His Rui

Chapter 238 – She Had Blamed Herself All That While

'Just like you did? …when my child was killed by someone else…'

The silence of the beautiful chambers was very piercing to the ears.

Zhao Zhang Wei's face was pale as he hugged Yi Huiqing in his arms. His hold around her loosened slowly when he realized what she had just said. 

Yi Huiqing abruptly left her arms as if she was just waiting to do that.

Her actions were very akin to a knife and Zhao Zhang Wei felt this knife stabbing his heart mercilessly again and again until…he looked in those eyes.

Those beautiful black eyes were filled with so much pain that for a moment, Zhao Zhang Wei felt very scared to look into them.

So he moved his eyes away pretending to be oblivion to the pain in those eyes.

A twinge of guilt swiftly rose inside his heart.

Hadn't he done the same thing in the past?

In the past, when those eyes used to have unconditional love for him…even after knowing everything, he pretended to be oblivion, and today…he was doing the same.

And when he heard Yi Huiqing's next words, Zhao Zhang Wei felt the guilt inside his heart only becoming very large. 

"You're still the same."

How could Yi Huiqing not notice his attempt of avoiding her eyes?

She, here, had bared herself …her sorrow, her pain in front of him …just to see whether she would see any guilt in his phoenix eyes but what was the result?

He very effortlessly looked away from her eyes…this was the result she got.

Yi Huiqing laughed in a low voice. However, her laughter didn't have any humor. It was full of bitterness. She laughed at herself. She mocked her past self inside her heart.

Zhao Zhang Wei didn't like Yi Huiqing's laughter for the first time.

"Stop."

He ordered coldly expecting her to stop instantly.

Yi Huiqing, however, didn't seem to hear his order. She laughed loudly …clutching her stomach as if she had lost her mind.

Hot tears streamed down her eyes but she continued to laugh …this time she pretended to be oblivion of everything just like Zhao Zhang Wei.

This was a broken woman who was mourning over the death of her love … a mother who was mourning over the loss of her child.       

Even Zhao Zhang Wei didn't get to know when the corner of his own eyes got wet. He turned around swiftly. 

By doing this, he successfully changed the image in front of his eyes. His ears, however, were still open to that ear-piercing laughter. 

"W…what did … you say just now?"

It took him a few moments to stutter these few words out but he said whatever came in his heart…whatever he could do to stop Yi Huiqing from laughing.

And fortunately, the laughter really stopped this time.

Zhao Zhang Wei didn't turn around to look at Yi Huiqing. Behind him, Yi Huiqing had a cold smile on his lips as she straightened her back which she had bent because of laughing loudly while clutching her stomach.

With slow steps, she walked to stand in front of Zhao Zhang Wei who looked startled seeing the cold smile on her lips.

Eye filled with pain, Zhao Zhang Wei looked at his wangfei and instantly knew that by asking this question, he had just put their relationship in more trouble.

"Your Highness doesn't know what this one is talking about."

Yi Huiqing raised her eyebrows and looked at her so-called husband with an innocent smile on her lips.

  "That's alright. This wangfei doesn't mind to make Your Highness recall if Your Highness has forgotten something that this wangfei remember."

Yi Huiqing continued very politely as if she was not talking about the death of her unborn children.

"Three years ago, this wangfei was pregnant but mis…miscarried her child."

Yi Huiqing's eyes had a lost and forlorn look as if she was remembering that phase of her life. And it was the same time when Zhao Zhang Wei had moved back his eyes to look at her …only to witness this look in the eyes of the woman he loved.

"Then this wangfei was told that her body couldn't manage the child as her body strength was weak."

Yi Huiqing murmured as her eyes went cold remembering how easily the physician had said these words to her making her think it was she who was responsible for the death of her unborn child.

And her so-called husband was standing there beside the physician when he said these words to her.

Zhao Zhang Wei who was still looking at Yi Huiqing noticed her peculiar behavior when she said these words and he suddenly had a bad premonition in his heart.

Child…miscarriage…

Yi Huiqing started behaving like this only after …

Unbeknownst to his thoughts, Yi Huiqing continued

"This Wangfei accepted the Imperial Physician's words silently…and nursed her body bec..because …"

A single tear rolled down from Yi Huiqing's eyes as she continued leaving all the honorifics 

"…because I felt guilty for not having a healthy body to save my child."

"Qingqing…"

Zhao Zhang whispered with a pale face when he heard his Wangfei words.

He never knew that all that while, Yi Huiqing was thinking this.

He never knew that in his attempts of lessening her pain he was selfishly only giving her more pain.

Yi Huiqing didn't hear his whisper or perhaps she pretended as if she didn't hear it and continued

"Then, two years later, I was again with child."

A slight and genuine smile emerged on Yi Huiqing's lips giving Zhao Zhang Wei the illusion that everything had become alright. 

"I was very happy. I …I thought that my dead child came back to me. I ate everything that was advised by the physician even if …even if I disliked it. I just wanted to keep this child safe and birth him. But …my attempts went in vain. The child died again…"

She looked into Zhao Zhang Wei's eyes and smiled softly as she said

"And again…I was told that I didn't have a body that could manage a child."