Inexorable Chaos

Chapter 242: 114 Gaw: The Bean

[Merchant Lord Admiral] Testudo is one of the ten greatest captains on the ocean. He is sixth strongest, to be exact, not that the ranking is too exact since it only measures the strength of an [Admiral’s] flagship. Yes, individually, five other captains could likely beat him one on one, but such battles never happen. Almost always, a battle between the Ten is a contest of fleets, of which Testudo does not lack. Twenty fully fitted frigates police the Navis Archipelago, each one fitted with the best enchantments and runes that money can buy. It is a mighty force, combined with his flagship, the Navis, makes him too costly a target to attack.

So, when Testudo strolls onto his ship’s balcony and glances down at his island, he can’t help but frown to see his warships surround a red ship which seems to be in the midst of a mutiny. Hundreds of bright golden whips of light flash aboard the ship, each one just powerful enough to shatter bone but not enough to break wood. The exquisite control on display is more fascinating than any raw explosion of power. Tesudo strokes his mustache and then slowly smiles. It’s been awhile since someone has piqued his curiosity.

“Falzone,” he calls his [Butler].

“Yes my [Lord]?”

“Prepare my casual clothes.”

“Shall I also prepare a drink, sir?”

“Yes. Light roast, long steeped with two spoonfuls of pure honey mixed with warm goat’s milk.”

The [Butler] bows.

“It will be done, my [Lord]”

________________________________________

I take a sip from my mug. “Hah, so your sister duped you with a skill?” I ask as we walk the streets of Navis Archipelago. Well, I say streets, but it’s actually the decks of ships, each one connected to one another by a sturdy gangway. It’s scenic, to say the least. They have ships that function as homes, others as stores, and even a few that are inns and bars. Some ships have even been overhauled for aquaculture.

“Yes, master,” Naunet says with downcast eyes. She looks like a defeated puppy, surrounded in the ruins of her owner’s pillow as he enters the room. She seems practically ready to gut herself for her mistake. Luckily, she needs my permission before she can do that.

Sure, her mistake forces me to knock up several dozen [Maids], but it’s not like there’s thousands of them so I don’t really mind. It just means I have to avoid Jessica as much as possible, which is annoying, but doable.

“Well, the deed is done, so I must do the deed. When we return to the ship, I’ll leave you to make a schedule… Goddamn, I feel like a [Whore].”

“I am most sorry, Master. If you wish to punish me, please do so. I have failed you in ways I can never recompense.”

“I’m not punishing you. Your mistake is punishment enough. Just- uh, have me look at any documents you plan to sign on my behalf.” I take a sip from my mug and allow my eyes to roam the various entrances of these boats. In a normal city, the doors are of standard size and structure, they differ very little between homes, but boats don’t share such similarities. There are hatches of metal, double doors of wood, even a door of stone. They are quite impressively diverse.

“Mmm, my foot itches,” I murmur as I stare at some of the grander entrances, one of which is an entrance to a whorehouse. The double doors are stylized with gold and copper, and smothered in enchantments.

I hear a chirp from my hat as Barglesmash opens the little door on my new tricorn and takes flight. The phoenix caws loudly and then perches on my shoulder like a parakeet, except redder, and burps a stream of bright fire in a city made of wood.

A very visible stream of fire that many people notice.

“Young man,” I turn away from the brothel and find myself face to face with a mustachioed old man holding a steaming mug, surrounded by a small team of [Veteran Bodyguards]. He looks like a [Lord] trying to pose as a wealthy [Merchant] who’s attuned with the common people but still not slumming. “That phoenix on your shoulder. I wish to buy it from you. Name your price.” he says before taking a loud sip from his mug.

I raise an eyebrow and check his class.

Testudo Shell

Level 270 [Merchant Lord Admiral]

Testudo is the lord and leader of the Navis Archipelago and captain of the Navis’ flagship. He is a master in administration, mercantilism, and the seas. Of the ten most powerful living sea captains, he is easily the wealthiest thanks to his ability to bring an island’s worth of trade to entire cities.

Not even an hour after I depart, and somehow I’ve already found myself probably in trouble. I’m getting the hang of this.

I take a slurp of my coffee, making sure to make it as loud as his own, “Sorry, Barglesmash isn’t for sale.”

Testudo takes another sip, making it even louder than before. “[Everything Has a Price], so I must insist that you accede.”

I feel his aura surround me and a skill activate; potent for his class and level, probably because I’m on his property.

Still, I’ve faced down an eons old [Empress] in a battle of wills and survived. His skill washes over my skin-tight aura and slides off.

I sip my drink, and make the sip even louder than his own. “I’m sure everything has a price, but sometimes, the cost is too high.”

At this point, our contest of wills has gained a small audience of [Prostitutes], [Traders], and [Sailors]; small but large enough that rumors will have spread across the entire of the island by tomorrow.

Testudo frowns at me, clearly confused by the fact that his skill failed. He raises his cup to his lips and sniffs. His nostrils move, taking several more breaths. He lowers the cup without a sip and stares at me, specifically my enchanted mug that I may or may not have permanently borrowed from Cleopatra without telling her.

“That drink in your hand. It is not tea, is it?”

I frown.

“No, I have a more refined palate. Ground beans are superior to mere leaves.”

Testudo stands straighter, eyes alighting with fire and passion few could ever truly comprehend.

“You are a coffee drinker as well?” he asks me, more hopeful than anything.

I nod. “I am indeed a servant of the one true drink, the greatest of beverages, with which so few are acquainted. All other liquids are lies sold by the masses due to their ignorance,” I explain to the man, who nods to every word as though I am a prophet speaking the Word.

Testudo walks forward, his nose twitching as he sniffs the air with abandonment, all his thoughts of my phoenix completely forgotten.

He stops a foot from me, eyes gazing at the liquid within my mug.

“And what are your thoughts on tea?”

I sneer. “Boiled grass. A disgraceful drink that only the uncultured and uncivilized allow to grace their mouth. How they can consume leaf water, I truly cannot comprehend. Clearly, there are forces at play to restrict the bean into obscurity.”

A tear rolls down Testudo’s cheek as he raises an arm and plants it on my shoulder. “I… I apologize for my forceful words earlier. Clearly, I was not dealing with a simple man, but a cultured one knowledgeable in the greatest of the world’s gift.”

Testudo sniffs again, smelling the coffee in my hand with a ferver bordering on eroticism.

“Medium roasted, finely powdered, lightly seeped, with about a tablespoon of freshly ground kayne sugar and,” he swallows, “a pinch of cinnamon. I-I never realized that cinnamon can be added for a greater taste… but the smell. Clearly, it is possible.”

Did he just…

“Please, mister–?”

“Bone.”

“Mr. Bone, please come to my castle, to my laboratory. I–I have been experimenting with the great bean. I have so much to reveal to those enlightened.” He tightens his hand on my shoulder while his eyes plead to me like a child wishing to reveal a new toy.

This man is crazy.

But…

“Take me to your laboratory and let us pool our wisdom.”

_________________________________________

“I gained enlightenment barely a century ago, when I’d only just become one of the ten great captains. It was before the creation of my island, before even the keel of my castle was laid.”

Testudo regales the tale to Bone with a smile, letting the young man walk through his coffee laboratory while he does so. Bone stops at a bucket of powdered beans, ground so finely that they are dust. He dips his finger into the bowl and then puts it in his mouth. Bone frowns, but not with disgust. He is merely disappointed; that specific bucket was prepared last week, so the freshness of the bean has been lost.

“Navis, my turtle,” Testudo continues, “was much smaller at the time and could barely carry a stone ship atop its back. Still, with my unique advantages, I thought myself invincible. I’d gotten cocky and picked a fight with the rank ten captain at the time, a [Flamewoven Pirate Captain] who specialized in fire magic. I was confident I could beat the captain since my ship was of stone and not wood, so I waged a battle, only winning by the skin of my teeth. It was that day that I became one of the Great Ten, but it was also that day that I learned even stone will melt if the fire is hot enough.”

Testudo chuckles at the memory, eyes shifting to the walls of his castle. They won’t fall so easily now.

“After the battle, well, my ship was in shambles and Navis was injured. We’d been forced to make port at the nearest island for repairs and recuperation. It so happened I docked on Capulus, the island that produces the bean.”

Testudo smiles as Bone perks up, interest piqued. As he should. The origin of coffee is just as important as the drink itself.

“Capulus at the time produced much less of the bean on account of the many [Pirates] that chose the island for their base. The [Pirates] had forced the islanders to produce different crops, sanctitus crops. Even the worst crop of all.” Testudo pauses and takes a breath, the memory difficult, of such a horrid time filled with such injustice. “They made them plant weeds to be turned into tea.”

“THOSE MONSTERS!” Bone shouts, and the aged man can only nod in affirmation.

But the worst part is yet to come.

“At the time, I thought it a good idea. I’d not tasted the magical bean, and had even sneered at the drink the islanders coveted. But, I needed help with the repairs to my ships, and I couldn’t trust the [Pirates] for that. I was desperate, so I asked the islanders for help in exchange for gold. The tribal [Chieftains] were happy to accept and in celebration, they brought out food and drink. They brought out Coffee. I had wished for tea at the time, but I needed their help, and asking for another drink could ruin the contract. So, I accepted the cup and tasted the nectar of the gods,” Testudo nods, remembering that day, that first tentative sip; that glorious fluid and the magnificent energy which flowed through his bones.

“What happened next?” the younger man asked, his attention completely shifted away from the laboratory and directly to him.

“Reformation. I saw the error of my ways. The curse of tea had lifted from my eyes, and my redemption began in earnest. In the decades since that day, I have righted all the wrongs. I slaughtered the [Pirates] that dared to suppress the bean, and turned Capulus into one of the most defended isles in the entire ocean. I have spared no expense to strengthen the people who created the holy drink. Their villages are now towns, and the former den of the pirates I destroyed is now a prospering port city.”

The young man’s brows furrow. He scratches his hairless chin, then frowns at his hand. “But it wasn’t enough, was it?” the man asks.

Testudo slowly nods. Even with all the good he had done, it was not enough. “It wasn’t enough. The Bean, in all its greatness, continues to be suppressed by those accursed tea drinkers!“ Testudo growls. “Even when faced with the superiority of the Bean, they refuse its gifts. They suppress the Bean in fear of its might.” Testudo slumps back against a stone wall, anger waning into exhaustion. “I’ve tried for so long, but so few have accepted the Bean,” he looks at Bone, at the man’s violet, understanding eyes.

The two are kindred spirits who understand the flaw of the world.

He spreads his arms. “This laboratory, this place of experimentation. I created it to see what can be done to improve the Bean, to broaden its prospects and break the hold that tea has over the world.”

“Smart,” Bone speaks and points at his instruments, each one crafted to allow the creation of coffee in so many of its forms, “but you are blind to the Bean’s true greatness.”

“What?”

All at once, Testudo feels everything reverse. Before, he felt like a master imparting his wisdom to a student. But now, the younger man comes bearing knowledge.

Bone steps forward, his violet eyes on Testudo, who cannot turn away. He can only listen.

“Coffee takes many forms Testudo, and you have only focused on a single one. A liquid form meant to be imbibed. But, coffee is greater than tea. It has always been greater,” Bone grins and spreads his arms. “The bean need not be restricted to a single beverage. It can be brewed into beer, mixed into ice cream, folded into coffee cakes, a pastry made with the bean,” Bone grins wider, “served coated in chocolate, or even be used to flavor meat!”

Testudo’s mouth goes wide at the epiphany, at how blind he truly was. He can feel the tears streaming down his cheeks as his emotions take him. He’d only thought of coffee, when he could have done so much more. His knees give out as he slides down the stone wall. He’d been so blind, wasted so much time trying to spread coffee, when he should have instead spread the Bean.

Then, he feels a hand touch his shoulder. He looks up and finds the man’s comforting gaze looking down. “Your redemption started with your first cup of coffee, and it will end when the Bean is spread across the world.” Bone removes his hand from Testudo’s shoulder and then reaches down with open palm. “I have a plan to spread the Bean, but I cannot do it alone… Can I count on your assistance?”

Testudo sniffs and looks at the hand offering salvation.

He takes the hand and is pulled up. “The entirety of the Navis Archipelago is at your service, Mr. Bone.”

“Call me Quasi,” the man grins toothily, “and prepare your armada for war.”

__________________________________

Naunet paced nervously across a public balcony on the Navis.

“Please, miss, have a seat,” the [Butler], Falzone, beckons her to a chair at the coffee table.

“But my master disappeared into the depths of some ‘laboratory.’ What am I to do if he needs me?”

Falzone sets a pot full of water on the wire stand of the samovar. Barglesmash, standing on the table, hops around it and pecks at the contraption.

“Chirp!”

“Why yes,” replies the [Butler], “if you would be so kind, that will be most helpful.”

Barglesmash chirps again, and with a fwoosh, sets himself ablaze beneath the bouloire.

“I assure you, miss,” Falzone returns his attention to Naunet, “both our masters will be preoccupied for some time and any intervention on our part might be… disastrous.”

He sets out a tea set and preps a teapot with some green leaves.

“Now, I have, here, some of the finest green tea on this side of Orbis. Would you care to join me for a cup?”