Chapter 352 – Impersonation
Not only did Eunuch Cao confuse the class leader and the entire class, he also left me at a loss.
“Why do you even have to ask?” Eunuch Cao said, “How can two talented martial art youths fight over stolen underwear?”
“It’s completely illogical. The only explanation is that we purposely uploaded the video online, it’s a form of art… no, we did it to bring attention to our film.”
Eunuch Cao blabbered on and on. I wasn’t sure if he was actually even able to fool anyone, but now everyone knew the one in the video was me.
“I thought he looked familiar!” Loud Mouth stared at her phone, “But what movie are you guys promoting?”
Everyone in the class gathered around Eunuch Cao. Loud Mouth, Little Smart, the class leader, Xiong YaoYue, and I were in the inner circle. Everyone else was in the outer circle waiting to hear what Eunuch Cao was about to say.
What’s rare was that even Gong CaiCai came over curiously to see what was going on, but she was short and couldn’t push to the front so she could only worry helplessly from the outside. Sun Yu enthusiastically called her over to stand in front of him, but she refused with a red face.
Eunuch Cao glanced arrogantly at Loud Mouth. I’m not sure if he was still keeping track of the time he got beat up by Loud Mouth over the case files he made.
“What are you looking at? Hurry up and tell me.” Loud Mouth’s thunderous voice reverberated around the class and Eunuch Cao instantly shriveled back.
“It’s just… master Ye and my dad are filming a martial arts short film series. It’s acted with real kung fu, real men, and a really smart dog.”
“A dog who can act?” The class leader was interested.
Loud Mouth didn’t really believe him, “It’s all empty words, you can even say you guys filmed Titanic. Do you have any proof?”
It was as if Eunuch Cao was waiting for those words. He placed his phone in the middle of a desk and beckoned everyone over.
“It’s actually a short film called ‘Bloody Battle of Jin Ling’. It’s been out for almost two months, but there aren’t many citizens left with martial arts spirit in times of peace. That’s why this film hasn’t been noticed much, but that’s the reason why we shot a controversial video to promote our film.”
As expected, Eunuch Cao was planning on passing off the main antagonist of the film as me.
We do look a bit similar, but he is much older than me. Will we be able to deceive them, besides… why do I feel like it’s not really a good idea to show them scenes from this movie…
Eunuch Cao had pressed the play button before I could react. He let everyone enjoy the first episode of ‘Bloody Battle of Jin Ling’ on his 5-inch screen. (they only have one episode currently)
The opening title was very short and had ‘Director: Cao Jing’ written under the bloody title.
“Cao Jing is my dad.” Eunuch Cao said complacently.
Don’t worry, no one’s going to steal him. Everyone knows your his biological son based on your identical appearance and personality.
I’ve briefly summarized before what ‘Bloody Battle of Jin Ling’ was about:
Before the main protagonist’s master went to seclude himself in the mountains, he was at an influential family and taught martial arts to Jin Ling Young Thug.
While Jin Ling Young Thug may have been a terrible person, he had an insane amount of innate talent. Even the master couldn’t reach level nine on ‘Xue Sha Xiu Luo Gong’, but Jin Ling Young Thug was able to master it. And what did he do after mastering it, he started looking for experts to kill for fun.
After he killed all the expert and skilled people in his city, he landed his sights on his master. He found the place where his master secluded himself and killed him too.
Afterward, the story was about the main protagonist suffering through many ordeals before defeating Jin Ling Young Thug to get revenge for his master and obtaining a happy ending with the female protagonist.
It sounds like an extremely normal wuxia movie, but since it was filmed and directed by Director Cao, it was filled with anecdotes and discordant scenes.
The first episode didn’t even really show the main protagonist, it was Jin Ling Young Thug who appeared more often. As he appeared on screen with a nasty evil grin, Eunuch Cao pointed at the screen and said:
“That’s my master. Now, do you believe me?”
Loud Mouth stared until her eyes bulged out.
“Huh, they do look similar, but… he looks too old.”
“What do you know?” Eunuch Cao clicked his tongue, “That’s makeup! You can easily change someone’s age, but… for a fat girl like you, you won’t be able to turn skinnier even if we use makeup…”
Loud Mouth had her hands around his neck before he even completed his sentence. He would have lost his life if the class leader didn’t intrude.
“Ah, the clothing tags are coming out from the outfits of the servants standing behind Jin Ling Young Thug.”
Xiong YaoYue always pays attention to different places than other people.
“Ye Lin isn’t good at acting.” Little Smart said indistinctly, “Jin Ling Young Thug is obviously a bossy and domineering person, so his eyes shouldn’t look depressed.”
Damn, that’s some god-like observation skills! How can you even tell Wu Sheng has depression on such a small screen. Man, you guys don’t even need to come to school anymore. Just open up a detective agency with Loud Mouth and specialize in solving those complex or unsolvable cases.
“Is this really you?” The class leader looked at the screen, then looked back at me with skepticism.
“It is my master!” Eunuch Cao shrieked, “He has depressed eyes because he originally wanted to play the main protagonist!”
“Don’t insert yourself into the conversation.” The class leader glared angrily at Eunuch Cao.
But Eunuch Cao became more excited and repeatedly very pervertedly: “Okay, I won’t insert myself.”
“How could I be the one to insert myself when my master is present? If anyone, he should be the one to insert….”
The class leader had an ice-cold expression and said to Loud Mouth, “You can choke him to death, I won’t stop you this time.”
Wow, her expression is vicious. Why does it feel like anyone who marries the class leader will end up being dominated by her?
Take me for example, even if I’m a Spartan, I still might not be able to defeat the Justice Devil as my wife. If you do anything wrong, you’ll have to kneel on a washing board as punishment.
I don’t want to do anything that embarrassing! I want to be the head of the house. You’re not allowed to become a crime detective, just stay home and be a housewife. All you have to do is cook for me when I return home exhausted and provide me with a lap pillow.
When we reached the point in the movie where Jin Ling Young Thug rips his master in half with his bare hands, the class leader trembled and said:
“I can’t believe they let you put this violent movie online…”
“It’s kind of his own fault.” Xiong YaoYue held the empty popsicle stick in her mouth, “If you already know he has a terrible personality, don’t teach him your real skills. It’s not like cats would teach tigers how to climb a tree.”
At this point in time, Loud Mouth was choking Eunuch Cao to the point where he was on his last breath.
Then, the white dog that accompanies Jin Ling Young Thug that the class leader was waiting for finally appeared.
But it was more accurate to say it was closer to a wolf than a dog. It definitely shares lineage from the Mongolian wolf and will howl at the moon at night.
The class leader made a hard to notice smile with a bit of envy when Jin Ling Young Thug patted the white wolf.
Is she envious that there’s a dog willing to follow someone as evil as Jin Ling Young Thug?
Don’t be mistaken, that’s a wolf! According to Director Cao, the beast tamer accounts for ten percent of the filming fees!
But the class leader’s complexion changed as she kept watching.
Jin Ling Young Thug ordered the white wold to eat his master’s corpse. He’s taking huge bites and eating it deliciously. Class leader, why are you staring at me? It’s not like I was the one who wrote the script. Besides, the actor is Wu Sheng, not me, so don’t blame me.
“Animals get hooked on human meat once they get a taste.”
Little Smart provided a piece of trivia in an untimely manner.
The short film was nearing the end. I quickly picked up the phone and wanted to close the video, but Xiong YaoYue stopped me, “Wait, there’s still a preview of the next episode!”
That’s exactly why I want to turn it off! I remember the next episode was basically an AV!
The orphan female protagonist was living a poor and simple life at the temple in her village, but Jin Ling Young Thug broke in! I mean there aren’t even any martial art experts here, so it’s not even in his character to come here! Director Cao, if you want to film AVs, then go back to Japan!
Ah, damn, Xiong YaoYue snatched the phone away from me and the class leader also saw the next episode preview. The main content of the next episode: The female protagonist and all the other orphan girls will all be raped by Jin Ling Young Thug!
The class leader’s eyes turned into black holes.