375 Dispelling Mathew's worries
“Are you feeling better now?” Nadia asked after holding Mathew in her hands for a while.
Mathew blinked his eyes a few times, trying to get rid of the tears that welled up in his eyes without actively wiping them off with his hand. He then lowered his eyelids, closing his eyes for a moment.
“Yeah,” he finally said after a short while before raising his hands to Nadia’s hips and gently moving her a bit away, freeing himself from her hug. “I’m sorry. So many things happened so quickly that I just got a tad confused, that’s all,” he stated.
“If that’s the excuse you want to go with, I’m fine with that,” Nadia muttered as a slight hint of dissatisfaction appeared on her face right as he took a step back and rested her hands on her hips. She then gave Mathew a long, judging stare. “But it wouldn’t hurt if you allowed yourself to be vulnerable for once,” she pointed out.
“There is no room in this world for men to be vulnerable,” Mathew replied, taking a deep breath to cull all of his weakness and rein all of his insecurities in.
“Well, it would be hard to deny that…” Nadia muttered as she looked away, unhappy with it but still admitting the right behind Mathew’s words.
All the talk about men being vulnerable was nothing more but the sentence that would periodically appear throughout history. In some cases it would be limited just to phrases crowds would put on banners, in others, it would be reflected in how the men behaved.
But there was one thing in common that connected all the instances throughout history where those vulnerable men made their appearance.
It always happened right before a great civilization would fall, marking those times as the height of decadence that would bring an end to the greatness built by the tough men and become the dawn of times that, once again, would create said, tough men.
And with just a single look at the state of the city outside of Mathew’s fortress, one could tell that the good times the strong men created have now been long gone.
“I will go and bring Daria back,” Leila then stepped out, right in time to stop the sudden silence from becoming awkward. She then gave Mathew’s face a side glance. “I can tell that there are quite a lot of things that you want to tell us, so it’s better if we are all together rather than having you repeat everything over and over again.”
“Thanks,” Mathew said, taking a quick look at Leila’s face only to then avert his eyes as his cheeks, once again, covered in a slight blush. “Thanks for everything. And I’m sorry you had to see this shameful display I presented.”
“No biggie.” Leila put on a small, surprisingly kind smile on her face as he waved her hand away. “With how much responsibility you have on your shoulders, I’m actually surprised just how much it took to make you cave in, even if only a little.”
“Cave in?” Mathew echoed Leila’s words.
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“Yeah, caved in,” Leila nodded her head to confirm she used the exact words she wanted. “You are a smart guy. The fact that you are somehow able to make sense of the irrational world around us proves this point,” she states as she turned around and prepared to leave for the bath area, “so there is no way you would think we went as far as to establish an order to who gets to sleep and fuck with you just for the sake…” she stopped in her tracks as she suddenly found herself lost for words.
“For the sake of what, exactly?” Leila then asked herself, raising her chin as she naturally looked towards the ceiling while looking for the answer. “Well, it doesn’t matter,” she said and shook her head. “My point is, you are too smart to have illogical insecurities like that. So, a moment of weakness is the only possible explanation for your outburst from earlier,” Leila stated as she looked over her arm and gave Mathew yet another of her rare, kind smiles.
“But seeing you show us your weak side… I can’t say I hated it,” Leila admitted, giving Mathew a wink before picking up the pace and leaving to do the task she volunteered for.
“Does this make me a bad woman if I feel threatened by how well she put it together?” Nadia muttered with a slight hint of dissatisfaction appearing on her face.
“Not at all,” Mathew replied right away, taking a step forward to close the distance between the two of them and bring the girl into his arms. “I think it’s just my insecurity splashing over and affecting you as well, making you doubt your place by my side in the exact same way I doubted my own right to have you by my side.”
Mathew surrounded Nadia’s shoulders with his arms before pulling her into a tight hug. He didn’t let go of her for a good fewteen seconds, using her warmth, softness, and willingness to stay close to him like that to rebuild the confidence that the recent events took away from him.
“There are times when you are really hard to talk to,” Nadia said, seemingly out of nowhere, while still within Mathew’s embrace.
Then, her body relaxed as she took in a deep breath only to release it in a long sigh.
“So how come there are times when you know exactly what to say?” she asked as she finally gave in and brought her own arms forward, wrapping them around Mathew’s waist as she returned the hug.
“Guys…” Carol, who had enough social awareness to stay silent during the entire event, finally decided it was the right time to remind everyone of her presence. “I don’t mean to be rude… but I guess there is no avoiding it now,” she said, forcing both Mathew and Nadia to look toward where she stood.
Carol then gulped her saliva down before a wild blush appeared on her cheeks.
“I heard all that you guys said and I don’t want to disrespect it nor to rain down on your parade on this clearly emotional moment…” Carol said, only to then bring her eyes up and towards Mathew’s face, refusing to look away as she prepared herself to ask what was going on in her mind.
“But with all that you guys said in mind… I hope it won’t mean you will forget about all my contributions now.”
Mathew’s face turned still for a second. He then brought his eyebrows together, his forehead heating up a little as his mind turned on the higher gear to decipher the meaning behind Carol’s words.
“Do you mean it in this…”
“Yeah,” Carol confirmed Mathew’s guess before he could even fully spell it out.
Mathew stared blankly at the girl for a second before heaving a long and heavy sigh.
“I guess there was never any need for me to be worried about you all leaving me,” he said, right as the look on his face soured a little. “And that kind of reminded me of why we established the sleeping order in the first place.”