Ihoujin, Dungeon ni Moguru

Chapter 47: Abandoned Dog’s Pasta VII



Chapter 47: Abandoned Dog’s Pasta VII

It was the following morning.

When everyone was relaxing after breakfast, there was an assault by Lanseal.

The first thing that came out of her mouth,

「Souya-dono. No, Danna-sama[1]. I’ve come here today with a request」

「What is it?」

Rana had an interrogative expression on her face.

This was when they usually grappled with each other, but she was taking a wait-and-see approach first at Lanseal’s formal tone.

「Huh, or rather, what’s with the “Danna-sama”?」

I felt uneasy about what she had called me.

「This Lanseal is a lowly beastkin, but I’ve kept my body chaste and clean. Since I was little, I’ve only held swords and shields in my hands, and I know nothing about feminine wiles. Or about housework and chores as well. But I’ll learn them from now on. I’ll definitely try to satisfy you, Danna-sama」

I had nothing but a bad feeling.

Rana’s smiling face, which was slowly turning towards me, was scary. I broke out in a cold sweat.

「Danna-sama, please take me as your mistress!」

「Dear」

Rana had grabbed both of my shoulders.

「Ra, Rana. Please listen to what I have to say. Please」

Help me, Roger Clemens. No, what was his name again?

「Fi, first of all, Lanseal. I’ve no reason to take you as a mistress」

「Yes, I know. But I want to become your mistress」

Wow, how aggressive.

「Please don’t trouble my husband by pressuring him like that」

「Yes, madam. I fully understand. If Danna-sama says that he hates me, then I’ll disappear and never return to Lemuria」

Hey, wait.

If you disappear right now, King Lemuria’s worries will increase at Mach speed. The country, the country will…… Or rather, he may collapse from the burden of his worries just by seeing this current situation.

「Alright, Lanseal. Let’s calm down for now. Rana, take your hand off the staff」

「………………Okay」

Dear wife, what were you planning to do with that? It’ll become a diplomatic problem between the elves and the Hemus, you know?

「Lanseal, does King Lemuria know about this?」

「Yes, of course」

He knows?!

「It’s because of what happened this morning. His Majesty canceled his royal order」

That canceled royal order that she’s talking about, is that the one to have relations with me?

Spurring him on at the risk of my life seems to have produced results. But looking at this situation, it’s gotten worse though.

「So, thinking that it was a good opportunity, I tried venting my feelings to him」

『I see?』

Rana and I tilted our heads together.

For some reason, we were synchronized.

「Danna-sama, I’m a woman, and although I’m an illegitimate child, I’m the daughter of King Lemuria. In future, for various reasons such as diplomatic purposes or as a reward to his subordinates, I’ll likely be “sold” as a woman. That is the fate of a king’s daughter. But when His Majesty ordered me this time, I wavered and ended up falling behind. I was ashamed of myself, but at the same time, I resolved myself.

To act without hesitation the next time something similar happens.

It’s fine if it’s only during this <respite>, I want to at least stay close to the person I like. No matter what form it is, I don’t mind even being a servant, and however lowly I’m treated, I won’t complain. Please, could you keep me beside you?」

In the end, King Lemuria’s words seem to have lit a fire under Lanseal.

I don’t know if I should attribute this to her love of adversity or her tendency to run out of control. It feels kind of masochistic. No, what should I do with her?

「Dear」

Rana gave me a helping hand,

「I’ll leave it to you」

Not!

「Although I’ve been disowned, I’m also a king’s daughter. I cannot treat a woman who has the same resolve bluntly. I’ll follow everything you decide, dear」

She smiled charmingly.

It was a lovely smiling face.

My head went completely blank.

「La, La, Lanseal. I want to ask you, err, you said the same to King Lemuria, right?」

My lips trembled a little.

「Yes, His Majesty said,『What the heck is this?!』」

「Of course he did」

I also feel the same way.

After all, as soon as he canceled the order for her to have relations with a person, he was told that she wanted to be the mistress of that very person. It’s incomprehensible. Women, they’re mysterious creatures.

「However, after thinking it over for a long time in his room, he said,『I’ll leave it to you to decide. Do as you please』」

He gave up.

The king, he gave up on dealing with his out-of-control daughter!

「In addition, Danna-sama, along with becoming your mistress, there are a few things that I’d like to make clear」

Lanseal clasped her hands together in front of her large chest.

「First of all, I won’t join your party as an adventurer, Danna-sama. That’s madam’s role, and I’ll never do anything to threaten her position.

I know my place.

My role is to protect this home. In other words, I’ll be a watchdog. Also, what I’ll learn to do from now on is the laundry, cleaning, cooking, and also lo, love-making. I, I’ll do my best to master them all. Please treat me like a maid」

My heart was wavering at Lanseal’s suggestive expression. In various ways, I was wavering.

With bad timing,

A fluffy gray cat emerged from the tent.

「I see. You’re becoming my follower’s maid. In other words, that also means that you’ll become my maid. Is that fine with you?」

「Yes, Misuranika-sama!」

Lanseal threw herself to the ground before that cat.

「Recently, that Makina has also been leaving the camp and hasn’t been paying attention to me. Lanseal, illegitimate child of Lemuria, resolve yourself. You’ll have to pay a lot of attention to me! Half-hearted ways of paying attention won’t do, alright?」

「Yes, I’ve resolved myself」

「That being the case, I approve」

God gave her approval.

Immediately, she was lifted up into Lanseal’s arms and petted.

「In addition, Danna-sama」

「Yes」

Rana’s blank expression, in contrast to Lanseal’s glowing expression, pained me.

「As my most important role, I’ll soothe your fatigue and pamper you. I’ve visited the camp several times and have seen your relationships with your party, wife, and sister, but you’re wasting away from the great effort you put into taking care of them. If someone doesn’t heal that, you’ll wreck your health」

「What?!」

Rana raised her voice.

「That’s, certainly, something like that………………certainly rings a bell」

Everything that had happened after I came to this world flashed across my mind.

Sure enough, I was constantly taking care of others. But that’s just the way it is for leaders. And it can be said that I’m healed just by being together with Rana and Ea.

But, well,

There are also such things as pamper play and so on, huh?

「Danna-sama, it’s fine to let yourself be pampered, you know?」

Several of my reason’s supports broke with a snap.

Rana, who had puffed up her cheeks, pinched me in the side.

「Dear」

「Sorry」

This is bad! I’m making the same mistake as that time with Tyutyu.

「Just for a while, let me think it over for a while」

I broke free from Rana’s hand, and moved to the shadow of the tent where the two of them couldn’t see me.

「Makina, Yukikaze. It’s a meeting」

Gyuuunn, went Makina as she slid over. Gorogoro, went Yukikaze as she rolled up to me.

「Hey, what should I do? I don’t know! I don’t know, hey!」

I held my head in my hands and rolled around as well.

『Souya-san, this is the most you’ve struggled with a decision since coming to the alternate world, isn’t it?』

『Is that so?』

「It’s no good. My brain isn’t working at all. What should I do? Makina, Yukikaze, guide me」

『Haa, this side of Souya-san is really shameful, you know?』

「Even if you tell me that, Makina, you see, Lanseal, she’s a female knight, isn’t she? She’s in my strike-zone」

I mumbled while lying flat on the plain.

In games with wizardry-type characters, the knights were always female.

Rolling over until she was near my face, Yukikaze said.

『In the data saved by the previous A.I., there is data on the changes in heart rate when team member Souya interacts with those of the opposite sex. According to those heart rate figures, it’s 145 when interacting with women of the alternate world in general. Lanseal-sama has the highest number at 195. By the way, Rana-sama is 4th with 155』

Izora. So she collected data like that.

What an interesting annoyance.

「Those figures. Don’t disclose them to others」

『Understood. Yukikaze will increase the privacy setting』

『Hmm~, Souya-san, if Makina were to speak personally, Lanseal-sama protecting the camp will be a great help. She’ll come in handy even for things like delivering simple messages to the merchant companies or running errands.

Makina had gone to the city several times in disguise, but recently, Makina was discovered by the children of the city, and they frequently throw stones at Makina to chase Makina away. Children, they’re super scary』

「Hey you, don’t go by yourself. That’s dangerous, isn’t it?」

『Yes, it’s dangerous. Makina was mistaken for a monster for some reason and it seems that a subjugation request for Makina has been posted』

「What the heck are you doing……」

I’ll have to go submit an application for the request to be canceled later.

『If it’s together with Lanseal-sama, Makina will be safe even if Makina goes to the city, so for that reason, one vote for approve』

「Don’t go to the city in the first place」

『Eeeehh~』

She’s no help at all. Or rather, my troubles increased again.

「How about you, Yukikaze?」

『Yukikaze doesn’t care either way. Rather, at least avoid things that make you unable to explore the dungeon like dumb romantic relationships or complications of jealousy with the local women. Team member Souya, think long~ and hard~ about what you came to this world to do, and act accordingly』

「O~kay」

It felt like I was being preached at by Izora.

It made me a little happy.

「In summary, one vote for leave it to me, one vote for approve, one vote for don’t care………………It’s not any help」

『Souya-san, please decide it firmly like a man. The answer is decided from the beginning, isn’t it?』

「It’s okay? Is this really okay?」

『It’s fine. Like the popular song of the 21st century, just be true to yourself and let’s go』

「I don’t know about that, but to tell the truth, I also like maids. Or rather, I like maid outfits. I don’t know if I should call them plain, but I like the normal types at that」

『Haa』

I got extremely uninterested replies from the A.I.s.

Even if it had originated abroad, thoroughly beautifying and incorporating this phenomenon called maids as a form of culture was the work of the Japanese. Be more interested in it, both of you.

「She’s a female knight, has a good figure, is a silver-haired beastkin, and she wears maid outfits. She’s begging me to take her as a mistress. This is no longer a situation where I can work things out using my reason」

『Then, it should be fine if you take her as a mistress』

Came Makina’s reasonable opinion.

「Still, there’s Rana though. You know?」

However, my foremost thought is that I don’t want to make Rana sad. Although it’s pretend, she’s my wife. Even though it’s a sham, so long as I’m make-believing to be her husband, I want to perform my role well.

I honestly want help with the housework. All the more so if it’s a trustworthy person like Lanseal.

Even if I’m betrayed by the king, she’ll take my side. Or perhaps I should say that she can also be used as a breakwater against betrayal.

Personally, I want her.

She’s beautiful, a female knight, and a maid. Also, there’s the stuff like being pampered and spoiled.

Oh, my brain has become useless.

「Hmm~, in other words, it depends on Onee-chan, right?」

「Eh?」

My sister was glaring at me, who was rolling around on the plain while hugging Yukikaze in my arms, with disgust in her eyes.

「Ea, this is, err――」

「Come」

My poncho was grabbed and I was pulled before Lanseal and Rana in that manner.

「Alright, pay attention」

The two of them paid attention to my sister, who had set her feet and struck an imposing pose.

「First of all, Onee-chan, make it clear. Is Lanseal becoming the mistress good or bad? It’s because Onee-chan doesn’t make such things clear that Onii-chan is troubled」

「Huh, whether it’s good or bad, that’s not for me to decide」

「It’s for Onee-chan to decide!」

Scolded roundly by her younger sister, Rana was surprised.

「You see! Onii-chan! Thinks about Onee-chan’s feelings first and foremost! Don’t you know that?! So tell him first whether it’s good or bad! This is non-negotiable, got it?!」

「Y………………yes. Umm, dear, to tell you the truth, I don’t hate Lanseal. She’s the only person who clashes physically with me this much, and something like friendship is beginning to grow, but………………umm」

Rana’s face turned bright red.

「Lo, love-making! First! On the condition that you do it with me first! HyaWaaAAAAAAAAAAA!」

She disappeared over the plain in a mad dash. Misuranika ran after her like a dog.

「Oh, okay」

I replied to Rana’s back, which had disappeared from sight.

「And Lanseal」

「Mu, what? Is there something you want from me?」

「Shameless. Those are not the actions of a daughter of royalty」

「Urgh」

My sister is strong. Super strong.

She had taken down Lanseal with a single blow.

From way back, the way my sister took control in times like this was amazing. Hmm? From way back?

「And Onii-chan」

「Yes」

「You’re a man, aren’t you? Decide clearly! Now! Here! Immediately!」

「Yesh」

I was overwhelmed by her intensity.

Rana attached a condition, but had said that it was okay. Currently, there were no objections, but……

「Ea, umm, what do you think about Lanseal becoming my mistress?」

……I asked fearfully.

She looks angry, but I think that the consensus of everyone is important. Spare me from things like strife within the camp.

「A beastkin mistress is something that every household has. It isn’t a particularly uncommon thing at all! What of it?!」

She had snapped at me really angrily. Veins had popped out on her temple. What was with that story about elves not getting jealous, I wonder?

I had decided on my answer.

I’m really a no-good guy.

「Lanseal」

I put my hand on her shoulder.

「Being liked by a wonderful woman like you makes me happy. But I cannot take you as my mistress」

「I, see」

She bravely put a smile on her face. It was a self-deprecating smile.

「But, umm, how about starting as friends?」

「In other words, I’ve yet to reach the level needed to be your mistress. Depending on my future efforts, you’ll take me as a mistress. That’s what you mean, right?!」

When friends rank up, do they become mistresses?

「Right?!」

Cold sweat streaked down Lanseal’s face.

She was really appealing to my emotions.

「Oh, yup」

In spite of myself, I ended up replying like that.

「Thank you very much! Souya! I’ll do my best to not be abandoned!」

She embraced me tightly with my face pressed against her chest.

She had a physique that was hardened from training, but that one part had a softness that enveloped everything. She had a nice smell that was different from an elf’s refreshing feel. The gentle whispers of sleep were tempting me. I felt as if I couldn’t care less about anything and everything. That was dangerous. These were boobs that ruined people.

When I lost myself for about five minutes, I was glared at by my sister and the A.I.s with disgust in their eyes.

「In the end, it looks like she’ll definitely become his mistress, doesn’t it?」

I couldn’t find a word of excuse in response to Ea’s observation.

The tumultuous morning passed.

When I, who was unusually alone, fell flat after going through a day’s worth of exertion, Lonewell appeared at the camp.

By the way, the sisters were at Gladvain’s dormitory, Lanseal had gone to pick up her things to move in, and Makina and Yukikaze were taking a walk through the plain.

「What’s the matter?」

It was the first time he came here.

I was going to ask why he was here, but there were too many matters of various natures.

「I went to send Libera-sama off」

「Is that so? Did he say something?」

「Yes, he said that he doesn’t want to see Souya-san ever again, so he asked you to send him word when you leave this land. The emergency method of contacting him is written in here」

I accepted the proffered scroll and threw it into the tent.

「Did Karlgoff say anything?」

「No, nothing in particular about this」

「Is that so?」

「There’s a message from my mother, which goes,『Use my son well』」

「No, it’s the son who is doing the using. I’m the one being used by you guys, right?!」

I’m a consultant.

This role is plenty. I’ve no interest in wealth or power. This is a respite from adventuring.

「Souya-san, if you put your mind to it, I believe that two, no, four merchant companies will follow you. There are also many chefs who remember your face after seeing your storefront marketing. Just by getting their support, a merchant company can make a fortune. How about it? Why not take this opportunity to retire from adventuring and try leading a merchant company?」

「Woah, hang on a minute there……」

That’s putting the cart before the horse in all sorts of ways.

The work in the merchant companies is a respite from adventuring. If I make it my main profession, it would defeat my purpose for coming, staying and living here.

「Well, I was half-joking. But please don’t forget that it was the Zavua merchant company that was the first to propose this」

「Half-understood. But I had thought that you would complain more about the matter of Libera. You were in favor of partnering with him, right?」

「At that time, yes. This is something that I learned last night at the Lemuria Merchant Companies’ Chairmen’s Meeting, but it seems that the merchants from the center continent broke off relations with the merchant companies of Lemuria and formed a separate merchant company association. In this situation, if we had a business partnership with Libera-sama, both the Zavua and Eruomea merchant companies would likely be caught in the middle and end up in dire straits. I had thought for sure that Souya-san had struck Libera-sama down knowing this」

「I struck him down for another reason. Well, the man called Libera had carried too much trouble」

「It would have been trouble as well if he had stayed in Lemuria and teamed up with the merchants from the center continent, so your decision was very right」

「………………Is that so?」

It’s right, huh?

I’ve mixed feelings about that.

「That’s right, on another subject, it’s been decided that the Zavua merchant company will also sell dried pasta. It seems that those guys at Eruomea will sell pasta mixed with seaweed. Our merchant company won’t lose as well, and plans to sell high-quality pasta made using chicken eggs. Because of that, I’m consulting you, Souya-san, but I would like for you to give it a name. You’re good at this kind of thing, right?」

Rather than saying I’m good at it, I simply gave them names from the modern world as is.

Since high-grade chicken eggs are used, chicken egg pasta? No, it’s cheap though. Even though it’s originally wheat that had been bought at a giveaway price, I wonder how much he’s going to profit from this.

The hostility that had been directed at me by Libera’s child flashed across my mind. However, as hostility went, it was immature, and the expression that was like an abandoned dog’s that he had afterwards left an impression on me.

Perhaps that was why……

「Abandoned Dog’s Pasta」

……a name like that was what came to mind.

「Huh? ………………Are you serious about using that?」

「Huh? Well, if that’s okay with you, then use that」

Lonewell had a face that was saying, You’re joking, right? If you don’t like it, you can change it to something else. Don’t ask amateurs to name merchandise.

「Under, stood. It’s Souya-san. There must surely be a profound reason for it」

Thus, Lonewell left.

I gave myself a respite from adventuring today.

To build up my energy for the next adventure while I gazed up at the sky of the alternate world. For the purpose of putting my heart into it from tomorrow onward.

And among the dried pasta sold by the various merchant companies in Lemuria, the “Abandoned Dog’s Pasta” sold by the Zavua merchant company had great taste, shape, texture, and was of amazing quality, but it……

Totally,

Didn’t sell.

<End>

[1] Danna-sama is a term that can be used to call a husband, a master of the house, a manager of some store or shop, a patron, a customer, or a person of high status. Oh, male only.

Help needed! Argh, I hate being stumped by references, but Souya is asking for help from someone with a name that’s similar to Roger Clemens or maybe another baseball player, but I have no idea who.

On the topic of references though, Makina is referencing the Japanese version of Frozen’s Let It Go. No, “let it go” didn’t get translated into “let’s go”, it got translated into something that roughly means “true to yourself”. Rather than saying they were translated, I should say that the lyrics were re-written, and the “let it go, let it go” lines became beautiful stuff like “I’ll show you how I truly am, I’ll become my true self”, “As I truly am, I’ll try to fly”, “I’m fine as I am, I’ve come to like myself“. Frankly, the Japanese lyrics fit the movie to a T and are truly amazing.

Respite(暇), a short period of rest or relief from something difficult or unpleasant. This word will reappear countless times at important moments, so I was quite stressed about choosing the right word for it. Because, as I’m sure many readers are aware by now, Japanese words have multiple meanings. Other than the one given above, it also means spare time, a period of time between activities, taking a break, resigning(from a job or something) or taking one’s leave. Most of those meanings are used or implied at some point in the story……. Considering future usage, I believe that “respite” is the best word for now, but I’ll add notes when the other meanings are implied.

I know there are some who thought that Irvin’s death was also a way to shoehorn Lanseal in and result in the very commonly seen MC + all female party trope, but author loves subverting these kinds of expectations, and for better or worse, Lanseal never joins the party.

Those heart rate figures though……who’s 2nd and 3rd?! Tyutyu and Ea? And Rana is 4th? This point seems trivial and appears to be meant for laughs, but…… Anyways, if you hadn’t realized that Souya has a thing for female knights, refer to volume 1. But considering that he was going to reject Lanseal(but wimped out) because of Ea, I’m surprised Ea isn’t first.

With that, we’ve come to a hilarious end to this arc. One more side-story arc to go before we’re back to the main story. I have to mention one thing though. This arc didn’t make it into the LNs. Doesn’t mean it isn’t important plot-wise, like with Lanseal and Souya’s pasta singularity, lots of very long-lasting effects on the plot. Maybe it’ll get dropped into a later volume, or the plot points were written into the LN exclusive side-story, I don’t know what’s happening on the LN side. However, the next side-story did make it into LN volume 3, and I believe that it’s for the simple reason that it’s actually a lot more important than some main story arcs in term of plot. So don’t miss it!

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