Imperfect Desires

539 Imprudent!

After Han Bohai finished his sentence, he felt like silence had descended around him. Because Ying stayed quiet for a long while with a perplexed look.

"Is this the same Chen Xiu I have in mind?" she suddenly spoke up and while Han Bohai furrowed his brows, she continued, "Superstar Chen Xiu? Queen of the entertainment industry who had a bitter end?"

Han Bohai's closed his eyes as if he was trying to hold back his emotions. His hands clenched into fists while his throat constricted. Not trusting his own voice, he only nodded his head.

"Hahahaha!"

Han Bohai opened his eyes to stare at Ying who was rolling on the couch, laughing. However, he couldn't understand why she laughed so unrestrainedly. And why did he feel like it was a burst of mocking laughter?

When Ying calmed down, she sat up straight and took a deep breath saying, "This name is haunting me for a while lately." Han Bohai didn't understand his meaning but he didn't ask because of how strange her expressions were. She seemed to be contemplating deeply. How could she not?

She pulled Han Bohai's hand and made him sit beside herself. Then she turned her attention to him as she asked, "You also knew Chen Xiu personally?" He nodded again. "You said that she is the one who made you believe in miracles once?" His head again bobbed up and down in reply. "How is that possible? A timid person like her who actually embraced death so easily could actually make anyone believe in miracles? Why is it so hard to believe?"

Han Bohai's expressions darkened almost instantly when he heard her talking like that about his Sister Xiu. "Ah Ying, I love you a lot but please refrain from calling my Sister a weak or timid person."

"Wasn't she one?" asked Ying curiously.

"No, she wasn't." His voice was resolute.

"Then why did she gave up on life so easily?"

Han Bohai looked into her eyes with a complicated look as he replied, "Just because it was a suicide doesn't mean there was no killer. And just because she chose death didn't mean she gave up on life easily. If she chose death, it only means she felt like life was scarier than death."

Ying was startled to hear his reply. In fact, his words forced her to think deeply about it. What he said made a lot more sense. How come she never thought from this angle?

Suddenly she had a strange desire, so she asked, "Then you tell me, what kind of a person was this Chen Xiu?"

She wanted to hear the answer not because she was interested in learning about Chen Xiu. More like, she was curious about his answer. She wanted to know how he would describe her. Because she already had four different versions in her memory from four different people.

The question she asked those four people was the same, "Why do you like Chen Xiu?" But the answers she received were strikingly different.

The second person was Zhou Jinhai who said, "She is honest, funny, and most of all reassuring. She can make anyone feel comfortable."

The third person happened to be her own disciple who was obsessed with movies and somehow even knew Chen Xiu personally. And that disciple once described Chen Xiu as "She is a strong woman but she doesn't even know it. She can literally make everyone dance on her fingers but she is too kind to do that."

The last person was obviously Darren, who simply said, "She is like a rose, beautiful. But unless you touch, you won't know how fragile she is."

Now, she met another person who seemed quite close to Chen Xiu as he called her Sister Xiu intimately with ease. So, it made her very curious to know the answer.

Han Bohai took a minute before he replied, "Sister Xiu was... imprudent!"

"Huh?" Ying was dumbfounded. She didn't expect this reply. She had only heard people praising Chen Xiu. It was her first time hearing something so absurd. So, it took her a moment to react. "Are you sure we are talking about the same person? That Goddess Xiu known as the graceful and peerless beauty was actually imprudent? Have you lost your mind?"

Han Bohai chuckled and shook his head, "I'm being very honest. No one knew Sister Xiu better than me. I stayed with her for over four years. And I really can't find another way to best describe her."

"What about her smile lighting up the dark night?"

Han Bohai gave her a sad smile as he answered, "What's the point when she never felt happy in her heart?"

"What about her being honest, funny, and reassuring?"

Han Bohai sighed, "I don't where you heard that but it's all true in some way. However, what's the point when she was never honest with herself? She couldn't even reassure herself!"

"Then what about her being a strong and kind woman?"

Seeing her agitation, he held her hand and patted it saying, "That's also true. She was the strongest, kindest, and the purest person I ever knew. But what's the point when people used that same kindness against her?"

Ying was really feeling disturbed as she murmured the last sentence, "Then was she really like a rose? Beautiful to see but fragile to touch?"

Han Bohai thought about this sentence for a moment before nodding, "I believe that's another way to describe her."

"Then why did you call her imprudent?"

"What else should I call her? If she wasn't foolish, she wouldn't have blindly trusted others' facade of goodwill."

"Is that foolishness of hers that killed her?"

Han Bohai licked his dry lips as he started again, "Yes!" He took a pause before adding, "Sister Xiu was in fact just a very simple girl. Even her dreams were very simple. The only problem of hers was that she was naive enough to believe in the goodness of this world." He looked at Ying and smiled as he went on, "But I can't blame her for that foolishness either. Because it was her naivety in the first place that made me want to know her better. I also wanted to stay close to see whether she was an angel or a devil in the skin of an angel."

"What did you find?" Ying was hugging a throw pillow as she listened to him attentively. Oddly, she felt like she was listening to a story that was getting her emotions to stir up.

Han Bohai placed his hand on her head as he answered, "In the end, she was neither an angel nor a devil. She was just a normal human. Someone who grew up in the darkness of this world but was left untainted from that darkness because of how brightly she shined. However, just like any other human, she was also eventually hurt by this world."

His eyes felt hot and turned his eyes away from her to look around as he mumbled, "If miracles do happen, I only wish for her to come back."