His Rui

Chapter 231 – Why Can’t You Trust Me?

Sitting at the edge of the bed, Xi Ying looked at the peacefully sleeping Li Rui.

On the other side of the bed, he found Li Hua sleeping while leaning her head against the bed. Her hand rested near her mistress' hand. 

Li Hua's words suddenly flashed in his mind. Every single word said by the maid describing how her mistress had suffered in the last four years was fresh in his memory.

Xi Ying blamed himself for not giving Li Rui what she had deserved in those four years…for not completing the promises had made while taking her on the night of four years ago.

However, he suddenly was unable to find a way of redeeming himself.

'Will Li Rui be ever able to trust him…blindly just like he trusts her?' thought Xi Ying.

 At this point, his concern was not for winning her heart but her trust. 

'How can I win you?'

He whispered… eyes laced with intense love as his hand moved forward to touch Li Rui's face.

However, just when his fingers were a needle distance away from her soft white skin, her clean black eyes opened and they looked at him with the same coldness and sharpness.

And Xi Ying took back his fingers with a bitter smile on his lips.

Li Rui sat down on the bed immediately as her sharp eyes stared at Xi Ying closely. Her one hand stayed inside the sleeve of her other hand and Xi Ying, of course, noticed it.

Moving his eyes away, he breathed sharply to control the anger he was feeling inside his chest. 

He can't bear to see her being so wary of him.

For god sake, everyone except him in this world could think of harming her…but how could he make her understand this.

The next moment, however, he looked at his wife with a smirk that hid the bitterness inside his chest.

"What? Are you afraid of me?"

He leaned closer to Li Rui with the same smirk on his lips as he whispered

The smirk faltered for a moment when Li Rui's cold eyes fell in his sight for a moment but he composed himself very soon as he continued. 

"Are not your actions very ironic, Li Rui? You were very eager to take your own life just a few shichen ago and now you are looking so wary of me. Why?"

Xi Ying's smirk was now cold and his eyes were filled with anger.

Whenever he would remember the scene of Li Rui pointing the dagger at herself, his heart would start to get filled with so much anger and …pain that he wished to lock Li Rui somewhere away …where she could never do something like that again.   

Still, somewhere a sense of rationality was still left in his mind and heart, fortunately, that would scream that he would only push her away from himself if he did something like that.

His anger lessened a little when he saw regret flashing in Li Rui's eyes at his words.

She regretted her actions. Xi Ying knew since the moment he had threatened Li Rui to destroy Li Clan if she harmed herself.

Still, he asked Li Hua to not leave Li Rui alone because he was afraid that she would do something foolish again. 

Sleeping on the edge of the bed, the same Li Hua woke up when she heard the silent whispers.

She was startled when she saw her mistress and Lord Xi sitting close to each other and hurriedly lowered her eyes.

"Leave"

She heard Xi Ying's cold voice and her fists clenched at the thought of leaving her mistress.

Li Hua was now more protective of Li Rui after she had gotten to know of her mistress's pregnancy.

'This time she will not let Lord Xi take her mistress child away. She will fight until her last breath.' Li Hua had promised herself after seeing how Xi Ling defended Lord Xi. 

She was not moved at all with whatever Xi Ling told her about Lord Xi.

Seeing her mistress' suffering in those four years, Li Hua's heart was now colder towards anyone except her mistress.

It didn't matter whether Lord Xi was lied to by his own people…her mistress had suffered from all those things in the end and she could never forget that.

However, this firm resolution of not leaving her mistress alone became weak when Li Hua heard her mistress' soft voice.

"Leave."

Li Hua raised her head and looked at her mistress with eyes full of pleads but her mistress looked at her firmly silently indicating that her order will not change.

So Li Hua left the room obediently.

"Promise me that you will never try to harm yourself, Rui"

Li Rui heard as soon as Li Hua left and looked at the man in front of her with blank eyes.

Her face was grasped by those slender and elegant hands firmly and her hold on the dagger inside her sleeve tightened.

Despite noticing her actions, Xi Ying placed his forehead against hers and whispered while looking in Li Rui's blank eyes.

"Rui, please promise me…or I shall be forced to do something that I don't want to."

Xi Ying's eyes had pain, vulnerability …vulnerability of being left alone as he tried to make Li Rui believe his words.    

Li Rui herself didn't know why she nodded her head.

She gripped Xi Ying's hand and put them down from her face as she said in an emotionless face. 

"Rui already regrets thinking of harming her unborn child. Rui loves her children …unlike you Lord Xi."

Xi Ying sighed in relief when he heard these words. Looking at her blank eyes, he whispered

"I also do, Rui. Those children…our children as long as birthed by you…I shall always love them."

He, however, found no trace in Li Rui that could assure him that she believed his words.  

"I never tried to harm Li Clan after my promise to you for saving Li Clan."

He whispered hoping that she would trust him but those eyes remained cold and blank with their sight fixed on him.

Xi Ying suddenly felt a little frustrated. He grasped Li Rui's face again in his hands and made her look in his eyes that were full of pleading …requesting her to answer his question that he was going to ask ahead.

"Why can't you trust me, Rui? Why? Please tell me."

His request was accepted and an answer in a cold voice fell in Xi Ying's ears.

"Because I don't have any reason to trust you."