuss such matters with Skender,” she told him.

Of course, she would say that and he would have to listen to Skender or someone would be punished.

She smirked.

He was about to leave when he thought of another question. He really didn’t want to ask her but she was the only female he knew.

“Do women need privacy?” He asked her.

She pressed her lips together as if holding back a laughter. “Oh, Rayven. Are you being a noisy husband?”

Why did he even ask?

“Of course. Everyone needs some privacy. Even if you are married it is good to have some time alone for yourself. I guess human females need even more privacy. They are unlike us. A lady is raised to be shy, innocent, and modest. You know how humans are with their women.”

Did he?

“I can’t tell you enough. You should take a walk outside and educate yourself,” she said.

Rayven braced himself for another overload of information. Every time he thought he had learned something there was more to learn. He walked down the streets as everyone stared at him. This time not with horror or disgust as before. They just wondered what had happened to his face probably because his scars weren’t as severe.

Rayven knew human females bled once every month but he never cared to know more than that. Now as he gathered information many women could feel discomfort and pain when bleeding. Usually back pain or a stomachache. Some women felt emotional during that period. They could either feel angry or sad and some craved more food than normal. Some women felt nothing. Rayven became really confused. Clearly, it was different for every woman.

One thing hadn’t changed since when he was Demos. Women shouldn’t talk about their period. Not even to their husbands. They would let them know in a subtle way if they had to.

What kind of rules were these? Rayven had always felt baffled about human culture. There was so much human females couldn’t do that demon females could and did. Human females weren’t even supposed to initiate any sexual contact first or they would be suspected of not being innocent. Not much had changed about women’s position in society.

As much as he hated these rules he understood that Angelica was a human female raised in this culture and he would have to accept that. Having privacy and her personal space as a lady was important and he should give it to her. He was glad he didn’t mention anything about her period causing her any embarrassment.. In time he would show her the freedom she could have as a woman being married to a demon.