Imperfect Desires

394 Positive

?I like your shirt, I like your fingers, love the way that you smell

To be your favorite jacket, just so I could always be near

I loved you for so long, sometimes it's hard to bear

But after all this time, I hope you wait and see?

The song playing in the background made Dylan frown because the girl with him was really excited to sing along even though today she sounded hoarse. It was lunch hour and Xiu had dragged him out of the office to eat something since he hadn't eaten anything since last night.

"Even to love, you need energy," was her loud and clear argument. "Besides, if you can't love yourself, how are you gonna love someone else?"

Needless to say that Dylan had no other choice but to give in. She was a persistent person or more precisely, a stubborn person.

?Love you every minute, every second

Love you everywhere and any moment

Always and forever I know I can't quit you

'Cause baby you're the one, I don't know how

I love you 'til the last of snow disappears

Love you 'til a rainy day becomes clear

Never knew a love like this, now I can't let go

I'm in love with you, and now you know? (*A Love So Beautiful OST)

Tapping her fingers on the table rhythmically, she still hadn't stopped singing along to the song. And while waiting for their food to arrive, he could only stare at her having her own mini-concert without any care in the world.

"Xiu, even people are staring now. Can you stop singing?" Dylan finally decided to voice out his concern here. He really wasn't liking the way people were looking and they were not that far from the office which meant there was a high chance of meeting someone familiar.

"But I haven't even started singing yet? At most, I'm just humming along," Xiu argued back grumpily as she leaned back in her chair. "But why are you feeling so embarrassed?"

Dylan didn't respond. The waitress placed their food on the table and left. Xiu cleaned the chopsticks and passed it to him before taking her own pair. "Dylan..."

"Hmm," he slightly lifted his eyes to look at her when she called his name.

"I heard you used to write fan letters to me. I mean to Chen Xiu," she stated in an almost hushed voice.

Dylan was taken aback by her words. Why did she bring it up so randomly?

"I did," he answered after clearing his throat.

"But you never posted the letters?" Her eyes were boring into his now. As if trying to find all the answers that she was searching for. Xiu thought if she knew Dylan's point of view about this matter, she might be able to understand Destiny a little better. After all, Dylan and Destiny had one thing in common; they both claimed to be Chen Xiu's biggest fans. "Why did you never post the letters?"

Dylan fell into deep thought. "Maybe because I didn't want to be just another fan," he shrugged his shoulders. Xiu's brows furrowed up in confusion. "Also, because I didn't have anything to say."

Xiu couldn't comprehend his meaning at all. "What are you trying to say?"

Dylan placed his chopsticks down and looked at her seriously. "Every single time I wanted to write a letter, I wasn't able to write the right words." Xiu stared blankly at his face. "Even when I wrote the letter, I felt like the words I chose weren't good enough to express my feelings. I always thought those letters won't be able to convey my admiration for you. And that's why I could never muster up the courage to post any letter."

While Xiu was trying to understand his words, he added, "Also, I was kinda scared that my words of admiration and praise might end up burdening you. In an interview, you once said that your fan letters are like your motivating force. Those words urge you to strive for a better you."

"You didn't want to motivate me?"

Dylan shook his head with a smile, "No, if I could I would want you to give yourself some break. Always trying to be better gets you nowhere. Because people don't like appreciating the effort, they tend to love criticizing instead."

"I have never met a more bizarre fan than you," remarked Xiu with a sigh. "I really used to think that fans love being recognized by their idols. Why did you turn out to be a weirdo?"

"That's because I was a fan of a weirdo, so in turn, I turned out to be a weirdo myself." Xiu squinted her eyes at him laughing at her. "Hey, you must have heard, 'Life is like an echo'. What you do eventually comes back to you."

"Life is an echo," she repeated to herself and wondered whether being in Destiny's body was also part of this cycle? She gave Destiny a second chance to live and in return, she was given a second chance herself. Good or bad; what goes around, comes around.

During the rest of their time at the restaurant, Xiu didn't speak. It made Dylan feel uneasy for some reason because it was not the normal silence. She looked like she was pondering about something. As if something was weighing down on her shoulders. Even when she was texting on her phone, she looked to be distracted.

"Oi!" He shook her shoulder on their way back to get her attention. "Why did you come to work? You could have taken a day off to rest."

"Didn't want to," she replied shortly.

"Why? Did you miss me that much?"

Xiu scrunched up her face at his cheeky remark and gave him a side-eye look. "Are you tested positive?"

"For what?"

"For delusional syndrome!"

Dylan gnashed his teeth at her and looked away saying, "Trying to have a normal conversation with you is the real struggle of my life."

"But you're forgetting, boss." Xiu began pleasantly. "To have a normal conversation, you need to be normal yourself."

As the elevator dinged, Xiu immediately sprinted out while Dylan hollered at her back, "You!"

"Me? What about me?" she looked back at him blinking innocently while she still kept walking but backward now.

"You're detestable! I really can't believe I was trying to cheer you up..."

"Oh, sorry!" He heard Xiu's voice and stopped. Not because of what she said, but because of the person she bumped into. Dylan was so shocked to see the person behind Xiu that his finger that had been pointing at Xiu was frozen in the air now.