His Rui

Chapter 61 – Love Is Selfless

Xi Ying didn't go to the Imperial Palace immediately. He waved his hand to dismiss the maid and looked at his Wangfei who was about to ask him something.

But Li Rui didn't say anything after hearing the maid's words.

She knew why the Emperor summoned him to the Imperial Palace. Her heart instantly went cold and calm.

Pain flashed in Xi Ying's eyes when he saw her indifference but he hid it and smiled gently. Of course, he knew what she was thinking.

But he does not want to say anything. He will prove with his actions that he has changed. That she does not need to be wary of him now.

"Wait for me here. I have a surprise for you."

She heard his words but didn't turn to look at him.

In her heart, she knew that when the Emperor would ask him to suppress those soldiers and end this chaos, he will do that. He was clever and intelligent enough to do that.

If they can frame her father then they are able to show fake evidence also. 

Her mind was already planning the postponed elopement. She does not want anything as long she could guarantee the safety of her family.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn't notice when Xi Ying came back and sat beside her.

"Mother…"

A soft and small voice entered Li Rui's ears. Her brain stopped working for a moment. She slowly turned her head and saw a thin and small figure in Xi Ying's arms.

"Mother…"

The small figure shouted again but this time his voice carried nervousness and fear.

Her shocked face and unmoving body pricked Xi Ying's heart like thorns. He really didn't understand how he did all the wrong things to Li Rui in the past four years. He had loved her so much when he first saw her. Then how did he give birth to so much hatred towards the woman he loved so suddenly?

Suppressing the pain and guilt inside his heart, Xi Ying put Xi Ling in Li Rui's lap who seemed to come out of her trance.

She immediately held the small body with her arms fearing that he will fall to the ground.

It was her Xiao Ling.

Li Rui could count on her fingers the time she had seen her child till now. Whenever she went to see him, it was nighttime and he was always sleeping.

Sitting in her mother's lap, Xi Ling smelled the sweet scent of her mother.

He remembered that when he was two years old, he once had heard the maids talking between themselves that his mother doesn't love him, she didn't see even see his face since his birth, and many other things.

The words were engraved in his mind but he had not understood their meaning till he came to know the meaning of a mother.

Once when he was playing with the son of a maid, he and that boy fell down. Both of them scratched their knees but he didn't cry like the other boy.

However, Xi Ling saw that the maid was consoling the young boy very gently. She kissed his cheek and gently coaxed him. Even if she scolded him while putting medicine on his scratched knees, he could see that she was really worried for the boy.

A part of his heart really wanted to experience all this.

The Nanny who took care of him also put medicine on his scratches and told him to be careful but he was not coaxed and scolded like that boy.

Why? Xi Ling thought.

Perhaps because he didn't cry.

So the next day Xi Ling dirtied his clothes and pinched himself many times to wet his eyes and entered his room.

But the result was different from his expectations. The maids and Nanny changed his clothes hurriedly and called the physician to check his body for any injury and that was all.

Why didn't anyone take him in their arms and coaxed him like that maid, he had thought the whole night sulkily.

He soon got his answer. Because that maid was the mother of that boy. 

Mother loves their children.

But Xi Ling only understood only one thing from the words he had heard when he was two years old.

His mother disliked him.

He never saw his mother but he was very upset.

He was a very good and intelligent child. Why did her mother not like him?

Today when suddenly his father told him that he was going to take him to his mother, he was very happy.

Xi Ling made a promise to himself that he will make her mother like him.

He was awestruck when he saw his mother. His mother was very beautiful. He used his sweetest voice to call her but his confidence ran out of the window when he didn't hear any response.

Does his mother really dislike him so much?

Tears surface through his eyes but he stubbornly didn't let them come out.

No, he can't cry. His mother will dislike him more if he cried.

Xi Ying who saw this unconsciously smiled because his son's this action was similar to his Wangfei. 

While Xi Ling controlled his tears and tried again. This time Xi Ling respectfully greeted his mother first.

"Xiao Ling greets Mother."

Li Rui was still trying to calm her emotions but when she saw Xi Ling's aggrieved face and heard him calling her mother again, her eyes teared up and her heart went soft. Her hands holding her son's small body trembled a little.

She patted his head gently and stroked his hair.

"Xiao Ling is such a good boy."

A wide smile emerged on Xi Ling's lips when he heard this.

Xiao Ling. He knows the meaning of this name.

Little Ling. No one calls him by this name.

Xi Ling's ears went red. He felt shy so he buried his head in her mother's chest in embarrassment.

When Li Rui saw this, she laughed softly and hugged him tightly.

Hearing the laugh, Xi Ying was entranced. In the past three months, he never saw her smiling let alone laugh.

His heart felt a strange happiness when he saw the soft smile on her lips. This happiness was beyond the satisfaction he felt when she was beside him even if unwillingly. Because at this moment, she was happy. He could see the contentment in her eyes.

Xi Ying understood one thing.

Li Rui's happiness lied in her son and her family.

He had created so much chaos in the whole Empire just to stop her from leaving him.

Until a few minutes ago, he wanted her to stay by his side selfishly but her one smile changed his heart.

He doesn't want to force her. Love was not selfish. It was selfless. So selfless that even if it gave him pain, he could do anything to keep that smile on her lips.

Even if …

Even if it meant to let her go.

————–

Since Xi Ling's body was still weak and he was a young child, he soon fell asleep in her mother's lap smelling the sweet scent of her mother. 

Li Rui was patting her son's back gently when she heard

"I need to go to Imperial Palace."

Only then she remembered that there was another person inside the room. She turned to look at the man sitting beside him and nodded her head gently.

Xi Ying didn't remove his eyes from her face. Li Rui saw the same emotions she had seen in his eyes when she had gone to see him in the study room.

She glanced away as she still couldn't decide whether they were fake or real.

Seeing this, Xi Ying's eyes dimmed. He leaned forward suddenly and held her in his arms.

The sudden embrace surprised Li Rui and since Xi Ling was in her arms she could not struggle at all. 

Xi Ying closed her eyes and buried his nose in her fragrant hair. A tear slid through his eye. He held her in his arms for a long time and then kissed her and Xi Ling's forehead.

Taking a last long look at the mother and son, he stood up and turned around.

Each step to the doors of the living room felt heavy.

A strong urge to turn around and take Xi Ling away from her aroused in his heart. She would never be able to leave him if he used Xi Ling.

But when he turned around and saw the soft smile on Li Rui's lips as she looked at Xi Ling's face, his own lips curled up in a smile.

He hardened his heart and turned around.

Walking out of the Plum Courtyard, he called An Zhou and told him to not guard Plum Courtyard.

When he sat on his horse to go to Imperial Palace, Xi Ying closed his eyes and remembered her smile.

He would give her this one chance. She can leave with Xi Ling without any hesitation. He will protect her and her clan.

If she left him then after solving all the problems, he will find her and will try to win her heart.

But if she didn't then…