Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru

Chapter 253: Nobody II & III

<Nobody II>

I could see them sinking into my flesh, and I could see myself dying.

For that one moment, my consciousness blanked out.

The next thing I saw was a blade flashing through the air.

I had swung the sword. Even though today should be the first time I had ever held a sword, I had swung it at the rabid dog’s mouth.

Oh crap.

Was my unfounded concern that was bitten to pieces like candy along with the blade.

Even though it’s a common longsword, it’s undoubtedly forged steel. To crush it so easily, is this dog some kind of fantastic beast?

「Urgh」

I felt a sharp pain in the left side of my body. The action that I had taken without conscious thought had thrown me off balance.

I was lucky.

If I hadn’t fallen down, I would have gotten my face bitten off.

But the situation had not changed for the better. The dog lunged at me, and I had to use my legs to block the dog’s head and body to keep its fangs away from me.

No, I can’t keep them away at all. What strength!

「Barfuru-sama! Sit-nya!」

The beastkin girl threw her arms around the dog to stop it. The fangs snapped shut a paper’s width from my throat.

「This person is different-nya! Stop-nya!」

「………tch」

Reluctantly, the dog clicked its tongue and backed off.

I had sensed a killing intent different from what one might have for an attempted rapist, but what the heck is up with this dog?

「T, thank you very much-nya. That was close」

「No, I didn’t do anything. But, well, good grief」

Looking at the knights lying on the floor, I confirmed that they were all dead. Despite being a dog, this guy had taken them all out in a flash. He’s a real monster.

「Wha, what the hell is this?!」

The person who had raised his voice was a half-naked man who had come down the stairs. He had a somewhat expensive sword in his hand, so he was probably the commander of the knight order.

「Are you the one who did this?!」

The tip of the sword was pointed at me.

I almost answered, “That’s absurd,” but with the situation the way it is……

「………………」

Behind the knight commander was Arianne, a sheet wrapped around her naked body.

She looked at the corpses on the floor, at Tyutyu, at my face, then……

「Haaa………………」

……she let out a sigh with an extremely dismayed look on her face.

Knowing how I am in general, she should understand, but it’s not like I don’t get how she must be feeling.

Arianne snatched the sword from the knight commander.

Without giving him time to react, she immediately slit his throat. Coolly and calmly, she plunged the sword into the heart of the man who was choking on his own blood to finish him off.

「Eek」

The beastkin girl let out a short scream.

「Geez, what on earth happened here? And wait, aren’t you Tyutyu?」

「D, dear customer」

The two appeared to know each other.

「And what did you do, I wonder?」

「I didn’t do anything」

Arianne had a stern look on her face. Her gaze fell onto the broken longsword in my hand. I tossed it away and gave her a blank look back.

「If you didn’t do anything, isn’t this catastrophic mess strange?」

「Even if I didn’t do anything, it’ll still be a catastrophic mess. The culprit is that dumb dog over there」

The shitty dog growled at me.

「Ah, so the rumors about it being a monster[1] are true」

「What about you? What are you going to do now that you’ve killed your source of information?」

It’s someone she had risked a lot to make contact with, and she killed him that easily……

「It can’t be helped. You, me, and Tyutyu weren’t even here. Let’s all agree that these guys were all done in by someone connected to the Myriad Kings………and wipe our hands clean of this. For better or worse, it’s already a loss for us to get mixed up in this」

「Understood」

As expected of a capable woman, she changes gears very quickly.

「Oh, uh, umm, what should Nya do?」

The scared-stiff girl asked Arianne.

「Forget all about today. They’re the ones at fault anyway, right?」

「Yes, you’re right」

She agreed.

The assholes trying to rape her only got what they deserved. There’s no reason to spare any concern for the victims.

「Ash, go collect the valuables. I’ll cover up how they died」

「Understood」

Knowing that it was best to leave such things to Arianne, I got to work.

It seems that it’s tradition for the Myriad Kings to take the valuables of those they’ve defeated. Oddly enough, adventurers do the same. Good grief, what a shameful tradition.

Ten copper coins. Eight silver coins. One gold coin. That’s about all the coins they have. As for the rest of the valuables, there’s a woman’s comb and a cheap ring, both of which must have been stolen, and a five gold voucher issued by the merchant companies of Lemuria, which is now no better than scrap paper.

Engraved on their armor are symbols indicating that the armor is the property of merchant companies from the center continent. They can be traced, so I won’t touch them. The swords appear to be their own, and while they’re not bad, they’re not good either.

One sword is worth about four copper coins, I think. They’re bulky and I don’t need them, but for some reason, I slid one of them back into its sheath and strapped it to my belt.

Wow, I feel as if I’ve become stronger.

Well, it’s totally my imagination.

The total wealth of the six knights is just this.

These guys really don’t have any money. They’re just a bunch of hoodlums with nothing but a title.

「What am I to do with this?」

Arianne seems troubled.

That’s because it’s abundantly clear to anyone that they had all been killed by a beast. To make their deaths the work of someone connected to the Myriad Kings, she would have to bring them back to life and kill them again. I’ve never seen such magic though.

「It’s going to be exhausting, but it can’t be helped, I guess」

Arianne cast healing magic on the corpses. Casting that on a dead person was a meaningless act, but for someone who had only died a short time before, it was possible to heal the body while the cells were still alive.

Then, she mutilated the corpses to make it look like it was the work of one of the Myriad Kings’ men.

「That’ll do, I suppose」

「………Faahhh」

The beastkin girl had turned pale and fainted. This was certainly not a pleasant sight to behold.

Arianne carried the body of the knight commander upstairs, and when she returned, she was back in her usual armored attire.

「No belongings left behind. No trace of us or evidence of what we’ve done………………probably. Ash, carry me please. I’m out of magic power so I’m going to sleep」

「Eh, okay」

With a broad smile, Arianne lost consciousness.

It looks like she had fainted from running out of magic power. She had just returned from an adventure, so she must not have much left. I’ve heard that this isn’t a good thing, but I wonder if she’ll be okay.

Hoisting Arianne onto my back, I resented the sensation of hard armor on my back.

「Okay, what now?」

I was at a loss.

Taking into account the worst-case scenario, I have the feeling that it would be a bad idea to go back to our inn. I don’t know where else to go though. The only place I know of is that bar.

「Barfu」

As I stood there stumped, the dumb dog kicked me with his hind leg.

“Follow me,” the dog seemed to say before exiting through the back door. He had the fainted girl draped across his back.

This guy sure is dexterous.

Trusting his wild instincts to alert us to anything in our surroundings, I followed him.

With such ease that it was almost a letdown, we were able to leave the knights’ garrison without running into anyone.

After five minutes of wandering through the back alleys, we arrived at a small store. The name of the store was “A Respite From Adventuring”.

The store itself was a nice little place, but its location was terrible. On both sides of the store stood crumbling ruined buildings.

「………Hmm?」

These ruined buildings, they must have been destroyed recently. There’s a newness to the broken parts of the building. I don’t know what happened, but I’m surprised the store escaped unscathed.

Anyway, the store seemed to be getting ready for dinner service. I could see a small figure working on something in the back, but the entrance was locked.

Following the dog, I went around to the back door of the store.

There was a bell attached near the bottom of the metal door that was the store’s back door. It was probably in consideration of suppliers who would have their hands full. When the dog rang the bell, the door was opened by a child.

I’d guess they’re about 7 or 8 years old? Their black hair is tied back into a ponytail, and they have cat ears, golden eyes, and an androgynous face, but the poor thing’s eyes have a menacing set to them. They’re wearing a serving outfit similar in design to that of the beastkin girl called Tyutyu.

The child who was probably Tyutyu’s younger sister or brother exclaimed in surprise when they saw her.

「Kaa-chan(Mum)! What happened?!」

Oh, so it’s her child.

<Nobody III>

「Well, that’s about right」

It wasn’t the kind of topic I could talk about with a child, but we wouldn’t get anywhere without an explanation, so I tried to summarize it mildly.

「Fine. Until our customer wakes up, I’ll let her hide out here」

This child has a sassy attitude, but they’re quick on the uptake.

Also, the shitty dog is snuggling and cozying up to the child while giving me a smug look. It’s quite irritating. I feel very annoyed by that. Why?

Now……

「Ari and I can share the same room. As for food―――――」

「Huhh?」

What the heck is this guy saying? said the face of the child.

「You didn’t do a single thing, isn’t it? You’re also not our customer. Why do I have to look after you?」

「That’s true」

I didn’t do anything. All I did was get attacked by the dog.

「Oh, then please look after Ari. I’ll just kill time elsewhere and drop by the store from time to time」

It’s just my intuition, but this child is someone I can trust.

Right when I was about to leave Arianne behind and exit the store……

「Hang on a minute. I didn’t tell you to get out, did I?」

「Hmm?」

……I was prevented from leaving.

「It’s just as well, so I want to let Kaa-chan rest up for a while. She’s been pushing herself recently and her health has suffered. You, fill in for her」

「………………Huh?」

That’s a problem. No, it’s not that I don’t want to work. I mean it in the sense that I’m useless.

「Boy, you know, I’m……」

「It’s not “Boy”. My name is Shigure」

「Shigure, you know, I’m……」

「I still have work to do in the store, so you go clean the storage room and shovel away the snow at the back door. Depending on how hard you work, I’ll give you food and a place to sleep」

「Well, if it’s just cleaning……」

It’s not impossible to do it with only one arm.

「Then get to work! A grown man shouldn’t be dawdling!」

And so, I took the cleaning supplies that were thrust at me and was led to the store’s storage room by the dog.

That child is the type I’m bad with, I thought to myself.

Opening the sturdy metal door, I found myself in a food storage that looked about three times the size of the store’s seating area. It had been made to be sturdy, a portion of its stone walls reinforced with steel. It looked like a (bomb)shelter.

In that cold room, meat was hung from the ceiling and vegetables were packed tightly into wooden crates. On the rows of shelves were jars of fruit, vegetables, fish pickled in oil, cheese, dried food, alcohol, rice, seaweed, and condiments. This place excited me a little.

The shitty dog grabbed with his mouth a piece of dried meat from the shelf and plopped down on a cushion on the floor. He tore the wrapping paper off and began to gnaw on it.

I was hungry too, so I reached for a dried sweet potato, but……

「Grrrrrrrrr」

……the dog threatened me with a look that said, “I’ll kill you.”

This doesn’t sit well with me.

I mean, why am I lower than a dog in the pecking order of the store?

From the bottom of my heart, I find this hard to accept, but there’s no point in lamenting. I should clean the place up for now.

Leaning the broom on my shoulder and moving it with my right hand, I swept up the trash on the floor.

Most of the trash is from this dumb dog though. Wouldn’t throwing him out be the best way to clean this place up?

「Grrrr」

I was threatened again.

What a perceptive jackass of a dog.

After sweeping the floor, the shelves were next. I dipped a rag in a bucket of cold water, wrung it as best as I could with one hand, then wiped and wiped. From one end of the storage room to the other, from corner to corner.

Although I had the strangest feeling about it, I was able to clean the whole place quickly and efficiently, as if I was used to doing it.

Could it be that I………have a talent for cleaning or something?

After about an hour, I had finished cleaning up the food storage.

Next was the back door.

A quick peek into the store showed that Shigure was running the store by themselves.

There were five customers, all adventurers, all women.

Despite their small frame, they were working briskly and well.

They’re quick, but as a result, they have many unnecessary movements. It may not be a problem when one is young and physically fit, but if they want to continue in this line for a long time, they should learn to do things in ways that strain the body less……………… What am I saying? What does an amateur like me know?

I crossed the kitchen, which smelled good.

Pots of various soups and stews were lined up in a row. Bread and vegetables were arranged on shelves, ready to be served. All the pre-made side dishes looked delicious.

I’m starting to get really hungry. It’d be nice to have some meat once in a while. I’m getting tired of subsisting on beans.

「Wait, what’s this?」

I went back into the kitchen because something had caught my eye.

It was a huge portrait.

It depicted a “big-breasted woman” with extremely curly hair.

On the expensive-looking frame was written “God Lutz, the Great Mother of Food”.

There sure are some strange gods out there.

I won’t say where, but I have this feeling that one part had been exaggerated. I won’t say where though.

Feeling the stares of the customers, I escaped out the back door.

I had a hard time shoveling the snow. It was hard to use a shovel with one hand. My body refused to move like I wanted it to. I ended up doing a terrible job, which made me furious at myself.

Just as I was finishing up, Shigure came along.

It was pretty strenuous work. It’s been a while since I’ve worked up such a good sweat. Well, maybe I’ll get some food and maybe even alcohol as a reward.

「Next is the store next door」

「………………」

You’re kidding, you still want me to work some more?

Going against them felt like too much trouble, so I went next door with the intention of slacking off.

That said, I wasn’t sure which side he was referring to, the ruined building on the left or the one on the right. I exited the store from the front and, at random, went to the one on the left.

The ruined building was in ruins.

Under the fallen snow, there were broken building materials and shattered windowpanes, and at my feet, destroyed furniture and broken shelves littered the floor.

One thing sticks out to me as strange.

I don’t know what kind of store it used to be, but I don’t see anything that looks like merchandise. Was it all stolen by thieves? The circumstances bother me a little.

Either way, it’s impossible to clean this place up with just a broom and a rag.

I guess I’ll just slack off like I planned.

Grabbing a half-broken chair, I braced it against a section of the wall to keep it upright. Then I sat down to rest.

It’s very calming.

I think it might not be so bad if my life stays as it is now.

「What are you doing in my store?」

「Hmm?」

I heard a voice.

Before I knew it, there was an elf there.

He was tall and slender, with long blonde hair and blue eyes. He had on loose-fitting clothes and there was an ornate sword at his hip.

He was as beautiful-looking as elves came.

Though his eyes were harsh, if he used them to make eyes at women, most of them would fall for him. However, the arrogance that came with being well-aware of that showed through very clearly on his face.

The only thing we have in common is that we’re of the same sex, but precisely because of that, I find him extremely distasteful. If I were to conduct a survey, I’m pretty sure that the results would say that the majority of men in the world dislike elven men.

「Answer me. What are you doing in my store?」

「Store? This ruined building?」

Remaining seated when faced with a delusional person didn’t seem like a good idea, so I got up……

「Woah」

……but I tripped on a piece of rubble and lost my balance briefly. My hat snagged on a pointed piece of building material and fell off.

「Crap」

I have something that I must hide.

A white horn.

I’ve heard that there are monsters with horns like mine in the dungeon. I was almost captured by the Adventurers’ Guild once before because I was mistaken for one of them. There’s apparently a bounty on them, so I’m always fearful when going out into the city.

「You, that white hair and golden eyes……」

It seems that it’s not my horn but my hair and eyes that the elf has a problem with.

「You’re Elysium’s representative hero!」

What’s more, he has a problem with them to the extent of slashing at me.

[1] This “monster” is in “English” and is the term usually used to mean the monsters in the dungeon. The author has always used the English “monster(モンスター)” when referring to the monsters in the dungeon and the Japanese “monster(化け物)” when referring to people like the prince, but I never made a note of it previously as it never mattered, but well, this time, it’s easy to misunderstand what Arianne meant if I didn’t explain so I did.

I don’t need to remind you that “Shigure” is the name Souya set for his firstborn child, now do I? As you can see, I gave up instantly and am calling Shigure “they/them” right away. Why? You’ll find out eventually, but let’s say for now that doing that will spare everyone from reading a ton of weird sentences structured to avoid using pronouns.

By the way, Souya had already suspected Tyutyu had quit the brothel and started dressing more conservatively to hide her figure because she was pregnant some time before the final battle. Happy hunting! I’m sure you’ll see it once you know what you’re looking for(most of it is in a certain talk with the Demon King, but he had made note of it several times before that).

“I won’t say where though.” I died. You made it abundantly clear, Ash, you certainly did. Sigh…Rutsuko-san~~

I really love that the hate between Souya and Barfuru is still there instinctively though. And it’s funny as heck.

More and more people we know are appearing… I don’t blame Melm for mistaking Ash for Dilbert tho, since the most distinctive part of Dilbert’s features is his white hair and golden eyes. And the horn is still on Souya *ahem Ash’s head, huh? Well, he’s not in Urovalus, so I guess it’s fine for now…

Well, how will one-armed Ash fare against Melm? Stay tuned!