Chapter 99: Meow! Meow! Motherf*cker!
Chapter 99: Meow! Meow! Motherf*cker!
Colt’s head rested on his palms. His body ached, yet he was feeling fine. On his lap was a round chick, looking at him with a tilted head.
On Colt’s shoulder was Fluff, glaring at the purple colored Chick.
‘It looks like the one you get at a festival…will it also turn into a different color after some time?’
The Chick was no bigger than his palms. It’s roundness and tiny feathers made it look like a ball, the two crimson lines traced from the corner of its eyes to the tip of its undeveloped tail, which resembled that fire was rather charming.
But something else needed to be addressed before moving forward.
“Hey, Fluff? I thought it was your sibling?”
“Meow.”
“What do you mean, it IS? This thing has feathers, and you have fur; this thing has a beak, you have a mouth; this thing is a bird, and you’re a cat…don’t you think there’s something wrong with this?”
“Myao?” Fluff shrugged both its shoulders as it could not understand why Colt was stressing over this, “Nya, nya, meow.”
“Well…I can’t argue that a normal cat also doesn’t come out of an egg, touché.”
He stopped caring about logic and simply accepted it as facts.
‘This is still a fantasy world…there are things bound to be outside my comprehension.’
Nevertheless, Colt still found the situation weirder than average. But an even more critical question rose from the back of his head.
‘If this thing is a chicken…and I start learning its language, will I still be able to eat something like roasted chicken?’
Tis a question that must be answered. But of course, the answer will not come to him unless he delves deep into his desires…which would always say yes, no matter how he tries looking at it.
‘It’s too complicated to be answered.’
Thinking of some roasted chicken Colt looked at the Chick with strangeness in his eyes. His stomach grumbled and demanded food. His mind couldn’t function well enough that he spoke aloud.
“I wonder what you’d taste like.”
The Chick jolted and turned to look at Fluff with fear in its eyes only to see its supposed sibling looking at it with interest…it also wanted to have a taste.
“Nyaaa.” A suggestion came from Fluff.
Colt was taken aback by this as he looked at the feline like it was crazy, “Are you sane? Don’t even say you’ll have a taste. That’s ethically wrong.”
“Nya, mew, meow? Myaaa, mow, mewwwe.”
“Well, it’s not that I’m not curious about it…wait, what do you mean immortal? Do you mean this little thing can regenerate if we take a drumstick…nah, that’s still not going to work. This guy’s whole body is as big as a drumstick. We won’t feel full.”
Fluff grew angry and irritated at his many excuses.
Smack!
“Nyaaaa! (Stop being a bitch!)” Fluff roared aloud.
BaM!
“How dare you slap me, you traitor who kept watching as I almost got my head taken away!” Colt retaliated with a punch!
Thus, a fight between the supposedly injured Colt and Lord Phat Fluff, who wanted to eat something it shouldn’t commenced.
Like always, the fight was intense. Against all the odds, the cat managed to match Colt’s strength without a problem.
The Chick was forced to stand on its altar and watch the two idiots duke it out. After some time, the roars of the cat and the bellowing of the Human stopped.
Their fight ended in a draw.
“Nyaaa.” Fluff praised.
“You’re not so bad yourself…you traitorous cat.” Colt said with a smirked.
All the while the standoff between the two continued, a cute voice echoed inside the cave, “Brother…why are you talking like that? I thought you hated being a cat?”
“!!!!” Colt was alarmed and looked around, trying to find the origin of the voice. He saw no one other than the Chick waddling towards Fluff.
“???”
The Chick stopped in front of Fluff, and Colt read between the line and realized something huge. He and Fluff eventually crossed eyes, “…is the Chick telling the truth? You’re telling me you can speak human tongue all this time?”
“Nyani? (What? Me cannot understand.)” Fluff looked the other way; it was sweating profusely.
“Human, do you mean you’ve been talking with him using the language of cats?” The Chick questioned.
“Yes?”
“I thought you would never act like that. You said our kind should not act like domesticated pets. That we should be proud and aloof.” The Chick stated whilst giggling like a child.
Colt stared at Fluff with a different kind of intensity, “Hey, weren’t you always asking for a belly rub? What’s this Chick talking about? Aloof? Proud? The Head Chef and the Maids also told me that you begged for food every so often, and you’ve been coercing my daughters and Lyra of their allowance to buy food for you. Hmmm, proud, and aloof indeed.”
Fluff was now drenched in sweat. Its white fur was turning red from embarrassment.
The Chick saw this and looked at Fluff with confusion, “Brother, is that true? I thought begging is for the lowest of the low? When I gave you food, you rejected them, and we even fought when I questioned your values. Brother, what happened? What happened to the proud and aloof Sovereign of the Land?” The Chick looked truly hurt.
“Yeah, what happened to it?” Colt fanned the flames.
Fluff trembled, tears welled up on its eyes. It looked at the Chick with reddened eyes and pounced at it while roaring with a cute feline centric voice.
“Shut upppp! How dare you humiliate me like this, you ungrateful brat! I just freed you from your seal, and you’re acting like a pompous shit who knows it all? I speak the language of cats because it’s short and convenient, deal with it. What wrong with saying all of this with four sounds? This is how I talk now, you….”
Fluff was in tears as he strangled the Chick with its fluffy paws.
Colt watched this with a wide grin on his face.
He was having fun seeing a kitten strangle a chick. He was even cheering from the side as he further fanned the flames.
“Chicky sibling, you can do it. Retaliate against that traitorous fake. Proud and aloof! Hah, what a joke.”
But of course, Fluff, who heard Colt found his irritating words, used its claws, and scratched his face, saying, “Colt, you useless shit! I just helped you with your injuries be more grateful!”
After hearing the one who caused his injuries because of its choice to not help him cursed and injure him, Colt was enraged once more, “What was that!? You bastard! How dare you say that you traitorous faker of a cat!? Come here you. I’ll teach you fucking a lesson!”
“Come on! I’ll tear you to pieces like fish! COME AT ME!” Fluff’s cute voice was filled with deep seethed hatred against the Human who had been laughing at him from the sideline.
The Chick, who had been strangled, was also pissed, “Brother! How dare you! I merely told the truth! You’re not my proud brother! You’re a fake Brother!” It also joined the fray.
Neun, who had been taking care of Sera and Avern, looked at Colt’s direction and saw Colt fighting with a palm-size cat and a palm-size Chick. He was once again left speechless.