Heart of Darkness

Angelica was surprised as to why Lord Rayven suddenly became angry with Hilde. She hadn’t even tried to speak yet and he didn’t know what kind of relationship they had. If he saw them together then that would be even more reason to wonder why he was being the way he was.

Hilde’s eyes widened and she seemed as surprised as her. She looked at her for help, but Angelica didn’t know how to react in this awkward situation.

“Uh…I apologize. I am used to calling her by her first name. We have known each other since childhood.” She began.

Lord Rayven still looked displeased.

“Congratulations Lord and Lady Rayven.” She then smiled.

“Thank you, Hilde,” Angelica replied when Lord Rayven remained quiet.

She knew that look on Hilde’s face when things didn’t go as she wanted. She was angry and embarrassed but concealing it well with a pretentious smile.

Not knowing what else to say or do, Hilde wished them well and then returned to her place. It was good that she decided not to embarrass herself any further. Even though Angelica was disappointed and hurt by her previous friends, she wouldn’t rejoice to see them in difficult positions.

It was unfortunate that they were raised in a society where women were turned against each other and taught to only have one goal in life. Marrying into a good household. She wished she could blame all of their behavior on society’s rules and not be angry, but she couldn’t.

“Lady Rayven.” A gentle voice pulled her out of her bad thoughts. “May I have a dance?” His Majesty asked.

Angelica staggered. Why would he want to dance with her? It wouldn’t look good. For him.

She couldn’t deny the King but he didn’t hold his hand out as if he didn’t want to pressure her into accepting his offer.

“Yes, Your Majesty.” She replied. Only then did he offer her his hand and she took it.

Angelica tried not to look around and pretend that no one was staring at them, but she knew they were. It was as if their gazes left marks on her skin.

When they came to the dancefloor, she felt strange putting her hand on His Majesty’s shoulder as he put his light on her back, almost not touching. She didn’t know if she felt strange because of their history or because of the situation and him being the King.

“I make you uncomfortable.” He said as they began to dance.

Angelica shook her head as if someone had stolen her tongue.

“I’ll leave after this. But I wanted to apologize.”

Apologize? She looked up at him and into his blue eyes. She had noticed one thing about him since the beginning. He was, as her brother said, charming and his expressions hard to read. He was always polite with his words and said the right things. His face was like a mask, not concealing his real emotions. Perhaps because he was a King he was taught to behave in a certain way. But the mask did not cover his eyes and Angelica could see something in them.

He is a good person, she remembered her brother saying about him.

Good? He never said the same thing about Lord Rayven.

He had said he trusted him and that he liked him, but never chose the word ‘good’ to describe him. While with the King, he said he was good but they had no reason to trust him.

Angelica knew that her brother’s choice of words was deliberate which made her suddenly wonder more about these men. One hid behind a mask and the other hid by distancing himself. Almost as if afraid she would find out who he truly was.

“I am sorry for all the pain I caused you and I am sorry for your loss.”

Angelica had many questions she wanted to ask him but all she said was, “thank you.”

She wanted to ask if he knew about her father’s plans when he took her to the river. If he did, then why didn’t he kill him right away? Not that she wanted him to. And then when he killed him, why didn’t he expose him as a traitor? He even let her father have a proper funeral. Why did he do all of that? He even took her brother to a military camp.

Now she knew that she had wanted to be angry with him and resent him. Shouldn’t she feel that way toward the man who killed her father? But she didn’t feel those things and she wasn’t uncomfortable with him but with herself around him, almost frightened by how easily she trusted that he meant well.

Did it have to do with the familiarity she felt with him? She also wanted to ask about the dream but saying she had a dream about him would be inappropriate. She would have to find other ways to ask but she was too tired to think now. ρꪖꪕᦔꪖꪕꪫꪣꫀ​ꪶ​

“You chose a fitting color for your wedding dress. Red is the color of confidence and courage. It catches people’s attention. It is not a color for someone who wants to hide or not be seen.” He said.

“I am glad I chose it then.” She smiled.

He stopped dancing and took her hand instead. “Thank you for the dance.”

“Thank you for coming here, Your Majesty,” she said.

She had wondered why he had suddenly stopped dancing but others did the same thing and went to stand around the dance floor instead.

“It is time for the special dance. The dance with your husband.” He said nodding toward Lord Rayven who came to the dance floor.

This was the part she dreaded. Being the only ones dancing and the other’s watching made her want to disappear. Lord Rayven looked like he didn’t want to be there either. If he hated crowds then it was understandable.

His Majesty gave her hand to Lord Rayven before leaving them alone. Angelica looked up at him. His eyes were still hollow and cold. Why were they changing back and forth? His whole behavior was changing back and forth. Could she ever get used to this? She wished he would be one way as not to expect anything. This only confused her.

Lord Rayven drew her closer and then gently placed his hand on her back while she rested hers on his shoulder. He was a bit taller than His Majesty. Both the Lords and His Majesty were taller than the rest of the men in the room.

The music changed and Lord Rayven gently began to sway her to the music. “Are you alright?” She asked as he still seemed tense.

“Yes. Are you?”

She nodded. Angelica could hear that the distant tone in his voice returned. How sad, she thought. He was looking at her, yet not. It was worse than when he wasn’t looking at her at all.

Clenching his jaw, he picked up the pace to follow the changing music. He moved them with ease across the dance floor and made her swirl. Angelica was surprised that he was a good dancer.

“You dance very well.” She told him. She wondered who he danced with to be this good. “How did you learn?”

“There isn’t much difference between dancing and fighting.” He said.

“Well, I can dance but I can’t fight.” She said.

“You fight all the time. You fight against everything and everyone.”

That was truly how she felt.

“I am glad you fought by my side today.” She said.

He loosened his hold on her hand and for a moment she thought he would let go but he didn’t.

“Don’t get used to it.” He said.

She nodded. “I will not. But I am still thankful for the times you did.”

He remained quiet.

Being close to him, Angelica remembered their kiss and her heart skipped. As if he could hear it his eyes narrowed. Then she remembered the panicked look in his eyes. She had never seen anyone look so frightened.

The no touching him, not going to his side of the castle, refusing to look at her wasn’t meant to be mean. He was scared. Why?

“There is a lot I don’t know about you.” She began.

“You don’t want to know me.”

“I do. You said you would behave as I wished today. I want to know more about you.”

He looked at her for a long moment before replying. “Alright. What do you want to know?”