I’m Really a Superstar

At the hotel.

In the room.

An elegant piece of music was drifting within as Zhang Ye sat on the sofa, slowly humming along to it. He was really enjoying the relaxing mood from these several days of rare break that he had gotten in over a year. Yes, to Zhang Ye, this was indeed a break. It was a vacation for him because he didn’t have to do anything, nor was he bothered by all the fighting and rioting happening outside.

All of a sudden, the lights came on.

The sound of running water came from the bathroom.

The power was back on?

The water supply had come back?

Zhang Ye narrowed his eyes and raised his head.

Shortly after, the doorbell rang.

After Zhang Ye answered the door, he saw the hotel president and several executives standing outside. He calmly said, “Yo, what are all of you doing here?”

The president said, “We came here to have a look. There have been too many incidents happening in the past few days, so we didn’t have time to take care of many things. We only just found out that the power had been cut and the water supply was stopped.”

Zhang Ye smiled and said, “It’s fine, I’m a man who can make do with whatever is given. I was born into a poor family, so I’m not picky about such things. It’s fine as long as there’s somewhere for me to sleep.”

The hotel’s top brass rolled their eyes.

The president coughed and said, “It’s been so noisy for the past few days with so many waves of people gathering outside every day. Even if you could sleep, I doubt that you had sleep well, isn’t that so?”

Zhang Ye said in surprise, “No?”

“Ah?”

Zhang Ye said, “I think I slept rather well.”

The president and the executives were speechless.

Are you allowing for a discussion to take place?

Tell us! Are you allowing for a discussion to take place?

You slept well? But we didn’t sleep well!

The president said angrily, “Teacher Zhang, let’s not beat around the bush. Just say it. What do we have to do to make you leave?!”

Zhang Ye said calmly, “I’ve already told you about my two demands, and I don’t wish to repeat myself again.”

The president had a ghastly look on his face. “I know that you have the Asian Charity Association backing you. We cannot afford to offend them, but if we were to just stop running the hotel altogether, there’s nothing they can say or do about it.”

Zhang Ye looked at him. “Then go ahead and do it.”

The president didn’t expect him to say this and was taken back.

Zhang Ye said, “But when you finish redecorating and resume business, give me a heads up. I rather like your place, so I’ll make sure to come back here to stay again. I can be quite free with nothing to do when I go back to my country, so I think I will come here to stay for a few days each time whenever my yearly schedule allows. Oh yes, do you have a membership program? You do offer discounts to your loyal customers, right?”

Membership program?

You still want a fucking membership card?

Have you enjoyed staying here?!

Get out of here! Hurry up and get out of here!

The president was sweating profusely. He couldn’t imagine that scene that Zhang Ye had just described a moment ago. Come here to stay a few times a year? For a few days each time? We wouldn’t have enough floors to get wrecked if that was the fucking case! The president was scared shitless. He said, “Alright, don’t say any more. Just stop. You’re more ruthless than I am. I give up, I thoroughly give up!”

Zhang Ye said, “The two demands.”

The president was crying. “I’ll get them done! I’ll get them done immediately!”

Zhang Ye pouted for some reason.

Hey, why are you agreeing to it so easily?

I haven’t even shown you what I am truly capable of yet!

Since Zhang Ye was here, he would surely get the matter settled. Before he came here, he had already devised a plan with more than 10 different ways of causing trouble for them. But unexpectedly, he had only used one method so far and the Asakusa Hotel’s personnel were already left genuflecting. This gave Zhang Ye no sense of accomplishment at all!

…

Across the sea.

China.

The Asakusa Hotel was all over the news and the Internet in recent days. The commotion in Japan, as well as the latest updates on Zhang Ye, were all setting off unending laughter back at home!

“The Asakusa Hotel has been wrecked again!”

“Quickly, come and see this. There’s a picture spreading showing the latest appearance of the Asakusa Hotel!”

“They’ve been given a fresh coat of ‘pain’ again? Beautifully done!”

“How many times is this today?”

“It’s already the third time today!”

“Pfft, I’m doubling over in laughter!”

“They’re really down on their luck!”

“Hahahaha, Lord Zhang is so awesome!”

“What a goddamn great way to blow off steam!”

“Yeah, Face-smacking Zhang is too cruel!”

“Zhang Ye is still staying there?”

“Of course, he’s still staying there.”

“I heard that they cut off his power and water.”

“Aiyo, these past few days have been too fucking funny for me!”

“Yeah, Zhang Ye is merciless!”

“Ah! There’s news!”

“What news?”

“Go and watch! It’s broadcasting on TV!”

“Damn, Central TV News Channel is broadcasting live!”

…

On TV.

The Asakusa Hotel had called a press conference.

Many Asian reporters and media outlets were in attendance. It was extremely chaotic, and it could be seen on camera that many other reporters did not manage to get into the venue. Meanwhile, some of the other reporters could not get a seat after getting inside and had to stand in the aisles where the cameras were set up. When the hotel president appeared, countless reporters immediately shoved their cameras and microphones at him!

The president sat down on stage.

After a moment of silence, he announced three matters.

One: The Asakusa Hotel would be closed for business for three months with immediate effect.

Two: The Asakusa Hotel would remove all problematic reading materials permanently.

Three: The Asakusa Hotel formally apologized to China, Korea, and the other Asian countries.

After saying all that, the president stood up.

The other executives of the hotel also stood up.

Facing the camera, the president and the others bowed deeply.

The press conference ended.

Immediately, there was a jubilant mood across Asia!

…

China.

“They’ve apologized!”

“Quickly watch the news on Central TV! They’ve finally apologized!”

“The problematic mags have been removed!”

“There’s finally a conclusion to the matter!”

“Lord Zhang! Well done!”

“Damn, Zhang Ye was so cool in the way he resolved things!”

“He’s so dashing! I love him to death! I didn’t used to chase after celebrities, but I’m going to follow Zhang Ye closely from now on. I’ve never liked a celebrity so much before!”

“I’ve got to apologize to Zhang Ye as well. When I learned that he had checked in to the Asakusa Hotel, I totally misunderstood him. I should’ve known better. When has Teacher Zhang ever disappointed us?”

“Teacher Zhang, you did well!”

“I’m so excited! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this turn of events!”

“Fucking hell, we still have to depend on Zhang Ye when push comes to shove. When this matter was first exposed, so many people were criticizing the Asakusa Hotel. Even the Chinese and Korean celebrities expressed their stance on the matter and brought more attention to it. They also denounced the hotel, but so what? The hotel simply ignored all their criticisms and the issue remained unsolved. And what can they do about that? The situation just remained as was, didn’t it? But look at Teacher Zhang. He managed to get things done! Only he is capable of doing something like that!”

“We have to cherish Teacher Zhang. It really wasn’t easy for a celebrity like him to come out of China!”

…

Meanwhile.

Korea was actually praising this as well. Several days ago, the Koreans were scolding him together with the Japanese. But just a few days later, the Koreans and Chinese banded together against a new common enemy!

“We won’t be scolding Zhang Ye today!”

“Right, we won’t be scolding him today. Even if we are, we’ll leave it until tomorrow to scold him!”

“The reason why this matter has been resolved is all thanks to that fellow!”

“This matter was really well handled!”

“There’s a Chinese saying: ‘The evil can only be subdued by the evil.’ Zhang Ye might be evil, but when people like those from the Asakusa Hotel exist, we still have to depend on a villain like Zhang Ye to subdue them! This is truly the biggest hooligan of our Asian entertainment industry! A vermin that only appears once every 10,000 years is indeed a worthy title for him!”

…

On this day.

China, Korea, and many other Asian countries were praising Zhang Ye!

With that, Zhang Ye’s name became even more well-known across Asia!