Imperfect Desires

706 A New Meaning

Darren looked up at the doctor and nodded his head.

"Stay here. She called for you in her sleep." Darren's eyes shifted towards Xiu who was sleeping peacefully. "I'll ask them to shift you here."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!"

The doctor waved her hand offhandedly saying, "Just take care of her."

Before the doctor could leave he called out to her, "Doctor, can you do me a favor?" She nodded and he continued, "Don't tell anyone outside that my wife is pregnant."

"Why?"

"She wants to keep it a secret. If this incident ruined her surprise, she's gonna brood for a whole week. So..."

The doctor rolled her eyes at him and said, "I won't say anything."

"Thanks!"

Seeing the doctor leave, Darren moved to Xiu's side. He stared at her face for a long time. He sat down beside her and held her hand in his own as he said, "You're the most reckless person I've ever come across and yet I love you so much! You never let me help you in any way and yet I can't bring myself to be angry with you. Why did you do it?"

Obviously, he wasn't gonna get an answer from her right now but he still couldn't help asking. He placed her hand against his own face as he continued, "Is it necessary to gamble on your life? Why are you forgetting, this time you have another life within you? And what about me? What would I do if anything happened to you?"

He felt her fingers moving and opened his eyes to see her staring right back at him. There was no rage or aggressiveness in her eyes. All he could see was tranquility he hadn't seen before.

"You're awake? Let me call the doctor." Before he could leave, she held his hand and stopped him. Shaking her head, she tugged at his arm to sit back down. As soon as he did, her hand moved towards the bandage around his head and sadness flickered through her eyes. Darren kissed her wrist and said, "It's nothing. It doesn't even hurt. Really."

Xiu tried to sit up but he didn't let her, "Don't move. You're supposed to rest. And don't even dare argue with me on this." Xiu pouted at him and silently scooted towards the edge before patting the space she made for him. Darren eyed her movements, "If I lay down here, you'll stay in the hospital for treatment?" After much hesitation, she nodded her head. Only then Darren laid down beside her.

Xiu instantly hugged him and smiled contentedly. Darren kissed the top of her head and said, "What are you smiling about? Scaring me to death, you still can smile?"

Xiu rubbed her head against his chest but still stayed silent.

How could Darren not understand what game she was playing here? No matter how good she was at it, in the end, he was her husband!

"If you think being silent and acting cute is gonna make my anger any lesser than you're completely mistaken this time around. I am very angry!"

He gritted his teeth and didn't let his resolve falter. "Do you know how dangerous it was for you and for the baby?" Xiu pursed her lips and nodded. "And I hate it that you kept me at the sidelines. I was nothing but a mere prop. It makes me hate myself that I couldn't even help you. Every other person was allowed to step in but me."

Xiu was again silent and Darren thought she'd stay like it but she suddenly said, "If you had stepped in, you'd have to choose between a brother-like friend and me." How could Darren not know this? Of course, he did. But it didn't help the feeling of unease in his heart. "Besides, although I'm glad seeing so many people standing up for me, I never asked them to. In fact, I never wanted any of them to step in."

Xiu rested her head on his chest and continued, "But it's true that the person I wanted to stop interfering, was indeed you."

"Why? I'm your husband! Don't you get it?"

Xiu touched the bandage on his head again and scowled, "Because you're just as reckless as me. When it comes to me, you forget yourself." She closed her eyes and added in a soft voice, "This wound is the proof of what I said. Even now, you're supposed to be taking care of yourself, and yet, you're here." She hugged his neck as she added, "You know very well that wounds can cause complications for you since you're diabetic and yet, you pushed yourself before me."

Darren knew what she said was true that's why he couldn't refute it. He was just as reckless as she was. His arm around her tightened as Xiu heard his choked up voice, "I can't lose you right before my eyes again." Xiu felt something wet on her neck and her whole body stiffened. She tried to look at him but he didn't let her as he continued, "You might think death would set you free but do you realize that it trapped me in a cage of eternal torture? I've watched you breathing your last breath uncountable times in my nightmares. I can't do it again."

Xiu felt something squeezing her heart painfully.

"Why don't you understand that I'm nothing without you? If you're not here, I don't wanna be here either. You're my world." He took a pause and said, "From now on, I'm not gonna listen to you. So what if my friendship would be at stake, I'd still not let you snatch the right of protecting my wife from me. It's my right! Stop exploiting my love for you."

Xiu wiped his tears with her hands and said gently, "I told you, I want to face everything on my own. If it's my fight, why would I want you to fight it for me?"

"But it's dangerous! Don't forget you have another life to protect now!"

Xiu kissed his eyes as she nodded, "Yes. That I agree with. This time I miscalculated. It was indeed dangerous if I had fallen but I had you with me. I knew you'd never let me fall. It's because you're there that I can stand back for myself." She looked into his eyes, "Inwardly, I'm still that soft-hearted Chen Xiu. It's the pretense that I've been dragging for too long. But I am really just me. Changing identity can't change your essence. I still can't bring myself to hate people."

"Sweets!" Darren's voice was harsh as he called out to her. He was bewildered to hear that she still couldn't hate people after everything!

"Regan, I know I'm supposed to hate them. I'm supposed to be mad at everything. But I am not. How people treated me has only shown me what kind of people they truly are. I should be thankful to them for making me see the real them. I needed that." She exhaled a long breath, "But at the end of the day, I still can't become like them. If I really let my revenge rule my life, I'd lose all the beautiful things in my life. And I don't want to lose any of it."

"I don't care if you hate them or not. But I don't want you to forgive any of them this easily!"

Xiu smiled softly at him, "I don't have that in me anymore. That's why I snapped today. I can't forgive anymore. I also don't want to turn my back even after getting insulted. Forgiveness is not that easy. I'll have to kill myself all over again to bring myself to forgive anyone and I can't do that."

"You want to snap? Do it! Do it all you want! However, don't ever forget that right now, your emotional stability is very important for your health and for our baby's health. I don't want you to regret it in the future just because of one reckless emotional moment." He caressed her head saying, "From now on, I'm gonna stick to you like glue. You're gonna get tired of me but I still won't take a step away. I'm gonna make sure that you take care of yourself."

"I can never get tired of you," she chuckled and closed her eyes again happily. It felt like she found a new meaning in life. That one door that had been closed within her had finally opened. It finally lifted her out of her darkness. Now, she could finally say, she's Bai Xiu and this time, she'd mean it.

"I should call the doctor," said Darren.

Xiu groaned, "I don't wanna see a doctor."

"As if I'm gonna listen to that again," he said before leaving her side.