Imperfect Desires

349 I'll Be Here For You

"Lost the baby?" he repeated her words in a very low voice. But his baby girl was in his room sleeping. Then what did she mean by she lost the baby? What really happened?

"I..." Nora's voice broke again and she tried to breathe in and breathe out. "I was actually injured pretty badly so, I only woke up from the coma after four months. That's when my grandmother told me the baby is no more." 'Also, I won't be able to be a mother ever again.' she left the last sentence unsaid. Her lips trembled as she added, "I never even got to see or hold my baby. I was just told that it was a girl."

Her body shook violently as she recalled those times. She had felt so lonely back then. And she couldn't even share any of it with Xiu because she didn't have the courage to see her own best friend hating her as well. Xiu was her only support, that one person whom she wholeheartedly loved and trusted. But she still couldn't tell Xiu anything. She knew Xiu would never judge her for being selfish or greedy with her love but she also knew that Xiu wouldn't like to hear about the abortion. Even if it was just for a second, she had indeed wanted to take a life before it could even breathe into this world. Xiu would hate her for that one moment.

"You have all the right to hate me. I won't say anything about that. I can't even ask for a second chance because I know I really don't deserve it." She stood up from the chair and turned to leave without waiting for him to say anything. Just like she once did before.

But just as she reached the door, a hand clasped around her wrist. She turned to face Ah-Si who was glaring at her. "You still love running, eh?"

"Huh?"

Nora was frowning when he dragged her with him towards his room. She had no idea why he brought her there again and why did he stop before his daughter's bed? But she didn't question anything. She couldn't do it.

She saw him pick that little girl up in his arms with a doting look on his face. The smile on his face was so different than the way he looked at her earlier. It made her hate herself once again for being selfish and greedy.

But her counselor had reasoned that there was nothing wrong with her thinking. Humans are naturally selfish. She shouldn't beat herself too much.

Honestly, those words never really comforted her. Not even once. Because when her heart was feeling the guilt, how could she feel anything else?

"You have a beautiful daughter," she blurted out without even thinking. "She looks a lot like you."

He stared at her face with an indescribable emotion in his eyes.

"You didn't even ask who her mother is," he said after a moment's reflection. Honestly speaking, earlier when he heard her narrating the whole thing, his mind was buzzing with too much information. It was like every belief of his was crumbling down. He couldn't even tell what he was feeling. And he also didn't know how to react. Neither did he knew whether she was telling him the truth or not. Could he really trust her?

Nora was startled by his words. With a brittle smile, she said, "I better not. I might feel envious of the lucky lady."

"Lucky lady?" Ah-Si couldn't help the dry laugh that escaped from his mouth. "Are you sure she's lucky?"

"Isn't she?" retorted Nora. "She has given birth to your baby. She has you. What more does one need in life."

"If you know that I have Ava's mother in my life, why did you still choose to come here? Why did you tell me everything?"

"I was gonna keep it a secret that I'd carry to my grave. Because I didn't want you to think of me as a bad person. But... The other day when you walked away, I couldn't help that feeling of suffocation that engulfed my soul. I think telling you the truth was the only way for me to escape my own demons." She took a brief pause before continuing, "Earlier, your father also said that we need to face our demons before the demons begin to swallow our soul."

Ah-Si scoffed, "Indeed, my dad is still a busybody."

"He wasn't being a busybody, he was just trying to help. Also, what he said wasn't wrong." Nora defended Xin Zimen without even thinking about it. She had a very good impression of him in her mind.

"That's the problem... My dad had never been wrong and it really makes me angry that I can't even get mad at him for being a busybody." He turned his attention back to the little angel in his arms as he whispered, "As for Ava's mother... I don't have her in my life. After all, she was too scared to even wait for me."

That look of accusation in his eyes was different than before and it really troubled her.

"I really don't know what to say but... Can you please enlighten me how the baby that you lost actually ended up at my door a year and a half ago?"

"What?!"

....

*Knock. Knock. Knock*

Xiu was busy puking her guts out when the knocking at the door caught her attention. She ignored it, well she had to because the nausea was getting worse and she could only empty her stomach.

*Knock. Knock. knock*

She groaned while splashing cold water on her face as the knocking wasn't disappearing. Who the hell was so impatient?! She certainly knew it wasn't Darren since she had already sent him back early in the morning when she woke up with a severe headache and nausea. First, she wanted him to be with his mother, second, she didn't want him to see that she wasn't feeling well.

*Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.*

Okay! That just crushed Xiu's patience. Holding her aching head, she walked up to the main door and pulled it open and barked, "WHAT?! Is the world ending or something? WHY ARE YOU KNOCKING SO MUCH?"

Standing at the other side of the door was her handsome but really annoying boss who simply pushed her aside and invited himself in. Just like she had done to him just a day ago.

"I didn't invite you in," she gritted out.

Dylan who was pacing in her living room now just replied with, "I took a page out my beautiful sister-in-law's page and invited myself in because she certainly wasn't going to."

But as he turned around to look at her face, he couldn't hold back his shock. Her hair was messy, her face was swollen and pale. Her eyes were so red. What the heck! "Where is my beautiful sister-in-law? Because you look horrible. Almost like a zombie."

"Thanks for telling me that," replied Xiu with a touch of heavy sarcasm.

"You're welcome," was his reply in the same tone.

Xiu didn't have the time, energy, or patience to play with him. So, she uttered, "What the bloody fuck do you want, Dylan?"

"That's harsh. But how do you know I am here for something?"

"You just called me beautiful sister-in-law. There is no way you came without an agenda here," said Xiu in an all-knowing manner as she walked towards the fridge and took out a bottle of water which she gobbled down in a minute.

"Wow! You're becoming smarter. I know it's my company's effect," said Dylan feeling proud of himself.

Xiu picked a vase that was close to her and threw it at him. He caught it with ease before saying, "It can break."

"Oh, yeah? Sorry, my intention was breaking your head with it!" she raised her voice at him but instantly regretted it as the sharp pain in her head became unbearable. She sat down at the chair beside her and placed her head on the table while her hand clutched her stomach.

Dylan slowly walked up to her and placed his hand on her shoulder, "Xiu! You look really sick to me. Should I take you to the hospital?"

Xiu shook her head immediately. "Not going. I think it's just a bad hangover."

"I don't think so. It really doesn't look like a hangover to me," stated Dylan.

"I'm really fine. I just didn't sleep for so long and then I drank on an empty stomach. Maybe that's why it's pretty bad. But I'll be okay. You don't need to do anything. And especially, don't you dare call my boyfriend."

She just tilted her head and saw Dylan was already busy on his phone when she added, "Put it down or I'll throw it out my balcony along with you."

"That's the spirit I was looking for. Since you have the energy to fight with me, I believe we are okay."

Xiu rolled her eyes at his logic but didn't comment.

"Why are you here?" she questioned after she saw him tapping his foot on the floor impatiently. He looked rather nervous and excited at the same time. But he also looked moody. "You look like a girl on periods," she stated making him stop his movements to glare at her. "Don't be mad. Your mood swings are quite entertaining to look at."

"If you're only gonna make fun of me, I'm leaving."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Xiu called out to stop him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Let's just blame the hangover. You sit down, make yourself at home and then we'll talk. Okay?"

Dylan thought about it for a while before nodding his head. As for why Xiu chose to placate him so easily, it was because she knew Dylan wouldn't come to her if he didn't have something serious to talk about. At least, his expressions told her so.

And since he had been a constant support to her, she was gonna do the same for him. She was gonna be there for him.