Chapter 248 Dark Thoughts
"Mira!"
"Mira!"
Maria and Celaine were horrified when they saw Mira jump into the fog and disappear from their sight. There was no warning, no sign, just… POOF… gone! They were both left in a state of shock and despair as they couldn't help but think their friend, companion, and savior just died right before their eyes.
Tears were already falling down their faces and they fell to their knees imagining a world where they won't be scolded by Mira, beaten up by her, trained by her, going to wars with her, and won't be able to see her god-like face again!
However, they were shaken out of their thoughts when they heard Elenei's voice in their mind.
"She's not dead. She just got transported to a different location. While I can't say she's fine, her life isn't in danger right now."
The atmosphere turned a bit awkward because they didn't even think about something like that and immediately killed her off when she disappeared…
"Ahahaha did she now? Well, I guess it's only natural that Mira won't die from an oversized fart. That'd be a little too anticlimactic, right? If Mira were to die, then she'll die on the battlefield like a crazed Demon God!"
Celaine and Elenei looked at Maria with dead eyes as soon as she said that.
"What nonsense are you talking about now, Maria? If Mira is going to die then it'll be from training too hard! It's only a matter of time before she decides to do pushups with a mountain on her back, but ends up getting squished!"
"No! No! And No! If Mira's going to die, then it'll definitely be at the hands of my father! As soon as he finds out I contracted with a human, he'll definitely smite her ass into oblivion! Who knows? My father might already know that I've been contracted to a human and is ready to chunk a few meteors in her direction!"
"What the hell!? That's so scary! Please tell your Dad that if he's going to send down any meteors, at least do it when I'm away! I don't really feel like being crushed and it wasn't my fault Mira contracted with you."
***
A few minutes ago
Mira jumped into the fog with reckless abandon and immediately felt a surge of fog surrounding her, scanning her. It was terrifying, even for someone like Mira. The aura she felt surrounding her and scanning her was overwhelmingly dreadful. Just the aura alone had her seeing illusions of her dead friends and family from her past lives while at the same time being tortured phsyically. Even her soul felt like it was being ripped to shreds.
Now she knows why this place freaked everyone, including her, out so much. This was indeed a terrifying place that wasn't meant for any sane person to enter and this was just from her being scanned by something.
Fortunately, the things she was seeing and feeling were an illusion or else she definitely wouldn't be as calm as she is now. Who could possibly remain calm in a situation like this? Sure, Mira was a bit bothered seeing her dead friends and family and was uncomfortable with the physical torture, but the Soul torture was something else.
It fucking hurts. It's a certain kind of pain where no matter how much you experience it, you won't ever be able to get used to it.
However, Mira's mind and soul wasn't so weak that she'll be overwhelmed just by a little illusion that's merely a side-effect of the aura surrounding this place.
She's been through much worse than this, after all, she hasn't died and been forcefully reincarnated 10 times for nothing.
She was stuck in this state for around 30 seconds before the feeling of dread left and her body dropped to the ground. However, something was different… She couldn't feel her body. In fact, she couldn't feel anything!
She couldn't hear, see, smell, touch, or taste anything. Even her intuition, her sixth sense, was barely working.
Honestly, she started panicking a bit now that it's come to this. This felt eerily similar to when whatever treasure her 'captor' used to reincarnate her with her memories intact. First, her mind, body, and soul would go through excruciating pain as it was forcefully excavated from her body instead of going to wherever the souls of the dead are supposed to go. Then after the soul-wrenching pain, her soul will sit in what felt like the void, but she's not sure since, you know, she's lost all of her senses.
But the worst part about this is she's still conscious when her soul is in the void. At that point, she starts to feel a different kind of pain. The pain that comes from loneliness. No friends, no family, no companions, no enemies. Nothing. Hell, she doesn't even get to have a body that she can at least take some comfort in. All she has are her memories, but most of her memories aren't exactly good.
So she's left in this state for who knows how long and the only thing she's able to do is essentially repeat the torturous lives she's already lived and died in. Sure, she can meditate to try and clear her mind, but for how long? What if she's in this void-like state for hundreds or even thousands of years? You don't know, and that's the problem. All she knows is she's forced to essentially relieve her life over and over again until she either breaks, gets a new body, or becomes a cold, unfeeling, machine.
What's worse is that even if she did meditate on, let's say, martial arts. What's she going to do? It's not like she can practice! She doesn't have a body!
Though, it's not like she can't 'improve' as she can improve her theoretical knowledge, but doing so takes a tremendous amount of time and a ton of first-hand experience and knowledge to begin with. You can't become a boxing expert just because you've read how to throw a punch, after all. You have to physically punch, thousands upon thousands of times. But even that's not enough since you need experience as well, which means getting into fights. Only then can you claim you know how to throw a punch properly.
That's why Mira learned so many different martial arts over her several lifetimes. Because she can't improve upon them if she doesn't know nor has she experienced those martial arts.
That might sound all well and good, but it's not like Mira can actually practice when she's in that void-like state. She can't go around trying out various punches or kicks. After some time, it becomes difficult just to picture a physical body.
So most of her knowledge ends up being theoretically useless until she reincarnates again and only then will she be able to practice. However, Mira's goal wasn't to become proficient in a martial art that can be used by everyone. She wanted to practice a martial art that only she can use. As one could guess, that's no easy feat, especially for Mira who will end up switching bodies anyway.
The only way to counteract this is to come up with theories pertaining to every type of body she might have and when she eventually gets her new body, that's when she'll go down a specific path that's made just for her body.
This is where Mira's obsession with Martial Arts came into play. When she no longer cared about the deaths of her friends and family, the betrayals she encountered, the physical and mental torture she endured, and the indecent things that were forced upon her, the only thing left was her will to survive and kill all those that stand in her path towards vengeance!
Parents, siblings, friends, strangers, those things had very little meaning to her anymore. Unfortunately, things aren't all sunshine and rainbows just because she knows martial arts. She will still be reborn as a baby and it'll still take 15-20 years to grow up properly. Not to mention she's a female. Even if she started lifting weights in the womb, the average mortal male can still crush her with ease. Like it or not, but genetics play a big role in how strong someone can get and this is why Mira always suffered.
Well, that's only part of the reason why.
Can you imagine being stuck in a state where you have no body, no senses, not even a sense of time or space, and are left with a never ending darkness accompanied by only your thoughts and memories?
Well, imagine being freed from that! What would you feel? It'd probably feel like you just went to hell and back. Being happy and grateful would be an understatement as just being able to have a body again can make you feel emotions that you didn't even know you had.
Well, that's how Mira feels too. Even if she had already shut off her emotions and closed off her heart, just this feeling alone can open her back up again. This is when Mira is at her weakest and this is where that 'god' likes to set the stage. However, even if Mira knows all this, what can she do? It's like a lone ant trying to take down an omniscient dragon. Even if the ant does everything in its power to take down the dragon, it most likely won't even be able to touch the dragon without dying. But not because the dragon intentionally killed it, but merely because it's an ant in the presence of a dragon.
At least that's how Mira always felt. Even if she guarded her heart and mind, somehow the man always got her. In fact, sometimes that only made things worse.
During one of her lives, on a planet called Earth, Mira read an interesting story that reminded her of the situation she's in.
Ragnarok.
Odin knows that Ragnarok is going to happen and that he's going to die when it does so he spends all of his time trying to prevent it from happening, but the actions that he takes to prevent it are what causes Ragnarok to happen.
Mira felt like Odin in this story since even though she knows what's going to happen and takes measures to prevent it from happening, that only serves to make it worse.
Mira couldn't help but feel a bit emotional thinking up to this point. Since at some point Mira not only gave up caring about those around her, but she also stopped caring about herself as well. So what if she died? So what if she got tortured? Betrayed? R*ped? Jailed? Or was forced to run?
Slowly but surely, her mind was breaking and was giving in to the temptation of essentially being god's slave for the rest of eternity. Her fate was set the moment that man laid eyes on her. Just like Odin's fate was set as soon as he heard about his death during Ragnarok.
Dark thoughts started consuming her mind when she reached this point and unknown to her, Mira's body was releasing a dark and dreadful aura and even some of the poison fog was entering her body yet for some reason it didn't cause any damage.
However, as soon as the fog entered her body, Mira momentarily woke up from that state and immediately realized that she wasn't dead. Her mind was so consumed with thoughts of the past that she forgot she was still in a living breathing body.
That's not really her fault though as this situation was forced upon her by the fog, biome, and whatever aura scanned her body earlier.
It's his moment of clarity that Mira remembered she wasn't helpless anymore. She's currently in a world full of cultivation. A place where even pigs can become gods! Sure, everyone around her is monumentally stronger than the mortals were in her past lives, but interestingly enough, this place has more equality than those mortal worlds.
Women and men basically stop being different after the 1st Realm of cultivation and even humans and beasts have the same level of strength. If one isn't talented then all they need to do is work hard or die trying.
Nonetheless, Mira was glad to be here since she finally has some semblance of control over her fate!
As soon as her thoughts reached this point, her senses were returned to her and she immediately felt herself being teleported somewhere else.
Leaving Mira wondering what the hell is going on?